What Can You Say About Office Affairs?

Philippines
September 25, 2010 12:29am CST
It has only been 2 weeks since I started volunteering for this government office for a private-government partnership program and got to know some of the people I encounter on a daily basis. It's really none of my business but then I just can't help noticing the affairs that are coming out too obviously. These are boss-secretary affairs and boss- employee affair. Okay here is the scenario the boss in one department who is married has a long time affair with one of the employees ( who is also married) in his department, but for 4 months now the boss was having his office upstairs in the executive office and at the same time in his department. But he has been spending an awful lot of time in the executive office. It is pretty obvious that this boss is having an affair with one of the office secretary in the executive office. Other employees have been talking about them because they are well too darn obvious! Though it's none of my business the thing that strikes me is that could they not carry on with their affairs secretly and not be obvious about it? I don't mean to sound like I am preaching but in the first place it is wrong to have an affair when you are married and that is called adultery. Nest is that this is a government office and he is a boss I guess with all decency he should respect his position. Now they are stepping on other people's toes when the office secretary was promoted to a regular position from the lowest position without passing through the hierarchy. There are pending promotions way ahead of the office secretary that was by passed and thus it can't be helped that the other employees are mad about it. So what are your thoughts about this? What can you say of a boss who is philandering behind his wife's back? How would you feel if you were one of those employees whose promotion was by passed?
6 people like this
14 responses
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
25 Sep 10
It isn't surprised at all in this time. Most of boss do that, I believe more then 70% of them. Some of them do that cause they feel their wife to old, not interesting anymore, etc. While the employee or secretary, they do it or get fired.Even some of them do it to get the facility from the boss. While for the wife in the home, some of them prefer to silent even they know.They don't care as long as they still get the monthly bugdet.Or the bos still do his job as a husband and a father. For me, a successfull are everything.But I won't do anything to get it.Specially the unfair,cheat,etc. I prefer get failed but try the best I could, rather then succeed without doing hardwork.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
yes same thoughts here dear...I do not think that by doing so would make you successfu;...oe perhaps you will but could you really say that you got to the top because you worked hard?
1 person likes this
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
25 Sep 10
People only can try or do the best, while all depend on the God. For me, it doesn't matter whether I succeed or failed. The important is, I have try to do the best. Better to do it by my own self rather then wondering or hoping. Or get something that given by someone. I prefer get something that given by the God, while we know that God won't give us something if we don't try to get it. For me, before do something I pray, in the process I pray and after that I pray again. It make me more enjoyable to wait the result.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Though it is sweeter to believe they were having an affair, there shouldn't be any claims until proven. No evidence, no power, just gossip. I can't agree on habits of accusing without any proof.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
well i think it is gossip when it is not obvious and people do not see it. but when people from the office see it because they obviously display whatever affection is between them ...then i guess it is no longer a gossip...action speaks louder than words.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
26 Sep 10
I kind of agree with Cowboy. I worked in a big office for years. One thing I learned is that there is an awful lot of flirting that goes on and it could easily appear to some that it is something more when in fact it is not. When you work with someone day to day for a long time, you get comfortable and a lot of the flirting is just in fun and would never ever go any further. Although affairs do happen within the office and it is wrong, I have to say that many many times, it all wasn't what it appeared to be and even when others talked. Another point I would like to make is that when an affair was discovered to be true and usually because they were caught in the act, it was more often than not a shock to all of us. Why? Because the ones that were really carrying on the affairs were far more discreet than those that openly flirted around. Also, just because a boss plays favorites and the woman flirts with him, it does not mean that they are actually having an affair. It could mean that he would like to but it doesn't mean that they actually are.
• Philippines
26 Sep 10
as someone who also works in an government office, i would say it is very improper for your boss and colleague to do it in the first place being married and all, but above all else, being blatant about it, displaying it for everyone to know is undesirable. they are entitled to their own moral upkeep but doing it in an office where the prominent TRUST is a factor, it would destroy not only their credibility but your whole office as well. the management should do something about this, before its too late. the civil service upholds laws and policies governing proper norms and conduct in the office and what your boss or colleague is doing is a flagrant violation of these laws. and if i am one of those employees who was passed by promotion because he wants to please paramour by letting her get the promotion instead, i will take matters into my own hands and complain to the highest office possible, to uncover the whole truth on the process. if you will just keep mum about and will not do anything about it, chances are, he will repeat it again, not on same level perhaps but on the level of giving favor to his paramour, all other deserving employees will suffer. so you had better take action.as to his philandering ways, well, it's his call, but you can't keep the smoke from getting out forever, can he?
