Is beauty a curse or a blessing?
By scheng1
@scheng1 (24650)
Singapore
January 16, 2011 9:07am CST
Most of us admire very beautiful persons, especially beautiful women.
We secretly wish that we can exchange place with them. We tend to think that beautiful women are rich and beauty, even though intelligence is often not associated with beauty.
However, the conventional wisdom is that beauty is a curse.
The sayings of the ancient people is that beauty is more of a curse than a blessing. Many beautiful women did not live long, nor live happily. Some died young. Some had tragic ending, especially those married to kings and princes.
Even in modern time, many beautiful persons do not have happy marriages. Some die young, either suicide or drug overdose.
What do you think? Is beauty a curse or a blessing?
3 people like this
33 responses
@derek_a (10874)
•
17 Jan 11
I always say that beauty comes from within. I have met many physically handsome people and once I have got to know them, are just like anybody else. On the other hand, I have met many plain looking people and they have the most attractive personalities and I could sit and talk with them for hours. We all see beauty in different ways I guess. There is a consensus that some film star or other is beautiful, but sometimes you can hear of their antics and they can seem to lose their attractiveness. 
_Derek
_Derek1 person likes this
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
18 Jan 11
Hi Derek, I think while many people wish that they are born beautiful, many beautiful women hope that they are less pretty.
In corporate world, whenever a beautiful woman gets promoted, everyone thinks she makes use of her beauty as an unfair advantage.
It is hard for her to make friends with other co-workers if everyone thinks the same way.
Even if she has the skill and her performance is better, others will still talk bad about her.
@jdyrj777 (6530)
• United States
19 Jan 11
God i hope thats not true. My daughter si very beatuiful. Im not just saying that because she is my daughter. Im saying that because everyone has always told me that. She is very emotional too. Sometimes depressed. She didnt have a boyfriend till she was 17. Ive been told that alot of times males are scared to approach females that are beautiful. Shes married now with 3 children. She still seems to get depressed alot.
@jdyrj777 (6530)
• United States
20 Jan 11
That is true. Although everyone thought she was beautiful she didnt see that when she looked at her reflection. I was told how beautiful she was from the day she was born and she is 29 now and people still tell me that. Males and females. My oldest daughter has even told me she is jealous of her beauty.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
20 Jan 11
Hi Jdyrj, it is sad to hear that beautiful woman, such as your daughter, is having a negative view of life.
I hope that she can appreciate her beauty, since many people would like to have her beauty.
It is human nature to admire a beautiful person. However, we tend to attach other qualities to physical beauty, such as confidence, intelligence and other qualities.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
21 Jan 11
Hi Jdyrj, I think the only way she can be happy is to change her viewpoints towards life.
She probably lives under a lot pressure due to her beauty.
Some people are just so thoughtless when they sing praises to a beautiful person, saying things like You should be a model or you should be a film star.
It creates a kind of pressure, and the sense that the beautiful person does not live up to the expectations of her friends or relatives.
@ifa225 (14364)
• Indonesia
5 Apr 11
well...i have seen many have pain because her beauty
and i also have seen many have fortune because of it too.
but i guess it all depends on how we believe it. if we believe that fortune or bad luck has nothing to do with beauty, then nothing happens.
@ifa225 (14364)
• Indonesia
6 Apr 11
Hi scheng,
i am 100% agree with you. it is the matter of luck. some people are born with beauty face, great career, rich, famous, smart and very clever.
and some born with the bad luck with ugly face, poor, not clever, unknown and fail in life.
but so many people born in average, and i am one of them
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
6 Apr 11
Hi Ifa225, there are some who are born with beautiful face, yet have a bad life in term of career, and family.
One of my friends happened to be such a person.
She looks even younger than her son. When she goes to the high school to meet her son, his classmates think that she is his younger sister.
But she has a hard life, married young to a good-for-nothing man, plus she had no talent for studies.
Even though she is an exceptional beautiful woman, she has to work in McDonald cleaning tables.
She is not even good enough for Branch manager role.
She just cannot talk well enough or manage people well.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
5 Apr 11
Hi ifa, sometimes it has nothing to do with our personal belief.
I think many people believe in fate or destiny, since they have seen too many bad things happen to kind and beautiful persons, and good things happen to the wicked persons.
