confused. church wedding or civil wedding?

Philippines
August 11, 2011 5:36am CST
I am confuse whether to have a church wedding or a civil wedding. Church wedding of course, requires a lot of money compared to civil wedding. But I'd like to get God's blessings. The problem is that I and my boyfriend don't have much money for the church wedding. It's too costly. And, the processing of all the documents in civil wedding is easier and faster than the church wedding. Do we have to get through all of this? I just want to be married soon. I think I need a little more patience here. Did you have those kind of weddings??
6 people like this
26 responses
@owlwings (38156)
• Cambridge, England
11 Aug 11
Why should God's blessing cost money or only be available through a church? You can ask for God's blessing yourself and be sure of receiving it just as much as paying for a priest to witness it. A civil wedding is, anyway, all you need in this world so that government and state recognise that you are married for tax and any other legal requirements.
1 person likes this
@owlwings (38156)
• Cambridge, England
11 Aug 11
If any church 'authority' claims that you don't have God's blessing simply because you did not have a Church wedding, I would think very carefully about whether they are telling the truth and whether the Church they represent is anything at all to do with the real God.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84148)
• Shingle Springs, California
11 Aug 11
where's the 'like' button?
@Galena (9124)
11 Aug 11
where you see plus, minus and exclamation mark ;p
• Canada
12 Aug 11
My husband and I did both, and spent very little money. Civil ceremony in Arizona, the point was to get married and make it legal. We were both living down there. Religious ceremony didn't happen as planned because of religious differences (not ours, but as dictated by our two churches). We ended up having a "family" ceremony at a favourite venue where we read verses from the Bible, and the Book Of Mormon, and did it our way. Since we were technically already married, we did not need an Officiant. It worked out really well for us, and we were able to do things completely our way. We saved money by having my dress made by a friend. I wore red. My parents were nice enough to pay for the meal, and the venue, and we did not have an overly fancy wedding. It was just perfect.
1 person likes this
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
Hello.. I'm happy for the both of you.. You finally decided to settle down.. Hehehehe.. I am thinking, when will I get married too? Hehehehe.. Well, anyway, I think, a church wedding is way so much better than the civil one. It's more meaningful for the ladies. If you don't have that much money for the church wedding, I think, you could choose to have it cheap. I mean, you have to really allot money for it but not make it so "bongga". Hehehe
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
Who says that God isn't there whenever you have your civil wedding? The witnesses are there and the judge will serve as the binding authority between the both of you. Whenever there is a contract, there will be God as witness that you both will solemnly swear to live your wife as husband and wife and whatever you both agree, God will honor it as long as you are both sincere and honest to what you have agreed. In practicality you don't need a lavish wedding especially if your budget is limited. You can still enjoy that simple wedding because there is love and that is the most important part. Don't be discourage if in time you don't have money. There is nothing wrong if you go first on civil wedding and when you earned some more, you can still do your church wedding.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
If you want a church wedding, you should go get a church wedding. If you're after God's blessing, why should it cost so much? Don't forget, the only reason why church weddings cost so much is because couples usually want everyone to be there. Everyone who's anyone, at least. Friends, friends of friends, the children of friends, cousins, etc,etc. And they want people to know about it and think that it's at par with all the other expensive weddings. That kind of wedding will definitely cost you too much. That kind of weddings are the kind where you have to spend for the church, make sure the reception will be fabulous, the food will be fabulous, The weddings gowns color coordinated, the whole 9 yards. If you're after God's blessings, then you don't have to have a grand wedding. Getting married with a simple ceremony with your family, closest friends perhaps should be enough. You don't have to invite people to your wedding, and you can choose any place for your reception to celebrate the wedding.
@Galena (9124)
11 Aug 11
civil ceremonies have just as many trappings as church ones. bridesmaids, fancy clothes, lots of guests etc. no one HAS to have any of these, civil or church. but why do so many people assume that a civil ceremony has less guests, dress, music etc.
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
I suppose I say that because when I got married through a civil ceremony, we only had the family there, and when we got there the judge kept everyone else out. The only people inside the office at that time were the parents, the witnesses (2) each, and us. Everyone else had to stay out. The reception wasn't that much since it was a civil ceremony, and we are saving up for the church wedding. Of course, it is still the couple's decision how much they are actually willing to spend, church wedding or civil wedding.
