People who fake that they are happy in their relationship.

@joystick (1680)
January 15, 2011 6:48pm CST
Why do some people fake to others including the partner that they are happy in their relationship.I can understand why some people tell other people that they are happy in a relationship, as they do not want other people talking about them.I can never work out why people say that they are happy to their partner if really that they are not happy.
3 people like this
21 responses
@Hatley (157506)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Jan 11
joystick I never faked anything in mymarriage as I was happy as I'really loved my husband and he loved me too. There is no way a person can fake for very long without the mate knowing something is wrong. honesty always is the best policy. In all of your live, your marriage , your work, your friends, your mylotting. honesty really does wonders.Oh I have pretended to feel better physically but only not to worrry my family and it did not work. it never does.So now with myson I am always honest. it is a lot easier to always be truthful as one lie begets another one and on and on. some people are afraid to tell their mate the truth and thats because they have not made a habit of communicating all the time with their mates. talk'things out and do not be afraid to tell the truth.for one thing I really hate this live together no committment stuff as there is no way they are going to last as this is built to get out from under a poor relationship only oddly they all seem to be bad relationships;why?because they expect mr perfect who does not cough,spit, fart,leave the toilet seat up, and never ever burps oh myG and Miss perfect who never gains a pound, never burps or farts, or is unladylike, and she bears children and is never cross or tired. there is no one really like that.we are humans and humans make mistakes, they burp,they spit, they even fart, and sometimes drop foo on their clothes.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (157506)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Jan 11
typo foo is supposed to be food darn I did not see that u ntil it was posting. sorry
1 person likes this
@marguicha (80234)
• Chile
16 Jan 11
I agree with you, as usual, friend!
@joystick (1680)
16 Jan 11
You are right there.I just think that it is such a shame that some people are living in unhappy relationships for some reason or another.Like you say sooner or later it will get really bad and both will wish that they had ended it sooner rather than leaving it or wish they had spoken to their partner to try to work things out.
@Jlyn10 (10437)
• Malaysia
16 Jan 11
I think they are saying that for the sake of their children. They don't want to put their children in a difficult position where other people might gossip about their parents' relationship and that might affect their studies.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Jan 11
I agree with you.
@joystick (1680)
16 Jan 11
You are right there.There are also people that should talk to their partners about how they feel the relationships is going, rather than letting things get really bad that they just leave the relationship, never knowing if they could work it out.I think that it is sad.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
16 Jan 11
Well, if I was happy in a relationship...you would know it! I wouldn't be faking anything. How in the world do you fake something when you are so obviously happy? Smiling, loving what you do, have the time of your life...no...that can't be faked. And I wouldn't pretend to be happy either...because if I was unhappy, you'd know that too...I'm practically an open book!!
1 person likes this
@joystick (1680)
16 Jan 11
I know of a few people that are not happy in the relationship that they are in, however they are the people that do not want to be left on the shelf so to speak.Then there are other people that are happy some days and not others with their chosen partner.I think that there are alot of people that should have stayed single as well.
@celticeagle (114086)
• Boise, Idaho
16 Jan 11
Because of all the 'I told ya so's' out there probably. And to save face. And because they may be afraid of a big fight. It is pretty major to tell your partner you are unhappy. Next only to 'I want a divorce!' It hurts. In some instances both parties are at fault and it just opens a whole can of worms neither want to deal with. If they would start communicating at an early date it probably wouldn't be the problem it is now.
@marguicha (80234)
• Chile
16 Jan 11
I was married for almost 40 years. I cannot say that I was always happy nor my husband was always happy either. People are not that way. Yet we told each other our problems, discused our differences and respected them. I have seen people who never get mad (apparently) until everything falls apart and the marriage ends. It is a pity. To fake what you donĀ“t feel, to accept what you are against are not good foundations for anything.
1 person likes this
@2004cqui (2823)
• United States
16 Jan 11
People who fake happiness with and to their partner are only hurting themselves. I can only be strong and independent when I am happy. When I'm not people know it!
• Malaysia
17 Jan 11
strong and independent......what is it got to do with faking happy relationship??? :O
@2004cqui (2823)
• United States
17 Jan 11
When people lie or fake something they are reaching for strength and independence. They will do anything for it, even lie and fake prosperity.
• India
24 Jan 11
I do not see any reason to pretend to be happy in a relationship. May be people do that but the % of those would be very less. Pretending to be happy can not continue for longer and it would appear to others soon. I think happiness and sad are natural things and only actors can pretend to be happy and sad with the help of otehr things. We all are good actors but cannot act everytime without letting it know others. Thank You for sharing.
@thaMARKER (3096)
• Philippines
20 Jan 11
most likely they want privacy for themselves especially to their relationship. i, too would keep what we have with my partner from others. i don't share situations, status, intimate moments or whatever with others though some people asks me about it. they don't even know who am i dating currently but they have the feeling of who but i don't wanna say anything. if people are not happy with their relationship and still saying they are just fine, for me thats something good. it's as if they're trying to work it out.
