To help or not to help?
By cobrateacher
@cobrateacher (8432)
United States
April 4, 2010 1:11pm CST
I'm very active on a site that's quite similar to this one, and I've met amazing people there. Several are authors, and their books are great joys to me. One, however, presents a problem.
M. writes wonderful short stories, and I cherish the books he's sent me. The problem is, he is in dire need of a much better editor than he has. Errors in grammar, syntax and even his usage of some words and phrases are quite poor. His books still sell quite wee, and they should.
I once asked if he had a good editor, trying to get him to see that he needs one. He said he's very happy with his secretary doing the editing. I wouldn't be surprised if she's his wife or a relative, as she is not at all skilled as an editor.
Would you risk losing a friendship and let him know his work needs substantial editing? Would you just read and enjoy them, thus maintaining a nice friendship?
3 people like this
14 responses
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Thanks. He's published four books so far, and a fifth is in the works. Nobody seems to have a problem with the conventions of English but me!
Frankly, when I hinted at it by asking who edits his work, I hoped he'd hire me to do the job!
1 person likes this
@urbandekay (18278)
•
8 Apr 10
Well, if he sells it is different. If it ain't Failed Under Continuous Testing ED don't fix it!
all the best urban
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
7 Apr 10
Urban, I keep trying to get up the nerve, but then I remember asking him about the editing before, and he blew it off. I don't want to offend a friend and a wonderful writer who's, frankly, selling very well, in spite of the errors!
Joanne
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
4 Apr 10
Hi cobrateacher, I think that the teacher in me will take over and will return the book with spelling mistakes marked in red. I think you are doing him a good service if you piont all this to him. He might get offended at first but if he really treasures your friendship and trusts you than he knows that you wish him well. I would be flattered if you critized me genuinely. Unfortunately my forte is Maltese. I cannot send you my short stories.... :(
1 person likes this
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Ah, my friend,
How very few people welcome unsolicited criticism, no matter how appropriate!
I'd be willing to bet they're wonderful - wish I could read them!
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
6 Apr 10
That is very true. When I first dated my husband, he asked me about content. I tried to fix the grammar and spelling, he became upset and took it persomally.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
6 Apr 10
You've already approached the subject once and he didn't take the hint. Had he been interested the first time, then it would have been open for discussion. But he seems closed to it. Perhaps someone edited his work to the point where it didn't say what he wanted it to say? Or maybe he's looked into editors and they want as much money as he's making selling books or more? Unless you pick the book apart right in front of him, he probably won't see what you mean and even if you do, I think he'd be very upset.
1 person likes this
@CallieWVU2 (520)
• United States
4 Apr 10
that is a difficult problem...given that his work sells well, do you know if that means if he has a publisher? or if he self-publishes? If he has a publisher then when they send the manuscript over with all the secretary's obvious mistakes to the publishing house, if their going to accept it, they go over it and make it error free, so I see no need to tell him to get a better "editor" unless he self-publishes, and the errors are in the books he writes...but i've read some very well to do authors and every once in awhile I'll spot a word that should be there but isn't...it really trips you up, but you love the story anyway so you keep on going, so if he self publishes I'd just say that "Your work is really amazing, but think how even better it could be with an experienced editor" is how i'd look at it.
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Hi, Callie!
He does self-publish, but his books have all been picked up by larger publishers and re-released. I'm amazed that they don't do a re-edit when they buy the rights...
1 person likes this
@momtrying2makeit (3270)
• United States
5 Apr 10
I think if he or she is asking your opinion on this stuff than you might want to be honest. They are trusting you to give your thoughts and feelings and it sounds like you enjoy what he or she writes about but feel the grammer could be better. Be honest is what I say I think that is what I would want:) Hope this helps you in the choice you need to make.
1 person likes this
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
5 Apr 10
If only he would ask!!! What he asks about is strictly content...
@billzehua (573)
• China
14 Apr 10
Hi Joanna,I think solid friendship should alway bear the sincere critisms from around.that's for our own good to have some find out our downsides.I feel so blessed now to be able to be open to suggestions from my friends, sometimes the suggestions are really harsh.But at that times,we are the one who should be genrous to take that up.what we should keep in mind is that our friends are not evil.Btw, what's that website, i m interested in trying it as well.
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
5 Apr 10
I would probably tell him in a nice way that his work still needs substantial editing. His secretary is not doing that good a job. Sometimes no matter how nice you try to be, they still take it the wrong way, though. I think as long as you tell him in a tactful way, there shouldn't be any problems. At least I hope not. Kathy.
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Hi, Kathy!
This guy writes extremely romantic stories, and he's very emotional. that's why I'm afraid he'll take anything I say as criticism. I'm working up the nerve to tell him. Gradually...
Joanne
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
5 Apr 10
I wish that thing about friends were true, even for those who are very emotional and easily offended!
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
You have to tell him. If this goes on then it would be a greater problem. It's better that you fix this than letting it go on by just pretending that everything's alright. Besides, your just being a friend by telling him, right?
1 person likes this
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Oh, frontvisions, how I hope you're right. I'm tempted to send him a copy of one of his books with all the proofing marks, to show that the work needs help. The stories are wonderful, so they almost make me skip over the errors. Still, I have worked as an editor, and I'm an English teacher, so it's just irresistable!
1 person likes this
@machivado (528)
• Indonesia
5 Apr 10
It always a hard decision to make when it comes to someone close to us...But I guess if we can manage to tell the truth in a nice way and still give them support, I guess it will turn out OK....It's a good thing to give motivation first then we can comment..
1 person likes this
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
5 Apr 10
You're so right, machivado! I just hope M. will take it as it's meant!
@lys20082008 (71)
• Pudong, China
5 Apr 10
Hi,friend.Just tell him the truth.He won't blame you because you are doing him good!I think friendship is not only built upon sharing happiness with each other but also upon sharing worries!You are a real friend!
1 person likes this
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Hi, lys!
Thanks for the comment. I'm afraid he's too emotional not to be terribly hurt!
