Why Father's Now a Days So Cruel...???

I have a great father, kind and generous. I wish everyone did!

I think your father is teaching you how to be independent and you should be glad of it. As I see from your picture here, you are not a boy anymore, you should be able to support yourself. I have a brother who always asks for money, even now that he is married and have two children. Never be independent to the extend that he would lie to every one in the family just to get some money. Sometimes I blamed my parents for giving in to him when they should be strict and let him support himself.

At what point are your parents no longer responsible for you? I try to help my kids no matter how old they are, but they rarely ask me because they know that money is short all over.

I haven't had my father for the last sixteen years of my life because he passed away when I was only fourteen years old. However, I think that if my family was to find ourselves in a tight place and he was still alive there would be no hesitation in his mind that he would help us out. The reason that I feel that way is because of the fact that when he was alive everything that he did was for his family.

Actually I don't have a problem about that. If I ask my dad for money, he will give it to me. Probably because I don't ask for money. He just gives me some. LOL! But if I were you, I won't hold it against my dad. If you're old enough to get a job then you must be mature enough to budget your money. If you're really in a tight situation and need money badly, maybe you can make a deal with your dad. Ask for a loan. You'll have to negotiate a time frame for you to pay it back and the interest involved. Your dad is probably just teaching you how to provide for yourself. I think he pretty much cares about you a lot to even bother to say NO to you. I wish my dad was like that. So I would be forced to work my a$$ off. LOL!

I have to say your father is so strict to you

Hi. Tushavi. I can understand where you are coming from. It would be nice if your father, would lend you the money. I mean, it is not like it is a lot of money anyway. It would not hurt for him to give you some money. My father does not give me money like that. He received his Disability settlement and he did not put one penny in my hand yet. I am not worrying about it either. It is very sad though. If he acts this way, then don't bother with asking with him for any money anymore.

and you find that cruel? no offense tushavi, if you are working then find ways so your money will fit..maybe your father does not have money or he wants you to teach something...there is nothing cruel about that..there are a lot more cruel things in this world than not giving money

I don't ask my father for money. I don't live at home anymore and I earn my own money. When I was younger my father sometimes gave me money. He also helped me when I was a student so that I could concentrate on my studies instead of having a part time job. I really appreciate that, but now that I work I am able to earn my own money. If I were you I would look for an extra income. I don't know what kind of job you have, but maybe you could combine it with something else in order to earn more or work some extra hours. If you do that you can handle the situation on your own, and you don't have to ask your father for money.

My dad has not given me any money since I was 18. If I was you I think you should learn to budget the money you make and then you will have a way to pay the bills. If I had a job I would never ask my parents for money as they should not pay the bills you should as your the one who has ran up the bills. Why should your dad give you money when your working you could work extra shifts or sell stuff on ebay to get more money.

Hello Tushavi, I wouldn't rush to the conclusion your father was cruel to you. Did he explain his reason for the refusal? If I had been a father of an 20 years old son, I would have sent him away to get a real job to be able to support himself. Maybe this was your father's reason, too. I wouldn't ask my parents for money, I'd be ashamed to do that. When I needed money to complete the amount for my new car, I asked them for some money, but I told them that was a loan. And a loan it was. I paid them back every cent in three months. They didn't want to take back the money, but I insisted because I wouldn't have felt well knowing that I took their money for my pleasure.

I could care less about my dad giving me money. It's more important for a father to actually be there for their kids, no matter what their age. I'd rather have my dad refuse to give me money rather than have the relationship I have with him right now, which is pretty much non-existent. Because of various, rather dumb reasons, I am not talking to him right now, and he is not talking to pretty much any of his family besides his wife and stepchildren. I think that's way more cruel than refusing to give money.