Would you give up your Faith, just because you're engage to him?
By sexyposh
@sexyposh (575)
Philippines
January 24, 2010 9:21pm CST
The other day, I read from one of MyLotters wrote about having a relationship with (now who she is engaged with) whose faith is far different from her's. She is having trouble because she is a Christian and her fiance is a Muslim. Experiencing dilemma of which weighs more, the faith she knew all through out her life or her love for him..
Well, I really don't know much about Islamic Faith because I've been Catholic Christian my entire life. But I am sure that Islam is far different from my faith: its teachings, culture/tradition, and way of life. And to my assumption, there might be conflicts between two faiths in one household. Also, which of the two will you teach your future children?
Actually, I feel her. But not as deep as her's.. Right now I am engaged with a Baptist-Christian. Yes, we're in the same congregation but we have different church. Our relationship is being tested by our families whose in their indepth faith, because I chose his faith. Its not that I have a weak faith with my church, I just found a deeper sense of relationship with my God. Now we're about to get married in his church, in his culture/tradition, in his way of living..
If it happend to you, would you give up your faith because you're engage to him/her?
Happy MyLotting people!!!
2 people like this
15 responses
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
hello there...
nope, never. maybe i would give up that someone but not my faith...
well i have nothing against any religion or belief, but as far as i am concern, i have received the doctrines in the religion where i am now, i have faith on it and in my heart i know that nothing can take it out from me and i really hope so.
when i was younger i also experience liking someone who have different belief from me, we are both active in our own respective religions, even if we like each other, the relationship didn't pursue, we respect each others belief yes, but in our hearts we both know that no one will give up on our faith and so we decided to just stay friends...hehe we are aware that we can't be together coz conflicts & misunderstandings will be there when time comes...
now, we are both happy from where we are. he is now a pastor in their religion...and me, i marry someone from my religion as well...
but inyour case, atleast you made your choice already, and what is more important is what's in your heart & how you feel about the faith that you are in now...
good day!
well i have nothing against any religion or belief, but as far as i am concern, i have received the doctrines in the religion where i am now, i have faith on it and in my heart i know that nothing can take it out from me and i really hope so.
when i was younger i also experience liking someone who have different belief from me, we are both active in our own respective religions, even if we like each other, the relationship didn't pursue, we respect each others belief yes, but in our hearts we both know that no one will give up on our faith and so we decided to just stay friends...hehe we are aware that we can't be together coz conflicts & misunderstandings will be there when time comes...
now, we are both happy from where we are. he is now a pastor in their religion...and me, i marry someone from my religion as well...
but inyour case, atleast you made your choice already, and what is more important is what's in your heart & how you feel about the faith that you are in now...
good day!1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
then its good to know that your family already accepted the decision that you have made...i'm happy for you and i think what's more important now is your happiness...
i think what your family have is just an initial reaction...you know, usually we want our family to stay together in one faith that's why its kinda difficult at first to accept whenever one of our family member decided to change religion...
and i think your family saw that you are already happy with the decision you made & that you are happy with the relationship you have now, and so what they can do but to accept & support you.
i still see you as a lucky girl coz i have come across to some people who have been disowned by their parents just because they decided to change their religion...
well, topics about religion is always a hot stuff! haha everywhere!
i still see you as a lucky girl coz i have come across to some people who have been disowned by their parents just because they decided to change their religion...
well, topics about religion is always a hot stuff! haha everywhere!@sexyposh (575)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
Thanks for cheering my heart up. Really, before I end up to that choice I went through to all of my families criticism and "pagbabatikos" because they never really expect that I made that choice. Oh! I forgot to mention in this post that my folks are active in their charismatic movement.. That's what made the pagbabatikos sooooo difficult..
As of now, my family is slowly embracing my decision.. Whenever religion is the topic over dinner table, we never really tackle it much..
