I love my boyfriend, I really do.. but

I would like to share what I have read from an article about love and relationship that concerns your dilemma. It says that a boyfriend can be a good husband if he loves his mother. Know the relationship of your boyfriend and his mother, the way he treated his mother will most likely the way he will treat you when you get married. Second, when you dine out in a restaurant how does he treat the food server? Does he boss around or wait patiently? Either of the two, one of those traits will show in marriage. Finally, does he love animals? or dont care about them? An animal lover is proven to be more responsible than latter. Since he's capable of showing care to anything inferior to human. I wish you goodluck in this matter because it involves your lifetime happiness.

kafueenu, should you have a bf that is exactly opposite of your bf right now, do you think he wont change once you guys stay in one roof? what im saying is, changes from worst to better or better to worst will always be possible. during my bachelor days, i had so many gfs... sometimes, not to mention, all at the same time. i never even had goals for my future which causes conflicts between me and my dad most of the time. and when my gf (during that time) accidentally got pregnant, things started to astound me. questions like: how can i take care of the baby? how will i buy milk? and a lot more brings me anxiety. the next thing i remember, im applying for a job. i started to realize that i have a big responsibility coming and i wont let them down. believe me from that time on until now, i never had any other girl except my wife. whats good about it is, we love each other so much. goodluck to you and happy holidays

I think I would ditch him immediately. I have always believed the purpose of dating is to determine whether that other person could be good to form a family with. If you are already thinking he would make a bad father, then you should spend less time with him. Generally when girls, or guys, think to themselves their possible mate is not a good candidate, normally it's because they are not a good candidate. I would stick with your assessment and move on. Plus the longer you spend with this guy who isn't going to make a good spouse, the harder and more painful it will be when you finally realize that you are right about him. Plus, the longer you wait, the longer it will be before you are able to move past the pain, and find a good man who can be that husband and father you want. Finally, there is one last reason to do this. Sometimes guys really can grow up, but only when they stop taking things for granted. If you leave him, this might serve as the "wake up" call he needs to mature, and grow up into a man, instead of an angry selfish boy. Quick story. My father was a teacher, and he had a student teacher he was working with. This guy was single, and really young. He had been dating this girl for almost 2 years. Finally he decided that he wanted to look around, and said they should break up. That break up was the best thing for both of them, even though the girl was heart broken over it at the time. While he dated other girls, he kept thinking that they didn't care about him the way she did. They didn't know him the way she did. They were not committed to him, like she was. Not being around her, not seeing her, being with other girls, made him realize just exactly what he lost. 6 months after the breakup, and not speaking the entire time, they got back to gather, and were engaged before the end of the year. Now they are married. Granted this isn't a sure thing. You might break up, and he'll never call you again. But then... that should be a sign to you, that he didn't really love you to begin with. If you disappear, and he simply finds someone else, then realize that's not love, and you never had it. He was just using you to get his jollys, and now that your gone, he found someone else to get his jollys from.

hi there. i know what you feel because my ex-boyfriend is also like your boyfriend. my ex is really super caring and very sweet and makes me love him and makes my heart melt :) but you know what.. when we have a misunderstanding.. it seems that we are enemies. 1st i was shocked on how he reacted and the way he treat me when he is mad. that time all i can do is to cry and try to explain everything to him as possible but in the end i need to be the one who will say sorry to make stop the argumentation even im not the cause of the problem. but later on i found out my self shouting too. because i dont want the way he treated me i also used his style. so imagine everytime we have misunderstanding it feels like hell, then he just kiss and make up after. then one night i asked my self do i sill love this guy? our relatioship is not growing but each day past i feel that i dont miss him because all things on my mind are all bad not the happy moments. and now i decided to get him out of my life. now he is starting to court me again and promise that he will change. but i need more time to think and need to use my mind not just my heart. i want a peacefull, simple and happy lovelife..

In my opinion, guys like that are difficult to deal with. I got a friend who is like that and eventually found a girl who is so gentle that she could tame that beast friend of mine. I am a passive guy so I could take my friend's madness and be able to be his friend. All I can say is he is a big warfreak. Although he is like that, her girlfriend has a unique charm that could make him be calm. What I am saying is that if you can't tame him with your charms then you will encounter more worse problem when you start to live together. If you can't take that strong personality of your bf, then maybe it is the time to decide if he is rightful or not :D

Hi Kafueenu,Love and doubts on the same person cannot stay together.First and foremost anyone of us start liking the guy with whom we stay for long time and its humane.But mistaking this 'liking' for 'love' is majorly where many of the women go wrong. As you are single you can bear or adjust with his antics when he goes mad.But in the long run when you start having kids and stay together, this will not work out.The quarrels of parents results in an unhappy childhood for the kids.They will be unnecessarily subjected to the influence of getting irritated, fighting and mood swings. The world is big, wait till you meet your Mr.Right. Also your current boyfriend might set alright when he finds his Ms.Perfect who will have damn good patient. Thanks With love Shailu

If you are asking yourself "What should I do, I don't want to marry my boyfriend?" then your subconcious is probably telling you to get out of Dodge. You should ask yourself if you are really happy when things are good, or are you fearing the next dramatic episode? If you don't see a future with him in it then why stay? Why work it out if you don't want to have kids with this person? Are you willing to give up making a family with this man in order to keep him? Does he make any kind of effort to improve his behavior? Is he as aware of your emotional state as you are of his? Do you ever feel manipulated by his negative emotions? How often do you get what you want out of the relationship in comparison to him? Do you answer these questions and see any imbalances in the give and take? When you bring thses issues to his attention does he even listen? If not then you might be happier with someone else, you might even want to take some time, as long as YOU want or need to figure out what it is you really want and to heal any hurt feelings.

