I dont like to cook..Any advice?

Philippines
January 13, 2009 12:36am CST
I just got married and i am afraid my hubby will be discouraged to me coz i am not really good in cooking.Even before,i dont like to cook.Now that i am married already,i guess i have to learn cooking.Even though my hubby is aware that i dont like to cook,i feel guilty coz he said he will teach me.Isn't it a shame for a wife who dont know how to cook?The problem is that,i dont have the interest.Any advice?
6 people like this
39 responses
@bdugas (3584)
• United States
14 Jan 09
I think you should stop and think about what it is that you don't like about cooking, is it the time it takes, the mess to clean up. One thing we all have to do is eat. Being single you can go out or just snack around, but when you get married it is a whole different ballgame. Men who go out and work all day believe that they should have a meal on the table when they get home. What did you do before you got married, it is expensive to eat out all the time. I think being a wife and wanting to be a good wife, maybe get you a cookbook and try things that is easy, maybe you are afraid that it won't come out right, we all make bad meals sometimes no matter how long we been cooking. If you dont' like the time it takes, maybe a crockpot that you could put a roast in with some potatoes and carrots or what ever else you like and let it cook it's self. i don't believe your husband is going to want to do the cooking and clean up too and work. He may for a while, if you love your husband then you should learn to cook for him, not saying that you should do it all, but at least help him.
2 people like this
@youless (86586)
• Guangzhou, China
13 Jan 09
I think it's OK. Nobody knows to cook at the beginning. You can learn it. And I hope you will find it interesting. Especially one day when you cook well, you will feel very happy and proud to see your husband enjoys your dishes. Cooking is a very interesting housework. I love China
1 person likes this
@ClassyCat (1214)
• United States
14 Jan 09
One thing about eatingout all of the time, is that it sure takes a lot out of your paychecks. Eating out is ok now and then, but resturant food on a constant basis can get really boring. And too - if you eat a lot of the cheap junk food, it'll come back and "bite you" in the form of a lot of health problems later in life. There are a lot of healthy - easy to fix things, if a perspn wants to try. What'll happen down the road if you have 3-4 kids?
@ayenacsi (911)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
Why not ask around what is his favorite dish and try to surprise him. I think that is motivation enough. It won't matter if it doesn't turn out right the first time, just try again, I am sure he will be pleased with your efforts.
1 person likes this
@loneleaf (166)
• China
15 Jan 09
wow, I have the same opinion. First you should know his favorite and then cooked for him, he will be very happy seeing the effort you give. I am a man and will be get married next year, my fiancee also can not cook any more. But I can feel the love from my girlfriend and don't look forward to the food she cooks for me. It is a secrect that my GF's cooking skill are so bad that even make herself feel very shame. Therefore, she always let me cook and she does the rest things. I know she are learning cooking refer to the book now and she also ask for my require of taste, several days ago, she suddenly told me she would cook for me in the new year. No matter what the result is, I love my gf and I am willing to cook for her for the whole life
@ronaldinu (12454)
• Malta
14 Jan 09
chef - cook is rewarding
I believe that certain skills can be learned in life such as driving and cooking. I don#t find it is a shame for a woman no knowing how to cook. It is not written in a law that a woman needs to know how to cook before marriage. I would advice to buy a good cookery book or attend a class. Or else watch television. A lot of morning tv there are lots of chefs trying to teach us how to cook. i would try to cook simple things first.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (18782)
• India
14 Jan 09
Hi thanxiang, First of all let me assure that it is not at all a shame. We never learn anything by birth. We are growing and at the same time learning something too. It is not too late to learn cooking and learning the same is not at all big issue. If your hubby knows cooking then you can depend on him for learning. He already knows that you don't know cooking then what is the problem. But in my opinion you should show interest to learn and start the task as early as possible. All the best and go ahead without any guilty. Hope you will love cooking and enjoy the same too. Have a Nice time ahead.
• India
14 Jan 09
It is quite normal now if a girl says she does not know cooking. And its just honesty and definitely compatibility which are some of the important factors in a relationship. I myself don't know much of the cooking, am familiar with just the basic ways. Most importantly I'm not afraid of this to my future husband. So, my friend don't worry your husband won't be let down by something like this.
