Yesterday a lady was very upset

@maximax8 (28559)
United Kingdom
March 18, 2009 8:32am CST
I was looking at posts on a parenting website that go to sometimes. It is a discussion site about issues like pregnancy and caring for babies as well as young children. One lady of 27 years old wrote a very worrying post indeed and she had over fifty replies before I saw it. Then the managers of the web site stopped any more comments being posted. The lady was 26 weeks pregnant and she had just found out her husband was having an affair. Her husband left her and she felt really sad. She rang around to ask about having an abortion but she was told that the limit was 20 weeks pregnancy. One of the replies mentioned she lived in South Africa. She was thinking about getting a back street illegal abortion. Members of the website suggested she was suffering depression and needed urgent help. She said she might take an overdose and that she wanted to die. I don't know what happened to her but I feel sad for her and her yet to be born baby. What do you think?
7 people like this
17 responses
18 Mar 09
Hi maximax8, That is so very sad, hope she hasen't done anything to harm herself or the baby, don't really know what the cultre like in South Africa but she should have got on with having her baby and washed her hands of her husband and got on with her life. Tamara
@maximax8 (28559)
• United Kingdom
18 Mar 09
Hello Tamara Fire Heart. It was such a sad thing for me to read yesterday when I am used to reading posts about naming a baby or choosing a pushchair. The lady really upset lots of people on the website that were very concerned about her. I was very relieved to read today that she got professional help. However the health service in South Africa costs money so I hope she will be able to continue the treatment she is getting. Maxine
1 person likes this
@bbtort (47)
• Singapore
19 Mar 09
I was shocked and sad when I read this story. Now that she has found professional help I am happy for her. She has serious problems that she needs to deal with in life. Luckily the abortion didn't happen. It could have been dangerous. She could lose her life. Hope she will get strong and continue to live on.
@maximax8 (28559)
• United Kingdom
19 Mar 09
Yes, I think the lady is even stronger today. Hopefully the wish to do anything dangerous has disappeared from her mind now. I so very much hope she will be able to afford all the treatment she is getting. A back street abortion would have been the worst decision of her life so I am so relieved she didn't go ahead and have one.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 Mar 09
Sounds like a really sad situation. Hope she finds some help.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (28559)
• United Kingdom
19 Mar 09
Luckily the lady got the professional help she needed and her yet to be born baby is still healthy.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 Mar 09
That's good to hear!
18 Mar 09
Hi there I think this is a very sad story! I also think that the mods shouldn't have stopped the responses - it is possible that if they were supportive, they might have helped her through a difficult time - you know, sometimes just knowing that there are people out there supporting you makes all the difference. Abortions in South Africa are illegal so no matter how far she is in her pregnancy, in South Africa, she would end up having a back street abortion which could (and often they do) end badly for her and her baby. I think that those who thought she was perhaps depressed were correct and she no doubt does need help, but unfortunately, in SA the health service is all private and it would cost her to get the help that she needs - it is possible that she doesn't have the money or resources to get the help she needs. I hope somebody comes to her rescue. Violetdreams
@maximax8 (28559)
• United Kingdom
18 Mar 09
Hi my friend violet Dreams. I think most of the people that read her post felt very sorry for her indeed. I thought that she was out of control and that is was awful that the managers stopped any more responses. I was amazed to see today that she had written another post thanking people for the all support. She has spoken to a doctor today and he made her feel happier. Her yet to be born baby is fine. Some ladies on the website wonder why that is because she said yesterday that she took lots of pills. A back street abortion would be very dangerous. I hope that she is back to normal. It is terrible for her that the health service is all private in South Africa. I had travel insurance when I visited it earlier this year. Thanks for your excellent response.
1 person likes this
@penny64 (1106)
• Australia
19 Mar 09
Wow! It sounds like her posting and the responses helped her get through a really tough moment. There will be more tough times to come, but hopefully now she has seen a doctor, the situation is being monitored. Thanks for sharing this story.
@Yori88 (1468)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Yes I feel sad to because what the lady is experiencing is a traumatic one. I think she might be unlucky with her husband but she should just think of the baby in her womb. It is not right to think just of yourself when you are to become a mom. I was in the same situation before but the difference is my husband is very caring and responsible. He does not have any affair and I am a witness to that. I myself guarantees that fact and I thank God I am very blessed. I may not be ready to be a mom but I just thought of the baby. In her case she really needs help. I guess if the comments that were written in that site does not help (that is if she is hard to convince) then she should seek advice from friends and more importantly family. We all may not know her story but in case she will not listen to our advices despite the trial she is experiencing then let us ask her to deliver the baby and give to an orphanage or someone who could take care of the child (in case she can't support the needs of the baby.) That I think will convince her.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (28559)
• United Kingdom
19 Mar 09
It is difficult for a pregnant lady to find herself in a traumatic time. The lady was so upset when she found out her husband is having an affair that were emotions went wild. She was having a nightmare like time but her baby is still in her womb developing. She took pills she thought would harm her but she stayed fine. She luckily sought professional help. Thanks for your excellent comments.
