When having a bad day, do you Lash out at others????

@bird123 (10518)
United States
September 3, 2011 10:35pm CST
I've seen it all over. People having a bad day bottle it up so long until they can't stand it any longer. BAM!! They let someone have it! Does passing it on make one feel better?? Is it really the thing to do?? I am friendly and nice regardless of what kind of day I'm having. I can sometimes have a sour look on my face rather than my usual friendly warm smile. I am working on that. How about you??
5 people like this
21 responses
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
6 Sep 11
You are working toward being a Saint...? When I have a bad day, I tried to be alone away from anyone so that I couldn't lash out on others... Still some circumstances couldn't be avoided so I did lash out to them around me...
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
6 Sep 11
It's a good idea to take a timeout or go off alone. After lashing out at others, one never feels good about it. Better go give those poor lashed out souls an extra dose of your love and kindness. You would never want them to think it was their fault or that something is wrong with them. Little ole me, a Saint??? We all choose how we define ourselves. I want to be that loving and kind soul caring for all around me. Like you say. It does take a bit of work sometimes.
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
6 Sep 11
Well, I tried. Sometimes it worked, other ties it did not work. It's just fair and the way things runs in this world. So I did not push myself to always be a good person...
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
7 Sep 11
Baby steps. Move a grain of sand at a time. I don't think you are very far from being a good person all the time. Next time you really get mad and want to lash out, stop and think about it. If you can do that, you already have won.
• China
6 Sep 11
You do know how to exercise self-control and make me feel inferior in this respect.Once I have a bad day or something has gone wrong,I may rant on my child .However,come to think of it afterwards,I always regret doing it.There is no sense in taking that out on my child.
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
7 Sep 11
We must always remember that lashing out is an emotional response. If we lead with thinking and rational thought, we would never lash out. So if one is getting too emotional and fixing to lash out, one should take a time out to think. Getting away alone where it's quiet even for a few moments will help. Give those kids plenty of hugs. We must remember that until they get much more learning they are running mainly on emotions. They get hurt much more when others lash out at them. On the other hand, the lashing out I receive from others washes right off my back. I understand what is really going on. Children don't.
1 person likes this
• China
7 Sep 11
Yes,there is something in what you said.In fact ,behind the lashing out lies weakness and incapability.
@pickwick (858)
• India
5 Sep 11
Hi Bird.I dont have anyone to pass it on.I work in a school and cant pass it on to the students or my colleagues or I would get the double rebound to me!But yes I do that to my mother or my son when I am home and they can also vent out their feelings on me when they have a bad day.
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
5 Sep 11
I think it's always great to talk things out whether a day went good or bad. I do have a question and don't take this the wrong way. Aren't our families deserving as much love and kindness or more than those we meet in the outside world? I have known people who treat others wonderfully only to get home and let their families have it. Do people feel they don't have to treat their families nice because the families won't leave? I guess I think families should come first. On the other hand, one can learn to take a time out and never lash at anyone.
@pickwick (858)
• India
6 Sep 11
You are right Bird.Actually when we have a bad day and we keep feeling bad about it we create many such opportunities for our self in future too.The more we think about it more it gets ingrained in our brain.Its always better to let go.we take our family for granted and behave this way.MAybe i should be more calm and relaxed and practice to let go.Nice discussion.Makes you introspect.Thanks Bird.
• Mexico
6 Sep 11
Hi bird: Oh you are absolutely right with this reflexion. I feel portrayed on this discussion. I feel so bad when this happends but sometimes when I am having a bad day I could be mean with the people around me. it's a terrible habitude and I would love to stop this because it affects me and also my friends and people who really don't deserve to be treated like that. ALVARO
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
6 Sep 11
Remember to snap at others this way is reacting to life. It always brings better results if we think then act. When life gets this way, take those time outs and THINK. It really does help.
@chiyosan (30206)
• Philippines
5 Sep 11
i don't. when i have a bad day, most of the time i would only find myself alone, on mylot sharing it with people who will be able to help me, and give me sound advise... i am not very easy to get angry. honestly that i guess is my best quality and i am able to contain my feelings, even anger... =)
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
5 Sep 11
I have know people who are hard to anger. I have found that when they finally do get angry, better watch out. Of course, if we are truly leading with thinking and reason instead of feelings, we can always choose to smile instead of getting angry.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
5 Sep 11
Hi Bird, I work in the public so I've had lots of practice at putting my personal problems aside and treating people friendly and polite despite anything that may be going on in my personal life. I have to admit that there were times when my kids maybe saw the down-side of a bad day. Is it the thing to do? NO!!! And did it make me feel better? NO!! In fact, it made me feel even worse. They didn't deserve my grumpiness. But I guess that for the most part, I don't lash out at others for my having a bad day.
