unwanted guests.......a case study !!!!!

@krajibg (11936)
Guwahati, India
April 11, 2009 10:35am CST
Well, guests are nuisance when they go beyond the line. I mean I have never liked unwanted guests. I do not feel at ease when there are outsiders, I mean the guest at home. I have to change my ways of actions, do this, do that, war an artificial smile all the while and what not. I have to act in the way that does not displease them. Specially I hate guests when they rush into with kids and pets and settle for a week or so. How about you? What is your take on unwanted guests? please share. Rajib. 11.04.09
10 people like this
25 responses
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
12 Apr 09
Hi Rajib, Just before to this discussion, you have started one is that guyes are not learning new new things. Here you are saying that you don't like unwanted guest but do you know that ancient Indian people always said, Guests are like God and they never said that they dont' like unwanted guest. I too believe that guests are like God but at the same time I am not a true believer in God too!
2 people like this
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Hola, sanuanu, my friend I am an atheist first and foremost. Yes it is a part of our culture to welcome guests but individual case is always different. Even if I were in that period I would dislike unwanted guests. Right and there is a difference between collective conscience and individual conscience. hope you got my point now and I have commented back well right?
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
13 Apr 09
collective conscience and individual conscience I didn't get the meaning of it!
@sandymay48 (2031)
• Canada
11 Apr 09
Hi Rajib..great!..That means I can show up to visit with my hubby and 4 kids and 2 grandkids and the neighbours dog and you will just sit and smile??? Well I must tell you that there is nothing phoney about me at all. My house is my home and I will act the same whether there are guests or not. I am who I am, like it or not. If someone decided to stay that I didnt want there, I would politely tell them they had to leave. I do not tolerate disrespectful people or those who take advantage. In fact if anyone invited me to stay for a week at their house, i wouldnt stay, I would stay at a hotel first. I dont like to make bad friends and we all have different ways of doing things. So I have no unwanted guest..only the odd fly!
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Hola Sands! ok, ok mo problem do come you all I will sit all the while and keep on wearing a real smile. The rest is 100% me. I too prefer to stay at hotel than staying at some relative or friend's residence. If it is a case of one day it is ok. As I feel not at ease so others too have similar or different inconvenience is not a remote concept. thanks Sands.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27564)
• United States
11 Apr 09
Hi krajibg! I think that all guests should be announced before arriving. It makes me very uncomfortable to have guests that just pop-in. I don't do that to others and I don't want it done to me. If they let me know ahead of time, I enjoy the company but I don't like to be surprised.
2 people like this
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Yes Jen that is exactly the same with me to. If any guest is to come a prior notification sort of thing is really called for. I can be prepared to accept them at least. Thanks for sharing ...
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
11 Apr 09
Hi krajibg! I know how you feel! I don't like being forced to be nice to people that I really don't want staying in my home either! I would assume that these must be relatives or people that for some reason you are being forced to have to be nice to for some reasons! It is an imposition at best and at worse annoying! But, there are times in our lives that we have to just bit down and to what needs to be done even it does mean being just a bit put out! So if whatever the reason is that you are trying to be kind it will be over with before you know it and you can have your home back again!
2 people like this
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Hi Opal! you guessed it correct. I am never myself when thing come down to imposition. May be what you said is correct and I too need to amend myself to be with the situation. Thanks a lot for responding.
1 person likes this
@katsalot1 (1619)
11 Apr 09
I don't understand why you would have unwanted guests in your home. Do you mean that someone else in your home has invited them, but you don't want them there?
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
11 Apr 09
No not exactly like that. By unwanted guests I wanted to mean the people who are our acquaintance but are not matching type of so far their stay at my home. Now as they come down you can not drive them out, therefore unwanted. Thanks for responding.
2 people like this
@Barb42 (4216)
• United States
11 Apr 09
I've never had that kind of unwanted guests. If someone were to come to my house to spend a week with PETS, especially, without asking, they'd be shown the door. I don't allow pets in my house, not even mine or my kids (who are grown). The only guests I have that might spend a week is my grandkids during the summer. They spend many weeks during the summer, going home for the weekends. They come over to ride their 4 and 3 wheelers, play pool in the basement, and help Papa do the yard work to earn cash.
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
11 Apr 09
Hi Barb! Yes the kind of guests are welcome but when there is an exodus I feel a helluva irritated. Thanks for the response.
