do you have a friend who always borrows money and never pay?

@cainam (493)
Philippines
May 19, 2009 9:20pm CST
i have a friend. we know each other since kinder garten and we're still friend now that we're already 25 years old. i can't hardly remember the last time that we argue.but she has this bad habit of borrowing money but not paying even she has money to pay. she is doing this also to other people aside form me.i can no longer tolerate her but i don't know how to approach her without offendinfg her coz she's really sensitive.i wonder how did a manage to be her friend.
5 people like this
40 responses
• Philippines
20 May 09
I have some friend who borrow money to me. Sometimes when I'm not asking them about it they wont pay me. If I know that they have money I asked them. Like if i saw them buy a thing like clothes or other stuff. I would ask them if they already have money cause I need it now. If they will say that she still doesnt have, I ask her where she get the money she used to buy the things. I'll just say it in a nice way and in a joking manner. I know she would feel embarrased at me buy I'll let her feel that its okay I just need the money. We are friends so she better understand my situation. And she been there already that why she lend money to me so she should know how it feels like if you dont have any money. I let them feel that I need the money so badly.
• Philippines
20 May 09
I mean, she been there already that why she borrowed money to me. Lolz!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 May 09
I hardly think that she is sensitive. I think she is more of a user and this is her way of avoiding being confronted. In any case, you may be out of past money lent but the next time she would ask me for some money, I would tell you that I can't give her any money because I have bills to pay and then ask her if she could lend you some! It will be interesting to witness her reaction.
• Philippines
20 May 09
Yes, I have friends like that..borrowing but never return... I usually ask them about it and if they didn't pay. I teach them a good lesson but in a nice way like for example, if u want to make good and best of friends, then we have to commit that and you know that I don't make a lot of money and I really need it badly. So, I hope you can return the money what you owe me... I am helping you enough but please do me a favor..something like that... it really works for me.. Your situation is similar to mine. Talk in an assertive way..Try it in different strategy...Goodluck.
@turones (206)
• Philippines
20 May 09
Money is indeed a very powerful thing. It could easily ruin a relationship between friends and even family members if one will not be very careful in handling the situation. What's important is that you should never let this happen to you. You can talk to her in a very nice manner because this is the only way to settle this issue. I'm not saying that it's ok to hurt her feelings but you should also consider your own feelings about this.
2 people like this
@cili82 (32)
• Malaysia
20 May 09
i also have one friend like this...actually quite many people like this..Someone like this we'll forget us when he got money or very happy but find us when in trouble..and i in dilemma of choosing whether friend or money..?it can be annoying you know..
@babyorchid (1739)
• China
20 May 09
em..not so.but i have one friend who is used to ask money from me but never return me back. i asked him many times,but he turned very unhappy, his words to me is so cold like i owe he lots money. omg..i asked many times, after that he still only pay my half my debt. and fianly i give up.... i think i wont make such friend any more..
1 person likes this
@paoxav (1382)
• Philippines
20 May 09
Yes there are some. Well if they can't or don't pay, it would be fine for me but they can never borrow any more amount from me again..
1 person likes this
@zzyw87 (1260)
• Philippines
20 May 09
I hate those kinds of people. I also have a handful of friends who always borrow things and money from me but never return them. I have one friend who always gives lame excuses just to be able to borrow money from me. For example, she will say when the bill arrives after dinner that she does not have the exact amount or that she has a $100 and has no change. Then she will say maybe I can pay her share first then she will just pay me back. Then she always conveniently "forgets" to pay me back when we meet again. It happened three times already. I did not tolerate this anymore so I told her that we should just have separate bills.
1 person likes this
@eweible (15)
• United States
20 May 09
i usuallyam the firend whose low on cash. most of my friends will lend me money without asking to be paid back. often i try to do things for them, like give them things or do chores or help them to make up for it. i dont like taking peoples money or being in debt, but many of my friends make me take their money.
