How important is RESPECT in a relationship?
By laydee
@laydee (12798)
Philippines
April 12, 2010 6:33am CST
***DiScLaImEr** Not for the faint-hearted.
How would it feel to you, if you and your fiance went on a date. The ambiance is not that 'formal', it's actually just a hanging out place where people drink in front of the sea.
Now, both are having a great time, then the meal is served. Particularly, grilled fish with garlic rice, some crabs and shrimps. Seafood menu.
Suddenly, the guy (your fiance) suggests that you two should now be comfortable with each other since you're getting married in a few months. He then gets a spoonful of grilled fish, gesturing you do it too, then places it in front of you (the chewed fish) and signals you do the same. Then suggest, you eat his chewed food, and he eats yours.
Would you do it?
I tell you that this scenario happened but it didn't happen to me. A friend told me such and she was the girl. Do you think you're being respected with this type of scenario?
5 people like this
18 responses
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
12 Apr 10
I can tell you that I would not do this. When my husband and I were engaged we wouldn't do it, and now that we're married, we wouldn't do it. I don't mind eating after him, but something he's already chewed and half digested practically, I wouldn't eat. I think it's just weird! It is definitely something interesting to think about, though. I think for my husband and me, it has nothing to do with respect. If you respect one another, you will think of the other person before yourself. I know that my husband wouldn't want to eat my chewed up food, so I don't suggest he do it - LOL! Thanks for bringing up such an interesting topic. 
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
1 May 10
I'm glad you mentioned this because after responding to this discussion, I did, in fact, ask my husband how he would feel about this gesture when we were engaged as well as now that we're married. He said it would be disgusting and repulsive to him no matter when if I were to do something like that! That is the honest truth. I know the way he is as well, and I can say for me that I would not do this either. I'm sure some people would, so that is their experience to try in order to find out how their significant other would respond to the situation. I'm sure there are other things we would try in our relationship that other people may not be willing to try, which is completely understandable. Thanks again for asking and taking the discussion even further. Excellent comment!
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
30 Apr 10
In my opinion respect and trust are the two basic need in a relationship, i am married since 44 years, we have respect and full trust for each other..
I will never ask my wife to eat the food i chewed, but sometimes we eat from the same plate using our hands..
Thanks, God bless you. cheers
Happy posting. 
Prof 
Happy posting.
Prof
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1825)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
This is really funny. I thought you were gonna say something serious. 
I don't think it's disrespectful because when they get married they will be doing things that are a lot worse (or better 
) than eating each other's chewed food. If I were your friend I won't eat it because it's disgusting.
I don't think it's disrespectful because when they get married they will be doing things that are a lot worse (or better ) than eating each other's chewed food. If I were your friend I won't eat it because it's disgusting.1 person likes this
@monkeylong (3139)
• Guangzhou, China
13 Apr 10
Yeah, as far as I am concerned, I think respect is so important in my daily life. If someone who just does not respect others, then there will be few people want to respects him. He will live without friends. I think that kind of life will be so difficult for him.
1 person likes this
@jenny08 (136)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
in any kind of relationship,respect is very important one...in lovers,when respect is the start in their relationship honesty,humbleness,and love will also follow to that.,and the promise blessing is a successful family and if they continue what they have started they will become happy...
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
12 Apr 10
I have never come across that sort of a thing lol it is a bit strange
I do not think I would have eaten it as in my eyes it is a bit disgusting
Respect is very important in any Relationship, to be honest though I think I would have lost my respect for the Bloke to even ask that sort of a thing
Sorry but that is my opinion
As for me being respected, not so much not being respected but disgusted that he would ask this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
12 Apr 10
That is a pretty strange idea I think. It sort of reminds me of our wedding tradition where the couple feeds eachother and eats with the same spoon, but there is a big difference. I think that the wedding tradition is a sweet way to show that two people belong together, but there is nothing cute about chewing eachother's food, I think that is pretty disgusting. I don't see the point in doing something like that, and I don't think that is a way of showing that you are comfortable with eachother. To me it sounds like he was testing her and that he was trying to find out how far he could go.
1 person likes this
@xxazndragon01 (1250)
• United States
12 Apr 10
well to be honest a guy like me would not do that but i would like do something on the line of that like i would put a handful of pop corn in my mouth when we go to the movies,ran around in the sand with just boxers on and so many other things that make my girlfriend feel weird but she still enjoys it cause she knows im messing around and so should your friend she should respect that man for what he has given in the relationship not for his flaws as a human being
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 Apr 10
I would understand if he goes and does that - the cute kind of way where you'll not be humiliated that much and your dignity wouldn't be stepped at. I don't mind if there are casual joking around, but the gesture just made me feel that he doesn't care what he feeds me as long as it's funny for him.
What do you think?
@Cherwin2010 (878)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
if your partners really love you, the respect is also there. if he/she respect you then he/she loves you. but for this situation i guess this guy is stupid, his action is very offending. his not respect to a girl. he must pursue his girl to do what he want.
@pinhornudo (437)
• Brazil
12 Apr 10
Respect is like a base, a base to construct your relationship.
You can't construct a home without base. Or, better saying, you can't construct a relationship without respect.
How can you live the rest of your life or a long time of your life with a person that doesn't respect you. You just can't, no one can.
1 person likes this
@drshav (205)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
Let me comment something about the story u just told. I think the guy is only testing the girl why he have done that. Maybe he just want to see how far she can accept him as he is. If im in that situation ill find it gross at first then laugh about it afterwards.
Now with your question how important respect is? I will say respect is very important. Respect is very important in any kind of relationship. If you respect someone then everything will follow. If theres respect then you wont hurt the one you love.
1 person likes this
@mesmerizer (110)
• India
12 Apr 10
Hi laydee, what your friend has experienced is really making me sick.In fact if I were in her place ,I would have thrown the chewed fish on the guy's face.I mean loving somebdy doesnt mean you prove your love in this way.This is pathetic.And if people do not have the minimal respect for each other,they should not be expecting the same for themselves either.
@jeffdepositar (102)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
Respect is very important in a relationship because it means that each person values who the other one is, understand and would never challenge the other persons bounderies. I belive that love and respect should always exist together so that u could attain harmonious relationship. When you love somebody you make only good things to them and when u respect somebody you acknowledge the right of the person to decide about what is actually good for them and you bette combined both feeling for some fulfillment;)
1 person likes this
@damsel_prerna (863)
• India
12 Apr 10
Hello Laydee,
Well, this is sounding really very wired and funny to me. I mean I really cant think of anything, I might deny having the chewed fish or might even have. Depending how close we are to each other, there should be no issue in having his chewed food. I don't think its disrespectful.
Thanks and Regards,
Prerna Seth.
@Dumpertaker (1187)
•
12 Apr 10
That seems a rather odd thing to do...
I do believe that you need to trust and respect each other in a relationship, but that is not something I'd do or expect to have done to me either.
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
12 Apr 10
respect and trust are the biggest. because if your spouce isnt respecting you and they are treating you wrong then it show they dont love you
@newtalent (1112)
• United States
12 Apr 10
I have to say that this sounds like the beginning of a controlling relationship. I mean, if she is with it, then I guess, go for it. I, on the other hand, would look at the big picture, is this his normal behavior? Is this a new side to him that has not been present before? I would look for more clues. This to me is not normal behavior, We are not birds that have to have food chewed up for us. I would not do that to my baby when she was baby. What other quirky things does he like to do? It is hard to gauge a person, but if you feel uncomfortable, that is what we call a red flag and take the warning. I would take a step back and re-evaluate the whole relationship. Good luck and I hope she can find the answers she is looking for.
1 person likes this
