choose from divorce, or a contract that expires but can be renewed

@tigeraunt (6331)
Philippines
June 17, 2011 9:07am CST
it is a very popular topic now with the congressmen and other lawmakers. they are trying to pass a bill in congress making divorce legal. there are so many debates going on and people have their comments - some positive.. others negative. the philippines is the only country left without a divorce law. [b]can you please give your opinion on this matter? if you were anywhere in this world, would you favor divorce, or not? or would you rather get married with expiration, say 10 years. but you can either renew the marriage or just let it expire. what do you say? [/b]
4 people like this
13 responses
• Philippines
20 Jun 11
Renewable marriage? I bet wedding coordinators would soon have (even) more bookings for renewal vows/ weddings after THAT law is passed! Hahaha!
2 people like this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
20 Jun 11
hello mia, it is a funny kind of suggestion but then i am sure many eye brows will move a little higher than usual. haha! but mind you, i am seeing responses who prefer these type of arrangement. have a nice day. thank you for your input. ann
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jun 11
"To each his own." That's how I would react to what you just said. But I understand and know how they feel. I personally know people who would favor divorce and renewable marriage set-ups. But personally, it's not for me. I want to keep the sacrament of marriage and my wedding vows as sacred as I possibly can. Diyos ko, "Knock on wood!". :D
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
20 Jun 11
Well, for me I don't really think that either of these options are the right option. However, since I have to choose between the two, I think that I would choose a renewable contract. I know that I would renew my marriage contract through the duration of my life. However, I do know that there are a lot of other people that are not happy with their marriages, but given some time before their contract expired, there might be a chance that they would be able to work out their problems in the years that were left in the contract or renewal of the contract.
2 people like this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
hi dora, you are not alone in this option. i have read and responded to some now and i am not at all surprised. women and men today are more practical. of course am not saying that we have lost the sense of sacredness in marriage because we all know that for a successful marriage, both parties have to work it out. but, and i say but - if the time comes that it could no longer be patched no matter how much each other tries, then i say the answer is divorce. renewable? - yeah why not. ann
@2004cqui (2823)
• United States
18 Jun 11
Marriage is a matter of opinion. Religion has been around for a very short while in terms of the existence of man. It's a relatively new life style. Back in my teens I knew two things. I was never going to get married or I would find the "perfect" man. Thinking my list of requirements was too long to ever fulfill I was banking on never getting married. But enough about me. New statistics show that if you're married you are in the minority in the States. The generation my children are in is the first to rarely get married. Women can support themselves now. Religion is dieing out, primarily because of corruption. People are seeing their gift of 5% of their income to their church getting stolen. Then there is the hassle of joining their income and savings with another only to have to divide it if divorce occurs. When divorce does happen couples fight in court over division of property and the custody of their children. Personally I would never want to see my children go through that mess and they're adults now!Lets not forget the children! By the way, for those who are curious, an annulment in the Catholic church is granted, if and only if it is soon found out the marriage was granted under false pretenses, etc. In other words if one of the parties withheld disclosure of a terrible criminal past, association with a group or groups of a destructive nature, etc. Imagine finding out you married a terrorist!
2 people like this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
hello cqui, i know 5 ladies now who unfortunately are pregnant. some, have planned the baby, others not. but when asked whether they want to get married after the baby comes out, all their answers were no. well 2 have already married partners (so they are out of the soon to be married), the rest are single partners but does not want to get married. seems to the new generation, marriage is not as sacred as we once thought it was. ann
@naija4real (1293)
18 Jun 11
In Nigeria and in most parts of africa, divorce is not a acceptable practice, no matter how sad one is in the marriage. A woman is expected to live with the man all throughout her life whether she is happy or not. It is believed the woman is the property of the man. Also, the bible that most christian read today in their various churches also frowns at divorce. It is believed that marriage is a life-long business and should not be ended by any of the party. I hold the opinion that this frequent divorce as practised in the industrialized country is a wrong habit the western world such as united states, britain, germany etc is selling to other parts of the world. Why can't man and women live together as man and wife. why end it such a happy union when one take an oath before the lord in the present of the priest. So I will say that my culture ( that is african culture ) frown at divorce. If there is difference in the marriage which is not too strange, it is a fact that it can be settled peacefully by close relative. Come to think of it, the price both couple will pay for divorcing is sometimes enormous because their children also suffer. All members of that family will now be living apart. The couple also carry hang over of the disappointment they suffer into another relationship. I believe it is better to stay single rather than engage in relationship with another person only to end it with divorce.
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
hello naija, for catholics, it is also our belief that what God united, only God can separate. that makes marriage sacred. but so many people dont follow nor value its sacredness. they take on more women and introduce them as wife (when it is not true), sometimes leaving the real wife for the second wife. too bad. ann
@menace730 (506)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
Hi Ann...Marriage is a commitment. I do not agree with having an expiration date put on it. That's like having a warranty put on it. I do believe though that they should make divorce legal but make it a little difficult to do. There are abusive relationships where the women/man by all means should be allowed to divorce. And if we are married in the eyes of God...hmmm...what would His opinion be...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
i definitely agree with this one.. marriage depends also on how you view it. maybe just a mere paper or for a bigger though a commitment. well marriage does not account on the papers.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
hello, divorce law governs other issues arising upon marriage such as spousal abuse, child abuse, legitimacy, adoption. specific provisions protect either spouse from physical and emotional abuse by the other. the provisions in this law do not have gender considerations, since abuse can happen to both parties. this law is implemented differently in various ways, due to factors of religion, culture and tradition. divorce law is not for a marriage that is successful. i agree that marriage is a commitment and when you are committed, you will do everything to make it work. ann
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
First thing,if you have divorce or renewable contract in mind before marriage, it's better to single for life.At least you can have all the freedom that you need.However,if you are in chaotic marriage,it's better to have a divorce than to suffer in a marriage that could only make your life miserable.I'm not in favor of a a renewable marriage license.What are they thinking?Marriage is not like buying a car that as time passed,you'll think if you will still renew your registration or just buy a new one.Well,I guess everybody will always want a new one.Then what would happen to all of these women?
