Why are married men more attractive than single guys?

October 8, 2009 4:37pm CST
Ok for those of you who've known me from my humble beginnings on my lot know the trouble I had with a certain married guy. Took me months to finally break it off from him and well I thought I was done in that arena... Last month I met a very dashing American bloke who has come here to London on contractual basis. He's an architect and he'll be in London here for the next year working on one of our many building designs. We met at a fundraising charity ball and well we hit it off.. He's so smart, funny, intelligent, romantic, charming, terrific dancer, has the sexiest voice and not to mention HOOOOTTTT!!! but... HE IS F***** MARRIED!!!! Oh I was sooooo pi$$ed when he said "I have to leave as my wife will be worried" Why?? why?... I mean here I was thinking "finally prince charming has arrived but turns out somebody beat me to it... Anyway he still calls me and we had lunch early this week and we enjoyed a good laugh.. but I'm so attracted to him (not only physically but everything else) He just called me and asked me to dinner tomorrow night and yes I know I should have said no but I just have to have one more look at his gorgeous eyes and sexy lips that I just want to chew it off him.. and just one more moment with him... Funny thing is there's also a single guy who like me but I'm not interested in him at all and I've turned down a lot of his proposals... I really like this guy and I know he likes me too from the way we stare at each other and flirt continously and if I go with him tomorrow night for dinner I cannot guarantee I'll be innocent because he is just soo hot... So why am I attracted to married men? Why are married guys so hot? is it so to torment us single gals? I don't understand it now.. its really driving me insane..
5 people like this
18 responses
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
9 Oct 09
Hi dear! Yours is an interesting and fabulous story like a romantic novel of Daneil Steel, though with a twist. I think my brief answer to your query could be - Married men are more experienced and dexterous in handling young women and on the basis of their experiences they can charm anyone. Therefore, it appears to me that your charming price (married prince, should I say.....LOL!) would have used all his skills and experience to woo and charm you. (BTW, I am also married and I have the confidence to charm a unmarried or a married women......) dpk
1 person likes this
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Oct 09
Hi Jelly! Look dear, our friendship has just began so you should not spank me because I have yet to seduce you For that matter everybody loves to be naughty (provided s/he gets an opportunity) Yes, being married to a woman gives you an edge by way of some added experience to handle and charm others (read women). It is not unfair because it takes two hands to clap so if you feel that somebody is seducing you or seduced, please remember you are party to it, so both are responsible for the situation. (please do not take it otherwise, I'm just kidding. dpk
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dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
11 Oct 09
Hi Jelly! I just cannot believe this. I am pleasantly surprised that you selected my response as the best one.. Many thanks for giving me this honor.
jellymonty
@jellymonty (2352)
•
9 Oct 09
why you naughty little %^%£$£$$... I should spank you guys for seducing me like that! So is it like you guys learn the skill of seduction AFTER marriage? That's so unfair!
1 person likes this
corrycrystal
@corrycrystal (1775)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 09
If this guy is not married then you would still be attracted to him, right?! So, I think it is not all about you are attracted to a married man, but to the man himself. Am I making any sense to you? It just happened that this man is your taste and knowing that he is already married, somewhere in your subconscious mind he is a real challenge and that excites you more. So, the next time when you meet a married man that you attracted to, picture his wife is standing next to him or just picture you as his wife and he is flirting with some other girls, feel the pain before you're getting involved. All the best in making the right decisions and I hope your prince charming will come and save you soon.
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jellymonty
@jellymonty (2352)
•
9 Oct 09
yeah I didn't think of that really... but in my world single guys are too timid to speak to me so I always end up the married folk pouncing on my door
corrycrystal
@corrycrystal (1775)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 09
That will be difficult to wait for single guys to approach you then... hmmm... Why don't you consider making the first move?? Just a suggestion...