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
18 Mar 09
I didn't see this discussion, but I desperately hope the lady has found someone to help her, support her and give her some sensible advice. What a horrible situation to find herself in - and I hope she is able to take a deep breath and think of the ramifications of whatever action she chooses to take - it's not something which should be decided in haste, so I hope she has good friends to support her at this time.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (28559)
• United Kingdom
19 Mar 09
Sadly the lady doesn't have many friends so I hope she will talk to her mother. Luckily the professional help is doing wonders to her mind. Hopefully she can look forward to having her baby. It is so right that is a poor idea to make decisions in haste.
@eselmaro (208)
• Philippines
19 Mar 09
This is tough decision. I can say that it is better that she and her husband live now on their own because they might end up hurting each over and over again if they continue. With regards to the baby, it is really her choice what to do. But on my part I rather let the baby live.
@maximax8 (28559)
• United Kingdom
19 Mar 09
She sought professional help and is now going to continue with her pregnancy. she is living alone and her husband has moved in with his fancy woman. I am delighted that her baby is able to live and be born in June of this year.
28 Mar 09
What a horrible situation to be in! It is probably such a bad time( not that any time is good! ) to find out your husband is having an affair and she must feel so low to contemplate her actions! I only hope she gets the help she needs. x
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
24 Mar 09
I think that she is suffering from depression and she needs help. By all means, she should not get an abortion and should not blame her unborn baby for her husband being such a cad. The baby is an innocent. It is not his or her fault. If you belong to this website, maybe you can suggest that she go to a Crisis Pregnancy Center in South Africa if she has no way to care for her baby and also tell her to get some help. It is too bad that the post were stopped, but I guess that is because there were nasty people who encouraged her to get an abortion. '
@Darkwing (21588)
24 Mar 09
Well, I feel a little for her, but she's brought this upon herself to an extent. She's 26 weeks pregnant, and all she can think about is that she's lost her husband... what about the baby? Surely after 26 weeks, she's fairly attached to the child now, but she wanted to be rid of it... why? I don't understand. Why is she so hellbent on ending her life when there's a little person there depending on her being there for it? Does she feel that the child caused the break-up? How long has she been married? What has she done to try and stop her partner leaving her, and is this all a false cry for help? It just doesn't ring true to me, my friend. If the child was conceived in love, and she's 26 weeks down the line, then I can't understand why she hasn't any feelings for the child, and moreover, why she's not ecstatic that the child is ok... blow the husband. If what he wants is to go around planting his seeds in every farm he comes to, then he's not worth the hassle. I say she should seek some counselling and be happy to bring the little newborn into the world, and care for it. It gives her a purpose in life, other than grieving for a no-good excuse for a man, who doesn't deserve her affection. Brightest Blessings, my friend.
@chrislotz (8203)
• Canada
20 Mar 09
That is sad and that poor lady does need help. But she won't get help on the word of other people. It is too bad that she relies on a website to make her choices. But since she is posting something like that on the web than she is begging for help and I hope someone in her family, or her babies family, or a friend or a professional, are able to help her before it is too late. If she is more than 20 weeks and gets an abortion there is a good chance she won't survive especially since she would have to go to the black market to get it done. If she takes an overdose she will also die, not just her baby. I would hope that out of the 50 responses she got, that at least one of them jolts her awake and she gets help. Soooo sad. Alrighty then, talk to you later my friend, Have a good mylotting day, Chris
@bombshell (11266)
• Germany
20 Mar 09
no more travel discussion maxi?hehehe
@1hopefulman (31696)
• Canada
19 Mar 09
I think there is a lack of education and resources to deal with overwhelming distressful situations that come upon us. Society needs a better structure. We need supposrt so that we can weather the storms. The storms are temporary. They pass. The sun will come out again. We need more compassionate understandig family and friends. Very sad when temporary problems overwhelm a person to such a degree that they now want to give up on life. Life goes on! She may meet a better man. The child could add so much joy to her life. Life is worth living no matter what. Every day is not the same. We have good days and bad days. She should not be so quick to throw in the towel.
@iwrite (5041)
• Singapore
19 Mar 09
Well I think it is very sad case, someone better get help to this lady before she does something that she is going to regret. I think the dad is such a jerk. after what the women have done for her, he treats her this way.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
19 Mar 09
If only she posted it here there would be a lot of suggestions and verbal supports she could get. I'm sure mylotters will jump in with responses, although I'm not sure if anyone here lives close to her to actually show up and talk to her. It's enough that financial stress is burdening us, I can't imagine having trust issue while being pregnant on top. Why do people do this to the one they married, I have no clue. If he didn't want to stay, why marry in the first place and have a baby?
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
19 Mar 09
Hi maxine! Oh my, that is terrible! I hope she is feeling a little better or hopefully her husband or any friend, relative could be there for her. This is really sad to know and I hope she will be enlightened with all her respondents on her discussion. I pray that she will see some hope and light. Take care and blessings to you! lovelots..faith
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
19 Mar 09
That is vey sad. I hope this young mother-to-be finds help before she hurts herself or the baby she is carrying. Regardless of what the father did or is doing, she needs to think about that baby and herself before all. I hope that the site managers that read this discussion, tracked her IP address and tried to get her some help or at least called the local authorities and had a wellfare check done on her.
• Philippines
19 Mar 09
I also feel sad about the story, I think she needs to go to the nearest gov't welfare who helps like in her situation, so she would be attended well and they could help her situation.