How long you been in a relationship before you get married?

date - having lunch
January 3, 2011 7:36am CST
My parents never been in a relationship before they get married. I just don't know why those times once you hold there hands and then grandparents saw you they will insist you to get married. They are so conservative. Now a days before they get married they already have their own babies. I don't want that to happen to me. i make sure to get married when Im ready and afford to survive and support my family. How about your story? Can you share you known or own story? Thanks! God bless!
5 people like this
30 responses
• South Korea
3 Jan 11
me and my husband was in relationship for less than a month..I know its crazy..and theres a lot of question always..lol well we dont really know each other.. we just met that day.. and maybe it was love at first sight... (I know it was lol) and after that day we never parted..haha.. and when he proposed to me he told me " know you might think Im crazy because I wanna marry you".and belive me I didnt even had a second thought" I just answered "I think i am crzy too coz Im willing to marry u:P" as for now were almost married for almost 5years:) we still dont wanna have a baby..and keeping for our future and travels... I can still say we still have the magic.. Even when we fight we never heard each other regretting why we got married:P Sometimes how long youve been together doesnt really matter.. its what you guys been through... or sometimes there are others whove been together for what 5-10years but leads to divorce... hhmmmm I dont know..but of course Im not advising everybody to get married without knowing each other! of course atleast take time to know each other... I am just brave and I got a special case:P
4 Jan 11
You're not just brave but you are really CRAZY. I can't imagine you guys to get married and known each other less than a month. What a crazy, great story. I think you guys are really hot and amazing. I never experience love at first sight. I think it is really a magical feeling. I know one one day God will bless you a healthy baby. Just keep on praying and asking him to have one. Your right in getting married after 5-10 years it doesn't matter but in getting married in less than a month is a really crazy thing to do like what you did. But I want to congratulate you for a good decision you made. You are really crazy! I don't know what to say but look at my comments its all about being crazy. (Laughing out LOUD!!) God bless! Good day! Happy new Year!!
• South Korea
4 Jan 11
you bet.. everytime my co-workers or new friend will ask how we got to know each other..they were always shock..plus were both young when we got married.. were studying in collage that time..lol Everybody are amazed everytime they will hear our story.. But now every decision weremaking are carefully chosen..specially bringing our relationship into the next level.. well I wanna have atleast 4babies.. so right were just working hard to reach that dream..:) maybe if we will be more prepared we will be more happy:)
6 Jan 11
Besides from being inlove with each other your so lucky to invest yourself and spent much money to decide on it. They called that whirlwind story. Since you decide to get married in the short period of time. You guys are really crazy but I can say that your are really destined because it feels like you both enjoying and happy together. Good day! God bless!
@SViswan (12095)
• India
19 Jan 11
I had an arranged marriage though the choice was mine and my husband and I got to meet each other and decide if we were right for each other. I'd rather say the family facilitated the marriage. But my parents were in love (for how long I have no idea) and that's how they got married.So, for me it's the opposite...lol My parents were in a relationship and got married while I decided to go the traditional way!
20 Jan 11
Do you mean your a Chinese? Are you from what country? Well, your so lucky that you got married to the one you really love. I've heard some story like in the movies that their parents as part of the culture, they got married because of the family matters. And eventually they fall inlove with each other besides they have no choice but to accept the marriage. Congratulations for being successful in your marriage life. I hope that that will last forever. Good day! God bless!
@SViswan (12095)
• India
20 Jan 11
I'm not Chinese. I am from India. But when my parents got married, it was unheard of to be in a relationship before getting married. And when it was my turn, love marriages were the norm. But we all chose different paths.
21 Jan 11
Ah okay. What is important is that you guys love each other when you get married. Enjoy your life with your partner and family. I really dont have any idea about your culture and how you guys live everyday. But I heard that in your country there is also a Herbalife same thing as what I am doing here in our country. Good day! God bless!