@Galena (9124)
12 Aug 11
Why did everyone else have to stay out? I know that obviously venues do have upper number limits, but unless it's a very tiny room or some kind of health and safety risk, why under ten? even in our civil ceremony, which took place in a cave where only a certain number of people are allowed down at a time due to safety issues, there was room for 30. we used the CCTV link so that the guests in the upper cavern could see what was happening. in my experience people have just as many guests at a civil ceremony. after all, non Christians don't necessarily have less friends and family than Christians, why should they only be allowed so few people present? that seems like discrimination.
@ybong007 (6659)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
If you want to get married sooner then you can opt for a civil wedding. A church wedding takes a lot of time and planning, from the dress to the entourage to the wedding reception and every minute detail that the bride has to think of until the wedding day itself. Not to mention the amount of money you have to spend. A civil on the other hand is simpler and with less hassle and less pressure. You can even arrange your civil wedding and be done with it with just a few select people knowing. But if you really want a church wedding with less expense then there are mass weddings where you can take advantage of.
@Galena (9124)
12 Aug 11
neither the dress, the reception or the entourage are just for church weddings. most civil ceremonies have a wedding dress, some bridesmaids and a reception. for SOME people it's just about signing a contract, and purely legal, but most people who have a civil ceremony, it's no different to a church wedding, just without any Christianity in it.
@ybong007 (6659)
• Philippines
13 Aug 11
Well it could be different in your country because here in the Philippines the bride don't wear a wedding gown in a civil wedding, there's no entourage, no bride's maid either but only close family members and relative, and close friends as witnesses.
@minimoyz (277)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
Howdy! You said that you want God's blessings and you don't have enough money for a church wedding. Why not call a priest and perform the ceremony like a civil wedding maybe you can afford this kind of wedding I suggested. It doesn't cost a lot but at least you get God's blessing.
@Galena (9124)
12 Aug 11
can you explain what you mean by a priest "performing the ceremony like a civil wedding" ? as usually the only difference is where it happens.
• Philippines
14 Aug 11
Every girls dream is a church wedding..but for me its not a really big deal..civil or church as long as you will be married to the person you want to be with the rest of your lives,thats it..gudluck to your wedding:)
@minimoyz (277)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
Howdy! You said that you want God's blessings and you don't have enough money for a church wedding. Why not call a priest and perform the ceremony like a civil wedding maybe you can afford this kind of wedding I suggested. It doesn't cost a lot but at least you get God's blessing.
@alottodo (3062)
• Australia
12 Aug 11
I'm sure you will have God's blessings! go ahead and have your wedding! I wish you both the best!
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
I got married in a church, but our wedding is not that expensive, ours was just so simple. If you want to get married the soonest possible time and you don't have the money to spend, then civil wedding will do. You can either choose to get married now in civil then afterwards if you have enough money to spend, you can have your church wedding. Church wedding doesn't necessarily mean that you have to spend that much, I think 50K will do. Important thing is your happy. Congratulations in advance.
