remarriage - right or wrong

India
November 13, 2010 10:29pm CST
A friend of mine had a loning wife. But unfortunately, 1 year back he lost her wife in an accident. Her memories cannot be erased from his mind. From then, he remained alone always in his wife memories. He also has a son. I suggested him for remarriage because his son needs the love of mother. But he denied. He says that only his wife can hold his heart and none other. I appreciate his love for his wife, but at the same time we should also take care of his child future. What do u think, can we leave my friend as per his wish, or force him to marry for his son.
3 people like this
19 responses
@tylerlou (67)
• United States
14 Nov 10
You should never try to force someone to remarry if he doesn't want to. Yes it's extremely said that he lost his wife but it's not the end of the world. I agree that the son should have a motherly figure in the house so he can grow up to appreciate women. He should never forget about his wife but shes never coming back and he should move on. If he's that obsessed with her still, maybe you should recommend him going to a therapist to help him move on with his life.
2 people like this
@Strovek (870)
• Malaysia
14 Nov 10
Finding someone to marry for the first time is tough enough. Getting another one after that will be even tougher (since now you have a comparison). It will take time.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
14 Nov 10
He is also luckly having a friend like you! But u know it's may hard for him to remarriage! i appreciate his love for his wife! You know remarriage may not solve the problem of his child! The woman remarriaged with him may can't control him and take care of his child. The condition may be worse! You should let him decide by himself! May be one day he can give you a surprise,he can find a girl he love so much and he son love too! Everything will be ok at right time
1 person likes this
@aeiou78 (3457)
• Malaysia
14 Nov 10
Remarriage is not necessary to be good. Once you have set up a family, it is very difficult for someone new to join in. There might have many problems as communication and so on appear later. For me, I prefer to maintain as what I have at the moment. Any changes will be the risk to hurt my children.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Nov 10
I understand you are only wishing great things for your friend and his son. But it only has been one year and this may not be enough time for him to move on with his life. As I am sure when he married his wife he was hoping it was for life, so he remains faithful to the memory of his late wife. I do hope someday he can find a great women as his future wife and also a great mother to his son. But you have to allow him to be ready and when the time is right he will know it. So be there for him and his son as a great friend as he probably is going through some real rough times.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Nov 10
If he does not want to remarry, that is his decision to make. I'm sure he can raise his son just fine on his own. That was extremely cruel of you to suggest he should replace his wife and the mother of his child. Just leave the poor man alone and mind your own business.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
14 Nov 10
It's not right to force someone for a personal life's decision. Time will come that he will realize everything and that maybe the right woman will come to his way. But forcing your friend is not right. It is his life and a private matter. Just pray for him,that's the least you can do. Have a great Sunday
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Dec 10
You cant force him to marry again, because time only can tell when he will be able to fall in love again, no one can dictate his heart, and for now he still fell the pain of losing his wife.
@Cherryd41 (1121)
• United States
13 Dec 10
Hi KRTWORLD Maybe your friend needs more time to grieve for his wife he's just not ready and I wouldn't force the issue he should remarry when he's ready and not for the sake of his son a man is quite capable of raising a child by himself its not only women who have that ability
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
29 Nov 10
Married again does not hurt. However, your friend really loves his wife, and did not want to get married again. It is rare to find someone like your friend. I really understand the feelings of your friends. Perhaps it is he wants to take care of his own son, so she did not want to get married again. Not necessarily to get married again, her son feel comfortable with new mothers. Child's feelings should also be considered.
16 Nov 10
Look... If your friends can take proper care about his child, and loves his son which helps his son to overcome his mother's absent. Then it's okay. But, in future your friend's need a person who is his best friends. I think wife is the best for it. because she feel your friend by heart, and always took care for him. And that's why i need you suggest you try to force him to rearrange. And i must tell you, i also appreciate his love for his wife.
@Galena (9124)
15 Nov 10
what on Earth would give anyone the right to, as you say "force him to marry for his son" it's not up to anyone else. and what possible good would forced marriage do for either of them? IF he falls in love again, he may choose to marry again. he might not meet another person he wants to marry, and that's fine. his Son will be fine whether he remarries or doesn't. remarrying won't give him his mother back.
@ravinskye (8245)
• United States
15 Nov 10
I don't think it would be fair to anyone to force him to marry if he doesn't want to. If it is meant to be he will once again find someone to love. It wouldn't be fair to his new wife for him to just marry her for his son and not because he loved her. I think after being with someone it is hard to imagine being with someone else. I'm sure in time though he will want to find love again.
@Ruby722 (798)
• China
15 Nov 10
I know your motive is very kind.But if this man he still love in his wife.I think your should give him some more time.1year is not enough for this man to forget his wife.maybe 5,10.I also hope this man can move on in future.Let's pray
@2004cqui (2823)
• United States
14 Nov 10
Force him? How on earth? I would throw out anyone who thought they could force me to do anything! I wouldn't even suggest remarriage to anyone! Only the heart knows when that is, if it is. Haven't you ever heard what happens to children when couples stay together "for the sake of the children"? Sorry but that would be so much worse. Leave them alone. That's a lot like poking at defenseless animals in a cage. In their case the loss of the woman the loved rendered them injured, the cage being their job of survival without her. Don't poke at them!
@fannitia (2172)
• Bulgaria
14 Nov 10
Alas, you can never force a person to do such a thing as marriage. But if he find a new woman this would be good for him and for his child. I speak from my own experience. My husband passed away years ago and I haven't find another one. Of course you can't make a plan to marry, this doesn't depend on you alone. But for many reasons a second marriage would be a good thing for my daughter.
@tcup345 (360)
• United States
14 Nov 10
Forcing the man to marry is absolutely, positively wrong! When it is right for him, he will know it and make his own choices, no one can do that for him. To force him into a marriage, when he is not ready and unwilling will hurt him and will hurt his son. You cna be a better friend by supporting his decision, help him, when needed, with his son. If you force your friend, he will resent the woman and that will be unfair to her, she will be in a bad relationship, very unhappy, and will not be a loving parent for his son. Leave the poor man alone, he will find his own path and his son will not suffer.
@cicisnana (776)
• United States
14 Nov 10
Once your friend gets over the mourning he will think differently. Until then, let him mourn and do not try to push him into marriage. I'm sure his son has some sort of mother figure in an aunt, grandmother, etc...he will be fine.
@shaggin (25499)
• United States
14 Nov 10
Well jeepers 1 year isnt much time past for your friend to already get remarried I think thats kind of absurd to try to push him into getting remarried. First you should get to know someone along time before marrying them so jumping back into a marriage just for your childs sake is a bad idea. A man should not marry a women to make a mother for his child. I accept the fact that I am a single mom now that my husband and I have split up. I dont need a man to father my kids even if my ex does die. I can be a good mom and there are plenty of kids out there living with only one parent who grow up perfectly fine.