1 person likes this
@Loverbear (4929)
• United States
14 Jan 09
Don't feel guilty because your husband said he'll teach you how to cook. What a great bonding experience and a chance for both of you to have a lot of fun together. By having him teach you, it makes him feel special too. I've known women who couldn't boil water...their husbands had a wonderful time teaching them how to cook. So, don't feel guilty that you didn't learn to cook and your husband is teaching you. Look at it as an honor to have a personal tutor and someone that is close to you and will grow closer to you because you have chosen to honor and respect him for something that he knows how to do and are allowing him to teach you how to cook. Just remember to have fun while you're learning from a man who is wonderful enough to want to take you under his wing and teach you something he knows.
1 person likes this
• India
13 Jan 09
The love line of a person, starts from his stomach, i mean good food -- the old person say so. You can try easy to cook or Pack Cooking thing first and then try to make simple thing. Once, your husband says .. "WOW That's Grate" .. Then you are really enjoy to do that.
1 person likes this
@jessi0887 (2794)
• United States
13 Jan 09
Buy a cookbook and just go with things. Thats what i do sometimes. Or stick to simple things like sphaggeti, taco's, casseroles. Also get advice from your mom or your Mother in law. My mother in law shared some secret recipes just so she knew her son was getting what he likes. LOL!
1 person likes this
• Italy
13 Jan 09
I hate cooking as well, but I do it all the time, because I like eating :). Have you tried to cook your most favorite meal?? It might turn out that you'll enjoy it..I am a maniac about sweets, so I first started with baking cookies, and making chocolate cakes..
1 person likes this
@Lindalinda (4116)
• Canada
13 Jan 09
There is always something that each of us does not like to do. I say, if you can read you can cook. You seem to be a very intelligent person so I see only one problem, namely that you don't like it. It is so important these days that we are all self sufficient, in particular women so we all have to learn to prepare simple food to sutain us. You are so lucky, you say your husband will teach you. It can be fun and bring the two of you closer together. I presume you oth work or go to school, so after a rough day it would be comforting to prepare a meal together.
@lellyp (245)
• Indonesia
13 Jan 09
Its ok don't worry. Cooking is easy, 1.Try to cook for your self, tested, and try to review what you cook. Write all + - your meal. 2.Just cook something really you like it. 3.Start easy meal, like scramble egg you can put anything you like like onion, cilly etc. 4.After you review the scramble egg u will know what you cook is good, bad and not bad. You always can try to make it again, until you make sure the result more than good from last time you make it. 5.Just try cooking scramble egg after you really sure, you can make it much better. After that u can try another meal, Just remember make something you really like. The point is: * If what you cooking is delicious for your self, i think will be delicious too for the other. * To make that food look better you can give garnish to more look good use carrot, cucumber, tomato etc. * Always try something easy menu. Good luck
1 person likes this
@madhu_yl (116)
• India
13 Jan 09
Hi thanxian,in my opinion cooking is not big problem,it is very easy.first you practice easy items after you will try big items,and you take your hubby help don't feel shy.Every day you can practice in few hours and automaticaly craete the interest.I think you defenetly do well.
1 person likes this
@anndocs (249)
13 Jan 09
There's nothing to ashamed with that. Maybe now you don't have interest , hopefully in near future you'll be interested specially when your hubby or children will start to ask/request you with a big smile :) you something for them how can you resist that? that was so special and inspiring!.. As promised by your happy he will teach you- just enjoy it and listen :) maybe from there you'll get interested. I believe it also a changed of mind- if the times telling you - you have to then get up and act! try also to mingle with friends who has the passion in cooking you will surely inspire. And remember you are doing these things out of love :0 good day!
1 person likes this
@VAnnasamy (426)
• India
13 Jan 09
Friends here are to COOK up further..
