They Buy Her Toys, But She Can't Play With Them?

United States
January 1, 2009 6:17pm CST
My cousin and his wife have a 2 year old daughter. She has a bunch of toys and my cousin and his wife buy her new toys almost every week. The sad thing is, the don't want her to play with any of them. I've seen them yell at her for playing with her toys on numerous occasions. If she takes a toy out they yell at her and say "NO! PUT THAT BACK!!!" On Christmas, we all went to their house to watch her open her presents. They went out a bought her a bunch of toys, and every time she opened one up, they took it away from her. It was heart breaking. Isn't that just the most backwards thing you've ever heard? I could see them yelling at her for messing with a vase or something breakable, but she's just playing with her toys. She's only two years old! I just feel like they should stop buy her toys if they don't want her to play with them. What's the point of her having the toys if she's not allowed to play with them? Please share your thoughts and comments.
4 people like this
18 responses
@irishidid (8734)
• United States
2 Jan 09
Have you asked them why they do it? I can't think of any reason for it though. I would think it falls under emotional abuse and mental cruelty. Do they let her play with anything? Do they even let her play at all?
2 people like this
• United States
2 Jan 09
hi shorty...that is so cruel to be given inviting toys to delight you and be forbidden to play with them. that is warped. the poor child is going to have some serious problems later on. i had a manager that refused to buy toys for his children. so the grandparents would out of compassion. some parents shouldn't be allowed to have children.
2 people like this
@fasttalker (2797)
• United States
2 Jan 09
So what does the child do for entertainment? My response is "I don't get it". I mean exactly what is the point of not wanting her to play with them? I would be totally confused and I think I would have to ask them exactly what they are trying to achieve. Good Luck!
2 people like this
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
2 Jan 09
That makes no sense at all. It is not like she is making a complete mess out of them. She is just getting out one of HER toys to play with. I would probably flat out ask them because that seems really dumb to me.
1 person likes this
@regal_aeros (2606)
• Singapore
2 Jan 09
exactly.... why buy her toys only? are they trying to tempt her? Is this their way of showing her they love her? But it's just wrong. You love her by buying toys but don't let her play? What sort of logic is that. Have you tried asking the rationale behind your cousin and his wife's funny character?
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18647)
• Denmark
2 Jan 09
It seems like a very strange behaviour, why give the child some toys if she is not allowed to play with them? My first thought was that the parents are downright cruel, but maybe that is not the case. Maybe there are other reasons for their behaviour. Are they are afraid that she will break the toys if she plays with them? I have heard of that before, but I think it is wrong, and I think that a beautiful and expensive toy that the child is only allowed to look at is no toy at all. Another reason could be that they don't want a mess in the house. Maybe they think that the rooms get too messy, if she child plays with her toys? I think that is wrong, too, because their daughter is just a child and of course she wants to play.
1 person likes this
@stejhas (209)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I don't get it. Do you live in the same house as your cousin?-Do they constantly monitor her and make sure she's not playing? Or do they not allow her to take them home with her to your house? Is it just that they don't want her to open them and lose peices before she gets home? I assume you let her play with her toys, right? So maybe the deal is that they want her to TAKE THEM HOME and play with them there.... Am I not understanding you right? I just don't get it.
1 person likes this
@rusty2rusty (6766)
• Defiance, Ohio
4 Jan 09
I agree. If they don't want her to play with them. Than they should buy them for her. But I do think at two years old they can allow her to play with one toy ata time and start teaching her to put the other one back when she is done.
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I knew someone once who would only let her kids play with certain toys and the nice ones she would put on a shelf and show the child, who was about 2 or so, the toys and then say no you can't play with these. Like she was tempting the kid on purpose just to get some kind of thrill out of the kid throwing a fit when they where told no. Your cousin's wife needs some help, maybe pulling your cousin aside and asking what is going on might be in order. If there is no talking to them then maybe offer to take the child for an hour or so each week and let her play with toys at your house. Good luck.
@g_aileen09 (1354)
• Philippines
2 Jan 09
People who were deprived of toys at a very young age may grow selfish and showy. Maybe the parents wanted all the toys for themselves, or so to show-off to visitors. Hahaha. Poor toddler.
@Polly289 (269)
• New Zealand
2 Jan 09
Gosh that is tragic. That poor child. They are obviously messing with her head. She'll no doubt grow up hating toys all together. Another point is, perhaps it's all for show. We bought her this and we bought her that. It's sounds more like what they have and what she has is more important than the enjoyment. Alas and woe you can't do anything about it.