Being in the right place at the right time is really a factor of luck.
Some beautiful persons end up in the s-e-x trade, while some of them become rich and famous.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
19 Jan 11
Hi Aerous, the saying about beauty being a curse is a traditional wisdom, often referring to those days when beautiful women had no say in managing their lives.
Their marriages were determined by parents, and often parents chose the rich and powerful men for them.
Some of them were selected to serve in the palace, and many did not have a chance to go home again.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
17 Jan 11
This is interesting. Are you really saying that all beautiful women in your country end up bad off? Sure many beautiful women do not live long or have happy lives, but then so do ugly or plain women.
So most good looking women in your country have unhappy lives, but plain women do not?
Do parents feel if they have a daughter that is beautiful, that it is a curse?
I have personally met some very very beautiful women. Some had good lives. Some had bad lives. Most of the women who have bad lives, made bad choices. I don't think it had to do with beauty.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
19 Jan 11
Hi Andy, that is a conventional wisdom.
There are similar sayings in different cultures. The Chinese saying basically means that the beautiful women have a hard life.
In a sense, that is true, especially in ancient times where the status of women is subordiinate to the status of men in society.
Those beautiful women often have no say over their fate, such as marriage. If they were chosen to serve in the palace, they had to go.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
19 Jan 11
Hi Andy, maybe one of the these days you should visit Vietnam or other parts of the world where parents arrange marriage for their daughters, or even sell their daughters away.
Many Singapore guys, especially middle aged blue collar workers, tend to buy a wife from Vietnam.
They just need to pay a few thousand dollars to the parents of the selected lady.
Choosing a wife is easier than choosing a car. Just pick one out of a group, and then arrange to pay the money to the agents.
After that, the agents will handle the rest, include solemnization.
At least that is better than the poor peasants in Myanmar who sold away their daughters to the human traffickers.
Those ugly ones were spared the horror. They just did not have the looks. Those good looking ones were really the unlucky ones.
Even if they could escape, there is nowhere to run. After all, their family had sold them off.
I think most of us in richer lands do not appreciate how fortunate we are.
The scary thing is that Vietnam, Myanmar and Cambodia are not that far from my place. Just a matter of half a day of flight.
That is why I am quite concern with the poverty in the region.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
19 Jan 11
Ah that makes sense. Being taken off to serve others simply because you looked good, would be a hard thing. I suppose living in America we have never had that system, so it would be hard for me to understand that.
Is the saying still true today do you think?
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
17 Jan 11
It is the same way when we have something and then how are we going to use it in a right way? yeah some misuse their beauty while some are not.it is just the way we appreciate god gift and i always believe that it is not a curse but blessing indeed.it is just the person attitude whether to use their beauty in a correct way or via versa.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
18 Jan 11
Hi CTHanum, I think we have to look at things from different perspective.
We are always looking at things from our modern perspective, that we have the choice over the way we live and work.
In history, it is not possible. Beautiful women in history did not have any control over their fate.
When King Henry executed his wives, he did not let them choose their fate.
Even in society today, women in many developing countries did not have a say in their fate.
Buying and selling of beautiful women is a big international problem. Until now, not a single government can stop human traffickers from buying and selling beautiful women.
Those poor peasants are willing to sell off their daughters, since daughters are liabilities, not assets in a poor village where everyone is poor.
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
16 Jan 11
Beaut is in the eye of the beholder. I always felt like an ugly duckling, wear both glasses and braces at different times, and never quite fitting in. I didn't have boys that wanted to date me, save a few. And as an adult, I felt very out of place. But since I turned 30, I've had a number of people (men and women) tell me how beautiful I am, what a wonderful personality I have, blah blah blah. And after my divorce, I got involved with a man who lied to me and led me on. I was frustrated--if I'm supposed to be so beautiful, why couldn't I find true love? I finally began to look inside of myself, and realized I needed to love me first. I made changes and started over. I still have a hard time thinking of myself as beautiful, but I'm not as down on myself these days either.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
17 Jan 11
Hi Scorpiobabes, it is great that you are wise as well as beautiful.
While beauty is a gift, wisdom must be cultivated.
I hope you can spend more time listening to the elders who care for you, and learn the wisdom of life from them.