Hi, kaufeenu. I am very sure that you love your boyfriend. But, if has a bad temper while you are boyfriend and girlfriend, then he may not be made out to be marriage material. I would suggest that you reconsider marrying him if you feel that he has mood swings that are very odd. Being that you are not married, now is the time to see if the both of you are ready for marriage. Think this through. On this issue, you will have to follow your mind and not your heart.

You really have a problem don't you, kafueenu? On the one hand you find him really caring and super but on the other, you find him intolerable, due to his temper which can turn him almost mad. Now why are hanging on if you are not able to help him control his moods? It might take a very strong personality to be able to tame such a man, don't you think? Does he know that he has a bad temper? He has to address that first, before anything can be done. If you really feel for him, try talking to him on one of his better days. Tell him what is to be if he is going to go on the way he is. Take him to a therapist who may be able to guide him. Cheers.

Honey, if you love but don't like him now, if you marry him, you will soon hate him. And, if you have children with him, it will be very difficult to leave at that point. So get out while the getting is good and don't look back. My best friend dated a man like yours, and he finally struck her during an argument. He convinced her it was HER fault he hit her. They married and it seemed EVERY DAY she did something that deserved being beaten. She didn't leave until he started in on their two-year old daughter. Nothing is worth being married to an angry partner.

the fact that you have so much love for a person with something that bothers you is already a sign that you would feel much more love for a person who is perfection in your eyes. love is blind, true. so that means your boyfriend isn't really the one for you. just my opinion...

It sounds like you need to examine your relationship and figure out if you want to stay with this guy. If you want a husband and family, but cannot see a future with the guy that you are currently with, it might be time to let him go and find someone you see yourself building a future with. Sorry to be so blunt, but that's what I honestly think.

Have you tried to talk about it? If you don't then try talking about it for all I know everyone who is inlove is willing to change for the sake of the person they love maybe he can do something about it. Or if its hard for him to control it then let him ask for professional help to make him control it.

I am in a relationship with a similar man. Really you have to do what you feel is best. Nobody can make this decision for you. So many people told me to end my relationship but one girl who told me I have to do what I want. I stayed with him and then I got pregnant and again had to re-evaluate my situation. I also fear his short temper with our son will be worse when the baby is older. But to be honest I see him getting better overtime with me and the baby. So I believe people can change, but it does take time and patience and thats where you have to be the one to decide if it is worth it to you.

you need to get out of this relationship now. what is the point of staying with someone if there is no future there? I would get out of this relationship as soon as possible. men like this only get worst, they don't change. I am sorry to hear this, but please end it now.

So you really love your boyfriend. He has lots of qualities that you like like caring for you in a sweet way. His bad attitude and fire like temper is getting to you. Sometimes a lady loves an man but after spending time with him she realizes that they are not compatible. It might be possible for you and your boyfriend to talk clearly about things. You could mention carefully that you are worried about his anger. You could request that he goes on an anger management course. You could explain that you would like to build a happy future with him. You could discuss different ways of parenting. No child is going to enjoy their dad being short tempered and often mad at them. I suggest a day out somewhere enjoyable for a char with your boyfriend. Good luck.

I think you had better wait for a period of time and try to make him get rid of the bad habits.Some people have the bad habits but he doesn't pay any attention to them.You had better tell him what you think about the problem and let him realize the gravity of the problem.He should care about your feeling if he love you.If he can't make any changes,you had better not marry him.

My friend, this is same as one of my friend's life. She has the same problem with her beloved. I gave her to follow this option. You too try it. A guy's heart is soo much sentimental and weak when compared to a girl. The best thing that you could do is if he raises his voice please don't raise your voice and create a scene in there. Be patient. Let him speak whatever he feels to. After he completes, go near him and say that the way he reacted was soo hurting and please don't do that again. Just say these words and leave it as it is. Don't respond to him if again he behaves in the same wait, but wait till he thinks about it. You'll see him coming to you and asking sorry for his behaviour. If you follow the same each time, his temper'll reduce to dust my friend. Wishing you all success my friend.

i don't think that you will appreciate what i am going to say. i think you know already. get out of this relationship. as in now. believe me, if i tell you that this is only the start. if you cannot get out, get him at least so far as to go and get help, because this is a problem, that you alone cannot fix. even if you have to take him by the hand to get professional help, do it or leave him.

Hey,Kafueenu!I can understand you,living with a man like you said is uncomfortable indeed.But if you are fall in love deeply,you can comunicate the problem with him,and told him,you love him,youwant to live with him.Maybe it's a good way to sovle the problem.Good luck!