What will you do in this situation? Advice/Suggestions appreciated!
By gcorp09
@gcorp09 (940)
Singapore
July 28, 2009 12:46am CST
I have this situation which I will appreciate if some parents could give me some advice or suggestions on what I can do. I have 2 kids, of age 6 & 7 respectively. My son, who is in primary 1 (or grade 1) this year, often have a lot of homework, of which he requires some supervision and teaching for some of them. The problem is my younger daughter do not have any homework at all. While I'm teaching my son on his homework, she will sometimes play toys and make lots of "noises" (eg. singing songs loudly). My son will usually be distracted by his sister and will not be able to concentrate on the homework. We do sometimes give her things to do such as coloring, or drawing, but she will sometimes still "deliberately" do things which annoy both of us, such as "disturbing" her brother...
Well, I do know that this is her way of getting attention, but sometimes it's really going out of hand. What do you think I can get her to do instead?
Thank you in advance for reading and your contributions! 
1 person likes this
12 responses
@stephwrites (275)
• United States
28 Jul 09
I would suggest telling her that if she is busy and quiet for a period of time, say fifteen minutes, that you will spend some time with her too, reading a book or doing a craft project. then go back to helping your son, then reading to her again. She needs to learn that you want to do things with her but you can't if she doesn't help you and the brother with homework. Hope this helps.
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
28 Jul 09
Thanks for your suggestion. I guess I will have to try this method to see if it works for her. She do understand that I will need to spend time with her brother on his homework. It's just that she wants some attention as well.
Hope it will make her be quieter...
1 person likes this
@thebox2 (15)
• United States
28 Jul 09
Dear gcorpo9 Hi I'm thebox2, Your kids are not that far apart in age. I wonder why the big difference in homework? But thats another subject. Still their age is close together. I had five kids , first two same age, next one year younger, next two three years younger, there was alot of multi tasking just to get the dishes done. But what worked for me was to get the younger children busy with a craft project, something they could make with out much supervision, at the table in the kitchen. While I worked with say the two older ones at the coffee table in the living room. a door between us and I left that opened. If it was the middle child the two older would help the younger. This way all the work got done and my mother got lots of hand made presents from my kids. You only have two so you have to leave your daughter on her own. But if you start her off first, then go to work woth your son that might work. But from the sound of things it appears your daughter wants your attention on her, not her brother. You might try explaining things to her and try and find out what the problem is . Double check yourself, does your daughter get equal time with you? Look for what you might be missing. A child of 6 is old enough to keep herself occupied for a short period of time. So she should not be doing all that...To find your solution think of yourself at that age what would work on you? I'll bet that you will fix it.
2 people like this
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
28 Jul 09
Thanks for your response. Firstly, to answer your first query on the big difference in the homework, our government discourage the kindergarten (pre-school) to give any homework to these kids, so all the "homework" are done during school time. Thus, she do not have any homework when she gets home. As for my son, he's now in primary one, and on some days, he do not have any homework, while on others, he may have numerous homework plus test/spelling etc... Thus, on these days, we can easily spend 2 - 3 hours (sometimes even more) doing these homework the teacher had given.
Well, I like to thank you for your suggestion. We did talk to her before about this, and she do understand and knows that her brother had lots of homework. I will say that she is able to keep herself occupied for short periods of time if she wants to, but sometimes, she just had to "disturb" us when it's getting too long. Well, I also do understand that sometimes I do spend more time with the brother on his homework, and maybe that's why she's doing all these. However, if I do not supervise him on his homework, the problem is he will sometimes take a long time to do his homework as well, and end up still doing the homework until the night time. He's a bit lazy and playful by nature, so someone had to watch him and also teach him on his homework, or his mind will start to wonder off/play with his stationery etc...
Anyway, I will try and see if I can start off with her on some craftwork or such, before going to the brother to supervise his homework. She do enjoy this type of "work". Hope that this will work...
1 person likes this
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
hello gcorp09,
I think you should give her something harder than that. More challenging for coloring and drawing at that age is already boring. They were doing that since they were not studying yet. In short, she knows that already.
Maybe you can join her with the lesson of your eldest kid. Anyway they only have a year gap. In that case she has an idea what she will do next year and that she will have an idea how hard it is.
Kids now a days will get bored if they do the same routine. More so if they are already expert in doing it. Give her something new and challenging that way she will get excited doing it.
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
30 Jul 09
Thanks to both for your suggestions. I guess it's also good to give her a slight head start on what she should expect next year. After all, she will be going to the same primary school as her brother, and the syllabus will likely be the same for her. I will try and work out something for her during my spare time.
@anangf (1146)
• Indonesia
29 Jul 09
I am agree with you robert, i have 2 children and sometime we must think everyday to give our children motivation to have positive activities. The important thing is make them more happier to do.
Indeed, the routine days are boring, we the parents are exactly face at the same situation as they are
.
happy myLot.
.
happy myLot.1 person likes this
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
29 Jul 09
That's so cute. I have two also... one is 4 and one is 16 months. They always bother each other even they dont have any home yet. My advice, whenever your daughter sleep then you can teach your son. or let her play with someone else. keep her busy with another person. She will be alright with that... or you can tell her that you need some time with her brother
1 person likes this
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
30 Jul 09
Thanks for your comments. I do also hope that she will sleep, but she had long kick off the napping time in the afternoon, even though she woke up early in the morning everyday. She will usually sleep early at night around 9pm instead. I guess that we have to talk to her again on the need of spending time to supervise her brother on homework.
Anyway, thanks for your suggestions...
