My neighbor's kid is driving me nuts. What woud you do?
By MissAmie
@MissAmie (717)
United States
August 12, 2009 6:27pm CST
A few months ago a new famiy moved into our apartment complex. I was really excited because they had a daughter the same age as my litte girl and they went to the same school, but weren't in the same grade. The neighbor's kid is a year behind.
So I start getting to know this family and there are positives and negatives. I knew they wouldn't be very good friends with me, but I figured the kids would have fun. From the beginning these two have been best friends and worst enemies at the same time. I just don't know what to do after today...here's what happened.
My daughter was a litte tired this afternoon but wanted to go play. I said ok and she went over to get the other little girl and they went riding bikes. I was in the kitchen, looking out onto the parking lot where they were riding. I see the neighbor's kid running toward the door. My daughter had wrecked and scuffed her knee. By the time I got outside the neighbor kid's step dad had her and she wasn't crying or anything. I knew she was tired and it seems like every time I let her ride when she's tired she has a bad wreck.
So, I tell my daughter to come inside and rest for a bit, assuming the other kid would go home. I was wrong. She just sat on my porch forever. So I kinda felt bad and me and my little girl went back out. I went to get some stuff I had left in the car and found my daughter's happy meal. She hadn't finished it. I get it out of the car and tell her to eat. The other kid goes "can I eat those?" I expained to her that this was all my little girl had eaten today and I'm sorry but no. She asks me to cook her something. I told her I didn't really have anything to cook. Finally after digging through my kitchen she wanted a spoonful of peanut butter. She thought I should just give her the jar and let her eat from that! ICK!
THEN...after I had told her a million times not to eat those nuggets I swear, my daughter walked away and she starts woofing them down. My daughter starts to cry and I start to see red. I tell her to go home for a little while and I would let my daughter come back out later.
She continues to knock on the door like, every 3 minutes. I kept telling her to go on back home but she just didn't. I also have a 2 year old son who was trying to nap. Then the worst part happened...
She rang the doorbell again and knocked and I look at my kid and say "could you please go ask her to not wake your brother." My daughter, who is already annoyed to death, jerks the door open and says "STOP RINGING THE DOORBELL, MY BROTHER IS TRYING TO SLEEP!" And then slammed the door...Right on the neighbor kid's head cause she was leaning into the door.
I ran over to make sure she was ok. Nothing was broken, no blood. I just told her to go on home that she and my daughter needed to stay away from each other for a while.
So now I am not sure of my next move. How long should I wait before I let them play together again? I'm thinking I'll let her knock on our door instead of letting my kid ask her. I'm not sure if the other parents are mad, but I kind of doubt it...they understand how those 2 are.
Have you ever had 2 kids that couldn't get along but also didn't want to stay apart. I mean, I feel bad because that's the only kid in this entire complex that my daughter can play with. No one else has kids...they're all just babies. This problem will solve itself in a few months...the other family is moving. But what in the world do I do with the crazy things until then?
Please help this mom not yank her hair out!
6 people like this
11 responses
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
13 Aug 09
If this girl is so hungry that she'll eat someone's leftover happy meal, I think that maybe she's not getting enough food. I think she needs someone to help her. I don't think that she's greedy or rude, she must be hungry. Her parents might not have enough money to feed her enough and they may not be giving her the attention she needs, either.
I'll never forget the neighborhood kid who was always hungry and emotionally needy. Years later, he took the time to contact my mom and thank her for the love and support and the food that she gave him (we were poor, too). Because of her, he became a successful artist and survived his abusive mother which my mom didn't know about or she would have done something about it. You can be this girl's "my mom".
2 people like this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
12 Aug 09
well seeing as the other family is moving anyway I wouldn't do anything, let your little girl have a friend for awhile even though they seem to fight a bit, your daughter may come out of it with a pen friend but I think you will find whe they move away your little girl may find out what she has lost, someone her own age and she will her...reading your post I must admit I felt a little concerned for your neighbour, she may have been hungry, I think that would break my heart....anyway i say let your daughter have a friend while she is still there...kids have to learn about friendship for their own benefit in life...
@MissAmie (717)
• United States
12 Aug 09
Yeah, don't worry about this kid going hungry. She is seriously double my daughter's weight. I couldn't let a kid go hungry either, but good lord. There are days when she eats dinner at her house and THEN comes to eat with us. It was kind of funny at first, but now it's just plain annoying.
1 person likes this
@AcousticSoul (1309)
• United States
13 Aug 09
I remember those days... I remember having an annoying friend. Kids will be kids fight make up and then fight again I would just let them work it out on there own... My question is where was the little girl parents... they should of made her go home...
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Aug 09
when my son was little, the boy next door would come over everytime we sat down to breakfaast and stand there and drool.I finally fed him at the same time I did my own kids.he told me he had never drank milk for breakfast he just had orange crush.his mom worked in the local bar, came home at two and left the two boys to cook or not cook their breakfasts. her sister lived across the street and was supposed to look after them but she didnt get up til noon.My son
and the other boy got along alright but the kid next door had an unfortunate habit of p;icking up things people put by their cars,one day myson and his friend came home pulling a transmission in a little wagon I was dumfounded.the two boys said someone threw this out it was just lying in the street. I got a knock on the door, an irate sweating old mAn was there holding the transmission in his hand. did you kid steal this I told him what the boy next door said,then he laughed until I thought he was going to faint, And that ended them picking up stuff on the streets.I talked to childrens welfare and sicked them onto his mother. she lost the two children who were taken to live with her mom, the kids loved their grandmother so that was just great. the two boys did stay friends.