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
5 Sep 11
Yes, I don't see you as the type to lash out. Of course, this is an area we can all work on for even if we do not lash out, we should not project it onto others in any way. That means a warm friendly smile regardless of how grumpy we might be. OK sid556. I'm going to work on mine.
• United States
5 Sep 11
I dont think people realize or mean to lash out when they do. (with my streak of bad days here lately im speaking from experience) I think what happens is when your having a bad day you just want to be left alone. But that still does not stop people from coming up trying to talk to you. So in response you lash out to push them away.
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
5 Sep 11
Yes, I'm sure few really intend to lash out. One must ask oneself. Is that what we really want to do?? Our next step is to do whatever it takes to prevent it from taking place again. When we lead with thinking instead of feeling, we can choose our actions everytime. It's going to take some work but it can be done.
@ennaira (16)
• Philippines
5 Sep 11
when im mad, i prefer to be alone. i don't like to talk to anybody when i have that mood. for me, it helps that i just quiet. after a couple of hours, the madness that i felt fades away.
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
5 Sep 11
Very good move. Alone and you can't hurt others. Quiet is also good to relieve the stress. You are right. It always fades given enough time.
@Judy890 (1633)
• United States
5 Sep 11
I have never taking my anger out on anyone. If I'm having problems I may show some sadness and people notice that but I will not take it out on anyone
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
5 Sep 11
OK! Good for you! I'm the same way. Now we must not show our sadness. People are empathic. Let's let them feel joy around us. It's not easy but it's a good step we can work on.
@vivamir (673)
5 Sep 11
Hi bird123.. If im having a bad day, I do try not to take it out on others, but then there will be times, when someone will do something and Ill just snap at how 'stupid' they are.. Its not the way to react but I cant help it.. But then it comes to apologizing for my reaction, and to be fair I can be quite stubborn.. and usually they understand from my body language or my persona that I am apologetic.. I always keep in my anger and frustrations and feel there is no need for me to share.. as no one will fully understand anyway.. so I just deal with it.. (",)
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
5 Sep 11
It builds up then snap. It all comes rushing out. People who are at the wrong place at the wrong time can get hurt. Whenever we allow feelings to lead, we can get lost in emotions and somebody gets it. Whenever that happens, a good timeout to think always helps. I haven't met anyone who doesn't have regrets after a blowup. So you are quite stubborn. Believe me, you don't have a monopoly on that either.
• United States
5 Sep 11
When I have a bad day, it's mine. I don't pass it on to others. I may get frustrated at the person that is causing my bad day, though.. but I will tell that person and not bottle it up and pass it to someone else. For instance, one of my bosses seems to change things to his liking, but it is more confusing. For instance, the more confusing he can make things the better he likes it, because that is his personality. If you ask him a simple question he has to tell you a story about it.. in other words, if I ask the time he will tell me how to make a watch. I also get annoyed when a boss doesn't pay me for all my invoices and I have to go back and ask for my money. I have had to go back and forth with one boss, and I am still trying to get my money. Once I prove to her that she hasn't paid me, she has no place to go but to pay me.. but it is getting her pinned down to show her.
@ljames85 (294)
• Canada
5 Sep 11
If it is one of those kind of days, i just go back to bed normally before i blow up, normally it helps, I try my hardest not to take it out on others because I have been on the receiving end of such a thing, and it is no fun. I joke about it at the store when someone freaks out at the cashier because of something they can not control. It has become more humerus to me than anything now.
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
5 Sep 11
You are right. It's no fun being on the receiving end. I like your solution, go back to bed. Maybe a bit more sleep will change the entire picture for everyone.
@kaylachan (4776)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
4 Sep 11
The last thing I want to do is lash out at someone. Furthermore, I wouldn't want them lashing out at me either. I doubt anyone actually wants that. I'm not going to lie, I've been pushed to that point and have. Not often mind you, but I also know it's impossible to avoid doing so. At least sometimes. As far as my personal opinion goes anyway. While most can act happy most of the time, everyone feels emotion and some are better in keeping a "poker" face then others. Instead of lashing out though I'll find some other way to release it. I don't like when I've been driven to lash out. Do I feel better for it? No. Yes, the emotions are released, but I instintaly feel regret and guilt. Why? Because whomever received the brunt of my lashings... did not deserve such a fate. Even if the lashing was meant for that person. So no, I don't feel better for it... I feel worse. I would rather punish my keyboard then anyone else for my emotions.