1 person likes this
@angelia286 (2029)
• Singapore
13 Jan 09
Well I happen to be a modern woman living in a modern times. And well, if the modern woman do not know how to cook or has no interest in cooking, there is nothing to feel ashamed of. Afterall, now it's a generation of equality between the genders and gone is the mentality of the fact that woman are meant to be kept at home, and women have to learn to cook and do housework. Those were in the past. If you were living in the older generation and you do not know how to cook, then that is something that is shameful. But now, No! In the past, a wife's role and duty is bound to the husband and she must service him such that he remains happy. WOmen are taught to be subserviant to men, and serve men by cooking and washing after the man. Well, all those ideas are thrown out of the window once revolution comes in. Now, we have woman who work to support the family too! So, if that is the case, why should women feel guilty just because they do not know how to cook? For me, I have a personal interest in cooking, know how to cook but yet dislike cooking. Lol. I try to avoid cooking unless there is someone washing up after me or preparing the ingredients for me. I hate the preparation process of preparing a dish and the washing up of dishes that comes after a meal. hehe. Well, if you don't have the interest, well don't force yourself. Could it be that it is becase you do not know how to cook, hence you do not like cooking? Or is it that you find it just too troublesome? You will have to know the real reason behind your dislike for cooking before you can tackle the problem and overcome them.
1 person likes this
@nanayangel (7691)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
Hi there! I don't think there's any problem with that. I was just wondering why you never got the chance to mention that to him before you two got married? But when you get married, you don't have to pretend to be someone that you're not. You should show your other half the real you. I also don't like cooking but I have told my husband that way before we got married. He likes cooking and he's cool with it. I think you should tell your husband the truth, that you don't like cooking at all. I don't think that's something that you should be ashamed of.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
14 Jan 09
If you were in America, I would tell you to watch some of the really, really fun cooking shows. It's hard not to like to cook if you watch them. My earliest memories of fun were cooking with my Mom. She passed away in 1998 and I wished I had learned more from her and gotten more of her recipes. If there is something you really love to eat, learning how to cook that is good. In this economy, if you don't learn how to cook, it's getting too expensive to buy ready-made meals or to go out to eat all the time. If your husband is patient and makes it fun, maybe you will have many fond memories like I did with my Mom. Even the errors aren't so bad when someone is patient and fun. If he isn't patient and fun, that will add to the problem. Imagine yourself cooking wonderful things that you both love and him beaming with pride, "My wife made this." I see that often, my husband brings things I baked to work and all the guys envy him. He tells me all about it. One year, I sold some of my baked stuff and made money, but now the rules are more strict and I would need an industrial or professional kitchen to do all that. Imagine food that you can't afford to eat very often, but that you love, and now you can have it more often because you can make it and afford it more. There are many neat things about cooking. Like your house smelling of just made (whatever you love the smell of most) that lingers for hours, but if you buy it or go out, the smell is for a moment only. The science of many foods, how and why rice expands, why bread rises with baking powder for a different reason than yeast. And so on. I like that my family has Japanese Quince plants which are rare in the USA. Now I made jelly/jam from the Quince. No one else has that because no one else has the plants. Also I made rose jelly because we have roses, can't buy that around here either, that's Middle Eastern. I would have to mail order those online to get some. Since I cook and others don't, I get things given to me all the time. Like one family had plums, they gave us a bunch of plums and I made plum jam. I gave that as presents for the holidays. No cost for the plums, just the sugar and pectin. When people grown too much of something, they give it to me, pumpkins, squash, etc. Wonderful things happen when you can cook. The more you can cook, the more wonderful things happen. Your family is healthier because the food is better, you may even decide to grow a garden or two or at least have spices growing on a window sill. This could open up an entire new world for you. Please give it your best shot. Take care.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
14 Jan 09
Do you plan on having children? They need to eat and baby food costs about $1 a 1/4 cup jar, but in the USA, it's a few pennies for 1/4 cup if you make it yourself.
• Philippines
21 Feb 09
Hello thanxiang!I think that you should start learning how to cook. Well, it must be hard because you do not have the interest to start with. But I guess, you will start to develop the interest once you have tried cooking. I am sure that your hubby would be very happy if you could cook for him. For sure, he will be very proud of you... But then again, do not force yourself into it. I mean, there is no harm in trying. If you think you like and enjoy it, go ahead and learn more. But if you do not really like it, well, do not push it. Good luck!
@checapricorn (16072)
• United States
15 Jan 09
[i]Hi anxiang, Maybe it's time motivate yourself about it. I know you will learn to love doing it once you will see your husband eating well and happy with your food! LOL! I don't cook but I love trying but I end up eating alone since it didn't taste good! lOL! My hubby is a great cook and he loves to be in the kitchen too! I will only cook for his lunch during working days but the rest of the meal, he loves to prepare it![/i]