2 people like this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
16 Apr 09
Hello, to the wife of krajibg, I am very sorry to hear about your husband. I posted a response a week ago about this. I had an bad WiFi connection, and I am not sure that you received my post. I have posted to many of your husbands discussions. And I have enjoyed doing so. It is great that as his wife you are taking upon your time to post here at myLot. I welcome you here. And now back to your discussion, yes, I feel that I have to be on cue when an unexpected guest arrives unexpectedly. It will make me feel uneasy. If I was not expecting their company, I will feel odd. I would rather people call me first before just showing up to my home. My in laws did this a very lot. They would show up without calling. One day, I was in the process of cooking Sunday dinner and my father and mother in-law showed up to my home. They did this twice and I hated it everytime! I would like to get some kind of alert. If I was to go to her house, I would let them know that I was coming instead of showing up. She don't know what I could have been doing. I could have been doing something private and personal. So, out of respect for another person it is nice to let a person know off hand that you will be paying them a visit. I don't know why people just show up out the blue. And there are times that I will not want any company. So, I know how you feel. Everything changes when you have to entertain unexpected company. I have been down this road so many of times. And, i don't want to keep going down this road anymore.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
16 Apr 09
My father-in-law has even spent the night at my home last year. Because of him having car trouble. And this was a spur of the moment thing.. I disliked it the entire time. He had to sleep on the couch with us. Which was uncomfortable.
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
16 Apr 09
Hello Cream, I am still there alive and kicking ya. That was an April fool's Day and I did so after getting the green signal from my wife. But I should not have done so. I still feel sorry that many of my friends really came to believe it. And regarding your view on the unwanted guests. Yes that alert is what I too want. It is 1'15 at night here. Just one hour ago one of my friends who is a police superintendent dropped in to have a chat and he did inform me before landing up. Thanks for sharing. Rajib. ( Not Rajib's wife ) lol.
2 people like this
@ketybhagat (4125)
• India
16 Apr 09
Actually Ive never experienced any such guest in my life. If anybody come home to stay, they are family and we have a gala time. I can understand how you must be feeling with guest you have not invited and they land up at your doorstep with kids and pets !!!! Holy God. What more. It must be frustrating for you, and I sure sympathise with you.
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
16 Apr 09
Hi Kety, yes you visualises it right. That is the condition when unwanted guest pop in. Thank you for the response.
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@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
14 Apr 09
My grandfather had a saying: "Guests are like fish, they start to stink after three days". I don't understand what kind of unwanted guests you have. In any case, any guests at my house usually ask if it is convenient to visit and tell me upfront how many days they are planning to stay. If I am doing something else during those days I tell them right then that they are welcome to come but on such and such a day I already have other plans for dinner or the day and they will be on their own. If it is not convenient at all I tell them I would love their visit but at this time it would be too difficult. Maybe another time. Try that approach so you don't have to force a smile and fake interest in your guests.
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
14 Apr 09
OMG! yes that is the real. Therefore I never stay more than a night at any relative. Rather I would step in a hotel than become a stinking fish.lol. Those who are not so much in good book, those who I know are just opportunist, those relatives who I do not like for one or the other reason, and those who drop in without prior information. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@rashmie (948)
• United Arab Emirates
14 Apr 09
Unwanted guests are always wanted at my place. There is no problem, whatsoever it may be, with unwanted guests. Just reverse the order, how will you feel when no one has visited your sacred dwelling for long. I think it would be a bad experience. Even when I was alone in Delhi, unwanted guests, off course trusted in this case, are always wanted. As for me, it is not my prerogative to decide whether I should become an unwanted guest or not.
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@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
14 Apr 09
Hello Rashmie, Just curious, were you at ibibo too? Well you are a different species lol. Actually by unwanted I wanted to mean those who you are not so in good book and know they are just opportunist and secondly just acquainted ones. Do not you have to be a helluva formal with them? No dear I am not the kind... Thanks a lot still...
1 person likes this
@carpenter5 (6786)
• United States
12 Apr 09
I can't imagine going on someone for any length of time without any notice at all! How terrible that is! I have been known to drop by a friends house for a few minutes if I'm in the neighborhood but to bring suitcases and prepare to stay? I don't even do that to my mother!
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@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
14 Apr 09
Hi there, the same is with me too. I hardly stay more than a night if I am to o to my relatives' places. On the first place I do not feel comfy myself and do not want to make others feel uncomfortable either. Thanks for sharing
1 person likes this
@coolmailraj (2461)
• India
12 Apr 09
Hi. Gosh I never had that kind of guests till date. Some of my relatives have lived in my house for weeks and for months even but they all are really sweet people. I wish it remains same forever.
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@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Hello Raj, if that sort of guest are there you do not feel for they make a part of the family but some other kinds are there who suddenly pops in and make you all uncomfortable. Thanks for the response.
