Maybe I over think things too much.....................????

@celticeagle (117156)
Boise, Idaho
February 27, 2010 4:24pm CST
I am looking for a room to rent. SOmething quiet and away from the chaos that I have at home. So, I answered a add from a possible renter and went to meet her today at her job. The room won't actually be available until toward the end of April because the tenant is in school and won't be out until then. The gal is very nice, quiet not much of a talker. She wants a quiet, calm invironment as I do. I told her about my family situation and why I wanted a room of my own far from the chaos. I told her about my background in customer service. That I have worked in that field for nearly thirty years, now retired and on SSD. Told about my ex, my guardianship of my grand daughter, that my daughter is bi-polar, etc. So at the end of the conversation/interview she said 'well, lets still keep looking and I could call in April if I was still interested. She seemed nice and to like me okay but nothing was established for sure. She also told me where the house was and I went by that area to check it out. I told her I would like to establish something for sure and that I would call around the 1st of April to see and that I could even give her some of the rent at that time. She was okay with that. So, what do you think? Does it sound promising? I am wondering if she was just being nice and was planning on finding someone else or if she genuinely liked me and I am a possibility. Hard to say. I hate to be left in the dark. Do you think she is being this way because of the time, it is still a ways away --? Or do you think she didn't really like me and was just being polite? I am just feeling unsure. I really liked the gal and think the house would be perfect. The 'vibe' seems okay. What are your thoughts? Hard to say. Maybe I shouldn't have said so much about my family and all. ????
2 people like this
12 responses
• United States
27 Feb 10
Hi, Celticeagle! I couldn't handle the suspense. I'd have to ask for a more committed response of some sort. But, of course, I'm not you! Are you still looking, in case that doesn't come through? You could find somethig as good or better, for which you wouldn't have to wait and wonder. Good luck with your quest.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (117156)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Feb 10
Well, I felt like she was being this way due to the fact that the tenant she has now is not going to be out of the room until late April and that is a way away. I thought perhaps she felt like not pin pointing anything now with that much time left. Ya know what I mean?
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (35470)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Mar 10
i know how you feel. its hard enough to make big decisions like that without having to wait and ponder your decision. btw, im not sure what you mean. are you moving with your daughter and granddaughter? if you are looking after them, how would you be able to just have a room? maybe im just dumb?
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117156)
• Boise, Idaho
7 Mar 10
No, I have been living with my daughter and her two kids. Now my daughter is wanting her independence and the apartment is getting too small so I am looking for a room to rent.
@bunnybon7 (35470)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Mar 10
i sure know that feeling. thats what happened with one of my daughters. then i just felt like she had used me till my money ran out good luck dear. i hope you find a lovely place
• India
28 Feb 10
It ain't April yet and methinks you are over thinking too much. Regards.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117156)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Mar 10
Me too! Thanks.
• India
1 Mar 10
welcome. enjoy life. regards
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
28 Feb 10
I think it may be promising but like you said..it's hard to say. I think you did the right thing by being upfront about yourself and whatever situation you felt comfortable about talking with her on. I think it's always better to be upfront with people that will eventually know these things anyway...or at least some of them. Now..why are you looking for a room? Is it because you want a getaway or is this going to be a place that you actually live?
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117156)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Mar 10
Ya, I think I did the right thing too. I would want my type of person if I were looking for a roommate and had a room to rent out. And she was easy to talk to and i felt a need to talk or I may have been alittle more descrete. I have had a return email from another lady with a room for rent who was very appreciative of my cander so I will not continue to take it too personally. I am looking for a room because---well, its a long story. My daughter is bi-polar. I told her long ago I would stay on and help her raise her son. She got manic and went against some promises she had made to me as far as how we would handle the finances. When I questioned her on she got nasty with me and said,"Why don't you just move out!" Then called me names. My counselor has told me I need to get a place of my own and then is the perfect time to do just that. I feel very sad that my daughter has chosen to take this attitude with me. I have done ALOT for her and thought we had a good thing going on. She just like not having money and manics get really bad about it.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
1 Mar 10
I see. I hate that she has taken that attitude too. Maybe a new apartment is a good thing and a new start. I definitely wouldn't take it personally if the lady before doesn't call. It's easy for someone from the outside looking in not to understand. It's probably not even that she didn't liked you. I hope you get a room soon. Take care.