1 person likes this
@Raven7317 (691)
• United States
13 Aug 09
I completely understand how you feel! I have a similar situation in that the other child is the only one on our street that my 4 YO can/wants to play with...
The mom and I used to be great friends, our boys are only 7 months apart, mine being the oldest. Then it started to become quite clear that our parenting styles were worlds apart and it all went downhill from there. Number one reason being her style is to SPOIL the child, my style is to TEACH and discipline... Long story short, her child is THE SPAWN OF SATAN - my child is not.
So to answer your question, how I handle it is, I control their time together without seeming like I am... For example, this child is very rarely outside, but when he is, it's usually around 4/5 PM... I tell my son that he can play with N for a few minutes, but then it's time to (whatever.) I make sure to say this in front of the other mom because I've learned that she uses me as an excuse to go inside too.... Because my son is well behaved, I can tell him something and he'll calmly accept it and obey... When I've had enough of the devil child, I tell my son, "time to go" and we go. I don't worry about the other child screaming, which he does at the top of his lungs, or about his temper tantrum that he throws in the middle of the street. I just do what I need to do.
One thing that I do for my son for socialization is take him to playgrounds, the library and the mall to meet and interact with other kids. Mommy and Me classes are also great. This way, I feel that he's getting to play with children without exposing him to the Devil's Seed on a constant basis! And I also tell him, when we're alone, "That is not nice behaviour and we don't behave like that." I use bad behaviour of other children as a teaching tool.
In your case, I would start stating rules to the other little girl and give no room for negotiation. For example, when it's time to eat, tell her, "it's time for us to eat, so you need to go home until we're finished." When it's time for rest/nap time, tell her, "we rest/nap in this house, you need to go home so we can sleep." Don't be afraid to tell this little one to go home, or to take her home and HAND her to her mother with the same explanation. I say to any child in my home, "that's the rule" whenever they do something that isn't allowed or appreciated. Any mom who brings or leaves their children here needs to accept the fact, My house, My rules. No acceptance means that child isn't coming over.
In the long run, this family is moving, you may want to avoid the tension that may or may not creep up by taking a firm stance, but then again, you may not care about tension more than you care about your sanity and you may not care because this family is leaving... Either way, whichever you decide, Good Luck!
1 person likes this
@MissAmie (717)
• United States
13 Aug 09
I like the way you handle the situation. In my situation, I am the less strict parent. My daughter has less rules, but she is pretty well behaved.
I'm not big on confrentation, so I'll probably just let it slide until they move. They shouldn't be here very long, they're going somewhere to be missionaries. Maybe my daughter can learn some good lessons from her and how NOT to act.
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
13 Aug 09
I have to agree with Raven. I would set the rules with this kid. We used to have a kid that wanted to play all the time. It annoyed me because her parents didn't even care where she was. It was sad. I had to send her home several times because it wasn't a good time for us. I am not one to let a kid play at seven in the morning.
1 person likes this
@AznBombr1022 (76)
• United States
13 Aug 09
try talking to the kid or the kid parents if that doesnt work hit the kid or run the kid over with your car just kidding dont do that yeah talking to them maybe will help fix all the problems you are having with them
1 person likes this
@sblossom (2168)
•
13 Aug 09
How can you do with the kid? I really feel sorry for you and understand your feeling. I suppose you better to talk with the child's mother or father to see how they deal with the situation.
Also if it's available you might take your child for holiday and see if after a few days what will happen with them.
happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@hmfryklund (389)
• United States
13 Aug 09
Wow what an obnoxious child! I really think that the only way to solve this by any means would be to talk to her parents, even if it doesn't make any difference. Maybe set up some kind of playing schedule for the kids so that it isn't an every 15 minute thing, you know? At least they are moving soon so that helps lol! But until then, either talk to the girls' parents and tell them how she is behaving and how it is affecting your family, or sit the girl down and tell her consequences to things that she does at your house like taking your daughter's food, waking your son up, doing things when told not to, etc.
@dbabcook (388)
• United States
13 Aug 09
I empathize with you. We live in a townhome complex (6-plex) where there are about 12 or 13 kids. All of which are somewhat close in age but then all of their relatives children come here. My daughter plays with 1 of the other children from our building who is about a year younger than she is and they play well together, well for a while anyway until the younger girl starts to annoy my daughter and my daughter cannot play outside anymore so she comes inside. This girl will come and knock or ring the bell many times throughout the day until my daughter finally answers the door after her many attempts and tells her she no longer wants to play. The girl will go away for a bit but now she has a cell phone that her grandmother got her and she continually calls or texts my daughter to the point where my daughter will shut off her phone to eliminate hearing it ring. There have even been numerous times where we will have the door open and be resting and this little girl decides that as long as our main door is open that she can just open out screen door and walk on in whenever she chooses. I am not the type to go off on a small child but it is rather annoying. We finally started closing and locking our door so that she cannot just waltz in. She continued to come down here and finally has realized after several weeks that she should just knock and if my daughter wants to come out and play she will and if not she will call her when she is ready. I don't know if this helps in any way or not but hopefully the ignorance of this child to your daughter might have an impact.
