My husband is poor because he is too kind....
By yspmyl
@yspmyl (3435)
Malaysia
October 21, 2010 4:49am CST
My colleague tell this to us, her husband is too kind and when every time, any of the family member ask money from her husband, her husband will be willingly give them the money even thought his earning not so much.
I do not understand why she tell us this, I think her husband is so nice to be kind and willing to share what he earn with the family. This is something good, don't you think so. And when you did something good, you will probably have more people to help you whenever you need help.
20 responses
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
21 Oct 10
When a person is generous he cannot be called poor, because in the eyes of the Lord he is the richest person. He may have not enough material wealth as he shares all of them but he will be blessed more than those who just receive.
@TrvlArrngr (4045)
• United States
21 Oct 10
I used to be that way too! and people walked all over me. Now I am careful and do not help everyone or offer to pay the bill when eating out with friends. I need the money just as much. If I can work a full time job and 2 part time jobs then anyone can! lol. I refuse to be a door mat anymore.
@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
I think the reason why your colleague is complaining is because her husband gives to his parents, siblings or relatives even if his earnings is not enough to provide for the needs on his immediate family (wife and kids). Otherwise, she would not really complain about it. I do believe that there are people who are like that, those who can't refuse extending help to his relatives when they are in need. Indeed, he is really kind, but still, he must learn to draw the line and prioritize his own family first.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
28 Oct 10
Yes, he really over give to his parents and siblings. Her wife complaint that she had to come out her own money to buy the milk powder for her baby. I think sometime if you are to kind to others people, you will probably being take advantage by others. I think if you want to be kind to others, you need to save enough for your own family or your baby first before you help or give to others.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
28 Oct 10
Haha, that is not my husband but my colleague's husband, I will never have a husband because I am male..
He has so little income and yet to be too kind to others and did not think about the immediate family first, that is why his wife said that he is poor because he is too kind.
He has so little income and yet to be too kind to others and did not think about the immediate family first, that is why his wife said that he is poor because he is too kind.
@deepikavivek10 (133)
• India
25 Oct 10
About giving money to parents, my friend always complains about her mother in law who spents more than she does. They all stay together. Have no clues why she keeps complaining. I doubt that their parents are dependant on her husband's money, probably the reason she complains.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
28 Oct 10
My mother in law too using too much of water but not money, when she came to my house to stay for 2 weeks, the water bills went up double. Haha..that is something out of the topic, now back to the topic..Your friends husband probably gave the mother too much money to spend and that is why she's complaining.
@mhy_pie03 (68)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
I think I can somehow relate to this. My father is actually called a Ssnta Claus because he gives away money every Christmas then it tunred out to be a nightmare for us. Everytime they(other relatives) needed money, he easily gives away. He earns a lot before so it's understandable why he's so generous but the thing is every time he loses a job, he wants us to pity the same old situation he has and at most times makes us feel we are to be blamed. For the past years he's earned bigtime, he hasn't saved much for his future retirement forcing himself to work as of this writing. My common advice? When a man gets married, he has to set the record that his first priority is his immediate family. If he's having second thoughts about this before getting married then might as well be a single charitable man. Same thing with the children that once they have their own family, they should no longer ask from their parents as the obligation is no longer theirs (parent). You are not being a real generous person if you let your people suffer the consequences of your poor and unreasonable decisions in life. But don't get me wrong, sharing your financial blessings are all perfect in God's eyes but it's a case-to-case basis. Those who keep on asking and asking but does not work on their own to sustain their needs are irresponsible and should not be given the fish to learn the lesson.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
28 Oct 10
Wow! You have a Santa Claus at home! I think nowadays there are not many great and generous peoples like your father anymore. A lot of them have distinct-ed. Sometime too kind is something bad, it is not bad for the peoples around him/her but bad for the immediate family.
@dorisday1971 (5657)
• Philippines
21 Oct 10
The more yo give, the more blessings you will receive.
Maybe that husband is living to that motto.
There is nothing wrong with giving. But learn to save also for your family.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Oct 10
yspmyl I think she may mean that sometimes people take advantage of him and thats sad as of course he is really a very good man. Yes it is good, but again people who could probably either do without something or work harder to achieve it for themselves will take advantage of a very kind hard working man. this is not blaming him at all. but the people who do not have to take advantage of him.Some people just use others without ever thinking to pay back the money owed.God knows and his wife knows he is a really good and kind man. sadly that last sentence sounds good but
does not always happen that way,they should help him whenever he needs help but only a few will do this.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
27 Oct 10
Hi Hatley,
That is very common that kind peoples always being bullies by others. Others will always take advantage on people who are too kind and will keep asking for their help without thinking to pay back. But kind people will think in the other way where they will think that to give is better than to receive so that they will not owe others anything.
Many believe that if you owe someone something in this life, you will probably have to pay it back in the next life.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
22 Oct 10
Hi,
It is good to be a kind person,but we have to see the
situation.
Some people like to take advantages on people and we try to help,but then
when we need help,that person just run away and give lot of
excuses. SOme people tend to be selfish and only want help
from others but not willing to help up back.