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jellymonty
@jellymonty (2352)
•
9 Oct 09
Oh am too chicken to make moves Besides am not the one who does the noticing.. the boys usually notice me
firecracker
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
9 Oct 09
Because they're the ones that tend to get snatched up first? LOL On a more serious note, how would you like it if you were the one that was married to him and his wife (who would then be the other woman) was the one flirting with him and possibly have an affair with YOUR man even though she is fully aware that he is married. How would you feel then? Would you be bothered that your husband was having an affair or would you be okay with it? If this married man is willing to go the distance with you, it makes me wonder as to how many other women he has had affairs with without his wife knowing. I'm assuming she doesn't know. Am I right? Hell, who knows where he's been or what kind of diseases he might have. Not to mention would you really want to be known as the home wrecker? The sl%t? The wh0re? Think about it. Is it really worth all the trouble that comes along with being a mistress? He may be good looking, but if he's married, chances are he's not going to divorce his wife for you. Not unless she kicks his sorry @$$ to the curb first. Sorry to bust your bubble like that. In the end it is your decision. One that you have to live with for the rest of your life. Good luck in making the right one, whatever you choose... Happy mylotting!
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firecracker
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
9 Oct 09
I don't think they're hiding. Maybe you're just not looking in the right places. LOL An old spinster? What are we, back in the old days? LOL I thought there wasn't such a thing as that anymore. We are in the 21st century, after all! I'm sure you'll find your prince charming one day. And one that isn't married either. Good luck!
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jellymonty
@jellymonty (2352)
•
9 Oct 09
Damn! Damn! Damn!.... where the hell do all these guys hide that I lose out?? Yeah I know I'll be called all sorts of names if I did go ahead and no I wouldn't want to be the other woman.. so well I guess I have to do things the "society way" and live as a single old spinster.. BOOOOOOO!!!
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magickat
@magickat (381)
•
9 Oct 09
The fact that you know he is off limits makes him more exciting and attractive and as others have mentioned there is a sense of minimal commitment - you can have all the good parts of a relationship with none of the mundane side. Having been married before and found out my (then) husband was fooling around with other women i would encourage you to back off - you have no idea how much it hurts to be on the receiving end.
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jellymonty
@jellymonty (2352)
•
9 Oct 09
I have been on the receiving end.. and I know it hurts a lot more on that side.. but you know am silly sometimes.. I admit that
EnglishTeaDuck
@EnglishTeaDuck (862)
• United States
9 Oct 09
Sorry I really don't relate at all! I think as someone said, maybe you are afraid of the commitment of someone who is actually available? I have a suggestion - if you think going for dinner would lead somewhere , DON'T GO FOR DINNER! You have a choice, to be the sort of person who is willing to destroy a marriage and hurt another woman, or you can go and find a single guy. Or even better, don't be in a relationship at all until you work out what it is that makes you want that.
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jellymonty
@jellymonty (2352)
•
9 Oct 09
O'cmon! its steak nite at Angus House!!! ok if am not going to have the date at least let me enjoy the dinner!!... oh shoot.. I'm already late
starsailover
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
8 Oct 09
It's easy: they look hot because there's a warning sign on them, there's something good in doing bad things lol, and a mature look, experience, etc of a married man would make it more attractive. But in general i think it souldn't make any difference in front of a single guy but the sensation of doing something wrong
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jellymonty
@jellymonty (2352)
•
9 Oct 09
hahahahaha.. warning sign... I like that But yes illegal stuff is always fun to do eh?
Patsie Hatley
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Oct 09
hi jellymonty The married guys are so hot because they are also' safe, they are already committed so you do not have to worry about committing yourself to this man, you can enjoy forbidden fruits and not have to actually committ yourself to a single man. safe safe safe. ask any mental health person.With a single man you may get hurt,but let me clue you in with a married man you are more likely to really get hurt. Why not think about the women they are married to, would you really want to break up someone else's marriage because a guy is hot?Also that kind of heat is just lust if you want love look further.
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xannebull
@xannebull (1793)
• Philippines
9 Oct 09
it depends to the men and to the girls i think. if a girl likes a more mature men, then she would be easily attracted to married guys. but some married guys are more experienced on attracting ladies that is why i think maybe that some of the married men are more attractive than single guys.