@Darkwing (21588)
2 Jan 09
Ok... have you considered that they only don't want the child to play with her toys whilst they have visitors and can't give her one hundred percent supervision, in case of accident. Or that they don't like her to leave them lying around whilst visitors are in the house in case of accidents? I can't see any apparent reason, no matter how many times I read this, that they should stop her playing with her toys completely, especially when they buy a lot of them, themselves. I feel it's more of a supervision issue or perhaps preventing accidents in the home. I'm sure she gets to play with them whilst they can give her their undivided attention. Brightest Blessings.
@oldboy46 (2132)
• Australia
2 Jan 09
There are people/parents like that all over the world unfortunately. I am not sure if they simply have no idea or what. I have seen it happen in my own family where my brother and his wife used to buy presents for their children but never let them play with the toys. They were allowed to hold the box the toy was in sometimes but that was all and in fact the toys never came out of the box. However my favourite brother and sister-in-law would have none of that and only ever gave our nieces and nephews a present when they were there. That is they never sent a present for them with anyone else or through the mail because they knew what would happen. When they gave the nieces and nephews a present, they would take it out of the box and ask the child how it worked etc. Then my brother who gave the present would destroy the box so the toy could not be put back in it again. Alsop every time they spoke to those children they would ask if the tou was still fun and how often they played with it etc. Only once did that terrible sister-in-law not let the children play with those toys and my favourite sister-in-law got really angry about it. lol When the children were aged 6, 8, 9 and 11, my brother's wife left him, taking the children with her. It appears that she must have left in a hurry or something as she left all those toys behind and they were really expensive ones too. At some stage all those boxed presents ended up at my mother's home and we found them still packed away when we cleaned out her unit when she went into the nursing home. By this time the niece and nephews had all married and most had chidren of their own so we gave them the toys. The father of those children said his ex-wife did not get toys when she was a chid which is why they could never play with them. She preferred to put the toys on display in a cabinet where everyone could see them. So maybe you could take a leaf out of my favourite brother's book. Give your niece a present, make sure it is opened and she can play with it while you are there and also destroy the box.
• India
2 Jan 09
I would not yell at a toddler even for breaking a vase. It’s a toddler for God’s sake…its our fault if we don’t remove the breakable things to a place where she cant reach them. And even if she did, it is to be expected from her and not us adults. So why are her parents yelling at her! Poor child, I think she’s going to have a difficult time with her parents. Buy her parents are not alone you know…I have seen many parents like them who buy expensive and extensive toys for their kids just to show off to friends and neighbours. then they put away the toys in showcases or cupboards and don’t allow the children to play with them. Its very cruel on their part.
• China
2 Jan 09
Interesting couple! IF i were them,i would buy one or two toys every month for the 2 year old daughter.Too toys are waste and not useful.The toys must suit the child to use. And i also would play with the child.The person and person's interaction is more important.
@sunil_008 (1270)
• India
2 Jan 09
you are absolutely right. if a baby doesn't get a chance to play with the toys then why they are buying it for her. i think they just want her to be very mature . so that she won't mess up things and be very cautious while playing. but since the baby is only 2 years old how can she do that. children do break things at home. and toys are only for children to play with. i am sure her parents are not playing with the toys instead...happy new year
@gracie04 (4554)
• Philippines
2 Jan 09
That's weird.. and yes, confusing.. i don't get the fact that they still give her toys but they don't allow her to play with it.. yay!
@Nubi505 (41)
• United States
2 Jan 09
A. You should never overwhelm a little child with multiple toys. A few at a time is probably the best way to go. Lengthens their attention span, gives them a little variety, and it is easy to switch out a few new/alternative toys so they don't get bored with what they have as quickly. B. No toys = Parents ripping their hair out from a discontented child. I remember hanging out at my sister's and the children (around 2-4 years old) were hyper and all over the place even with toys. No amusement for a child would be brutal to both parent and child. C. Buying a bunch of toys and hoarding them from your child is like shooting yourself in the foot. Why would anyone do that? I'd like to know the answer. If you ever find out you should update us. I'm pretty curious. I can understand if its a collectible, something for them to look at and cherish when older. Those aren't toys though. Those are 'memories' the parent stores away and gives to the child when older and tells them a story about it. Toys are disposable. They are played with, enjoyed, used, and replaced when broken being playing with. Its the cycle of toys.