• United States
4 Jan 11
Hubby and I were friends for a year and both of us were engaged to someone else when we met. Both of our partners were abusive and I turned to him for help in moving out of the apartment that I lived in with my fiance. He helped me move everything and set up my new apartment then we started dating. We were married six months later. We have been married eight years and have a special little boy that is eight years old. It was rough on us in the beginning because we lost everything. We lost our jobs, then our house and our car so we had to start completely over. I think it made us stronger though.
• Malaysia
4 Jan 11
Marriage is not something you will just rush into rather it takes time to build relationship,build understanding,etc so that you will get to know each other very well.Though they say it is only institution that awards certificate before the exams starts. When i met my wife was three years ago and we took our time to get to know and study each other.It took us two years before we decided to got married. we dont have kids yet but we are working towards that at moment.Dont get me wrong i believe in love at first sight but when it comes to marriage,the compatibility is mostly considered..So for those who wants to go into marriage,please make sure you take your time to get to know each other and be sure you really want to get locked up in the marriage.Relationship that is built for a very long time tends to last long and divorce is never an option in such
8 Jan 11
Lindahardning627- A very good story how you met your destiny. Its a nice story like what We've watch in the television. You are also lucky to met a someone who is really there for you to help and I think will understand you in all aspects. We never say what's gonna happen in the future. Like what happened to you never know that the someone who you ask for help is the man of your dreams. All those challenge will be resolve as soon as you want it. You can make it as long as your with someone very special. Good day! God bless!
8 Jan 11
Loveworld360- I believe in you nothing to rush especially in getting married. Its a knot that will last for a long time. Its a long time contract too. I think like the other story time is not really matters. Its depend to the couples on how they deal with each other and the problems that came up. But 2 years is quite enough to get married. We never know unless we try. And there is no end in any changes so we have to make sure that we decide for the best and we accept each other no matter what. Good day! God bless!
@derek_a (10903)
4 Jan 11
I was in my relationship about 2 years before we got married. I think this was good because we really got to know more about each other and are still together after 25 years. I have been married before and am now divorced and don't have any children with my wife - it just never happened for us. _Derek
7 Jan 11
Whatever the reason you consider, I hope that you made a right decision. There's a lot of reason to undergone a annulment like this. We really don't know the real score but its done and we never get back the past. I hope that you are now much better than while your in married life. Just be happy and enjoy your life. We never know whats happening in the future. What we all know is that we're the author of our life. And just focus on the things that makes you happy and disregard the person who broke your heart. Good day! God bless!
7 Jan 11
Whatever the reason you consider, I hope that you made a right decision. There's a lot of reason to undergone a annulment like this. We really don't know the real score but its done and we never get back the past. I hope that you are now much better than while your in married life. Just be happy and enjoy your life. We never know whats happening in the future. What we all know is that we're the author of our life. And just focus on the things that makes you happy and disregard the person who broke your heart. Good day! God bless!
7 Jan 11
Whatever the reason you consider, I hope that you made a right decision. There's a lot of reason to undergone a annulment like this. We really don't know the real score but its done and we never get back the past. I hope that you are now much better than while your in married life. Just be happy and enjoy your life. We never know whats happening in the future. What we all know is that we're the author of our life. And just focus on the things that makes you happy and disregard the person who broke your heart. Good day! God bless!
@_sketch_ (5711)
• United States
3 Jan 11
I was in a relationship for 4 years and I didn't get married and it's a very, very good thing I didn't. There's no set amount of time for getting married or even for getting engaged and even once there is an engagement, you can keep it that way for as long as you want. I think it just depends on the individuals in the relationship and the relationship itself.
6 Jan 11
In our religion they don't allow us to marry from other religion. We have to find someone around our religion only. Engagement is not really matter since we are can live and marry a man even without any engagement. I didn't heard anything about engagement except the wedding day. Its more practical and more important is the wedding day. Love is about 2 individuals who fall in love so they are the driver of each relationships. Good day! God bless!
@_sketch_ (5711)
• United States
6 Jan 11
I didn't say anything about religion.
