hoping to find somebody who deserves to have me
By zaga_cleuth
@zaga_cleuth (1407)
Philippines
May 2, 2011 11:38am CST
Well, I have suitors and admirers but, I don't think they deserve to have me. Sorry, it's not that I have so much pride, but, of course if you are in my situation someone whom other people are looking up to (not for boasting), and I think every girls will agree that they wanted to have somebody, whom they feel deserving for having them.
Ok, I'll tell you. I'm a student leader, a scholar, a business woman and here comes a man who doesn't even think about his future. Doesn't even think about what life is. Enjoying as if he doesn't have parents to return his blessings to. I know you get what I mean. And that guy wants to have me. So I have this thought in mind, what he likes about me? I don't know, seems like, he will just use me if ever I'll give him chance. Am I right??
Well, I decided not to let him court me. Cuz from the very start I know I won't answer him yes. Wait, for those who think I'm rude cuz I never gave him chance, well, I should say, I asked him first, if he could change his ways, and if he wants to do something like business or just study, well, he refuse. I'm trying to persuade him, just to see me as a model or what but he doesn't want to. So am I rude still? I gave him chance but he just don't like it. So I guess I made a right decision, right girls??
Of course I wanted to have somebody who deserves me, who can say they don't wish to??
Happy mylotting :)
10 responses
@dlemza (47)
• South Africa
3 May 11
Relationship are one strange group of feelings for one another. Sometimes you will think you have done the right thing but along the way end up regretting that very first moment you said hi when he said hallow. Honestly, I don't think it is right that one partner struggles to make life easy for both while the other does nothing. That is unfair. But if your criteria is too strict, then it will repel your mr right somehow. Remember, it is not money that hold the relationship together, but love. Beware of opportunists too. I just relieved a lady who had guts to keep my ID book in her bag for three months even when I complained about it. In the end I had to let her go for there is 2% change towards the better mutual understanding of life, but 50% rush to move in, get engaged, get married and every other idea suitable to her. I am lonely and free from senseless argument that alwasy turn to quarrel. Good luck
@zaga_cleuth (1407)
• Philippines
3 May 11
I know what you feel. I see the guy who wants court me as opportunist. Because if he's not, probably he'll do everything to have me, in a way that he will let himself be improve too. I can't just give him fish. I taught him how to fish, yet he doesn't like the thought. And so, what I did was, turned him down.
Of course, nobody here, wants to be in a relationship wherein its only the man, or the woman who pay the bills, who talks about future or talks about financial thing or maybe about dreams, aspirations. If someone is really eager to be somebody in the future he/she must have dreams. Cuz that is the only thing that makes a human productive. Cuz without it, then there's no direction.
I taught him to think about it, but, he doesn't give a damn listening to me. Simple thing like listening is important too, and yet he doesn't have that. That's why I think I really deserve someone better. Though my standards and criteria is not set so high.
@Andyvil (793)
• Philippines
3 May 11
I don't think you are rude Zaga. I think it is better to turn down someone early if you really don't feel any connection. I think it is much ruder for someone to let her suitor think that they have a chance when in fact she really doesn't have any interest on the guy. I believe that all women for that matter deserves a guy who would not only love and take care of them but would also be a good provider. As for your decision I think there are no wrong and right decisions regarding with matters of the heart.
@zaga_cleuth (1407)
• Philippines
3 May 11
Thanks Andyvil.
True. And I truly believe what you said. Of course, it's better than being ostentatious that I like him though I'm not smitten to him. I don't wanna end up, like he's mad at me cuz I did that to him. I let him for long. Etc.
@martinnshann (340)
• Bahrain
2 May 11
Hi there!
I think even if youfind someone whom you think is having a good standing in life, it doesn't give assurance hat he deserves you or you deserve to be with him too. You can't entertain a suitor if you are not interested to him. You're not being rude, you're just being who you are. People are different, people find love in their own ways. But love can't suit always your way. Love is free.
@zaga_cleuth (1407)
• Philippines
3 May 11
Yupz. Love is free. I agree with you. I'm not looking for an assurance it's just that, I don't need somebody who obviously will use me. Just because, I can't just live with love. Of course, if he courts me and he has no job, studying not too, and had a mama-papa cash cows, then what will happen to us.
And I don't like anybody, even my friends, I told them not to be so dependent on their parents. They must be doing something in order to help their parents.
