Would you ever allow your child to make fun of his own cousin?
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
May 12, 2010 12:41pm CST
This happened to me. I had stayed the weekend at my cousin's house. And she, her mom, and her two sons went out to go get breakfast that morning. So, they asked me if I could stay at the house and keep an eye on things until they got back. And I did. I had no problem with doing this favor for them. I loved them so much. I was happy to spend the night with them on this weekend. So, they went to go get breakfast, and they came back. When they got back, I came in the kitchen because I think that I was the one that opened up the front door to let them in. And they came in carrying bags from McDonald's. And as they were walking in, this is what her son said to me. "We went to McDonald's and we did not brought you anything back to eat!" He looked right at me with a smirk expression. I looked at my aunt and cousin and they looked at me and they did not say a word to me. I was shocked. Even if I was or was not expecting anything to eat, I still felt that he should have not said anything like this. And his mom stood right there and she did not say anything to him. It was like she agreed with him. All that I have done for this family and this is how they treat me??? This did make me feel bad, like I was not wanted.
I remember another time her and her mom was talking in the bathroom closed up together. I know that they were talking about me. And later on that day, I happened to come into the bathroom to talk to my cousin, and she mentioned that, "you know that you can't be coming to our house to eat all of the time." I was like, What!!!
When I come to their house, they hardly would offer me anything to eat or to drink. If I was very thirsty, they would not even offer me a cold glass of water. I can be at their house for hours and they would not offer me anything to eat or to drink. This was their house, and I just did not want to just go and help myself to whatever that they had in their refrigerator. That is not respectable at all.
This girl is my daddy's niece. And her mom is my daddy's sister. If they were at my home whether it was expected or unexpected, I would at least offer them something to drink or to eat. Why are they treating me like this?? They act like I just came off of the street from somewhere.
I remember another time her and her mom was talking in the bathroom closed up together. I know that they were talking about me. And later on that day, I happened to come into the bathroom to talk to my cousin, and she mentioned that, "you know that you can't be coming to our house to eat all of the time." I was like, What!!! When I come to their house, they hardly would offer me anything to eat or to drink. If I was very thirsty, they would not even offer me a cold glass of water. I can be at their house for hours and they would not offer me anything to eat or to drink. This was their house, and I just did not want to just go and help myself to whatever that they had in their refrigerator. That is not respectable at all.
This girl is my daddy's niece. And her mom is my daddy's sister. If they were at my home whether it was expected or unexpected, I would at least offer them something to drink or to eat. Why are they treating me like this?? They act like I just came off of the street from somewhere.3 people like this
14 responses
@ongtina (1232)
• Singapore
13 May 10
I think that's really impolite and bad of them. Well, at least you know it's not you that do not have manners heeheehee, so you can be happy and proud of yourself for being the well mannered person, and your parents would also be happy that you've grown up well.
3 people like this
@zedrick_11 (931)
• Philippines
13 May 10
if they are just making fun or playing with each others with the sense of fun of course i will, but if it sense of bullying of course not..
Don't let your child to be a bully because you may regret it someday..
3 people like this
@celticeagle (160797)
• Boise, Idaho
12 May 10
I think these people are selfish, disrespectful, atingy and nasty to you. I would back away from them alittle or I think you are going to get very hurt by them. I hope that you are strong enough to be able to set up some boundaries of your own and not let them enfringe on you and be this way to you anymore.
3 people like this
@stephbond89 (359)
•
12 May 10
How old are your cousins? If they are very young, then although it is mean and if it was my child I would tell them to behave, but if they are very young, they are not doing it to be nasty. I have nieces and nephews who talk to each other like that (my sisters children), and they mean no harm by it.
If they are older, then they should know better.
Either way, their mother should say something about it to them, and tell them to behave, but maybe she doesn't see it as been mean, just banter. Maybe you should talk to your dad about it, he will speak to his sister and see what the problem is.
If they are young children then its very different to if they are older (mid teens to adult).
3 people like this
@elvira1 (101)
• Philippines
12 May 10
I would never ever do it to my nieces/nephews. I'd teach my children good manners. We, parents, know what is right and wrong than our children. I am proud to say that our parents never allow things like this happen and this is what I am doing to my kids now. Being a good example to our children will mold them into a good person as they grow. We should always remember that our children are looking up on us. Let us be responsible enough in everything that we do before the eyes of our children.