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
28 Jul 09
I have this issue with my youngest. I home school so we deal with it all day long. I have a box of work books age appropriate and I make her sit down while we are working to do some of her own work. I go back and forth to help her here and there and then she not only is busy but doing what the older tow are doing and sharing in the Momma time.
1 person likes this
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
30 Jul 09
Thanks for your response. I guess this will probably help. Sometimes when her brother is working on his homework, she will peer over and look. For example, last week, when her brother is doing homework, and he forget some of the spelling of the words, I ask her to spell out, and she eagerly spell out for her brother to write... I guess I will find some appropriate materials for her to work on too.
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
30 Jul 09
It's amazing how much a little work given can help a situation
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jul 09
My children are much further apart in age. Age 6 and 2 respectively, but last year my daughter, who was in kindergarten had homework (not a lot, but enough) and of course my son didn't. She did require supervision and help with her homework. What I did for my younger son was after we got done with homework for the evening, we would do a learning activity of some sort with him. We would work on counting or alphabet or something.
For your younger child, there are lots of great resources on the web for learning based activities or even invest in age level appropriate learning activities and try to help them both work on their "homework" at the same time.
2 people like this
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
28 Jul 09
Thanks for your response. Yes, I do know that there are a lot of resources on the web on such activities. However, it will be a bit hard to supervise the 2 of them at the same time. In addition, my elder son will also most likely be distracted and will likely to looking at the computer's direction. This is also another issue of which I had to consider too...
1 person likes this
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
28 Jul 09
If your daughter is in kindergarten, while her brother is in primary 1, then she understands what school work / homework is. Are they both in school for the same amount of time each day? Are they gone for full days? It seems pretty clear that your daughter is just seeking attention. I think you are going to have to be very firm with her and explain that at home, just like at school, when there is school work to be done, it has to be done sitting down, being quiet and concentrating. You can explain that she has two options - either she can have the freedom to go and play quietly in her room or another room, since she is lucky to have no homework, or she can remain in the room with you and your son but she will have to do work too (at this point, you can incorporate the great ideas you've been given already for workbooks or even worksheets you can print off the internet). She might not make the same choice every time - sometimes, she might actually sit with you and do some busy work for a bit. But, really, at 6 years old she is old enough to have rules about her behavior and they should be enforced. You might also explain to her that the longer she interrupts the homework session, the longer it will be until you can participate in something fun together. It's never too early to start teaching them about priorities and the importance of doing their homework properly. I wish you a lot of luck, though, because I do know that homework can be a difficult factor in people's home life.
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
30 Jul 09
Thanks for your comments. Yes, she do understand what school work and homework is. As for school, she comes back earlier than her brother, but I will say that both are in school in the morning. She finishes school at noon, while her brother only finishes school one and an half hours later. Well, we are firm with her, and did sometimes told her to play quietly. It's just that sometimes she will be impatient when her brother have more homework and takes more time, and started to disturb us. Well, I guess we have to slowly explain to her again. As for your tactics, we could try and see if it will work too...
Thanks everyone for your suggestions so far. I do feel that it's very heartwarming when all lend out your hands to help...
@rainmark (4302)
•
28 Jul 09
In my opinion,you can asks somebody, or maybe your hubby to look after your daugther or play with her, while you are teaching/helping your son for his homework. Or you can asks one of your relatives to take her to the park or outside. So she can't distract her brother.
Happy posting.
1 person likes this
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
28 Jul 09
Well, thanks for your response. We did tried this before, and she usually do not disturb her brother for this case. However, it's not everytime that there are other people in the house. Sometimes, my husband is working, and my mother in law is busy with housework or out running errands. As for bringing her out, it depends. There are times where my mother in law suggested bringing her back to her place (it's only 2 blocks away), but she refused to go. She insisted on staying at home with the 2 of us. As for bringing her to the park, it's possible, but my son will be even more distracted and unhappy, as he will want to go out too. However, he can't because of his homework.
Anyway, thanks for your suggestions.
1 person likes this
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
Give her snacks or something to eat just to keep her attention away from you and her brother. Or leave her watching TV or kiddie videos at the internet. Anything that would interest her that would take her time away disturbing her brother.
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
30 Jul 09
Well, she will sure be very happy if I give her something to eat. However, she's already overweight, and I will want her to slim down instead. As for the rest, I'm sure she will be glad to keep quiet too, but I'm scared this will in turn get her brother distracted instead... I guess maybe I should get her to do some work instead, as per advised by some mylotters here.
Anyway, thanks for your suggestions.
@cwong77 (2010)
• Malaysia
29 Jul 09
could she be interested to do the work her brother is doing? I think kids nowadays are quite attention seeker, or maybe you want to let her have some of her brother's work, so she will know what is going on? even she won't be understand, she will be interested too... and this could also prepare her for it? I hope it help..
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
30 Jul 09
Thanks for your suggestions. Well, this could be the case too. She may be curious about the homework as well. I certainly will not be able to give some to her to do, as the teacher could detect the different handwriting. However, I guess I could prepare something similar for her to work on, while her brother is doing his as well.
@dianatapu (42)
• United States
29 Jul 09
Well, I just had my first babygirl, she is just sleeping and eating. But remember this situation , because that was the case with me and my brother. And I remember my mom was including me in learning activities, because the age difference was not big, after that , next year it was very easy for me in school. You can try that if you think is going to work with your kids. Good luck!
@javedhashmi (2)
• Pakistan
29 Jul 09
Hi, You may decide with ur kids to have an isolated activity session. Both kids should agree not to interact witjh each other and stay in a separate room for decided time period. Now you can give necessary help to boy and may occasionally peep in the room of girl who should be allowed to undertake activity of her choice. May be it work. May God help u.