@machivado (529)
• Indonesia
28 Feb 10
It's up to you man, but maybe you should at least ask her to stop you if she wants to. Your main objective s the house right? And you got the gal in bonus, so take it and hang in there
@celticeagle (117156)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Mar 10
You're right, man. I do. Thanks
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 10
I think that it can make things worse when you tend to think about something too much. I have certainly done this in the past and I don't feel that it did me any good but it increased my tension and worry and I would be asking a lot of 'what if' questions! I have learnt from that now and have tried to change the way I think and not to worry too much about anything. I think in your situation if it felt right to you inside then it probably is right! Your inner voice or vibes, they never lie to you. I'm sure the lady will consider you to be honest and genuine by the very fact that you disclosed your family situation to her. I really wouldn't worry about it and I'm pretty confident that everything is going to be fine for you and you will both get on very well. Good luck. Andrew
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117156)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Mar 10
Thank you, Andrew. I think this just happened when I was feeling very low and I tend to over think myself at that time. I am proud of myself that I am honest and forthright with people and if this gal thinks about it maybe she will appreciate it too. She isn't my only option.
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
Hmmm... I think you gave her too much information. But at least you gave her your expectations. But the sad thing there is, you didn't get a commitment that she'd give you the place. However, if I were you, I'd probably go looking more. It's not just because you're unsure of the situation, but perhaps looking would lead you to a better buy in terms of price and ambiance. If you know what I mean. But, feel free to call her by March to seek a commitment on whether or not she would give the place to you. If she does give commitment, try to pay her advance as a reservation to the place so as she won't change her mind. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117156)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Mar 10
I think so as well. I have until April and have already got a return email from another lady who really appreciated my honesty. So, I think this happened for a reason, was a wake-up call and I will watch closer what I say in the future. I just like to work with honest people and hope that others are the same.
27 Feb 10
She sounds like she's keeping her options open. If I were you, I'd carry on looking for a room. You may see one you like better or if you see one that's nearly as suitable as hers, use it as leverage. Tell her you've been offered a room but you weren't going to take it if you could definitely have hers. That would persuade her that she should make a decision one way or the other.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117156)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Feb 10
Good idea. I guess I just took her attitude alittle more to heart than I really had reason to. I like to know where I stand and didn't really have the right to ask her at this point so I felt like I was dangling.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
28 Feb 10
If renting a room to get away form all you go thro not sure if I would told so much but then to ya might of had too. ISnt it just for yourself and no one else!? I would wait and see call her around the 1st of April and see she didnt say first come forst served did she? ok then ya have a chance!
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
28 Feb 10
Well, if she's quiet and likes quiet, then she may think you're quite chatty and really don't want quiet as much as to get away. If someone went on and on about family drama and I was quiet, I would wonder if the drama would end up at the apartment. I've known people who moved away and the drama followed them. Did you ask anything about the room? Also if she can't really show it to you until the person leaves, that may have been some of it. Not sure if I would have told her quite so much. Just that you have a continuous income, can pay and the date you can pay every month. Also are the neighbor's quiet? That kind of thing. Where we live there are areas that aren't quiet. Some areas have 4 wheelers, snow mobils, ATVs and others have drunken college students. Also if you have any references from renting before.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
28 Feb 10
Sounds like you asked all the right questions. Also sounds like she is leaving her options open for now. Like the other people above, I think you should keep looking.
@qamarep (4451)
• Pakistan
28 Feb 10
cant you watch another room anywhere else. why are you hung up with that..may be yes she was trying to be a nice and she doesnt want you in
@celticeagle (117156)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Mar 10
You're right! Her loss. Thanks.
@Opal26 (17691)
• United States
28 Feb 10
Hey celtic~ I am going to tell you that maybe what you shouldn't have told her so much about your family situation. I think you might have raised some "red flags" and possibly scared her off! I am not trying to discourage you, but because I care so much for you, I am afraid that you might have said too much! I am like you are and am always giving "TMI" (too much information)! Sometimes that is not a good thing, but I am honest and can't help myself! The way she left it doesn't sound to me like she was all that interested. I'm afraid that you might have scared her off by telling her about your daughter and granddaughter situation! I would keep that part quiet when you go interview again! Although, it isn't anything to be ashamed of, it does raise "red flags" to someone who would rent you a room! I'm sorry Celtic, I am truly on your side and trying to help! Please don't be angry with me!
@celticeagle (117156)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Feb 10
Ya, I think so too. Wish I had it to do over. I guess live and learn. Guess I should be more closed moth just for security purposes anyway. Thanks. No I wouldn't be mad at you for being upfront with me.