7 Jan 11
I'm just saying my part and reason why we don't allow to marry a man in younger age. God day! =)
@aprilsong (1886)
• China
20 Jan 11
Time changes. As you said, in old time, the couples may don't in a relationship before marriage. You know, in ancient china, it is very common that the two people don't meet before their marriage. Their marriage is set by their parents. If two parents agree with the marriage, then their kids must obey. So they begin in a relationship after marriage. And now, many teenage become parents before they get married. I don't think it is good for them and for the society. Though completely not know each other before marriage is not good, but too open on relationship is not good either. I think the shortest period in relationship before marriage is half a year. It will be better if it is longer. Anyway, we are looking for our life partners, so we should be careful. And knowing a person's true face needs time.
21 Jan 11
Yeah i agree with you. Been in a relationship before getting married is really important. You can choose whoever you want to be marry with. But I think in this modern life they don't even obey, follow their culture at all. There's a lot of people who are not successful in their lives now because they didn't enjoy each time they are together. And finally since they have no choice but to love each other then. So I will follow that style and other culture. Im so lucky that my parents allow me to chose whoever be my man. Good day! God bless!
@sacmom (14338)
• United States
11 Jan 11
I was in a relationship with my husband for 3 years before we got married. We'll be celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary next month. Happy mylotting!
20 Jan 11
3 years been in a relationship is enough before getting married. Well I want to congratulate you guys for celebrating another year that counts in your marriage life. Getting married is not a joke. Its a lifetime knot. And it feels like you really love each other and may be really successful in your marriage and career also. Just enjoy your time together. Don't mind all of the problems that came up. good day! God bless!
@jinjer168 (1599)
• Philippines
8 Jan 11
My husband and I knew each other for almost 10 years and our relationship before was an on and off relationship. If i would compute it, its almost three years of being sweethearts before we decided to tie the knot. I didn't knew why we kept on falling into each others arms before, maybe we're really meant for each other. Right now we're already in our 7 years of togetherness, with one daughter and another one, soon to come. I think, its important to knew the person first before entering into marriage because believe it or not, though you knew one person for a long time, you will still have something to discover about him when you're already together in one dwelling, pray a lot so that our dear God will lead you to someone especially created for you. HAve a nice day ahead!
9 Jan 11
I think in every relationships there ups and downs. We cannot pretend that our relationship was great. I know there's a time you also feel like tired and mad with each other. But still a part to be more stronger. And now end up into a marriage and had your own family. Its so nice to read a story like in you. Different story has the same feeling which is the LOVE. I want to congratulate you for having another baby soon. Hoe that you'll raised them as good as you can they will be. Yeah, Im praying that my present boyfriend will be my Prince and he will never treat me like a slave. He will love me with all his heart and be my destiny. God bless! Good day!
• Philippines
7 Jan 11
Me and my husband is in a relationship for almost 3 years before we get married.. we are 3 years in our marriage life.We already have 1 yr old daughter. Unfortunately he is gone a month ago...It hurts...its unexpected....I missed him so much.....Maybe God has a better plan for me... I'm thankful that he left me with a beautiful daughter...Someday I can let go and move on....
8 Jan 11
Oh you have to let go of your baby boy. Its part of you destiny and its past and gone so just appreciate and take good care of your baby girl. Yes, everything has a good reason and whether we like it or not we have to accept the fact of not having them. I also lost a elder brother. We never met him because he is the eldest and in just a month he passed away. I missed the chance of having a elder brother. But just like my mom said if he lives its much harder to us to accept it. God is so good. Im the youngest so if he with my parents I think im not in this world. We are only four in the family and 2 siblings. Good day! God bless!
@dorannmwin (36608)
• United States
6 Jan 11
My husband and I were in a relationship for two and a half years before we made things official and got married. I knew from the time that we met each other that we were going to eventually be married, but we wanted to wait until we were in a position that we could afford the responsibilies that were required to be married. We actually already had a daughter together before we were married, but we didn't rush into marriage because we already had a child.
8 Jan 11
Getting married had a unique story in every people who commented on my postings. And your the only one who had a baby and soon decided to get married. Im happy to hear that your married life is successful. As like what you've said after many years you made all of it in formal. There's a lot of story too who had baby then after deliver they broke up. Your daughter is a blessing. She is the result of your love with each other as a lovers. Good day! God bless!
