What would you do if the person you're with isn't ready to settle down yet?
By laydee
@laydee (12813)
Philippines
December 21, 2010 7:21pm CST
Let's just say you already are ready (well at least you think you are, you're both in the right age and both have stable jobs) yet he/she feels it's not yet time for him/her. What would you do?
3 responses
@mythociate (15963)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
3 Apr 13
It depends; Why isn't she ready?
It's probably something like 'I just don't feel ready yet 
'
In the heat of the moment, I'd probably ask something like, 'Not ready for what? To become a steady person rather than a free radical? Is there some sort of "freedom" you have being "single, in a relationship" that you wouldn't have if we were "married"?'
But then I'd fear she'd say something like, "Well, if we were married then YOU'D have to take care of my baby no matter WHICH of the guys I'm sleeping-with is the father," although I KNOW she's kidding (hopefully) 
But maybe she doesn't trust me to share her responsibilities as she shares mine. There's something about 'her bills become my bills & I pay them ALL, making our house MY castle which I graciously allow her to live-in' (& vice-versa). Maybe it feels like I'm STEALING control over her life 
'
In the heat of the moment, I'd probably ask something like, 'Not ready for what? To become a steady person rather than a free radical? Is there some sort of "freedom" you have being "single, in a relationship" that you wouldn't have if we were "married"?'
But then I'd fear she'd say something like, "Well, if we were married then YOU'D have to take care of my baby no matter WHICH of the guys I'm sleeping-with is the father," although I KNOW she's kidding (hopefully)
But maybe she doesn't trust me to share her responsibilities as she shares mine. There's something about 'her bills become my bills & I pay them ALL, making our house MY castle which I graciously allow her to live-in' (& vice-versa). Maybe it feels like I'm STEALING control over her life 
@maezee (34568)
• United States
22 Dec 10
Its kind of sucky when you want to take the leap but the other person doesn't or doesn't feel ready to be 'committed' like that (etc). But I can understand how you feel. I agree the first person, give him time to come around. Some people have trust and/or commitment issues and it takes them a while to get with 'the program'. LOL. Plus, just because you're both the 'right' age (what's the right age, anyway?) and have stable jobs doesn't mean you're necessarily ready to settle down yet (I think there are a lot of factors involved..) good luck in your situatino, however!
@stephmanimbao (268)
• Philippines
22 Dec 10
Just him more time. It will require a lot of patience from you by waiting but it better than forcing him to settle down with you even if he's not ready yet. Settling down is not as easy as it sounds so both persons should really sure of themselves.
