This man should not speak...

Pregnancy - Pregnant woman
@paula27661 (15899)
Australia
July 24, 2009 4:20am CST
There is a British midwife called Dr Denis Walsh. He is a man and a midwife, nothing wrong with that right? Not at all, in fact I am sure that he is a very good midwife...Until he opens his mouth! Dr Walsh has made statements claiming that women who take drugs or have epidurals during child birth are “Taking the easy way out”. Wait...There’s more...This lovely man who, because he is a man has never given birth, believes that it is only after enduring the intense pain of childbirth that a woman can properly bond with her baby. Do you believe this guy? In reply to the argument that the pain can at times be unbearable he suggests using yoga, hypnosis or massage for relief instead of medication. This is a link to an article titled “Brave man tells women in labour to toughen up because pain relief is for wussbags.” http://mamamia.com.au/weblog/2009/07/male-midwife-tells-women-in-labour-to-harden-the-f-up-and-that-pain-relief-is-for-wussbags/comments/page/15/ NOTE: NOT A REFERRAL LINK I have a daughter and she was born by caesarean; it was not my choice to have the operation but it would have been dangerous for her to arrive in any other way. I had an epidural so that I could be awake for the experience and for that I am thankful because I was able to see her as soon as she was taken out of me. I bonded with my baby immediately even though the birth itself was relatively painless, at least until the drugs wore off! I say Dr Walsh should not speak again until he has something valuable to say or grows a uterus. What do you think?
2 people like this
11 responses
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
24 Jul 09
Hi Paula! I do not agree with the statement of Dr. Walsh. I believe that bonding between a child and mother has nothing to do with the method of delivery either its natural or otherwise. No relation could be as strong as mother-child.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
24 Jul 09
That is exactly how I feel deepak, thanks for responding.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
24 Jul 09
Paula! It is my pleasure!
@AmbiePam (49102)
• United States
24 Jul 09
Okay, who wants to shoot him? Anyone? 'Cause I'm thinking I'd be willing to consider it...
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
24 Jul 09
Me first! He doesn't know...He is a doctor but trust me, he doesn't know! Thanks Pam!
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
25 Jul 09
Me too!
@maximax8 (28247)
• United Kingdom
13 Sep 09
I had my teenage son using water plus gas and air. I didn't have any pain relief with my toddler son or my baby daughter. Strong contractions are very painful. The last part of the first stage before the baby is born is like agony. The male midwife had no idea what he is talking about. Most ladies bond with their baby straight away.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
14 Sep 09
Clearly he has no idea; being a male who has not even experienced period pain he has no right to tell women how to give birth; he has infuriated many by his stupid comments...You were very brave having so little pain relief, I admire you, I had to have a caesarean because my baby was breech so I had an epidural so I could be awake for the birth. I bonded with my daughter just fine, Dr Walsh is talking nonsense...Thanks for the response maximax8!
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
1 Aug 09
I agree...this guy has no clue. I give birth to both of mine naturally but it was not by choice..lol...I was having them to fast or got there to late..one of the two..for pain medication. I think that women bond with their children just fine without all the pain. Honestly..it makes the whole process much more pleasant and nice to remember. I would have taken that relief anyday.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
1 Aug 09
I don't believe bonding with baby has anything to do with how much pain you felt giving birth, it's totally ridiculous and you are right, this so called doctor has not got a clue! Thanks for stopping by Jen, appreciate it!
@Shellyann36 (9616)
• United States
25 Jul 09
I think that this man should keep his mouth shut and his opinions to himself until he has actually passed a melon through his hoohah! I would love to see him stretched out on a bed with his feet in stirrups trying to pass a big ole fat cantalope through his little hole! Insufferable lout!
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
26 Jul 09
Thanks for the resposne Shellyann, I have no more to add...
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
25 Jul 09
I had an epidural with my first child. The pain was so intense and while I would have liked to have gone natural...once put in that position...I really could not do it. Well, I guess if I didn't have the choice, I'd have lived thru it but it was such a relief. I had endured the pain and the epidural was given in the last hour of labor. I had it lucky & only endured that intense pain for a short time as opposed to some women who are in it for hours and hours. My next 3 children came quickly and there was no time for meds. Even then the pain was very intense. My oldest one...is fine and we are very very close. I never felt that it lessoned the bonding in any way at all. I don't think any man could ever be a judge of something like this.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
25 Jul 09
You are right no man could have any idea in regards to giving birth or a mother's bonding with her baby. What we plan to do is not always what comes about when the time comes. I wanted a natural childbirth and wouldn't have minded pain relief but I had to have a caesarean because my little girl was breech and small; the doctor informed me that it was not safe to have her naturally and that was what I wanted I would have had to find another hospital because they did not deem it safe. I agreed with the doctor because I wanted my baby out safely. The birth's pain was not too bad but I was in agony for the next week especially once I got home and forgot to pick up painkillers on the way! Like you I bonded just fine. Thanks for responding sid556!
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
25 Jul 09
Some people just do not know what they are speaking and what impact that could have on humans. They just let it out. Horrible inferences of Dr Walsh! He needs a full time course in it.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
25 Jul 09
Dr Walsh has since defended himself and said he was misquoted, I would love to know how...It sounds to me as if he should have given his ideas more thought before he made a statement. Thanks for responding mimpi!
@ElicBxn (60884)
• United States
24 Jul 09
well, I've never had a child, but I have to agree with you - yes, women have endured millions of years of painful child birth - why should be have to endure one more minute? GROW a BRAIN, stupid - or have them YOURSELF! Seems only fair to me that if a man wants a kid, he gets to carry it for 9 months and then deliver it!
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
25 Jul 09
So true! I could only have one and to have more would have entailed more years of gruelling and invasive fertility treatment. When my husband started going on about a second one I said, "Go right ahead...Just don't involve me or any other woman!" Thanks ElicBxn!
1 person likes this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
24 Jul 09
Hi paula, I saw the doctor on a short interview, and he stated he was misquoted in the acticle which has been repeated in newspapers all around the world. I think he was on Sunrise, or one of our morning programs, and the femeles were as angry, and saying the same things as you, before he had his chance to defend himself. After he told his side, snd what he said, not what was reported, they were sympethic toward him. This is a case of a British tabloid, misquoting someone to sell papers, and they have succeeded, just as they have succeeded to ruin the poor doctor'e reputation. I do agree with you that no man should judge the amount of pIN woman goes through when bringing a new child into this world.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
25 Jul 09
Really? I must get a hold of that! It is a shame if he was misquoted and surely he can appreciate women's anger. I would love to hear his explanation. No one likes to take unnecessary medication but childbirth pain can be extreme and it is an individual choice. Thanks for your input mipen. I will try to find the doctor's explanation if I can. Thanks again for stopping by!
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
24 Jul 09
I'm with you... having done it all three ways.... The first word I taught me second hubby after we found out about our surprise was epidural. Mind you she was my 5 birth (two I lost shortly after) I knew what was to come.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
25 Jul 09
Hi Chimes! I am sorry about the loss of your babies... No one can possibly know what it feels like unless you are a woman and you have done it. I have only been able to have one child due to fertility problems and as I mentioned it was by cesarean so I can't even comment on your experiences, let alone a man! Thanks for responding!
@superaren (209)
• China
25 Jul 09
Thanks anyways for responding.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
25 Jul 09
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