February 11, 2009 4:06pm CST
I have a problem and I would like to know what the rest of you think about it and as I think it is something we all struggle with at some point. In general I try to be a very kind and loving person. I try to listen respectfully even if I do not agree with another person's point of view and try not to be judgmental of their actions or decisions because I have never walked in their shoes. Those that know me well would say that I have a very forgiving nature and like to give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove that they are not worthy of it. The saying "fool me once shame on you. fool me twice shame on me", comes to mind. I will indeed accept that someone made a mistake if they do something that hurts me or violates my trust in any way but, at the same time I will not let you repeatedly walk all over me like a doormat. So my question to you is this, what is the difference between unresolved hurt feelings because of something someone did and holding a grudge? This is the situation that I'm facing. I have a person who violated my trust, and I am having trouble moving forward in our relationship because of my hurt feelings and the fact that I don't think she fully grasps why I am as upset as I am. (Keep in mind, she is an acquaintance that I must work with and so I can not just walk away.) I have to go in to the office and have yet another meeting to address some of the ongoing issues. I am having a very difficult time getting over my hurt feelings and trusting this person so that we can have a functional professional relationship. As I have already said I am having trouble accepting an apology because I feel that she just doesn't get why I was hurt to begin with. What is the difference between what I have just described above and holding a grudge against a person? By the way, I don't think that I'm holding a grudge against her, because it feels more like hurt and I think a grudge would be out of anger or frustration. But, if you have a different opinion than mine please feel free to tell me that you think I'm wrong and point me in another direction, because I'm getting nowhere. Seriously, I need some thoughtful responses to this problem because I don't want it to get in my way in the future but I can't move on and forget something if I feel a person doesn't really get the damage they've done to begin with. Please share your thoughts, opinions and any experiences that you have which may be similar. I need some help here and as always your comments are appreciated. Until next time, happy Mylotting!