Im hurt!

Philippines
July 19, 2009 11:58pm CST
i believe that long distance relationship works. i had this indian bf for almost a year and a half. from the start i am so open to him, me also to me but recently i just found out that he is having a wife and children. it hurts me a lot because i have started loving this man. for so many times he had shown his love for me quality time chatting on cam, he sent me things, he helped me financially when i found out i felt lost and hurt. now i dont know where i will start my life. together we dream of our future but i am in doubt about it. hope you can share your ideas and your perspective on this. shall i continue having this relationship or not.
4 people like this
23 responses
@jerzgirl (7821)
• Gloucester City, New Jersey
20 Jul 09
Anyone who is dishonest from the start about themselves isn't going to be trustworthy later in the relationship. You're best to find out now rather than later. As hard as it will be, you need to stay away from someone who would deceive you in such a way. He is also deceiving her. He would quite possibly do the same thing to you later if he left her for you. It's not worth finding out. You're better off alone than with this man.
@ds6413 (2073)
• United States
20 Jul 09
Hello, I agree with the first two. He is married and has children.Not a good thing to continue a relationship because he is already taken.It should show he doesn't think too much of the people that he is supposed to be the closest to.Walking away would be a good idea.
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
yes i know that, im trying but i am doing it little by little i admit that i have also fallen in love with this guy. sad but reality is he have touched my heart.
@ds6413 (2073)
• United States
31 Aug 09
I had been involved with someone who was already taken. I knew it right right off from the start. I broke it off when he was getting too involved. I was not going to tear apart his family even though he eventually filed for divorce. I knew if he cheated with me he would cheat on me. It could have been messy.
@allie4712 (132)
• United States
20 Jul 09
Move on and never get involed with someone on the internet agian. You never know what's truly going on on the otherside of that computer. Unless you truly know someone in person or meet someone online and go see them and you see the fact they are telling the truth then that's cool. I don't trust anyone online unless I've known them for a while. I meet a guy online once and known him for about 6 years fell in love with him and then he told me he was going to join the army and take me out of here. 3 weeks later he won't even talk to me.
• India
20 Jul 09
ya you are true,, dont trust on internet friends so fast except you meet them or talk them,, u r also a true lover!!! i think that now there is no true lover in the world,, but no i m false,, i feel very glad to see true lover,,,
@rsa101 (13337)
• Philippines
20 Jul 09
I think you should start moving on. You now have learned a lesson that it is really hard to trust people on the net. You should base love on reality not on virutal love affairs. I really think that virtual love affairs is really a risky way to deal with since you can become someone who is not you at all and funny that many people fall trap into that.
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
yes i have moved on. i already accepted that this is the reality of my life. i know someday i will be ok as in ok as i am before. i know all wounds need time to heal. to be fare with him i know he also invested time efforts and money for me. at some point i knew that he loved me so much. but anyway all of those are only part of the past.
• United States
20 Jul 09
If he has a wife and child then I would for sure move on babe. There are better fish in the sea for ya.
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
you are right thank you for the comforting words.
• China
21 Jul 09
Of course you should not. One of my friends said that, if you found you've done something wrong, you stop and it's advance. Now you should ask yourself: Does he really love me? Can he depart with her wife and marry me? What if his child doesn't love me? I noticed that you love him very much, but the relationship between you and he is unequal, he was cheating you on some degree, maybe he just likes you, or he is pursuing some fun and excitement. Don't be fooled, please stop. TO be realistic and find a guy who really loves you. I hope you could stop hurting yourself. Protect your heart. Good luck to you! :)
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
20 Jul 09
in a way it's good to find out about his status now than later he helped you financially and sent you things but when you live together under the same roof, do you really believe he will keep showering you with gifts and love? it's better that you know his true colors now than too late I had bad experiences online too but I kept going looking for love I found him and we've been married for almost 9 yrs it's hard to get over a betrayal but it's not impossible pick up pieces of your heart, tape them into one, keep looking one day you will find love again, the wound will heal
@steelkhan (179)
• Sharjah, United Arab Emirates
20 Jul 09
i think you are not a fool to continue this relationship and please dont continue it what ever excuse he gives you and about that man who did this to you i know one day he will suffer more then you are suffring today. try going out and meet your family and friends in a few weeks you wont even remember his name.
@Bootsy79 (45)
• Germany
20 Jul 09
Oh dear, it is a very hard to decide. The problem is, i think you prob. know it...he is married. So is he borred of his wife or does he still love her? Ask him. But don`t go on being the "second part" in his life. It will make you unhappy! Important thing is YOU! Once he has decided to love his wife. Then he meet you and enjoyed you. You shared a part of your life with him. Have you just been a toy or does he really love you? The bad thing is, it is his decition. LET HIM DECIDE but don`t be just the second part. Remember...this is YOUR life and YOUR time! GOOD LUCK LADY
@mohak123 (104)
• India
20 Jul 09
thats what exactly happened to my best friend once she was heart broken for many dayz but she moved on. now she has a bf and she is very happy with her new relationship.
