Anticipating the bad things as well as looking forward to the good things?

My dad -  I only recently came across this picture of my dad when he was eighteen. He's 55 now, and I hope to have him for many more years to come.
@AmbiePam (45691)
United States
November 5, 2010 6:35am CST
Do you have little patience when it comes to waiting for bad things as well as good things? I do. Some of you may remember my dad has prostate cancer. His surgery is scheduled for December 7th. Meanwhile, all I can think about is that that is more than two months that the cancer will continue to grow. I know, I know, two months is nothing when one considers how long he must have already had the cancer. But still, it's hard to wait. And December 7th was as soon as they could get to him. So are you guys getting something for Christmas you are anticipating? My brother-in-law always gets a Christmas bonus. So my sister is really excited to be putting that money away for her and her husband's fifth anniversary trip. The trip won't be for another 10 months, but she is looking forward to the cruise they are going to take. What about you guys? *Take a look at the picture. That's the one who sired me!
7 people like this
17 responses
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
6 Nov 10
I am the same I rather just get it over and done with But it is now only month away for your Dad Sweetie, I understand how this must be getting to your Nerves now
3 people like this
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
6 Nov 10
Hi Amber! I have to say, you dad is one handsome man and that's where you got your looks (and those dimples)! I know there will be many of us praying for him an he is going to make a full and speedy recovery. I am sure of it! He is a tough man, and you know it! He is going to be around for a very long time. And I hope that your sister and bil get to take that trip that they are so looking forward to. Love, Les
3 people like this
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
6 Nov 10
I admit that I hate having to wait for anything although, as I am ageing, I am getter a little better at practicing the art of patience! In your case it is perfectly understandable that December 7th can’t come soon enough; you just want that cancer out of him, I would feel the same! I love the photo of your dad, he looks very handsome there and I’m sure he still is. When I am forced to wait I try to spend the time as productively as possible preferably doing what I love and by keeping busy I hope the long awaited event arrives soon. One must be careful not to wish one’s life away though. If I was you I would focus on spending as much quality time with dad and hang in there…I sincerely wish your father all the best and I can’t wait to read the good news that everything went well!
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (45691)
• United States
6 Nov 10
I hope my dad is ready for AFTER the surgery. I'm his caregiver. He is so dreading that. His greatest fear is being a burden to his children. I told him I think of it as a privilege. As you know, my mom has dementia (that's easier to spell than the "A" word). She's actually going to go stay with my sister a couple of hours away after the surgery. I can't take care of him and her. I was wondering how it was going to work out, but then my dad told me about his plan. I admit I was relieved. I have a hard enough time not stressing out when I'm only taking care of her, and no one else.
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
7 Nov 10
You're a good daughter and your dad is so lucky to have you. He sounds like such a lovely man and he has thought about how you would cope taking care of both your parents so he organised it so it is easier for you. He is a thoughtful man and I wish you both all the very best...
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
6 Nov 10
Did they tell you that prostrate cancer is a very slow grower? That's what I have been told.....might ease your mind a bit. I don't usually anticipate the bad very much...I live kind of a quiet life! LOL.....not much to worry about..and I do look forward to the good things.....right now the good thing will be that after next weekend the Holiday craft sale will be over and I won't have to work half the night besides working full time at my job.....I am getting wore down! LOL
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (45691)
• United States
6 Nov 10
I told my dad that if he was going to get cancer, prostate cancer would be the best one to get (of course for a man, that doesn't make him feel better considering what sometimes has to be done). These days men don't seem to die from it. And it's because of what you said, it's a slow grower. The problem is, the surgeon estimates that when he had a biopsy two years ago, that person missed the cancer. So apparently he has had it for a couple of years. I believe it is because of prayer that the bone scan shows the cancer has not spread to other organs. But I don't like to press anyone's luck, you know what I mean? I hope you take protein shakes or something because you have always got a lot of stuff going on. Did any of your kids pick up your love of crafts?
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
7 Nov 10
yes....actually. My oldest daugher does alot of crafts but mostly knitting and crocheting....my youngest daughter is a stamper! In fact she did stamping before I did...my son however.....loves working with wood. My mother was a great crafter..but my younger sister and I are the only ones in our family that like doing things like that.....however my older sister does scrapbook.
