What to do with someone who keeps disappointing you?

People letting you down - Frustrations on people at work
@bounce58 (17524)
Canada
March 24, 2010 4:54pm CST
Have you ever dealt with someone who keeps disappointing you? I work with this guy whom I keep having problems with. He keeps missing deadlines, commitments, and agreements. He is a senior in the union floor, so his attitude is pretty much one of ‘not-caring’. I’ve already tried everything with this guy. I already got angry with him, I had him given disciplinary actions, suspended one time. I even tried to be-friend him, short of hanging out with him after work. Still his attitude is the same. He still doesn’t care. Or do you have one like that at home? How do you deal with it? I got a lot of patience, but sometimes you could just feel that you’re just going to explode! Any tips?
3 people like this
11 responses
@jewels49 (1783)
• United States
26 Mar 10
I tend to let alot of stuff slide by subscribing to the attitude that I can only control my reaction to other people, not their behavior. In the case of constant repeat offenders, I tend to shut them out, even if I have to interact with them, I give them nothing, I don't waste emotion or energy on them at all.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
29 Mar 10
I have arrived to the same conclusion. That there is nothing I could do about his behaviour. I've requested his supervisor that he be moved to another department. That's me giving up. I would rather he be put in a position that he could do the least damage. Not where he is now, where he affects most of what I do. Thanks J.
@jewels49 (1783)
• United States
29 Mar 10
I wouldn't look at it as giving up bounce. You are making the choice to quit wasting energy on what is a lost cause.
• United States
24 Mar 10
Disappoint me Once Just once I never rely on you ever again. I Only work with you when I have to. But being this distant means I don't support you or do I keep you from falling. So sooner or later you will need me or wish you I had your back and I won't be there.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
27 Mar 10
I've learned enough about you Sarah, from all of the discussions here in myLot, to never ever cross you. Or never disappoint you. At least I know enough that it would be for my own good! Hehe! How've you been today? I guess the caps are running away with the President's trophy this year huh?
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 10
I am fine, better than fine I'm great. and yes the Caps are looking great I fear they win the Presidents Cup and they don't win The Stanley Cup.
@setsuna26 (2410)
• Philippines
27 Mar 10
If this person keeps on disappointing you i think you should do something bout it, like dont let this person get into you.Do not depend on him or her when it comes to sensitive issues concerning you.Well because you said he or she keeps on turning you down thats why you should think twice or more before you depend on this person.Just to avoid disappointment in the end
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
29 Mar 10
Hellos setsuna. Yes, I am doing something about him and the situation. I've requested that he be moved to another department. He is really getting to me, and the work that I do. So, I've put in the request. To where he couldn't do any damage to my work. Thanks for responding.
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Mar 10
hi bounce I take this is an older man and you are essentially his boss? Sounds like you have done just about all you can, outside of talking to him very sternly, I would get him in your office. Sit him down and tell him that either he does shape up or the alternative is he will lose his job and seeing the job market at least here in the U S is jus hideous. this might be enough to make him toe the line. Tell me I did not look at your profile I assumed you are a woman? well it should not matter if you are male or female you have done your best now its up to him, he either has to shape him or lose his job. that should do the trick.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
26 Mar 10
Hi Hatley. I wish it was just that simple. Yes he is an older guy. Although I work with him, he actually is from another department. He works in Receiving which ultimately affects every other department. They are like the gatekeepers of the company. They control what comes in, and they can hold stuff up for as long as they like. I've already complained to his supervisor and requested that he moved to another department.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 Mar 10
Living with... It's not that he doesn't care, it's that he doesn't 'get' what I'm saying. Over and over again.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
28 Mar 10
Maybe that's what the problem I have with this guy. Maybe he just doesn't get what I'm saying. Over and over again. Just funny though that I am not the only one having the problem. I know a number of people are also having the same problems with him. How do you ever cope?
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
29 Mar 10
I hide.
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
8 May 10
Yes, I've experienced this with a friend. I tried giving tips on how to improve his work. And yet, he keeps repeating the same mistakes. I'm really irritated with him because he doesn't seem to understand his errors. I hope one day he will lessen his "superiority complex" and finally learn to correct his ways.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
10 May 10
Maybe he's really not sort of into that kind of work. That's a reason to fire people. And it is not necessary a bad thing. It's just a way to point him to the right direction. But of course, some people take it personally. Goodluck dealing with this guy!
@RangaGirl (103)
• Australia
28 Mar 10
Disappoint me once and I'll overlook it. Disappoint me a second time and I stop expecting anything of you. I'm simply not prepared to put my faith in someone who does not come through. Since you have to work with this guy, I guess you don't have that luxury. Hard to fathom how he has kept his job for so long. In a work situation, I think I would try to work around him, not rely on him for anything. If he is affecting productivity or other people have to clean up his mess, I would be bringing that to the attention of his boss.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
29 Mar 10
You're right. I don't have that luxury. So, I am working around him by requesting that he be moved to another department. Secretly, I want him be cleaning toilets so that he may realize how good he had it. And shouldn't have held everybody else. Thanks RangaGirl.
@hvedra (1623)
25 Mar 10
Get rid of him or downgrade his job to something he can cope with. I think you've been more than reasonable but at the end of the day you can't make someone care who doesn't.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
28 Mar 10
I am trying to get rid of him by trying to get him moved to another department. Which is actually a downgrade! I am hoping that he soon will realize how good he had it already, and he messed it up by not caring. Thanks hvedra!
• Portugal
24 Mar 10
i agree that you need to confront him. Tell him no more and that his job is on the line. If that doesnt work you have done all you should and its time to let him go.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
27 Mar 10
Letting him go in this case is getting him transferred somewhere else. I'm thinking of the dirtiest job that nobody would like doing. Then maybe he'd realize the consequences of his actions. Thanks blogsblog.
@max1950 (2313)
• United States
24 Mar 10
you've tried 3 different things and it didnt work, 3 strikes he's out, fire his useless ash
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
25 Mar 10
I wish it was that easy! He doesn't directly report to me, just a dotted line. And his boss is a bit like himself. Plus, he's union. So, I'm not sure how to go about it. Thanks for the response, and the attitude!
@qamarep (4449)
• Pakistan
4 May 10
tell him that he is doing this knowingly or unknowingly..