I got a "thing" for the Boss

United States
July 20, 2011 4:37pm CST
Okay, many of you know about the younger guy thing I was talking about some days ago. He was my boss. The contract for the company we were working for was lost. There has been a revamp done and now the company is starting back up again. Who do you think they called first to come back to work? That's right, me. I told him I would not work for him anymore. I have a "thing" for him and since we have not been working together we have become rather close or so I thought. I'm not sure I want to work directly under someone I have a thing for. I think it is a distraction for me. However, I need this money. It is a good paying gig for me and it will enhance my resume ten times over with the course of study I am in. I just don't know about working for him. I mean, I know I love him. I am sure I could hold it together for the money, but it will be hard. He is the type that is going to go for the money. He wants me on the team because I am good at what I do. Not to mention I am a people person. I played a major role in the increase of sales on the former contract. What do you all think? I will probably end up working for him again. He will hound me an chase after me until I say yes anyway. Which most likely means are chance for romance has been put on the back burner yet again. I am not so upset about it though. We both are still building things in our lives its just I wish we hadn't gotten so close. It too late to turn back now. Should I work for him or not?
4 people like this
20 responses
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
20 Jul 11
U like the job. U are good in it. U say the company will benefit from you. I suggest u join. But make it a point. relationship is after office hours. both of u should make a resolution.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 11
I wish. He doesn't like to date women he works with. This is my issue. We had established this before. But since the prior company shut down we still maintained our friendship and talked often. He even went so far as to tell me a couple weeks ago that he has always seen me as his partner. Now WTF does this mean? What kind of partner are we talking about? Business or "LIFE" partner. He didn't explain. I didn't ask. But now that this whole company is back up and running I want to know what the deal is.
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
20 Jul 11
U can talk to him plainly and find out. it requires a lot of give and take to make a pair.
• United States
25 Jul 11
Yeah, I could. Not that I haven't thought about this. For now, I'm not going to do or say anything. I'm going to keep building my piece of the puzzle and watch. I'm pretty sure enough has been said between us already. Remember we've friends for three years. I think my silence can prove golden. If I see the need to say something I most certainly will.
20 Jul 11
Sure. Just make sure you charge him double.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 11
Too bad he's not the owner, but he will definitely try and get me to build the company revenue with and for him so that he looks good. That's just it. I make him look good. I am so tired of being pimped it seems. If it wasn't for me needing that money I would tell him "NO" and stick to it. I just can't turn down any money right now. I can't. Charging him double won't make me feel the discomfort I'm going to feel though. Although it would cushion my purse, LOL...
2 people like this
20 Jul 11
A padded purse has got to be better than a padded cell. Is there no way you can get credit for sales in your name rather than his?
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 11
I will get credit in my name, it's more the point of having to work for him to start with. We are all individual in the company. He wants me to be his assistant again. Train everyone, be his backbone like I was before. I just feel used on the job. I just gotta have this money though. Right now that's more important I suppose. I will get over having to work for him. I might just do part time so I don't have to talk to him all day every day.
@funnysis (2619)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I would work for him and let the romance fall where it may,if it is meant for you to be together then working for him will not change that.I beleive that you have to keep relationships and work seperate though so don't let that interfere with your work.I wish you luck and have a great day.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 11
Exactly. Work and relationships don't mix unless you are a husband and wife team who started a company together. That is not the case with us. Maybe I could pretent, lol. Just kidding. I know better than to do that. I think you are right though for me to just let the romance fall and make the money instead. If it's meant it'll happen naturally. I just wish I knew the outcome of some stuff sometimes.
@celticeagle (118276)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Jul 11
You're smart to realize the emotion situation you could be getting yourself into. Perhaps he wants you to come back to work for him because he feels the same way about you. Very few people can work together day in and day out and also have a personal relationship. That is why many companies have it in their guidelines that employees can't be married or have relationships.
• United States
25 Jul 11
In this case, we are building something together. This is something we have successfully done in the past and well, we're getting another go of it. I can totally see him wanting this best girl on the scene. I would. I knows what he has in me. The good thing this time is that I also can see. I just didn't know it would show up like this. Totally was blind sided with this one. I am loving every second of it. I've decided to stop obsessing over it and just enjoy this journey. I'm only getting this chance.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (118276)
• Boise, Idaho
25 Jul 11
Something together? Obsessing doesn't help that is for sure. Hope it works out for you.