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@cyrus123 (6383)
• United States
7 Nov 10
Yes, I get very impatient waiting on something at times! It might depend on what it is I'm waiting for, though. For example, I've been having a lot of problems with urinary tract infections here lately. I went to my regular doctor about them several times and she would put me on antibiotics for them, which I had a hard time getting adjusted to. I would get better but the infections would come back! She decided I should see a urologist. However, none of the urologists here in town will accept Medicaid, which is what I have, so I have to drive all the way to Birmingham to one over there! They at first wanted me to come on November the 12th but I have a dental appointment over there on that day. The next available appointment is on November the 30th! That's a long time to have to wait, especially if you have a painful bladder! The only thing I know to do in the meantime is drink plenty of water and cranberry juice. I don't think my daddy had to wait that long to have his cancer surgery. I just hope your daddy doesn't get worse between now and then. Please know I will continue to pray for him and the rest of your family.
2 people like this
@cyrus123 (6383)
• United States
7 Nov 10
I just looked at your daddy's picture and he was a handsome man! I bet he still is, isn't he?
2 people like this
@gelay07 (591)
• Philippines
6 Nov 10
i already stop to anticipate things because it would only disappoint me. my thinking these days is to accept things as they come and just hope for better things to come. i have an incurable disease and lift up my condition to God and I've come to terms with myself that i will try not to get worried and keep my sanity intact. i keep praying to God for spiritual strength to keep up my daily life. As long as we are still alive, we should never lose hope.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (45691)
• United States
6 Nov 10
I completely agree. If it wasn't for hope, I don't know how I would get out of bed each morning.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (32481)
• Holiday, Florida
6 Nov 10
wow what a looker your dad was. im sorry to hear that they are waiting. it depends on how agressive the type he has is and if hes had surgery when they found it. with my hubby, they waited because hed just had bypass surgery and thats when they saw it, but the surgeon said he didnt want to contaminate his surgery site, so he left it alone said as soon as he recovered from that, they'd do the cancer surgery. well. it was progressed to far by the time he recovered enough which was 4 months after. yes i dreaded the last surgery, but was not really happy when it was over. hope your dad has better luck. as they say expect a miracle from God and it will happen. btw, my cancer was cured back in 2000, so, maybe your dad will have my luck i hope.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (45691)
• United States
6 Nov 10
Wow, bunnybon, I'm sorry about your husband. I don't know if I've heard you talk about exactly what happened with him. I'm glad your cancer went away. They told my dad they would not operate on him for at least a month. They said it took that long for him to heal from the biopsy. They wanted to do it right after, so they told him to call and make the appointment. They warned him to definitely not wait over two months. I kept telling him he could make the appointment then, schedule it for a week after that month of healing is up. But no, he waited until the month was up before making the appointment. And they couldn't get him in until December 7th. From the time he was diagnosed until he has the surgery, he will have waited just over two months. And that makes me nervous. I believe he is going to make it. I really do. But why press your luck, you know what I mean?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Nov 10
I really think about good things to happen into my life. But as you may know, we should expect the worse, It would help us deal with things little by little.
2 people like this
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
5 Nov 10
I try to be patient but then there are worries like this one that really concerns me. I hope and pray that your dad's surgery goes well. If it was my dad I would be very worried. zmy dad is a great man that has always helped me when I need it and still does.
2 people like this
• United States
5 Nov 10
My prayers are still strong for your dad, may he be as comfortable as possible and gain a full recovery. Anticipation whether good news and or bad makes my heart palpitate and rage for completion. Especially when bad news, what keeps me going is that I have gone through so many so I keep saying to myself whether good and or bad this too shall pass.
2 people like this
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
5 Nov 10
I find that looking forward to something brings the greatest joy. I don't anticipate the bad things of life. That was more of a dreading experience for me.
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@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
5 Nov 10
Hi sweetie. I do hope everything will be fine with your dad. I cannot wait for this december. But it still need some work and a freaking lot of patients. Luck. TATA.