They are the ones with more experience in dealing with people.
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
17 Jan 11
Thank you for your kind words. I have not always listened to my elders though because they didn't always have good advice or suggestions. My mother favored a boy that later raped me. But both of my parents are deceased now and can no longer give me advice.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
17 Jan 11
I don't think it is a curse. At times it can be a burden, but I don't think it is a curse. It can be a gift as well as you will often get more attention and doors will open more easily for beautiful people more than normal people. I think the burden comes when too much unwanted attention is received. Sometimes when other people are attracted to an attractive person and the attractive person is not interested in them the person can become a nuisance to that attractive person, and can sometimes even do strange or bad things, that is where the trajety of which you speak comes from.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
19 Jan 11
Hi Ladym33, it is true that beauty can be a burden at times.
Usually when beautiful ladies get the job promotions, people will start to say things that are not true.
I think it is harder for them to differentiate between people who love them for who they are and people who love them for their looks.
@nangisha (3496)
• Indonesia
18 Jan 11
I don't see it as curse if not why people even work hard to look more beautiful like wearing make up. I think beauty give more access to many think including the bad thing. Like many rich guys said having beautiful woman beside them is another sign of success. I think if you beautiful you had to be more strong and smart than regular woman because they have more temptation to deal with.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
19 Jan 11
Hi Nangisha, it is true that wisdom and strength of character must complement beauty, otherwise many people will take advantage of beautiful women.
I think it is harder for beautiful women in many aspects of life, such as seeking true love.
They definitely have more admirers than other plain simple persons. However, it is hard to know whether people love them for their looks or their personality.
In history, beauty can be a curse. Looking at the life stories of many beautiful women in male dominated society in those days. Most do not have a choice in deciding matter.
They either have to serve the royal families, with risk of execution if the king and queen were in a bad mood, or they were given away as peace offering when two countries were fighting.
@tessa9 (1085)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
I still believe that beauty is a blessing. People often thinks that beautiful people are confident but some girls are the opposite. I have worked with a lot of beautiful girls with low self esteem. I had a roommate before when we went overseas that constantly needed validation that she is pretty. She tends to self destruct when she feels 'ugly'. I think that beauty only becomes a curse when you want more and your never contented with what you have. I read an article before that says that it is actually not good for people to keep on complimenting children that they are pretty because they will see this as their only identity. If there will come a time when they will not longer hear that they are pretty then they will feel that they are nothing.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
6 Apr 11
Hi Tessa9, i think your room mate fears that her beauty will not last forever.
if people love her for her beauty, then she definitely will feel terrified.
I think in many cases, beauty is an asset, if combined with many other factors for success.
Those who are just beautiful, without wisdom or self esteem or other talents, are just having a beautiful face.
@DoctorDidi (7018)
• India
26 Jan 11
Beauty is no doubt a blessing which should be adorned but sometimes it is paid just the reverse of what it deserves and then it seems to be a curse.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
27 Jan 11
Hi Doctordidi, sometimes when people want to make use of beautiful persons or when beautiful persons make use of beauty in the wrong sense, then the result is disastrous.
I read the newspaper today about human trafficking.
Many rural women were still being trafficked out of poor provinces in China, and sold to brothels around the world.
I think in this case, beauty is definitely a curse. Those ugly rural women will not end up in this situation.
@rabblerouser (136)
• South Africa
17 Jan 11
Interesting topic.....maybe I should tell folks to go to my profile and rate the
way I look ......but that would be unfair ......they might have nightmares for years :)....not to mention years of therapy :):)......beauty is in the eye of the beholder
@aprilsong (1884)
• China
17 Jan 11
Hi,i think to make it a blessing or a curse, sometimes it depends on how do you treat and use your beautiful looks.
You know, we chinese have similar statement to say what a beauty is. It is called"dangerous beauty". They mean a beauty can bring down a kingdom. But i think if not for the men's lechery, how can the beauty did the harm?
And on the contrary, if you use your beautiful looks for good terms, you can do good for the society and a kingdom. There are some examples in ancient times, a beautiful princess married the king of another kingdom, with her help, the two kingdom went on good terms for a very long term. And the people of the two kingdom have not suffered from war in dozens of years.