@LeighAnne93 (129)
•
2 May 11
I think everyone deserves someone who treats them right and someone who "deserves" them, but I think you may miss out on someone great if you write them off because they don't have a set career plan and just enjoy life. There's a saying opposites attract for a reason. His career should have nothing to do with how he treats you, and you may come across someone with all the same business goals and attitudes as you but who treats you badly. Good on you for having standards, but give some people a chance.
@zaga_cleuth (1407)
• Philippines
3 May 11
Yes. I attract them but, I don't think I'm attracted to him. :)
Thanks for the response:)
@blogger01 (124)
• Philippines
2 May 11
We can never just people for what they are. However, it is still good to want the best for yourself. Sometimes, we can never really force ourselves to love or to like somebody. In my opinion, we will know who deserve us or who we deserve. Love comes and we can't stop it when it's there. I guess, you not just meant to be and yes, you gave him a chance, he didn't grab, so it's his loss. :)
@zaga_cleuth (1407)
• Philippines
3 May 11
I gave him the chance to be somebody. To change his ways. But, he doesn't want to so I decided not to let him court me and I turned him down. Thanks cuz U agreed with me.
Happy mylotting.
@evoldahc (35)
• Philippines
2 May 11
While it is true that with the current global economic situation there is no time to waste for happy-go-lucky people who doesn't seem to care to secure even their own future, it must be taken into account that love and the concept of "who-deserves-who" cannot be built solely around this criterion. Yes you can choose who you think deserves to have you but it is no assurance that you also deserve to have him and that life with the one you chose will be a happy one. Furthermore, it can't also assure you that love can be found with the one who you think deserves to have you. There are many couples who seem to have a secure and stable relationship and life, but are not really happy with each other because they founded their relationship not on love and understanding but for practical reasons. And one more thing, I believe in the saying: "We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter." :)
@zaga_cleuth (1407)
• Philippines
3 May 11
Yup. I agree with you. Just because I can't just give myself to somebody whom I think won't give me much happiness I wanted to have. Not because I have standards but because love can't stand alone.
@dreamy1 (3811)
• United States
2 May 11
Good for you. More young women need to have an attitude such as yours. If he is around your age it could just be simple immaturity. He may grow out of it, he may not. It's true some "boys" are just out to use a woman they see doing well. They may try to charm you into taking care of them. Choose carefully now and avoid heartache later.
@zaga_cleuth (1407)
• Philippines
3 May 11
Thanks for the response. Actually, I'm not looking for an ideal man or so, it's just that, I need somebody who can be mature enough to take good care of me. Because I don't think we will be ok in a relationship because I can't withstand that immaturity.
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
2 May 11
I'm only going to address the question, not your attitude.
It sounds like you have a very strict set of criteria for what you want in a man. I see nothing wrong with that, provided you're prepared for the possibility that (a) a man like that might not want you and (b) you might not find anyone that fits your strict criteria.
If you can, though, why not? As long as you're both happy.
It sounds like you have a very strict set of criteria for what you want in a man. I see nothing wrong with that, provided you're prepared for the possibility that (a) a man like that might not want you and (b) you might not find anyone that fits your strict criteria.
If you can, though, why not? As long as you're both happy.@zaga_cleuth (1407)
• Philippines
3 May 11
Maybe, it sounds that way but, it's not about that. I just wanted to have somebody who will think of stability too, and fun. I'm practical and a lover too. People can't live with love alone.
I had a bad experience with people who are happy go lucky. I thought before, that when you're in love it's ok, as long you both are happy. But, it seems like, I was the only one who give effort for us to have money to spend on our dates. Til one day I felt like, he didn't court me not because he loves me, just because I'm stable.
I hate that thought. I don't like others to use me again. That's why I don't want any other guy who'll do the same thing again to me. They must be the provider. I'm still young, so I guess there'll be somebody out there whom I deserve to have. And we'll both be happy.
Thanks for your response. :)
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
5 May 11
There is nothing at all wrong with hoping to find a person that deserves to have you. Now I've been happily married for nearly the last seven years and we've spent the last nine years of our lives together. I immediately knew when I met my husband that he was the person that I would be spending the rest of my life with. He was a person that treated me like a princess but was also my equal. These were both things that were important to me. Additionally, my mother immediately liked him which was a great benefit as well.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
4 May 11
I think falling in love is easy. The tricky part is how to incorporate your head into the equation so that you'd have a bright (or better) future.
I think it is important to really know somebody before you even venture into a courtship. Even if a person has nothing now, as long as he has ambition, then the possibilities of living a life together could be entertained.
I don't blame you zaga for moving on. I think it's just mature-thinking on your part. Goodluck!