• Philippines
26 Sep 10
i agree with you and thank you for commenting. Yes he can't keep the smoke out forever especially with the public delay of affection and what he has done lately for her that has shocked most employees. That he was the one who personally taken care of her voucher and processed her salary ...i mean does that mean nothing? lol what boss would ever do that? and the way behave... at least they should be discreet and respect the office they work in.
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Hi! There's not much we can do about it, I suppose. It is cultural. You could also say it is a means-end thing. Or a power thing. Authority couple with money has its power-lure. There could be lots of reasons why couples enter into this kind of relationship. But I pity the girls, though. Bottom line, husbands seldom leave their wives. Or when if they do, in the end, they go back to their original families. So where does that leave the single or married women who enter into illicit affairs? On the guy side, our double standard culture gives them license to enter into relationships outside of wedlock. Something to brag about. Gives them the illusion of power. If I were bypassed by someone who used relationship to get promoted, it just means I can't do what she is doing and that I Kept my values and principles intact. Perhaps, this is not the place for me and should look for a more promising environment.
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Hello figurativeme, I am very sure that those employees are thinking just that. they felt sad for having this kind of illegal promotion just because of lust took over. well, it's just part of life. but i gotta admit some people do talked about it because it's a complete scandal. or some times, they envy them.
• Pamplona, Spain
1 Oct 10
Hiya candy, Although I knew about affairs that were going on and promotions that were obviously unfair. Quite a few of them actually this happened in two or three places where I worked. Everyone would sit next to me and tell me the latest I would listen but not rally hear them which is the best thing to do. I would smile and laugh a bit with them but I would not bad mouth about those People. It is their own life and what they did with it was not my business. I can understand how you feel but I have lived this like I told you before and I liked the People who were involved too but not enough to be friends with them.
• United States
29 Sep 10
i always hate to see that! and i have seen it alot! it always irked me how they would be married and yet it would be obvious and i would always wonder if their partners knew or not and office parties where you can bring your family were always uncomfortable!! to me if you are going to do it hide it!
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
27 Sep 10
I would definitely be upset with the fact that I had been passed by for a promotion because of affairs that were happening in the office. In addition to that, I don't think that there is any time that is acceptible for a husband or a wife to cheat on their spouse. That is one of the few behaviors that people have in their life that really does have a tendency to make me sick. Why do people bother getting married if they aren't able to be faithful to their spouse.
@manleyjoe (1599)
• United States
27 Sep 10
Candy, The real thing that is on my mind here is that this is a gov't office. It is therefore supported by tax monies that hard working folks are paying thes people to work not play hanky panky in the office. If they want to disobey God then let them do it after work not make the taxpayers foot the bill.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
26 Sep 10
For years, I worked in an office where this stuff was all around me. The affairs within the office were obivious and many. Then again sometimes, things were not as they appeared. I just ignored it all and did not even talk about it with others. As for the promotion, I can understand why that would bother some especially if they knew for sure that it was because he was playing favorites. It's really hard to prove such things.
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
I feel sad for the Spouses of these MORONS! they had no idea what's going on with their Partners in the Office. well, that's the reality of life, most specially to those who like to play with fire. . Of course, if you had power, money and probably the looks. with right timing, it can happen. I think you have the right to preach. this B*tchy employee i think took advantage of the situation for her to get promoted. is it love? or LUST? they dare do that and doesn't know how to keep it a secret? i think some one needs to put up a CCTV now to confirm. it shouldn't be allowed. it would discourage employees from being motivated to work.
@tammytwo (4303)
• United States
25 Sep 10
It is morally wrong to have an affair. It is also wrong that people are being promoted when others truly deserve it. I don't know what I would do in such a case as yours but I do know I would be upset about it. What they are doing is wrong and something should be done about it.
• Finland
25 Sep 10
as per opinion 56 percentage love story/ affairs started by office
@jennbart (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Actually, I really do not think of it in any way. No negative or positive thoughts on it. Just make sure that the couple are not into PDA in front of me or I will really cringe and tell them off to stop crawling to each other. So far there are no couple who are doing such in our office even if the people has their own gf's or bf's in the office. Just make sure they behave properly thats it....
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
thus scenario are always an issue in almost all office and work place. things happen and it has been a practice anyway