2 people like this
@carmelanirel (21108)
• United States
5 Nov 10
Your dad was a handsome young man Ambie, thanks for sharing. I never been in a serious situation like you, waiting for a loved one to go to surgery that you feel should be done sooner, but I can tell you this, he is in G♥d hands this whole time and I will continue to pray for you and your family during this time. Right now, the only thing I am anticipating is the end of school..I get a whole month off and will be cleaning and getting ready for the holidays in that time. I also hope to get some carpet down before school starts again, but knowing my husband, he will find some excuse to not do it..:(
@katsmeow1213 (28817)
• United States
5 Nov 10
I don't usually do well when looking forward to something.. good or bad. It usually drives me batty with all the anxiety! Right now I'm not really looking forward to much of anything... well, the move I suppose, but I still have mixed feelings about that. I know we kind of have to and it would be good for the kids.. but I don't really want to. So yeah, I'm a little anxious about that.. and anxious about the fact that the house still isn't ready for us. I just paid this months rent.. which ticks me off because I didn't even want to pay last month's rent... GRRR.
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@hofferp (4739)
• United States
5 Nov 10
I can be patient, but when worry is involved, it's really difficult to be patient. I just try and keep my mind on day-to-day things I've got to do. My Dad beat his colon cancer. I bet your Dad is just as tough and will beat his cancer, as well. My prayers are with you, your Dad and your family.
2 people like this
@mentalward (14716)
• United States
5 Nov 10
Something isn't quite right here, Pam. December 7th is only one month away, not two. Still, that's a long time to have to wait for something like that. I went through that when I was told that I needed surgery in my spine. The surgeon told me that normally he's a very conservative surgeon and tries to treat problems without surgery but, as soon as he saw my MRI films, he told me he wanted to schedule surgery as soon as possible. I was a basket case! The surgery wasn't scheduled until two weeks later and, for those two weeks, I was a mess. I've had a lot of surgeries in my lifetime, some of them were quite serious, but this one, maybe because it was my cervical spine which meant that I could become totally paralyzed as a result of this surgery, turned me into a nervous wreck. I never was worried about the scar on my neck (right in the front, of course ) because I have so many scars that one more wouldn't phase me. Plus, this scar isn't that bad. In time, when it fades from red, it will be barely noticeable. I got a little depressed when I read about your sister and brother-in-law's fifth anniversary trip. I just celebrated my fifth wedding anniversary and my husband didn't even take me out to dinner on that date. He didn't take me out until a month later and that was only because we were already out to go to the hardware store and I mentioned that he hadn't yet taken me out to dinner for our anniversary. For him to actually take me on a TRIP would be a miracle and I don't believe in them... not when it concerns me, anyway. We've never gone anywhere on our anniversaries, not even the year we got married. Come to think of it, we've never gone anywhere together, anywhere! I definitely made a big boo-boo five years ago, huh? Anyway, about your father, since the surgery was not scheduled IMMEDIATELY, there is no immediate need for surgery. I'm convinced of it. I know it's hard to wait when you know that you or someone you love has a cancer growing inside them but, apparently, there is time to get this out of him before it causes more damage. Believe me, they could have gotten him in the hospital that very day if it was that much of an emergency! There's far less for you to worry about than you realize, although I do understand you and would be doing exactly the same thing as you if it were my father going through this. I'm sure your father is going to come through this just fine! What a wonderful Christmas present that will be for everyone, huh?
@AmbiePam (45691)
• United States
6 Nov 10
See, it's complicated. His surgery IS two months from the time he was diagnosed. He HAD to wait at least a month to have it. Since he had a biopsy, they told him it was impossible to operate for at least a month. He had to heal. So they asked him to schedule it after that month, because if he had to wait up to two months, it wouldn't be good. I asked him to please schedule the surgery even though you can't have it for a month. They'll still schedule you an appointment. But no, he waited until the intitial month of healing was over before making the appointment.
1 person likes this
@tammytwo (4305)
• United States
7 Nov 10
I am a very impatient person, especially when it comes to waiting for something good that is supposed to happen. I am trying right now to pay off some small debt and I am impatient while doing this. I want it to happen quickly but I know it will take some time.
1 person likes this