My friend is mad because I won't let her come live with me
By tech2d
@tech2d (338)
United States
September 26, 2011 11:16am CST
I have a friend who at the beginning, we were dating. We broke up and went our separate ways. Not to long ago, she texted me and told me she had made a mistake and wanted to get back together. However, at this time, she had moved back to her home state and was living with her ex boyfriend. She asked if she could come back and live with me. At the time, I lived alone. Now my youngest son is living with me before he goes to college and I explained this to her. She got mad and said that I was misleading her because I had my son living with me and not her. It sounds like she is in economic trouble and wanted me to take care of her as she has no job, etc.
I understand that due to the economy, situations like this are popping up everywhere. I told her I cannot support her and my son and quite frankly, my son comes first. Was I being mean like she said I was?
3 people like this
11 responses
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
26 Sep 11
Absolutely not. She sounds like a "lame deer" - the kind who makes doe eyes at whoever she needs to in order to be looked after. You broke up, she's already broken up with someone else, now she wants a new source of money. Let her go work for herself: you're darned right in putting your son first.
Even if your son wasn't there, you'd still be better off saying no: people who lay a guilt trip on you because they don't get what they want... well, they don't deserve anything in the first place!
@stacysmomstl (397)
• United States
26 Sep 11
I don't think you were being mean. Your budget can only support what it can support. If you can't have another person to take care of you just can't afford it. It's as simple as that. I don't understand why she's having such a hard time understand this fact. I understand times are hard but it is what it is. You should take care of your children first.
I'm wondering how long she wanted to stay with you.
@marguicha (216305)
• Chile
26 Sep 11
Hi friend,
It seems that your ex girlfriend is in economic trouble, as you say, but she is a grown up woman and not only did you part but, when she texted you, she was living with her ex boyfriend. Too many boyfriends for my taste and your son is your own blood. You are not mean at all, forget her.
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
For me yes it's his feeling anyway but time will come you find the one who cares you keep up the good work.
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
17 Oct 11
No i don't think you're being mean. I think she is being mean for not understanding the situation. She knew you have a son, and if it were me i wouldn't push myself to you.
@baanadetto_yuki01 (71)
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
Oh come on you are not mean. First of all she have no right to judge you like that just because you did not let her live with you (whatever purposes she might have). You already broke up and she is presently living with her ex-boyfriend so you have no commitment to her. Besides you have your youngest son with you which is more important than her. Well, don't worry much because you just made the right decision to rank your priorities.
@00fear (3216)
• United States
26 Sep 11
I really don't think so. I'm pretty sure that if she had her son or daughter who went to college and you wanted to move in with her (suppose you were the one without a job), she would've told you the same thing. I can't because I have my kid going to college right now. She'll obviously think about her kids like any of us would.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
26 Sep 11
She is a big girl and should be taking care of herself...not depending on you to arrange her living space and support. You are right...the kids come first as far as I am concerned unless they are older and living on their own and in good financial shape.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
26 Sep 11
Hi there Tech,
You were not being mean at all. You were being truthful. In these economic times I'm sure that many of it find it difficult to even take care of our own families and it would be impossible to support another adult.
Beyond that, it is difficult to live with a friend (even a good one) and especially after being on our own. Many good friendships have ended in these types of situations. Everyone has different ways and habits. Then you throw the lack of money and the fact that she is an ex into the mix and it sounds like a bad idea. I think you were smart to say no.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
26 Sep 11
Your friend should understand that you have other responsibilities. If she can't understand this, you have to make it clear to her that you can't just just let her concerns bother you down because you have other problems to attend to.
@surfer222 (1714)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 11
I don't think you're being mean to her. I think if someone want to live together it have to be agreed by both side, not just one side, and if you're not ready than you shouldn't let her live with you.