You mention that beautiful women are often not happy. I do agree with you. But most time, it is their own fault. Haven't you notice that those girls with beautiful faces often got too much things to do, so they may turn their attention from study in schools? On the contrary, those plain girls try to make up their shortcoming in outlook by study hard. And eventually, those plain girls become "swans" from "ugly ducks". While some of those beautiful girls may become "flower vase".
Of course, if the beautiful girls are not deluded from outside temptations, and have a wise eyes to see the world, they will benefit from their good looking.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
18 Jan 11
Hi Aprilsong, actually looking at history, at the life story of those beautiful women, it is true that beauty is more like a curse than a blessing.
The princess who was married off did not have a say in the marriage arrangement too. Some were not princesses by birth.
They were just beautiful women in the countryside, selected to serve in the palace, and they had to listen to whatever the emperors said.
Even the only female Emperor. who made use of her beauty and intelligence to become the Emperor, did not have a good ending.
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
It depends actually.. but whatever is given by God (beautiful or not) nevertheless is still a gift. It also depends on how a person uses it. I do agree that some beautiful people didn't live happy lives, but there are also other who did.
It also depends on how a person uses it. I do agree that some beautiful people didn't live happy lives, but there are also other who did. @scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
18 Jan 11
Hi Stanley777, actually many people do not have the choice to make use of their gifts in life, whether it is beauty or not.
We are looking at things from the modern perspective, especially from the developed countries point of views.
What about those beautiful women in history? How many of them had good ending? Look at how many wives King Henry executed.
All of them were definitely persons of exceptional beauty, otherwise they would not be queens in the first place.
Those beautiful women in developing countries, especially in extremely poor countries, may not fare better. The international human traffickers are always on the lookout to kidnap or buy beautiful women from poor peasants, with promise of jobs.
@momof3kids (1894)
• Singapore
17 Jan 11
When I was lying on the delivery bed with the second child, two beautiful doctors came by to see me. They were teaching other student doctors what my condition was. In other words these are pretty and smart women.
Now my third child seems to be on the beautiful side and I am determined not to let her beauty become a curse.
I know what you mean by the curse thing but i think your upbringing is important to let it be a curse or a blessing. My advice is to focus on the intellect and when this child has grown up confident of her cleverness, her beauty becomes a bonus. Thats my aim anyway.
@jamed28 (1903)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Beauty is definitely a blessing. I don't believe those ancient people beliefs that it is a curse. They make it a curse, because they force beautiful women to marry them. Well maybe if you still leave in a placed ruled by a cruel king like the one in the movie "Brave Heart", then you will really think that beauty is a cursed. If beauty is a curse then Vicky Belo might be jobless. Sorry if you don't know that name.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
18 Jan 11
Hi Jamed28, you are right to mention history.
That saying about beauty being a curse is a traditional wisdom.
The saying is based on history. Even when the kings or emperors were good, they had the practice of scouting the country for beautiful women to serve in the palace.
Many famous women in history did not have normal good ending, as in surrounded by loving husband, many children or grandchildren in old age.
Some of them were not able to live to old age. Some were poisoned by jealous Queens, some were executed. Some were given as peace offering between two warring countries.
Looking at history, it is hard not to agree that beauty is a curse, definitely for some if not most of those beautiful women.
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
17 Jan 11
I think blessings that gave from God are often come with curse. Not from God, but from the dark side of anybody, curse is everywhere. We sometimes get angry and even do serious mistakes. Changing a blessing to a curse is also found in history. Furthermore, we do the same thing in our life nowadays. I am not trying to say there's no hope, I just emphasis that all things have its two sides.
"There's nothing bad or good, but we think there is".
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
18 Jan 11
Hi Lotswits, yes, I definitely agree with you.
There are two sides to everything. Nobody can have all the good things in the world. Some people have excellent memories. Some have beauty. Some are very intelligent, and some are gifted with musical or artistic abilities.
It is true that beauty is a curse in many instances in history.
Many beautiful women suffered premature and tragic ending, due to jealousy on the part of other beautiful women.
@arvind_mangal2002 (124)
• India
17 Jan 11
Hey beauty is not a curse at all. But ya anybody should not proud on his beauty. He should be thankful to god..
Thanks
