Dealing wth teenagers

I helped raise 4 boys. I know where you are coming from. Here are a few techniques you can try. Begin to think of your boys as young adults, and treat them as you would an adult neighbor or friend. Realize that they are young adults and treat them with the respect that you demand from them. Forget discipline! These are young adults! When you want or need something from a friend or neighbor, you do a trade, or work out a deal. Try this with your boys. Tell them," we are in this together and we have to make the best of it. How would you suggest we get this done?" Give this a try! It just might work for you, as it did for me.

i am a single mom of four teens. and i make sure that they are aware of who is the boss of this house. they dont use the phone except for very important matters. they can only use the computer if they will use it for researches or anything that the school demands. playing at the pc is prohibited. they help with the chores around the house. of course they still make me angry i think that is natural but i make sure that they give me what i want before i give what they want. i started disipline at an early age so they are brought up that way. i can say that if they insist on doing things like talking hours and hours at the phone i myself take of the connection of the phone (lol) i also take off the conection of the PC. i maybe harsh but i need to let them know that i am the boss around here. and so far so good they do follow orders. thank God. but like i told you i still get angry and mad at them. they are no perfect but i make sure they know where they satnd. your problem indeed is very stressful. i hope you can find a good way for them to listen to you and for them to realize that you are important.

I think we all face the similar situation. Teenagers just do not listen to us, they pass their time, as per their choice and likings. They tend to feel that they have grown up and now no one should 'instruct' them what to do and what not to do. But, as a parent, we on our part, keep advising them. I think if they are handling their studies in a appreciable manner, then they should be allowed to spend their time, as per their likings and if they are not performing well in their studies, they should be strictly told that their studies and career comes first, than anything else. It would not be advisable to treat them with an iron hand, they needed to be handled with care and politeness. Our harsh words and strict actions, make them more rebelious, I feel. Good Post!

I think there need to be support groups for "parents of teenagers?! lol Seriously, I think this is one of the hardest times for parents and children. But then again, I have probably thought that through EVERY "stage" that they've been through! Remember the terrible two's? Now we are at the terrible THIRTEEN'S! I think that the best apporoach varries depending on the personalities of the parent and the child. I do think it is important to have some type of "friend" relationship with your child, but I also think that does NOT meant that we forget we are also their PARENT. One thing that helps me on the good days, is remember to TRY not to take things too personally. It is a STATE and their bodies and minds are going through a LOT. This doesn't mean it's okay to tolerate disprespect on a regular basis, but what I do mean is that we need to be a little bit understanding. One thing that I've learned recently is the theory of rewarding good behavior VS rewarding bad behavior...Of course it is good to reward good behavior, we do this with things such as verbal praise as well and tangible gifts, allowance etc. What we sometimes DON'T realize is that sometimes we reward NEGATIVE behavior without realizing it. Sometimes we do that by engaging in an argument. Giving them TOO MUCH attention when they are behaving badly. Sometimes when we scream and yell at our children it is a form of reward (ironically) because it is giving them attention. Sometimes children want our attention and if they don't get it with their GOOD behavior they will conciously or unconciously seek it out with BAD behavior.

Hi-I have 2. A girl-17,in College taking up pre-school education. And a boy 16-third year high school. Their hands are always full...laptop(though,they dont go for internet games),they chat til kingdom come. Its very hard to talk to them because an Ipod is always connected to the ears...if their hands are on the keyboards-their fingers twist and turn with their cellphones..texting also til kingdom come...sometimes...my BP soars so high from all the stress. They dont even study. My son,as soon as he arrives from school would not even bother to get out of his uniform,he would start chatting right away...I really dont understand...they are with these people all the day...when they go home,they chat and text.... No matter how I say..."it is your responsibility to have fun and study",you are always having fun...but you dont study at all.."...this goes to deaf ears of course. I guess,I will have to relax and hope that the adventurous and rebellious stage would pass soon...(hope-sooner) I realized,that if I nag them,the more they would like to rebel...so I leave them be. I mind my own things,cleaning the clutter(though I always have the urge to just throw everything). Last week end,my son brought 15 boys to the house...they spent 2 nights here...I cooked dinner last friday,on saturday-I prepared breakfast-lunch-dinner.on Friday-breakfast again...and if my son didnt tell them that we were going out...no one had a plan to go home yet. I was glad,they were in my house,instead of my son with them...but imagine how much I spent for the food. My husband is away on a trip(work),he had to send me additonal cash for the food. I am sure that as long as we show love and respect to them,as soon as they mature...they will turn out to be good people. The only thing I am grateful is they both do not talk back...they sometimes anwswer in a not so nice voice-but I see to it that they change the attitude,I guess...our culture has something to do with this...I dont know. Just remain tough-but loving...I know i will not be of so much help,but at least-you know you are not alone.

Teenagers nowadays were realy different remembering what I was way back then. I have two teen-age nieces and they seem not to care at all when it comes to helping their moms with household chores. Yah! they're always either on the phone, internet and TV. What their moms do, still give them household responsibilites. Nagging is a no no since they are girls. Anyway, we just give them praises if things were done properly and when they got good marks in school.

You are about to face the greatest challenge in your life ie is disciplining the teenagers. Teenagers around that age or torn between being a kid and an adult. They no longer want you to dictate their lives as they feel they have come out of the small boy image but neither can they be considered adult as they are still dependent on you. They are fighting to be considered adultkid, physically they might be big but mentally they still have the mind of a small boy. What you can do is to listen to them and make yourself be a friend to them as what they really need is attention. Praise them openly and do not act harshly when you want to ask them to do anything. They are at the height of their rebellious age and going against the grain might not be effective. So go with their flow.

Ellie, We tend to say that teens rebel, the way the teens look at it now is that we are just old and do not understand lol. I have raised 6 teenagers and the boys are always so much more challenging. Maybe you might want to sit down and ask them what their goals are and what kind of schedule they would like to do as far as cleaning and school work. The answer may suprise you. At that point you are asking and not nagging. Then come to an agreement. They still want us to parent but they also want to be an adult. They are caught in the middle boy? man? As far as you changing your children this will never ever happen they will evolve before your very eyes. One day he was my little boy and the next day I was looking at a responsible man. I wish you all the luck and hope it helped a bit.

I wanted to be part of an international fashion magazine – part of the editorial board I mean. But I also to be a receptionist of a grand hotel. I wanted to meet a lot of people, different people in a day. That would be exciting I guess..

It’s hard but you have the idea of what it’s like of course especially if you were that curious. I have a niece; she’s 14 and very aggressive about things, wanting to know a lot of crazy things that would make us crazy as well. She sometimes go out without her mother’s knowing and we would like call everybody asking where and what is happening to her. But we tend to adjust and understand since we know what it’s like..

I recommend you spank them, at least the younger one to set an example for the older one. That is one of the best ways to do it. My brother got beat when he was "distracted" like that and well it worked. He got back on track and the beating set an example for me that either dont get caught distracted or dont distract cause parents will beat my butt. If their studies are being affected by all the distractions like really badly where they are getting Cs and Ds then you should for sure hit them but if they are still getting As then obviously its not bothering them. Its the teenage years, you can't really mess with it. They talk back.