Mixed feelings about a funeral...

@reinydawn (11649)
United States
April 26, 2009 9:36pm CST
This has been a very strange weekend, and will prove to be an even stranger week. Saturday morning, my sister called me to tell me that my mother, who was visiting our grandmother, called my sister while she was at work. That put her on alert because our grandmother's health has been failing for a long time and we're always dreading this phone call. Well, what we were worried about wasn't what happened. My mother had gotten a call that her boyfriend had passed away Friday night. We were all very shocked - kinda.... This man has survived 2 different kinds of cancers and was doing very well the last few months. Although he had part of his lung removed last fall because of cancer, he was almost back to normal here lately. No one really knows what happened, only that his son was worried that he couldn't get in touch with him Saturday morning and went to his house and found him "sleeping" in his chair. So, my mother came home to find out what was going to happen. I've spent most of the weekend at her house, making sure she was ok and all. She had been pretty exclusive with this man for probably 15 years, although they've been an "item" much longer than that. I had definitely planned on going to at least one of the veiwings, and figured I should go to the funeral also, even though he wasn't my step-father or even a father-figure. I just wanted to be there for my mom. Well, the funeral is a couple hours drive and it's on a weekday. I'll have to take the entire day off work and most of the day will be in the car driving to and from the funeral. When I first found out it was going to be held out of state, I wasn't going to go. But, the look my mom gave me and the way she kinda sighed about it, I knew I needed to go the whole way for her. So, Tuesday night is the veiwing - my sister will be saying some words for him - and Thursday afternoon is the funeral. It is going to be really strange thinking of our family reunions and stuff without him there. I'm really not sure how my mom will deal with this, but I think it's important that she know we're all here for her.
6 people like this
6 responses
@rsa101 (15530)
• Quezon City, Philippines
27 Apr 09
I guess it is indeed a sad note that the least expected to pass away are the ones that go away. Well that is really important for you to do for your mother. I guess you really should be there to support her and pay your last respect to your let just say father figure.
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
27 Apr 09
I was just really hoping that they'd have everything here, and not 2 hours away. It will be a little bit awkward, but it's only for one day.
@GardenGerty (102525)
• United States
27 Apr 09
That was a strange thing to have happen, but it may be a blessing he went this way. Your poor mom. I am glad that you can take the day off and be there for her. I hope all goes well, and your mom has the strenghth and support she needs right now.
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
27 Apr 09
Thank you. We're pretty worried about what's going to happen in the next few weeks though... He's pretty much been around all the time since he's been sick. Now it's like she'll be alone and we're just not sure how she's going to deal with it. My sister lives with her so she'll be able to keep an eye on things to let us all know what's going on.
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
27 Apr 09
You are right, your mother needs you right now. She lost a man that has been a part of her life and your family for so long. My condolences to you and her and everyone else. Family is important and being by each other when needed is worth so much to the ones that need you.
1 person likes this
@dmrone (751)
• United States
27 Apr 09
I can understand the mixed feelings. It is great that your mom has her children there for her.
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
28 Apr 09
Thanks. So far she's handling it pretty well, I just think tomorrow at the veiwings is going to be really hard for her.
@elemental69 (1562)
• Ireland
27 Apr 09
I am very sorry to hear of your mothers loss. I am sure that she is in great shock, as I am sure you all are. My thoughts are with you at this hard time. xxx
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
27 Apr 09
Thank you. We're kinda waiting for my mom to fall apart, she's just kinda dazed about it. I know when she goes to the viewing it will really hit home with her. I won't be able to go to the early viewing, although I probably should...
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
27 Apr 09
It would be hard to deal with having been with him for that long i'm sure. I hope everything goes as well as it can and that She's ok. I hope your grandma is ok too!
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
27 Apr 09
Thank you. It was kinda funny about my grandmother because she's in very poor health and really doesn't always know what's going on around her, but she was asking my mom if she could do anything to help her.