1 person likes this
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
For me not good to the eyes of Jehovah God and the eyes to the people around who is whole some one.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
dear ebuscat, for catholics, it is also our belief that what God united, only God can separate. that makes marriage sacred. but many dont follow nor value its sacredness. ann
@nurseclare (2210)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
I'd prefer a contract with an expiration for 10 years and be renewed. Divorce is a crap and i don't agree with it. I wish all marriages will not end into divorce because the kids will suffer in the end.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
hello nurseclare, you have a funny answer but of course marriage is a commitment for life. a couple has to work for it, not just one - or it will not succeed. lots of people say, divorce loses the sanctity of marriage, but i dont think it that way. if the couple is really committed to the marriage, they dont need divorce. ann
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
17 Jun 11
hello tigeraunt, I've started a topic about "marriage renewal/expiration" month ago. My views in this matter is...it is better to have a expiration date,thu it still sounds like divorce aint? In this manner, it won't be hard for couples to decide whether they will renew their vows or not. Sounds funny and really ridiculous...then why get married if we think it wouldn't lasts. but,then again...this is better than suffering or living in a relationship full of pretending,sorrows and cheating. Some couples look perfectly happy and an image of having a good family,yet hiding inside their masks,showing the community they are happy together due to "public status". I knew some couples who are not married,living together for many years and are happier than those having the grandest wedding in town. I know kids in the picture would somehow suffer...thus,legality should be given and should be taken seriously in this matter of divorce and separation. have a great weekend ahead
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
hello jaiho, i heard of this idea from my architect friend who has not been married despite his having 3 children. yes, true! i was asking officemates as well - all married. and they were all saying they would not have married if they get back in time. it was some joking around kind of a chat but, well, i guess everyone should wonder why their answer was like that. marriage is a contract between two mature people who promises to live together in sickness and in health. but promises seems to have been forgotten, or maybe they have changed. not all commitments are given priority and there is the fault. so whether it is a marriage, or a contract renewable, it is the same contract. and when there is breach there should be an answer to it. for me, i am for legalizing divorce. a happy marriage doesnt need one. but for those who are having trouble despite many attempts to make their marriage work - it is the answer. ann
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
17 Jun 11
i think i would choose the renewable one if i am in a situation where i am yet to get married. but if i am married and has a horrible experience, i would choose divorce.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
hello bing, i am very happy to know how open minded you are. thank you so much for your response. ann
@chuyins123 (2118)
• Philippines
17 Jun 11
No matter where we stand people could always have a rebuttal, an argument, etc. I personally believe and stand firm with my view that MARRIAGE should be lasting as life. Pardon me for inserting my "re-legious" view here, but as a man who believes in the ultimate creator, I believe we should value and know how to treasure the sanctity of MARRIAGE. That is why, I am so much of a supporter for the churches who calls out for couples planning to get married to undergo marriage seminars - not to give them the whole picture of married life - but to at least give them an idea and try to ponder on themselves if they really are ready to be into it. Marriage is a phase in life that we should only take a step into if we really are DECIDED and DETERMINED to live up to this stage. It isn't easy I guess but it's something that should be for a lifetime. To cut the argument short, I am anti DIVORCE and anti Expiration of marriage contracts (I find expiration thing funny).
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
17 Jun 11
hi chuyins, i too find that funny but i got the idea from an architect during our lunch break chat. would you believe, everyone on that table was pro-divorce. why i asked? is it because your marriages are not doing well? no, they said. but because most religious people now join politics. a very hilarious answer. no offense, but i couldnt help from laughing like them. it was just some chattering.. thank you for your response. ann
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
18 Jun 11
Marriage is a legal binding contract between two people, mostly in love with each other. I think that dissolving a marriage through today's legal system or through a new system of expiration; either way you are going through a separation. So what's the different? One, you would not have to pay an attorney to do the paper work for the divorce and there would be not court appearance necessary, but in the end it all means the same thing, you are no longer husband and wife.
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Jun 11
tigeraunt I live in America but we have divorce laws here and a lot of us stay married. If I had to choose and had no third choice I would get married with a ten year contract. thai is if I could not have the choice to stay married for a life time. this is an odd choice and I am glad I never had to make it as this ten year contract is saying nobody will ever stay married for life.
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
hi hatley, of course there is that thing as getting married and staying married for life. my mom and dad were married for 52 years before dad passed away. and other aunts and uncles, they had good marriages too. but the younger generations - 2 cousins had broken families.. could not remarry because there is no divorce law. i guess its too sad for them. yeah, the 10 year contract seems silly. ann