• United States
22 Aug 11
Not really sure what you mean by obsessing but whatever. I won't give a lot of thought as it comes across as negative. Either way...
• United States
21 Jul 11
If you can keep your feelings , romantic feelings to yourself , then work for him. You need both the money and the experience. Go for it. After the job is done , Then pursue romance.
• United States
25 Jul 11
I can. I will. Fortunately, a lot of the work I have to do for him requires me to work very closely with him. I love that! It's more time to get to learn him and know him better. I share his vision so it is easy for me to work for him. I have to learn to order the feelings. I love this man. I can't even believe I've been bitten by the freakin love bug again. I was doing so well avoiding it and I'll be darn if it didn't do it to me anyway, lol...oh well...here we go!
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jul 11
Yes, it is complicated now but being in love Feels so good.I hope you do the job , get to know him so much better , and when the project is done , one of you work wise moves on so romance can grow.
• United States
22 Aug 11
Isn't that the operative plan, lol? I would hope something so whimsical could happen. I have often heard, "if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck"...since it so closely appears this way I have to say I am suspect. I am enjoying the romance of it all right now. The building of a company together. Sharing our dreams, goals, and aspirations. Talking about nothing sometimes. Just whatever. I am loving every second of it. I mean. I feel blessed and fortunate to have this experience with such a wonderful person. He so much to me already. I could go great distances with him.
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
21 Jul 11
I can speak from the side of having a thing for the boss. I like my boss that I work with right now. I have people telling me that he likes me too, but I don't know that for a fact. We might not have a totally professional relationship, but it works for us. I know you have seen my post about getting away with yelling at him. I don't know if that is because he likes me or because he respects me as a worker. I don't know that I would be able to continue to work for him if we were to start having a relationship.
• United States
21 Jul 11
So you understand what I mean then. My guy is totally going to go for the superior job at work. If that means he has to put us on the back burner for our relationship he will. He is more interested in being able to care for his son. Men are that way. They want to know they can take care of a family before they dive in head first. Men don't truly like being dependent. It's not their makeup. I am just going to see what happens. I am won't say anything. I am going to work for him. I have thought about it. I need this money. It is vital to me and my daughter's livelihood. I will still be working on what I need to do for me though. When I reach my own personal goal. I am done working for him. I hope he knows this.
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
21 Jul 11
I hope all works out for you with this job and working with the guy. My problem with my boss if you have not figured out from my posts lately is that he can be such a pain in my butt and immature. Heck...maybe that is WHY I like him. He keeps my life interesting.
• United States
25 Jul 11
I don't doubt this at all. This is exactly how I feel. Like my life is interesting. I mean it's been a long time since I was really into someone like this. I mean really into them. I had given up on that until I met him. We are so much alike and relate on a level that amazes me every time it presents itself. A meeting of the minds. Funny how we both like dealing with each other in that way. To be honest, I feel like I've dated him for the past three years. I smile as I think about how we naturally kinda flowed together this way. I completely want do be apart of his vision for his life as it so closely relates to my own. I don't think I've ever admired another person more.
@wiguen (551)
• United States
21 Jul 11
feeling and work together not a good thing, but... but if i said if you self controlled you will be fine. focus on what you have to do and do it, forget about those little smile, try the payback time method for man its to make him want you while you just ignore everything.
• United States
25 Jul 11
I am definitely going to have to give this a try although, I don't think I'll have to do much of it. I understand him and where he is in his life, so it's all good with me. I won't necessarily have to ignore him because we are each in respect of what the other has to do. Love it! I don't have to repeatedly ask for things from him. He automatically gives it. It may not be on demand but I trust that he's going to do what he says. He usually does...
@wiguen (551)
• United States
26 Jul 11
i feel love in your soul from where i am, that's good, hope you can manage that in your favor.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
21 Jul 11
Involving Romance in a job is a bad thing. You stated before that you love him but to what extent. Cuz if you loved him a lot then I suggest you tell him. You know he could behave different towards you after you tell him this. If he rejects you for the money then it definitery would never work.
• United States
25 Jul 11
He knows how I feel. I know how he feels. I has told me he loves me and I him. It's not hidden that I have feelings. We each are attracted to the other. We are just in a time of growing. We are doing it together, but pulling our own weight. Its the most beautiful thing I've ever seen now that I really take a look at it. I just have to be patient. Anything worth having is worth working for. He is so worth it. Our time will come when the time is right.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
wow.. that is something, well if you are professional enough you can hold that feeling while at work...and maybe just let it out after work.