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
5 Jan 11
How old are you daiweian? I presume your very young to talk over this matter. Well, maybe you are curious about occurrences which are very far from what we expect. Yes, life before was different from now but it doesn't mean we lose our morale or should lose it. It's good to hear that you don't want to have baby first before marrying someone. Maybe you wanted to be sure with the right guy. But it doesn't mean too that if you have the baby you have to get marry with , it's absolutely not. Yes, having baby is not good to look at but more it will be if we build families without love.
8 Jan 11
Hi babyEj! Well im turning 23 this year. Im just curious what is the right and and time to get married. Of course I also want to have my family in the future time. And still single in status but not available. We're are now 21 months and not yet planning to get married yet. Still young and not yet stable too. Like what happened to my old friends and some people I knew who has a baby but not yet married. Its really not acceptable in the community but as many of it happens in different people so they have no choice. In our religion we are not allowed about this factor. We have to be married first but I don't know why the people I knew done this and nothings happen except to my cousin. They punished my cousin, so she is not relarted with our religion now a days. Good day! God bless!
@freymind (1352)
• Philippines
5 Jan 11
I'm with my fiancée for 6 years and were planning to get married on 2012. I also think that before I get myself pregnant, I'd rather do it when I'm ready and doesn't have anything to be worried about since I've already took care of everything.
8 Jan 11
I think your in a good place and time to get married since your are now living in a same place. You still need proof and formality and said to be the wife. Acceptable in the community with moral. Having a baby is up to you. When do you prefer to have it. Make sure that everything is alright and ready. Wish you a good luck in your marriage life. I hope that soon you will experience the wedding that your waiting for. 2012 I think is a good year. So enjoy your life now while you and husband alone. Next time you will missed the time of both of you. Good day! God bless!
4 Jan 11
well ive never been married but was with my ex for 12 and a half years. the best thing i did was leave him 3 and a half years ago. i would like to find someone that will treat me and talk to me so much better than my ex, then i will be happy
8 Jan 11
I think you forgot to mention what are the things you hate about your ex-boyfriend or you just don't want to share us the story. Well if that's what your decision I think its a great decision. What is he before marriage is almost the same after marriage or getting worst. We still discover something new about our partner. Still not married too but I know lot of things. What I've seen in my parents and friends. But not enough. I feel young as my age and turning 23 this year. I can't live away my parents and sister since we are only four here at home. Good day! God bless!
@singup (666)
• Malaysia
4 Jan 11
i follow your parents style :) my mon told me about the girl and i was knowing her borhter and respect him so much. than i travel to study and came in semster break and get married and return with her to finish my study abroad i think it is not very intersting story isn't it :)
8 Jan 11
Well its not how good or body is your story. Its how you get married and live happily ever after. But not all people had a successful story. Like what you said you went back just to marry her. As your mom likes her so much. Her brother and you are good friends is enough ground to choose that girl than anyone else. Sometimes the people around us is a big help to find someone. You can't never do that alone. Just be thankful. Its a good story anyway. Good day! God bless!
• India
4 Jan 11
Olden day marriages were always pre-arranged. They were not just like that consummated. The parents of both the boy and girl used to make thorough enquiries about the family status, individual character, education etc. etc. Indian hindu marriages also consider the horoscopes to play a vital part in a marriage. Naturally, families formed, true to the every spirit of the word. Failure in such marriages were very rare. Now, you bear the child of your boy-friend caused by mere infatuation and flush lust. All those statements " you and me understand each other and marry" prove to be empty in several love marriages. The rate of Divorce has increased manifold. Tell me, which one you prefer to. May be you are mature enough to chose your partner, but at the end, if it lasts long, well and good. Otherwise, you have to turn back to your so-called Conservatives' marriage only.
8 Jan 11
Indian Hindu marriages I think is so critical and sensitive. Its like Chinese marriages. Advisable to get married of who the family prefers for you. They don't like to marry from other families not belong them. The only thing in this is that what if they are not really compatible with each other? Fix marriage is not advisable. I think we're free to choose the people we love. Our culture is very conservative too. But as times past by many of the cultures are changed. Like what other tell us we're now living in a modern world. But some of the story are not really acceptable in the community. Good day! God bless!