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
5 Sep 11
Results are seldom good when anyone is driven to lash out. The stress in today's society just adds to the problem. Perhaps we all need to rethink what we value. Are money and possessions really more important than people?? Nobody really thinks that way but it often comes out that way.
@polaris77 (2031)
• Bacau, Romania
4 Sep 11
Even in my worst days I do my best not to get mad at other people,because I don't want to feel sorry and ashamed afterwards because I yelled at people who didn't deserve such an attitude,so I do my best to control myself.I can't hide the fact that I'm not in a good state of mind from others,they can see it on my face or realize that I'm not very communicative in such days,but at least I don't get mad at others,I just look for more time with myself in those moments until I manage to chill out.
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
4 Sep 11
Yes, it's very hard for it to not show on our faces. I am working on that friendly smile no matter what.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
4 Sep 11
When i am having a good day i feel good about everyone and everything around me. when i am having a bad day, i feel discouraged and look for something or someone to place that anger on. it may not start out that way or end that way but lashing out at someone is something that easily happens. When i find myself in that situation, i try not to let it be a lasting one. It will not do anyone any good to keep it.
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
4 Sep 11
Yes, we should not allow our bad day to hurt others. I also take a time out and think. I choose to give everyone the best of me regardless of my problems. Reacting to life will never bring as good results as thinking then acting. We must all learn that is the only way.
@megamatt (14327)
• United States
4 Sep 11
Perhaps a little bit, there is really something that tends to get on my nerves. Only if I cannot get away from everyone to calm down long enough. Of course, there are many times where that is unavoidable and there are times where people tend to choose this particular time to ask questions. And there are times where when you're in a bit of a foul mood, there are a lot of times where every question that is asked is going to be a stupid question. I think a lot of people really do really get the feeling when my mood is rather agitated. There are a lot of people who frustrate me for many reasons but I try not to really let them get to me. Of course, there are times where it just builds up and any time that it just pops for the most idiotic thing. I do my best to keep my mood in check and my temper, but there are a lot times where it just pops. I'm only human after all.
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
4 Sep 11
Stupid questions, huh? How about telling them all that you will answer all questions tommorrow?? Few people really have that bad a day two days in a row. Yes, I understand we are all human and that it can be hard at times. If we lead with our thinking rather than our feeling, we can choose not to snap. It might take a bit of practice and work to break the bad habits but it can be done.
@GemmaR (8526)
4 Sep 11
I am sorry to say that if I am having a bad day, my family are the ones who have to suffer for that. When I am in a bad mood, I just can't seem to keep myself from snapping at people and I am ashamed of that because I always seem to end up snapping at my family. I can't seem to bring myself to apologise to them either because it just draws attention to it when I'm in a better mood and I don't like to do that either. I hope that I will learn to control my moods one day as it would certainly be within my interests to do so.
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
4 Sep 11
Hmmm?? Hurting the family? Maybe when you feel one of these moods coming on, you can take a time out. Go off by yourself and think. Thinking can control such stray feelings. Sometimes it takes a bit of work and practice. I know you do not want to define yourself as an angry snapping person.
• United States
4 Sep 11
I will explode on the person who is giving me the bad day.
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
4 Sep 11
What do you really accomplish by exploding???? What about those innocent bystanders?? Do they get it too?? Does exploding fix your day or just make you feel better for passing it along?
@nezavisima (7417)
• Bulgaria
4 Sep 11
but these days I feel that every one day my bad. I try not to show it to his family but inside it bothers me a lot. I can not give peace, perhaps because I am extremely worried if I get a job. but the bad days for us to do them and bad for others. Have a nice day!
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
4 Sep 11
We all have the power to choose what we deem important. Perhaps you need to let the worry go. Do the best you can and things will work out for the best. Change the way you view things. Share your love and kindness. It will attract others to help you. Whenever I run into someone who says everyday is bad, I tell them no one will have every single day of their life bad. Something good must be coming your way.
• Australia
4 Sep 11
Check my handle: I have a whole cupboard full of whips and canes and crops and implements of torture. BRING IT ON! Nah, I get grumpy and quiet, but I avoid lashing out. All that other stuff is just for fun. Lash
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
4 Sep 11
I can see you Lash everywhere you go. In that case, it must be OK! Maybe on those really bad days it is a good idea to get quiet and go off by ourselves. Of course, sometimes we can't get away from others.