@myliezl0903 (2726)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
hi there sexyposh! it is really hard to have a relationship with someone who is not same as your faith ., been there done that ., i have been into same situation ., my boyfriend is born again christian and i am iglesia ni cristo ., he doesn't want to convert into our religion i do not want to be on their religion too ., we are into our 6ht year when we found out that we are not meant for each other because nobody wants to give in ., so what we did is to make a firm decision that we need to part ways because we are just wasting our time and seems like nobody wants to give up and follow ., sadly, it end up that way without fighting .,
@sexyposh (575)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
That is so sad that it didn't work out between the two of you. I'm not really familiar with INC but all I know is that they are a very solid church and you're really firm with your beliefs.. I have a friend also, she is a Catholic Christian and her boyfriend is an INC, like you they've been together for more than six years and still counting. Now they're considering of getting married but neither of them would give up their faiths. So they plan to work abroad and there will get married.
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
hello myliezl,
sad to hear your story but i am happy with the decision that you have made & i hope that you are happy too...
i understand how difficult it was but i know that better things will come your way...
by the way, i am also a member of Iglesia Ni Cristo.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
26 Jan 10
I would only if I strongly believed in it. If not, I would respect his right to believe as he did and I would expect that he'd be as considerate of me. When and if we had children they would learn about my feelings regarding religion as well as his and many other choices. The choice they make would be their own. My parents were Catholic and raised me as a Catholic. When I got older and the choice was mine I moved away from that religion. They were a little upset at first but not for long.It's your life and you are the one that is going to have to live with your choices so go with your heart.
@drakesuyat (1063)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
oh im a witness to this. my sis-in-law (catholic) fell deeply in love with an egyptian(muslim) that she gave up her faith for the love of his man. he was her bf in saudi and when my sis-in-law's contract finished, she went back home and the guy months after followed her here in the philippines where they got married. in makati city to be exact, in a small room with me and her sister standing as witnesses and that Imam(a muslim leader who has the power to bless a marrying couple). she was first ask if she's willing to give up her faith before she was converted into a muslim. she replied yes without hesitation. they're now living in egypt and she has adjusted with the culture very well.
@drakesuyat (1063)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
yes! i happened to chat with her a while ago and she's doing fine as a full time mom considering the fact that she is a licensed nurse. imagine how she gave up everything for the man of her life
. and she never had any regrets coz her husband is very good responsible man. btw, her husband is a dentist in egypt.
. and she never had any regrets coz her husband is very good responsible man. btw, her husband is a dentist in egypt.
@allyoftherain (7208)
• United States
25 Jan 10
I'd prefer to just avoid that kind of situation to begin with, and not get romantically involved with someone outside of my faith. I believe that people should be equally yoked, meaning they should both have the same faith. Now being Catholic and being Baptist is actually a very small difference, even if you might face fire from certain people. Being a Christian and being with a Muslim is considerably harder. I'm not saying it couldn't work, but there are a lot of problems in that kind of relationship... the least of which would be which faith do you teach your children.
@allyoftherain (7208)
• United States
26 Jan 10
But I would find teaching both a problem, since my personal faith is very important to me. I want to be able to teach my children what I believe the best I can. If they make a decision to go a different way I wouldn't disown them or stop loving them, but I would be heartbroken. It IS the parent's choice what to teach a child, even if some of the ultimate path the child takes is not what the parents taught. When you have a conflict on how to raise your children it raises conflicts in your marriage.
@gambamarcela (1012)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
I would never enter into a relationship with someone I don't have the same faith with,especially when th guy is really religious or a serious- type.The relationship would go nowhere besides marriage, right?.The first thing that I would consider is the guy's religion. So that if he decides to settle down, then there'll be no conflicts at all. I would also feel sorry for my future offspring if we decide to have separate religions.It will also be troublesome for them. So, to end future conflicts, I'd rather not commit with that guy.