1 person likes this
@coon123 (14)
• China
20 May 09
keeping one's words is vey important for a person ,if you can't get others' trust,it means you are a failure i hope this dicussion can be seen by one of my friends as cainam discribed
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
20 May 09
Yap i think your friend have bad habit, because best friend never push friend's it's that right? I know you are confuse because she is sensitive, my opinion are: number one you must speak up, you must say what do you feel about her. especially about her habit. many people think silent is golden but if you do this for a long time,you can lose your golden hehehe....XP... second,you must tell her about your condition like you don't have any money, etc.third you can leave her...because i see that you and your friend = are not true friend, I am sorry if response like this,because I ever have condition like this of course,... i hope you can think more...
• Philippines
20 May 09
I have a friend who is like that before. They borrow and never pays. Maybe the have forgot to pay or forgot that they have owe me some money. And with that experience I have learn my lessons. That's why now I don't allow people to lend a money from me because I am afraid that they wont pay me.
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
20 May 09
Never lend money that you will miss, especially whe it involves family or friends. That is something my Grandfather taught me years ago. That said, if you want her to stop borrowing from you, or have a chance that she will pay you back, first, start telling her that you don't have it to lend. If she keeps asking, tell her that you would be more than happy to help her once she pays back the debt she already owes you.
1 person likes this
• China
20 May 09
i have some friends like this around me,i so hate the bad habit,especially i was a student.my roommate borrowed money from me,but they always forget it,i feel if i remind her,it will cause our relationship embarress,i dont want to like this,so i always bear it.but i will never lend her any way
1 person likes this
@prinzcy (5049)
• Malaysia
20 May 09
No, I never have such friend. Probably due to that I am always broke that they hardly borrow any money from me. Even if they do borrow sometimes, they usually pay more than the real amount. It's not like I put any interest for the payment, it's in their nature. They said it's natural to do that since I already good enough to lend them the money. So if I borrow any money from them, I also pay more than the amount.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 May 09
Good thing I don't have a friend who's like your friend - borrows money and forgets to pay. But I have a small business which I informed my co-workers of. Some of them buy and pay on the same day, but there were others who do otherwise. Probably because it slipped their mind, or maybe because they;re doing a lot of things at that time or something. Anyway, what I do is, I remind them before the end of the day that they haven't paid me yet. I think it's easier to ask someone to pay up if that someone is not really a friend. If I'm in your case, I would remind her of her debt, especially if I know that she's got money. I don't think it would be a problem. Besides, if she's really sensitive then she should know that she would lose friends if she goes on with her bad habit, of not paying her debt. She should be ashamed of herself.
@spalladino (17924)
• United States
20 May 09
First of all you have to start telling her "no" when she asks to borrow money from you. When she asks you why you're saying "no" be honest and tell her that she never pays you back so you're not lending to her anymore. If she gets upset, let her. She's not a child. She knows that when you borrow money, you're expected to return it.
1 person likes this
@Bradpete (822)
• Philippines
20 May 09
Yes, they keep on promise and tell a lie, or do some delaying tactics. Some paid in long time. Others just wrote in water. I forgive those people and they are hesitant to lean money from me again.
1 person likes this
@patms1 (522)
• United States
20 May 09
Not for long. If they are my friend the would pay me back. I am not a bank and would be very angry if some one thought so little of me that they had no problem taking money from me and not paying it back. This is not a friend, this is a leech. do yourself a favor and tell her if she does not start paying you back you are taking her to court. One of two things will happen. She will give you money or you will never see her again. Either way you win.
@patms1 (522)
• United States
20 May 09
P.S. she's not to sensitive to ask for the money. Sorry dear, you are being used.
@jambi462 (4598)
• United States
14 Jun 09
Yeah I have a couple of friends that are like that but it's not really a big deal to me because money is just green paper to me that only has some kind of value because that's what we give it. I think that friendship is worth much more then any amount of money and I'm not going to get angry and chance losing a friend over some amount of money that they owe me.