@mermaidivy (15417)
• United States
20 Jul 09
I am sorry to hear that... May I know how you and your boyfriend met? I used to have a long distance relationship with my husband too, we remained our relationship for more than a year, then we started to do something to make us really together. I can tell you it is not easy I'm sure you know that too... I think it is quite bad for your boyfriend to be doing that to you while he is married... he shouldn't meet you the first place because he is married; I think I would suggest you to stop this and look for something better for yourself.
• United States
20 Jul 09
He lied to you and betrayed you. You can't trust a man that would lie about something so important or who would treat his family like that. Think about his wife and kids. I feel sorry for them. You are lucky you were not married to him. What he did to both of you I think is unforgivable. You don't want someone like that in your life. If you continue the relationship you will be the other woman. Ask yourself if that is what you want for yourself! Do you really want that title? It is your choice but I would cut my losses and calk it up to spilt milk. You have a wonderful chance to start your life over and that is how I would look at. As a wonderful chance!
• Philippines
20 Jul 09
I believe the only course of action there is for you to move on with your life, despite the fact that he supported you financially. you obviously can't afford to be with some one who has sliced of his heart to some one else and 100% committed because he has wife and children. just move on, at least you can find some on else better. and always be on guard.
@kevchua (1004)
• Malaysia
20 Jul 09
Hi roselynm, you're one of those women who have been victimised by irresponsible men who are truly perverts. Your "love" for him might be "real" but he certainly doesn't feel the same for you. He merely WANTS you to fulfill his dreams, whatever they may be. So, it's wise that you retract from the claws of this beast and go your own way. There are many fishes in this wide ocean, and I believe one day, you will catch a suitable fish, and you'll be glad that you didn't go on with this meaningless relationship. Don't hang on to something that troubles you. Let it go, forget about it and move on. Take care, and hope you'll make a good decision. Cheers!
• Philippines
20 Jul 09
Hi Roselyn, sad to hear your story. Please don't hope on a relationship that has been so unfair. He was just fooling you and he showered you everything just to get your attention and love. But it is not worth it if he is already married, just think also of the wife and kids he is also fooling them. Call it anything but his justification is all in vain. He is just sinning for his being unfaithful. There are more men around. Love will come at the right time. I am married to an Indian and before we got married, i really have to know his family and friends first. I was talking with his parents on the phone, we exchange mails and emails and gifts. We have been sweethearts for 4 years. I really am so careful because long distance relationship is not that easy. By the time my bf went to Philippines and met my family and relatives, we got engaged for 7 months before we decided to get married. We didn't rush anything so that we know each other very well. We got married in 2006 and it was like yesterday when we met, we are feeling like kids and happy in love. I thanked God for him and he does too. We are both Christian and I am so happy that everyday we are living by God's grace and mercy as we obey His will for us daily.
• China
20 Jul 09
Believe me, you will find a better man in the future...He was not honest enough,was he?
• India
20 Jul 09
Hi rose,, I am also an Indian i think some people like ur bf,, makes us image bad. Not at all boys are like this,, some are good and bad also. I believe that you brake this type of relations that hurts you and your feelings. Love is not a joke i know i also love a girl,, but i cant tell her that i love her!! i really hurts. Dont believe in any person without seen them physically. When we talk someone we understand the nature of person what type of person is,, i only suggest dont make this type of logical virtual relations its no meaning.. I know the feelings when heart brake in millions of small pieces. It can make person cry. So plz dont take tension share your feelings with some best friend it can make able to take positive decision..
@neildc (17259)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
20 Jul 09
Hi. Since you have discovered the truth that your boyfriend has already a family, I would suggest to forget about him and move on with your life. I know there are lots of singles out there and you just need to search more.
@silverglint (2001)
• Philippines
20 Jul 09
I don't think you should continue the relationship. He was not completely honest with you and a relationship that does not exist on trust will not survive. Can you honestly say that you are willing to trust him again? besides, what can he offer you? he is married and with kids. There are so many other men out there that are single. Better start moving on, it could be a lot easier because of the distance. You simply do not communicate with him online anymore.
• Jamaica
20 Jul 09
Hello roselynm1023, Obviously this guy was not on the same page as you were, as he already has a wife and family! I do not think you should continue the relationship, as it already shows he cannot be trusted. This is the main reason why I think that long distance relationships can never work! All the "quality time" you spend chatting and talking on the internet to me does not really mean much, as it can never make up for lost physical time together. You also have no idea of what the person is doing when he or she is alone in their country. Don't feel hurt though, you're not the first and definitely not the last. Good luck and happy myLotting!