@sexyposh (575)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
Yes I totally agree with you. I have the same perspective as you have before I met my fiance. I agree also that considering the faith of our future children. That is why I made a choice. But before I came to a final decision, I first went through a great contemplation because its really a serious matter...
@cajunmomma (624)
• United States
25 Jan 10
I say that if that person loves you enough, then they will place that aside and not even ask you to convert to another faith unless you choose to. The most they can do is ask you to come to the middle road with them when you two have a conflict between the two faiths.
@Galena (9110)
•
25 Jan 10
when you love someone, you accept them. and something so important to the one you love as their religion, you respect. if you don't, then you don't love them.
no one who loves you will ever expect you to change your religion for them.
and in all honesty, I don't believe anyone can DECIDE to change their religion. any more than you can DECIDE to believe that left is right and up is down.
so anyone that expects you to PRETEND to believe in what they do, and go through the motions while turning your back on what you TRULY believe in, is not even your friend. let alone your love.
my husband loves me, and I love him. he has no distinct religious beliefs, and he accepts that he can no more change the fact I am Pagan than he can change the colour of my eyes.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
hello sexyposh,
Giving up someone's faith for the sake of love is extreme.
If you may ask me...i will never give up my faith(GOD help me).
I know it would be a hard decision...this is a matter of heart-love...hurt-happiness.
It's also hard to judge those people who give up their faith in the name of love.
It's hard to understand their reason not unless we are on the same situation.
They had their reason...and we our reasons too.
Let's just hope that,no one regretted after doing so.
Have a good day always
@chikahdorah (269)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
Well, if this happened to me, I would have a deep talk with him. It doesn't have to be that way (someone giving up or someone sacrificing). Everything will be resolved if being talked seriously. if plan A failed, there is always a plan B.
@liuzhi (265)
• China
25 Jan 10
That's realllly a hot potato.But i think since they are couples,they should care about each other's feeling and accept some of his/her defects.So,husband should also consider the wife's religion belief.When they have a controversy,they should have a peaceful talk instead of only obeying unilaterally.Only my views~
@atebuds (187)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
I'm sorry but no. I will not give up my faith. I had a boyfriend before who was not a Catholic. Even if I loved him, I just couldn't give up the faith that I was born and grew up with. He tried to convert me, but unfortunately, the more I was decided to leave him. I felt that it might bring more problems later on if I continued my relationship with him. It's quite hard already to live with a person with different values. What more with someone who doesn't share the same faith with you.
@junrapmian (2169)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
If I love him so much, enough for me to give up my faith, then I'll follow him whatever his religion is. It only depends on what we believe in, but in the end, it only refers to one God. Different religion has different interpretation and different culture, we call God in different names, Jesus Christ for the Catholics, Allah for Islam, Jehovah for the Witnesses and so on. But we are all referring to the Maker. I guess, religion should not be an issue on any relationship, though, I know that many will oppose me. Well, this is my opinion, it should be love for your spouse that tops.
@blummus (451)
• United States
25 Jan 10
I don't see why you would have to give up your faith to marry. You still have your beliefs, and if he/she is not willing to marry someone whose view of God is different, then it's their loss. It's also your loss if you cannot love a person whose faith is different. If you are both believers in Jesus, then where are the issues unless they are issues made by Man? If *both* people are not willing to leave family and church to find a closer relationship with one another and with God, the marriage is already in trouble, as this will be a sort point between them for some time.
As for the Christian woman marrying a Islamic man, most of that faith will tell you they worship the same God. The Qur'an in fact allows such marriages.
@jlamela (4898)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
No, I would never give up my faith. Besides I have no plan to commit to a guy who is not the same with my religion. It's very difficult to live under one roof with a man who has different religious background. Although I have a great respect to all religion sectors, that's a different story when deciding to settle down.
There are several Catholic traditions and practices I observed and obeyed and I am afraid these might be sacrificed if I marry a guy not a Catholic. I kept praying to God to protect and guide every big decisions I make especially in choosing a partner in life.