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
20 Jan 11
hi i also did that, i am showing that i am happy but the real is not, i need to that hiding my feelings just to avoid having a fight or an argument to my partner, because he will ask for sure why i am not happy. so to avoid that long argument, i just hide it and keep it for myself.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
20 Jan 11
I did this in my relationship and there were many reasons for doing it. I guess the biggest one was that the relationship was an abusive one and at the time I believed all of the mean and horrible things he would say to me-I should feel lucky he wanted me, I can't do ant beter, no one else wants me, etc.So I wanted to work because I did not want to be alone. I also tried to fake my happiness because I thought that was what I wanted at a time, and if I kept tryng ten eventually I would actually be happy. I wanted to try to be happy at other times to make him happy and because I did not thave the financial means to just get up and leave.So I think there are always a mixture of reasons people will fke being happt.
@thaMARKER (3096)
• Philippines
19 Jan 11
well maybe they want their privacy so they just want to keep their relationship free from talk. it's hard if you're trying to work things out and other people are trying to get in between. sometimes if i'm having an argument with my partner and it really shows in my face that i'm not in the mood, people would ask if we had a fight or something. actually it's just a joke because i didnt tell them about my status with this guy. most of the time, they're right. whenever i'm not in speaking terms with my partner, i just keep it with myself until we talk about it. i just don't wanna talk about it. 'cause no matter how valid or good their advises are, i still follow mine.
@Austee (132)
17 Jan 11
Based on my experience.. I love so much this person. Every minute we talk on phone. Just a meeting or when I am in class is our barrier. But then again it change just because of a single misunderstanding. We then fight alot. I am too young for a serious relationship. I mean its not wrong to love and have a bf but I am still on a stage where in I still need to learn alot. He means alot to me. He is my happiness at that time. And when things change, I still linger on him as he's my happiness even though the fact is we are not anymore happy in our relationship. Perhaps, I still tell everyone that we are still together and we are so happy is because: 1. I am still young at that time. 2. He means alot to me. He is my happiness. 3. I gave all my love to him to the point nothing was left. I have not love myself more than I do to him. 4. I am not ready to admit we are fading. 5. I am not ready to tell the world that we are not together anymore. We already broke-up.
@jacklintan (1302)
• Malaysia
16 Jan 11
hi joystick, This is a good topic for discussion. :) Why people fake over unhappy relationship? Hmmmm.... 1. They don't want their friends/relatives to worry about them 2. They don't want others to talk about their relationship 3. They have Pride. Don't want to lose out to those friends who are really in happy relationships. 4. Just the way it is. Maybe not faking at all.
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
16 Jan 11
hello joy, There are reasons behind why people stays in a relationship eventhu they are not happy anymore. One reason is,if they have kid/s,they consider the kids for staying and keeping the relationship intact. In my opinion,it's a great sacrifice doing such thing. But i am not sure if they can fake it forever. It is not easy to pretend at all times. Some people pretend to be happy and stays in a relationship for the sake of society,they don't want to have rumors (the heck with gossipers) If i were to ask,why care what other people says...this is my life and they're not the one suffering. I will never stay in a relationship in which i am not longer happy with it.
16 Jan 11
i dont know either, although i never told my ex that i was unhappy. we argued all the time and yes i hated him and still do, but for some reason that i dont know, i never told him.
@agrim94 (3812)
• India
16 Jan 11
Hi joystick, Not all relationships are happy and not all relationships are happy all the time. Every relationship has ups and downs provided you give it enough time. Yes there are few relationships which are nearly always unhappy. Now why people try to show they are happy can be one of few factors. You love ur partner enough not to leave him/her and hoping against hope that things would be turn for better. Second thing is they got no other option. Third can be they get used to this kind of life. Reasons can be many and only the one who is in such relationship can tell why is he still sticking to the relationship or why is he showing off that he has a happy relationship.
@Nadinest1 (2042)
• Canada
16 Jan 11
There have been a few times when my husband and i were supposed to go out with other people, or simply visit someone....when I told him I am not going because we just had an argument. "Why act like we like each other right now". I think my husband knows what I am not happy with him....no need to pretend. lol
@stanley777 (7177)
• Philippines
16 Jan 11
Me and my wife have been married more than 25 years and we have not experienced such a thing as faking one's feeling to each other.If ever we had a disagreement we try to resolve it the same day, we talked about it and if possible solved right away.Faking your relationship is a situation where both parties suffers.Its better to talk about the problem before it escalates.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
16 Jan 11
Faking happiness in a relationship is cheating everyone. if you are not happy in your relationship, this is not something you can force to happen. pretending will not make it so. We should never fake anything because we will only come to resent it in time.
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
16 Jan 11
Hello. When there's no way for you to go but stay especially when you see that such partner is doing everything to make you happy. However, there are certain things in life that we still want but our partners can not or will never be able to provide us such wants. We can't have everything. This could be true when you are wanting to save whatever is left in that relationship. Thus, pretending that you are happy seems the best thing you can do. And may God help you sustain that.