3 people like this
@rinzgca (316)
• Philippines
12 May 10
No. I would not allow my child to do that. In fact, if he did that, I would give him a piece of my mind if he ever acts so rude to other family members. But I think, part to blame in this situation are the parents, either the dad or the mom. Because they allow it. In my family, I have questionable relatives. They are kinda poor and we are just a bit well off than them. They would always borrow money and say they'll pay but they never do. You'd think that whenever they come to the house, they would just borrow money. But my brothers and I don't treat them bad. We don't say 'hey, you only come here to borrow money, but you never pay.' So there.
But anyway, your relatives have very poor manners. They shouldn't treat you that way coz you are not a stranger but a first cousin! Oh well, you can't change them. Might as well hang out with the other cousins.
3 people like this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
12 May 10
Sounds like you have some bad relatives that don't care. Do you have cousins on your moms side of the family? If so, and if they treat you well, I'd spend time with them and leave the other cousins on their own. They obviously are not respectful of your feelings..
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
12 May 10
Hi, carmelanirel. On my mother's side, my aunts and cousins don't act like this at all. On of my aunts will offer me something to eat and drink when I come to visit her even for only a couple of more hours.. But the relatives that are on my daddy side of the family, would not do this. I don't know about the other family members, but it sure does happen with them..
2 people like this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
12 May 10
Well cream you can't change them, so my advice is to spend more time with your other cousins.
2 people like this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
13 May 10
All man are selfish, din u realise that?? MAybe her mom, does not like u right from the start, way before u got married to your husband??
Or maybe, they see u as a target to be bullied, and thus they are treating u in this way.. And if u were to tell your husband, and your husband confront them, it will only be making things much worse..
THere's nothing much u can do, and u cant even be avoiding go there.. Because if u reject in helping them, they are bound to be talking bad about u again!! 
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
13 May 10
Cream they sound like what the mental health people call toxic relatives. I think for awhile I would give them the cold shoulder as they evidently do not know how to treat close relatives or even friends. I would not let friends visit all day and not offer food and drink,its just politeness and common decency. I wonder if in some way they are jealous of you for
some reason.I would show them a bit of coolness as they were very rude
to you.
2 people like this
@tcup345 (358)
• United States
13 May 10
These folks are very rude. I would suggest that you do not return, you do not need the company of such self-centered, selfish people. You sound like a very sweet person who doesn't deserve to be hurt that way. The saddest part is they are raising their son to be just as rude as they are. Stay away for your own peace of mind.
1 person likes this
@geniustiger (1694)
• Philippines
13 May 10
Yes I would allow them because they are cousins.
No wrong out of it instead of having some bad
habits I would not. I think your aunt and cousins
have different way of living than yours. They
are not hospitable with their relatives and not
kind to their own keens and blood. Their is the
attitude like that hard to handle if that happened
to me I will not go there in their house anymore.
And tell all about to your daddy and might be
avoid them not good to treat also.
I hate that kind of people even though you are
related seems that you are not. I will not help
with them rather I will stay at home than having
fun with no persons no heart to their related
strings.
1 person likes this
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
13 May 10
Well if you do so much for them it is time to stop. Those who take advantage of people on a regular basis try to turn the tables and make it look as though the person they are taking advantage of is the one doing the taking. It is classic "make them look worse then me" scenario. So it's time to not go there and only talk to them on family occasions that it is a must. When they realize how much you did for them they will probably talk smack as it will madden them that you wised up and are no longer letting them do this. Let them, who cares. You deserve to be with people who care and would never let a family member go hungry or even worry about it. Your Aunt is raising selfish children and obviously couldn't care less who knows it, rudeness too seems to be a virtue she is passing down. If this is something you feel needs to be addressed go to your father and discuss it with him. One of two things will happen either he has had to deal with it in the past or will see something that maybe you do not.
1 person likes this
@ndubose (418)
• United States
13 May 10
Well that is not right all the way around.....Now I see why people say that you treat your friends better than family...It is crazy there is no closeness within the family like in the old days the respect levels is gone and it is sad, my guy is the same way sometimes his brother came over and he wanted to make him sleep on the couch without a blanket....That was so horrible...Whether it a friend or family you stay at my house and you will definitely get the star treatment but i have been to family and friends house and they don't follow the same guidelines...it truly sucks....
@vijaesh (2)
• India
14 May 10
surely not. Making Fun of others mayt seem harmless at first but when one is subjet to it themselves we feel the seriousness of the "very simple thing done in jest "
it sometimes sploils the lives of brittle individuals who start thinking they are upto no good. because of the un nessary needling by their friends /family circles.
So better nip this habit in the bud by explaining to a chils that that kind of behaviour makes his/her parents unhapppy ...so to convince them to desist from making fun of others. so a child grows more responsible
