unwanted guests.......a case study !!!!!

Hi Rajib, Just before to this discussion, you have started one is that guyes are not learning new new things. Here you are saying that you don't like unwanted guest but do you know that ancient Indian people always said, Guests are like God and they never said that they dont' like unwanted guest. I too believe that guests are like God but at the same time I am not a true believer in God too!

Hi Rajib..great!..That means I can show up to visit with my hubby and 4 kids and 2 grandkids and the neighbours dog and you will just sit and smile??? Well I must tell you that there is nothing phoney about me at all. My house is my home and I will act the same whether there are guests or not. I am who I am, like it or not. If someone decided to stay that I didnt want there, I would politely tell them they had to leave. I do not tolerate disrespectful people or those who take advantage. In fact if anyone invited me to stay for a week at their house, i wouldnt stay, I would stay at a hotel first. I dont like to make bad friends and we all have different ways of doing things. So I have no unwanted guest..only the odd fly!

I've never had that kind of unwanted guests. If someone were to come to my house to spend a week with PETS, especially, without asking, they'd be shown the door. I don't allow pets in my house, not even mine or my kids (who are grown). The only guests I have that might spend a week is my grandkids during the summer. They spend many weeks during the summer, going home for the weekends. They come over to ride their 4 and 3 wheelers, play pool in the basement, and help Papa do the yard work to earn cash.

Hi krajibg! I know how you feel! I don't like being forced to be nice to people that I really don't want staying in my home either! I would assume that these must be relatives or people that for some reason you are being forced to have to be nice to for some reasons! It is an imposition at best and at worse annoying! But, there are times in our lives that we have to just bit down and to what needs to be done even it does mean being just a bit put out! So if whatever the reason is that you are trying to be kind it will be over with before you know it and you can have your home back again!

Hi krajibg! I think that all guests should be announced before arriving. It makes me very uncomfortable to have guests that just pop-in. I don't do that to others and I don't want it done to me. If they let me know ahead of time, I enjoy the company but I don't like to be surprised.

I don't understand why you would have unwanted guests in your home. Do you mean that someone else in your home has invited them, but you don't want them there?

My grandfather had a saying: "Guests are like fish, they start to stink after three days". I don't understand what kind of unwanted guests you have. In any case, any guests at my house usually ask if it is convenient to visit and tell me upfront how many days they are planning to stay. If I am doing something else during those days I tell them right then that they are welcome to come but on such and such a day I already have other plans for dinner or the day and they will be on their own. If it is not convenient at all I tell them I would love their visit but at this time it would be too difficult. Maybe another time. Try that approach so you don't have to force a smile and fake interest in your guests.

I can't imagine going on someone for any length of time without any notice at all! How terrible that is! I have been known to drop by a friends house for a few minutes if I'm in the neighborhood but to bring suitcases and prepare to stay? I don't even do that to my mother!

Hi. Gosh I never had that kind of guests till date. Some of my relatives have lived in my house for weeks and for months even but they all are really sweet people. I wish it remains same forever.

Actually Ive never experienced any such guest in my life. If anybody come home to stay, they are family and we have a gala time. I can understand how you must be feeling with guest you have not invited and they land up at your doorstep with kids and pets !!!! Holy God. What more. It must be frustrating for you, and I sure sympathise with you.

Hello, to the wife of krajibg, I am very sorry to hear about your husband. I posted a response a week ago about this. I had an bad WiFi connection, and I am not sure that you received my post. I have posted to many of your husbands discussions. And I have enjoyed doing so. It is great that as his wife you are taking upon your time to post here at myLot. I welcome you here. And now back to your discussion, yes, I feel that I have to be on cue when an unexpected guest arrives unexpectedly. It will make me feel uneasy. If I was not expecting their company, I will feel odd. I would rather people call me first before just showing up to my home. My in laws did this a very lot. They would show up without calling. One day, I was in the process of cooking Sunday dinner and my father and mother in-law showed up to my home. They did this twice and I hated it everytime! I would like to get some kind of alert. If I was to go to her house, I would let them know that I was coming instead of showing up. She don't know what I could have been doing. I could have been doing something private and personal. So, out of respect for another person it is nice to let a person know off hand that you will be paying them a visit. I don't know why people just show up out the blue. And there are times that I will not want any company. So, I know how you feel. Everything changes when you have to entertain unexpected company. I have been down this road so many of times. And, i don't want to keep going down this road anymore.

Oh I also hate unwanted guests. I find them a bother to my normal ways if I have them staying in my house. That's why I always put a distance in my relationship with friends so as to avoid too much closeness. Not that I don't want them to feel unwelcome but just a precaution. I also don't go to my friend's houses often or be too close to them. I don't ask favors as much as possible so they won't ask favors to me too, like staying in my house and other matters. But I am friendly and helpful if I do know that my friend needs true help. It's just that I don't want my friends to take advantage of me. That's why I try to put a distance in our friendship. Ciao!

Unwanted guests are always wanted at my place. There is no problem, whatsoever it may be, with unwanted guests. Just reverse the order, how will you feel when no one has visited your sacred dwelling for long. I think it would be a bad experience. Even when I was alone in Delhi, unwanted guests, off course trusted in this case, are always wanted. As for me, it is not my prerogative to decide whether I should become an unwanted guest or not.

guests are acceptable but I think you should improve your relationship with them so that they are not "unwanted by you"

Well, we have the same opinion about it. I don't want them in the house, but I don't want to embarrass them or shoo them away when they're in the house. It's too hard to confront them, especially when they're your relatives. :p

I can relate to your opinions. I am also not too keen with guest especially if I knew too well that we have an opposite personality. Even with my friends, I want them to inform if they are going to visit because I wanted to be prepared. I don't like surprises when it comes to guest.

One of my pet hates is people who drop into my house announced and expect me to stop whatever it is I may be doing and entertain them. A friend of mine had a habit of doing just that especially at any time of the night and when I mentioned it to her that I didn't like it she said, "But that's what friends do!" to which I replied, "I'm sorry I thought friends respected each other's time and space!" We had a couple who stayed with us for two weeks and didn't seem to have any plans to move on by the fourteenth day. They weren't too respectful of my house while they were there and I did decide to eventually ask them to leave; it wasn't easy to do but aside from the intrusion I didn't feel I could be totally myself while they were there. I can't imagine dropping in on people unexpectedly or overstaying my welcome!

I do not like unwanted guests too. They may cause a lot of trouble if they stay in my house. Also I have to watch out when I am doing things. I have to change my usual way of living. This can really cause a lot of inconvenience. fortunately I do not have so many unwanted guests in my daily life. The reason for this dislike is that we may share different living style. We may get problems sometimes.

Yes those unwanted guests are annoying. But most of time I just need to be polite and say hello(I at least have to do this, otherwise my parents will get SO mad!), then leave the rest to my parents. However, I do have an unforgettable experience with them.;p It was years ago when I was still in high school. My aunt popped in with her 4 month old baby while my parents went out for shipping. Suddenly, the baby peed on our floor! I had no choice but to mop it. I felt like dying at that moment. lol I cant imagine what it would be like after I have a house on my own, and have to deal with those situations all by myself.

Guest are sometimes acceptable when the come to my house without informing. but it depends on whom they are. I would not like if a guest that I do not really feel comfortable walks in without informing. I do not like people staying in my house for weeks. It will make me completely annoyed. Maybe a night can be tolerated. They can be more than a nuisance if they go beyond their lines. I am always afraid if I happen to lose my patients on them. As of till now, never had any terribly annoying experience. And hope not to have one in future. Regards Thanusha