@vegegirl (828)
• Australia
12 Aug 11
congratualtions Tess. I have never been married, but most of my siblings have. I didn't think it was the church/ceremony that cost the money but the reception? My sisters all got married in churches. I think my brother got married in a restaurant in China where they had all the ceremony as well. I get a bit confused with Chinese weddings because the groom has to do a little pre-wedding ritual where they go to the bride's house and knock on the door and beg the mother in law to let them in, eventually they get let in and some people sit around snacking etc for a while then everone runs off to the wedding. The bride has to get fed noodles by the mother before the wedding as well. The ceremony in China goes on all day as after the food in the restaurant and speeches etc, people often go back to the new residence and eat. Kids jump on the wedding couples bed as this is good luck for fertility and lots more. It is a very big day! One of my sister's also got married in China and she had to change her outfit about five times and take walks around parks and get photographed. She had many different princess type dresses as well as the wedding dress. We didn't spend very much on bridesmaid's dresses as she had Australians as her bridesmaids and we only arrived in China shortly before the wedding. We hit the shops and found coordinating Chinese tops/dresses in green - this was because one lady in the bridal party was tall and she could only found one traditional top to fit her that was green satin/silk. The other bridesmaid and I then bought green Cheongsans, all slightly different but we thought they coordinated as they were all green chinese outfits. These chinese clothes, bought off the shelf were a lot cheaper that getting bridesmaid dresses made in Australia. My brother had a second ceremony in Australia, so our parent and friends could watch. This was held at a local "palmetum" or park with lots of palms in it. The bridal party dressed up traditionally and the ceremony was in a pergola where a lot of ceremonies are held. We then bought snacks to the park and a small selection of people met up at a lovely restaurant in town later for drinks in an outside courtyard, followed by a meal. A lot of people in Townsville get married in parks - it is very beautiful, and maybe this could be cheaper for you if churches are too expensive! Another sister got married in a little church in the country, where my mum grew up. The church was very beautiful as it had lovely leadlight windows and the sun shined through the leadlights onto the ceremony,making it look very pretty. She wore a bridal gown, but no special bridesmaid outfits were made. Our family travelled down there and stayed up very late the night before decorating the local hall. Everybody went to the hall for the reception after the wedding. I know a lot of people in Australia can spend a lot of money on weedings, to the point of insanity, but we have often held fairly low key, but still lovely, weddings.
• China
12 Aug 11
For sake of your married life,I think civil wedding is the best choice. Because it can save your money,you can have more money to make your house more beautiful and practical. After marriage,you will have many places to use money. So if the wedding can save money,you can choose it.
@nurseclare (2210)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
Hi tess, Best wishes for you wedding .. Both of you will have hard time with church wedding, lots of requirements and too expensive. But the blessing of GOD is the most precious thing.If you guys can't afford so better yet a civil wedding and you'll have saving church wedding will be followed.
@kharlav (1673)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
What fits in your situation is the best choice. If you really want it to be fast and hassle free then choose civil wedding. God is not limited to any type of wedding. God still loves you the same, no matter where you held your wedding. ANd because he loves you, he is happy that you are getting married and he will bless your marriage. God is everywhere, and not only in the church, and because of that His blessings is not confined to the church alone. God bless. Have a civil wedding if you want. Congratulations!
@ryudo05 (34)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
Getting married need not to be that expensive. What really is important is that the two of you are decided to tie the knot. I see some of my friends who went for flamboyant celebrations with expensive wedding services and finding out that there marriage did not work out after a few years of being together. The church (Roman Catholic) does require and insists that two people must get married not only on terms of legality but under the sacrament of Matrinomy but if after sometime you end up separating the sacrament then loses its sacredness and value. I am happy that you are opting for a church wedding despite the financial problem. But I think, it doesn't matter if you go first for a civil wedding as long as you are ready to live as a couple and take responsibility. You may reconsider going for a cheaper church wedding if you really want to or maybe save it for later to prepare for a bigger one.
@Adornado (103)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
First of congratulations if your getting married, for me church wedding is much better than civil wedding itself,because church gives us god's blessing and the true sacrament of marriage and I think you do have to spend that much if you want a simple church wedding, the key limit your guests and increase your principal sponsors and choose a very affordable reception package.
@cutepenguin (6458)
• Canada
11 Aug 11
we had a church wedding, but I don't think you have to have a church wedding to have God's blessing on your marriage. If you can't afford a church wedding, you should have a civil ceremony. Either way, the important thing is that you are vowing to spend the rest of your lives together, not what building you make these vows in.
@dawnald (84148)
• Shingle Springs, California
11 Aug 11
Is it really that expensive? When I got married it was a fee to the minister, and that was it as far as the church was concerned. It was all the flowers and photos and dresses and the reception and so on that were so expensive, but I bet the minister would be willing to do a small wedding without all of that if you asked.
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
11 Aug 11
I am still single and if I get married I will have the traditional wedding style I think. Anyway it is not compulsory for one to have a church wedding. As long as you follow the correct terms and things to do then it is already enough. It is not necessary for one to have their celebration in church or other worshiping place.It just a tradition only. You may have any wedding you like.(^^)