FOr me, in term on money help, I will only
help those people that I trusted.And i have to make sure I really
have the capability to help. If I don't have any extra cash in
hand, I would not be able to help up.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
27 Oct 10
That happen to people who are too kind. Not many peoples are kind, and selfish peoples are more than kind and generous people. Most of the time when someone is too kind, he/she will most probably be take advantage by the selfish peoples. It is not easy to ask for help and I believe to help other is better to let others to help because it is better to let others owe us than ourself to owe others something.
@queenatiuk (81)
• Malaysia
21 Oct 10
Your colleague should be so proud of having such a nice husband.
It is lucky that her husband just only share his earning with his family but not with his friends. It is still encourage to be acceptable to help family.
It would be nicer if the husband can also sharing earning with your colleague's family.
@aeiou78 (3445)
• Malaysia
21 Oct 10
For me, certainly I must help myself first before I can help other.
I shall help the members of the family up to the level I can afford.
I can't surrender whatever I have to them and make my own family to be suffered.
In a very bad situation, no matter how bad my financial I am, I shall still share the most basic necessaries like, daily meals, accommodation and so on with them.
If I have a kind heart, the god will never neglect me.
ha! ha! ha!
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
25 Oct 10
You are quite right, I think most of the people will think and act like you. A normal person will usually think of himself first before think of others. It is not many peoples will let others to have the bread when he himself are starving.
You are not too bad I think, at least you are sharing something with others. May God bless you!
May God bless you! @kendrathil (308)
• India
21 Oct 10
from your words, it is clear that he is a helpful man. Well as you said we can expect people helping us also when we help others.
@Strovek (868)
• Malaysia
22 Oct 10
There are two possibilities why she is telling you and others:
1. She is proud of her husband for his generosity (which doesn't sound like the case).
2. He is giving away too much of their money and it is causing the family to suffer and she is very frustrated. She probably thinks that the other family members are taking advantage of him and she cannot make him see it.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
28 Oct 10
She doesn't really like it when her husband is too kind to others and she think that her husband giving too much to other than she and the children. That is why she said her husband is poor.
I think he is really giving too much money to others and caused her husband (not the family) do not have enough money to give to her, but yet she had to come out with her own money to pay for the milk powder for her baby.
It seem like peoples are really taking advantages on her husband a lot!
@zac2010 (14)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
agreed! we cannot tell what's in store for us when we SERVE other people. that's the wisdom we should learn that "when we are in the service of our fellowmen, we are in the service of god." we should share things that we have. not just money.. but, talents and time too.
@SimpleBB (1329)
• Philippines
21 Oct 10
There are now seldom people like them. But right, he is a nice person. Maybe he believes that more blessings will come if you share it with others. And your friend is lucky to have such a nice guy. Maybe he is not that rich or wealthy, but finding a good person or husband is like finding a pot of gold.
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
21 Oct 10
It is really nice to see a very kind person to be very nice to everyone but one has to be always careful still because some people are not always nice especially when you keep helping them. One of my own friend used to be like this in the past, he is still very kind until now but he's more careful. He lost a few friendship that he really loved because he ended up not being able to help one day because he himself no making enough for his life. Being kind is of course a very good behaviour but at the same time we need to remind ourself that not everyone out there will appreciate our kindness, they will even take an advantage on us. So it is good enough to be kind to help those who are really in need.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
24 Oct 10
You are right, I think when you are too kind and keep helping others, some of them will probably take advantage on you and keep asking for your help. They will not remember all the time that you have help them but they will remember if once you did not help them. They will not appreciate how many time you help them but they think that you are not helping them if one you did that. I prefer to loss a friendship like that than rather being use by this kind of friend. It is good to be kind, but sometime will need to be careful when to be too kind.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
21 Oct 10
yes he is very sweet^^ me too i help when people need^^ i would love to help otehrs too if i had much money. but sadly im also having big money problems :( i wish i could just leave my house but i cant bcs not enough money. i wish i had the luck to have someone in my family that also could be kind and give me some money. i want to leave my house and cant :( and for sure your hubby will win in end^^ he works and help others so he is a great guy really^^
@fannitia (2167)
• Bulgaria
21 Oct 10
It's good to be generous towards people in need. But you have to be careful too. There are people who manipulate frends or relatives who help them. Unfortunately these things happen. I know a woman who struggles to raise her kid on her own and her friends were keen to help her. But she makes too much spendings and she borrows money that she can't pay back. Good people can easily fall victims to such persons.
@starrose_ara (784)
• Philippines
21 Oct 10
Generosity is good. But it should also be balance. If the person helps others but neglects his family's needs then it is not wise. Being too much of anything is bad in the sense that we are not with them 24 hours a day and his acts of kindness might be affecting their finances.Stand neutral.Willing to speak as well as to listen.
@ramvis5599 (20)
• Taiwan
21 Oct 10
Well, same case with my gf as she easily gave money to her family everytime they ask for it. I know that it was her obligation for them but not too much. She need also to save money for herself. She always told me that it's better to give than to receive but I always tell her that she have to save money for herself and for her future. She was very kind not only to her family but also to other people not related to her.