• United States
25 Jul 11
I don't know how to hold a feeling, but I think I can keep it under control. I am pretty good at that. It's business before pleasure with us anyway. We won't sacrifice our greater good for a few moments or temporary when we know that if we just work towards something long enough the thing that we desire is now manifest to us. I love it that he and I think alike, lol
@Hatley (164652)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Jul 11
hi writergirl yes stay and work for him and maybe one day he will also more than be close but propose to you then you would have both man of your dreams but keep that great job in which you excel and the boss likes the way you work. make it work as it will be a challenge but can be done. [em]thumbup[/em
• United States
20 Jul 11
writergirl sighs, at the thought of having it all. I have wanted this for so long. Things have a funny way of working themselves out. I think it is good for me to let things naturally be. Since I need that money, I won't have a problem working for him. It's not being attracted to every word that comes out of his mouth and every gesture he makes towards me that I have a problem with. But I know he is focused right now. I could be obsessing over nothing. He values me and I know this. I'm a quality type girl and he likes that. Right now though, it's more about me getting this money and doing what I need to do for my daughter and me right now. I love him, but I love us more.
@swissheart (6472)
• Romania
16 Oct 15
relationships at the office aren't worth it. it might ruin your career.you can find men anywhere
@vivamir (673)
23 Jul 11
writergirl74.. that is a sticky situation..but I think you have to think professional.. if getting together is going to happen- then it will when time allows it..but for now, as you keep saying you need the money.. and thats what his goal is too..so maybe its best for you to control your feelings until you are both less focused on yourselves and ready to share each others time, well on a personal level?. (",)
@bouncybug (615)
• South Africa
23 Jul 11
This is such a difficult situation and I don't know if there really is a right answer! The truth is that its very complicated to work for someone that you have feelings for - it can cause huge strain on both your personal relationship and your professional relationship! But I understand the difficulty you are in - it sounds like a very good job offer, you're familiar with the work and you need the money! I guess the only thing you can do is go for it - just make sure that you are honest with him from the beginning, tell him how you feel and tell him how difficult it is going to be to work for him. You never know, it could work out and you could get the best of both worlds!!
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
21 Jul 11
Wow that is a tough one! It sounds like you will go back if you think it is a good idea or not! Maybe what you need to do is talk to him face to face about you coming back to work with him. Set some guide lines with him so you are more comfortable working with him. It is just a thought!
@Maryr817 (58)
• United States
21 Jul 11
I actually work with a couple that are married and things run smoothly. It has its benefit as wells as its downs. I say if you like the job and u need the money that should be your main focus. At the end of the day when work is done then its time to play and guess what he won't be that far away.lol
@wongchoiyee (7352)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 11
Of course. Is he still single? Won't you try your love this time?
@cher913 (25891)
• Canada
21 Jul 11
office relationships seldom work out because what if you break up? someone is bound to have hurt feelings and it will make it hard to concentrate on work too.
@MandaLee (3726)
• United States
21 Jul 11
Hi, If you want to pursue a relationship with him and see how things progress, I don't think working for him is a wise decision.
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
Is he single? I see no problem if he is a bachelor. However, if he is married, you have to keep your distance so you won't make any false moves. It will not do your career any good if you mix it with illicit romance. Just be careful.
@waflay (2717)
• Nairobi, Kenya
21 Jul 11
This are two contradicting things that always not go well together. Having a 'thing' for the boss is understandable, but this remains in chances of having him in your near future. There is no doubt that he has all the qualities of your dream guy, putting in mind that he is so considerate towards you and wants to be near you professionally and who know- maybe he has that thing too. Its so clear here, the guy wants to spend professional time with you, infact he wants to have this second chance in your life to know more about that hidden talent and help grow the 'thing'. In this case, I think you have to agree to work with him but don't let your feeling leak out. I know its gonna be hard but a loving heart can postpone.. but not let go. If you say you don't work for him, then you will be in trouble in controlling your conscience, feelings that you did wrong and this can go on and on until you will be tempted to call him up and apologize for letting him down- I don't think this is cool. Have professional characters (this will put a barrier between) and the only chances he will have to pursue your love is through professional way and this gonna take time for him to adjust to fit in. ...better love in test than love in haste...