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SandrainSpain
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
8 Oct 09
I think the problem is, married guys away from home act like single guys, so you see the sanitised version, not the real McCoy. Naturally you're attracted, because he's making an effort. If you met him on his home ground, you probably wouldn't even like him. Nothing wrong with being attracted, but this guy could be bad news if it goes any further than looking and flirting. There's someone waiting for you somewhere, and he won't be sporting a gold band. Have patience, but carry on having fun as well.
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jellymonty
@jellymonty (2352)
•
8 Oct 09
I suppose you're right... There's always bads news with a married guy.. So I'm going to hold my horses...as tight as I can
irene3184
@irene3184 (898)
• Philippines
9 Oct 09
I think there are some women who find married men more attractive compare to single guys because married men is more expert in taking the chances to adore and take actions to let the girls feel special.But for me, I never get attracted to any married men because I always set boundaries to them when I know it from the very start that they are married already and have some other intentions.
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cutepink_13
@cutepink_13 (691)
•
9 Oct 09
don't you worry jellymonty time will come for you to meet your prince charming. those married men you met are not the man for you because they are already paired with someone else. each of us is paired already by God and you and your partner have not cross your path yet. so just wait because it really pays to wait.
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redphile
@redphile (2264)
• Philippines
8 Oct 09
maybe because it is like a challenge or a conquest or a prize that u want to win. Who wants to lose?
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redphile
@redphile (2264)
• Philippines
8 Oct 09
maybe because it is like a challenge or a conquest or a prize that u want to win. Who wants to lose?
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lodz28
@lodz28 (86)
• Philippines
9 Oct 09
it is not good that you are dating with this married man.you should avoid him.
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Marty
@marty3888 (2355)
• Acme, Michigan
8 Oct 09
You say not just looks but everything else. But you keep coming back tom his looks. Now, before I go on, guys are really guilty of this too. In fact I believe you mention his looks more times than the other things. OK, remember, he's asking you out to lunch, even though he's married. Is that what you want? Why are looks that important? Do you believe if he was single and the two of you started dating that he wouldn't do that to you too? I guarantee you he would. Now, you get to marry this guy. What kind of annoying habits does he have that drive you crazy. But he's so good looking! Those good looks can disappear. I'm not saying he is definitly like that, but he sounds like it. So why are married men more attractive? For that reason. Everybody is so concerned about looks, they see someone and they say "I'm in love." Now, the single guy that is intersted in you. Why are you not intersted in him? What is it about him that you don't like? his looks? no sexy lips? The girlfriend I'm with now was not interested in getting into a relationship at all when she met me. She said I didn't know there were guys like you around. I can tell you, I'm not unattractive, but I don't turn heads either. But I treat her good. And we love each other. But partly because I'm more plain than good looking, and probably because I'm shy, until now, it's been a little hard finding girlfriends.But I sure know a lot of women who have married or gone out with guys and are unhappy.
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ladym33
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
8 Oct 09
You know this can lead to no good. You have been through it before and you know it is only going to cause you heart break, and his wife heartbreak, and possibly his children if he has any. It is hard for men to resist us ladies even the married ones so we need to be the voice of reason in these situations. Men like it when they know a woman is interested. I don't mean to sound like an old mother hen here but if you take it further there is no doubt that someone is going to get hurt and maybe a lot of people. Sorry to be the party pooper. When you go out to dinner with him find a couple of flaws about him and concentrate on them al night. That should help.
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jugsjugs
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
8 Oct 09
Think on the terms as well that he may be flirting as well as sleeping with other women.How would you feel if you were the wife as well.If the wife finds out do you know if he has children and how would you feel if he left her for you?How would you feel if that was your husband?
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Fulltank
@Fulltank (2882)
• Philippines
8 Oct 09
I guess its all about experience. A married guy already proven that he can make a girl in-loved with him once. And want to prove that he can do it again. Other explanation from our counsellings shows that all couple are not 100% perfect. Lets say a married guy fells that her wife is only 90% of what he has expected (and vice-versa), so he tries to find that lacking 10% to another woman. My advise, for Christ sake, don't get in-love to a married man. Wake-up, wake-up before its too late.
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