@jambi462 (4599)
• United States
4 Jan 11
I've been dating my current girlfriend for over two years and I have never been this happy in a relationship. I would have to say that I've never felt more positive about this lady being the one towards any other person. I would have to say she's easily the most compatible partner that I could probably have and I can't really see my life without her now. I only hope that in the years to come I can somehow find a more stable way of providing myself financial success. Right now there are just so many things that I want to give to her, like a house, a garden of our own, a farm, a family, and plenty of other things as well. Unfortunately I don't really have all the means or resources for that yet so in the back of my mind there's always that keeping me motivated to evolve and move on for the better. I look forward to someday having a family with my beautiful woman and probably as soon as I can afford a worthy wedding experience and I can afford for us to have our own house I would be more then ecstatic to pop the question :)
8 Jan 11
We had the same feeling to our partners. I think my present boyfriend is the best among the rest. I felt like I can't live without him. Since he is my best friend, a brother and a lover. We are not yet fiance but we like to live together in the future. Don't pressure yourself to give all of those things to her. Time will come and even if you don't have any she still loves you no matter what. Besides you get to know each other without this but we never know in the future. Right now just do your best to achieve and have all of this one at a time. It needs much more time and effort. Work hard! You don't need any special, grand wedding simple and elegant one is enough. Good day! God bless!
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
4 Jan 11
For me I been almost a year in relationship before married.
8 Jan 11
Oh Im so happy for you guys who decided to get married in less than a year. Your so good to decide what's happening to you in just a year. Hope that ou all guys madea right one. Be the best husband and wife in the world. Enjoy our lives and never go back to the past. For me its hard to decide in getting married since we're both not ready and still earning and saving much money as preparation. Good day! God bless!
4 Jan 11
2 years for my wife. . we had problem but its ok for us.. girl support ur family . and get ready for ur future . ok ./
7 Jan 11
Congratulations! You are now married and not just about marriage but the responsibilities that came to your life. You must respect and love your wife as how you give importance and care to your life. I can say that even if you all guys didn't tell much more stories. I feel that your enjoying your life as a couple. Good day! God bless!
@aeiou78 (3457)
• Malaysia
4 Jan 11
Yes you are right. Not to have baby before your marriage. In my country, whoever deliver their baby before their marriage registration, the baby will have a big trouble in considering as a citizen of this country. For the good of our next generation, we must try not to violate the rules here. As such, the cases of having babies before their marriage can be reduced. On the other hand, there might be more cases of abandoning babies too. ha! ha! ha! Understanding well to each other before our marriage is very importance. We never want to regret or divorce after our marriage. Divorce can have a lot of negative impact to our children and the society too. In my case, I knew my wife and got married after two years. Obligation and commitment are the priority of our marriage.
7 Jan 11
Most of the people I know have a baby before getting married. But now a days it doesn't matter. Like its a normal thing. But in our religion they don't allow us these things. We have to follow all the rules and regulation with faith. Your so good to your wife to propose her a marriage before having a baby. I think its all depend on the couples and partners. We are the driver of our life so we can control everything and be careful about it. Good day! God bless!
@SIMPLYD (73817)
• Philippines
4 Jan 11
My husband and i were bf & gf for 4 years before we got married. We have enjoyed going outs by ourselves and having fun with our friends during those times. We have broken up and reconciled twice and when we felt that we can't have a single day away from each other and is already stable, we decided to get married. It's nice to get married when you have known each other for quite sometime. At least you more or less knew each other's likes and dislikes before you tie the knot. Have a nice day!
7 Jan 11
$ years of getting to know each other and save some money for the wedding I think is enough. But what I've heard in the television it is not important how expensive and grand the celebration is. What is more important is the house and other things for the longest time. Especially its all about the couples. You can make it amazing as far you both love each other until the end. Tie the knot- so funny!! Even bf-gf can pretend married couples as long as they really like each other and never look to the others around them. Contentment.. Good day! God bless!