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@abuelin (106)
• Chile
12 Apr 09
guests are acceptable but I think you should improve your relationship with them so that they are not "unwanted by you"
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@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Hi there, you are right I guess. in an improved relation situation the phrase "unwanted guest" would not apply. Thanks a lot for the response.
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@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
12 Apr 09
Oh I also hate unwanted guests. I find them a bother to my normal ways if I have them staying in my house. That's why I always put a distance in my relationship with friends so as to avoid too much closeness. Not that I don't want them to feel unwelcome but just a precaution. I also don't go to my friend's houses often or be too close to them. I don't ask favors as much as possible so they won't ask favors to me too, like staying in my house and other matters. But I am friendly and helpful if I do know that my friend needs true help. It's just that I don't want my friends to take advantage of me. That's why I try to put a distance in our friendship. Ciao!
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Hi iskayz, this is exactly same with me too. I too do not like to annoy people with a sudden dropping nor I would like you. Yes there are times when you are welcome but all of a sudden appearance is not expected. thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
12 Apr 09
One of my pet hates is people who drop into my house announced and expect me to stop whatever it is I may be doing and entertain them. A friend of mine had a habit of doing just that especially at any time of the night and when I mentioned it to her that I didn't like it she said, "But that's what friends do!" to which I replied, "I'm sorry I thought friends respected each other's time and space!" We had a couple who stayed with us for two weeks and didn't seem to have any plans to move on by the fourteenth day. They weren't too respectful of my house while they were there and I did decide to eventually ask them to leave; it wasn't easy to do but aside from the intrusion I didn't feel I could be totally myself while they were there. I can't imagine dropping in on people unexpectedly or overstaying my welcome!
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Hi Paula! So you too? none can blame us for not entertaining not so likable or adorable gusts and the event that went was too much for you to stand. Even me too can not be all myself when guests are around. Besides life is nor all formality. It has its limit after all. Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@katkat (2379)
• Philippines
12 Apr 09
I can relate to your opinions. I am also not too keen with guest especially if I knew too well that we have an opposite personality. Even with my friends, I want them to inform if they are going to visit because I wanted to be prepared. I don't like surprises when it comes to guest.
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Hi karkat, you are right, if you are to come, do come with prior information or do not blame me that I did not well treat you for I am too busy a person. Nice response. thank you very much for responding.
1 person likes this
• China
12 Apr 09
Yes those unwanted guests are annoying. But most of time I just need to be polite and say hello(I at least have to do this, otherwise my parents will get SO mad!), then leave the rest to my parents. However, I do have an unforgettable experience with them.;p It was years ago when I was still in high school. My aunt popped in with her 4 month old baby while my parents went out for shipping. Suddenly, the baby peed on our floor! I had no choice but to mop it. I felt like dying at that moment. lol I cant imagine what it would be like after I have a house on my own, and have to deal with those situations all by myself.
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@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Hi there, I just could not stop a laughter reading your detail of the annoyance when such guest are around. thank you for responding.
1 person likes this
• China
12 Apr 09
I do not like unwanted guests too. They may cause a lot of trouble if they stay in my house. Also I have to watch out when I am doing things. I have to change my usual way of living. This can really cause a lot of inconvenience. fortunately I do not have so many unwanted guests in my daily life. The reason for this dislike is that we may share different living style. We may get problems sometimes.
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Hi there, there we share the same view. There is a question of your convenience and inconvenience and your state of being. Otherwise off and on we can accommodate some but if it is a regular issue it is too much. Thanks a lot for sharing.
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@bdayboy09 (153)
• Philippines
12 Apr 09
Well, we have the same opinion about it. I don't want them in the house, but I don't want to embarrass them or shoo them away when they're in the house. It's too hard to confront them, especially when they're your relatives. :p
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@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Hi there, you are right when they happen to be your relative but you were not prepared to welcome them but can not get them go is a real annoying moment. This is not that we or say I do nor like them but there is a question of your convenience and inconvenience. thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
12 Apr 09
Guest are sometimes acceptable when the come to my house without informing. but it depends on whom they are. I would not like if a guest that I do not really feel comfortable walks in without informing. I do not like people staying in my house for weeks. It will make me completely annoyed. Maybe a night can be tolerated. They can be more than a nuisance if they go beyond their lines. I am always afraid if I happen to lose my patients on them. As of till now, never had any terribly annoying experience. And hope not to have one in future. Regards Thanusha
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
12 Apr 09
Hello thanusha, yes if one night story it is there is no problem but a week or still more than that would annoy for with some guest you have to remain glued and you have your jobs to accomplish. Besides those stepping in without informing beforehand are more cumbersome I fuel. thanks for sharing.
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