Does feelings of love change after marriage ?!

United States
November 10, 2011 6:11am CST
I think that's not an strange question for you .. but i think that the answer is not easy .. I've met many married mens say that their feeling of love changed after they got married and some said no their feeling is the same in both cases but i have an opinion .. i think that the both answer are correct, i think love is like a toy for a child .. when the child owns it he will play with it until he get bored .. but if he hadn't owned this toy he would has always wanting it so what i mean by this example is that you shouldn't get very close to your love permanently .. you must get close, then return and got closer...etc. So that the beloved will not get bored of you Tell me if you have any opinion
1 person likes this
21 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8711)
• Netherlands
10 Nov 11
Feelings change if the situation is changing. If people think that after being married they have other/certain rights or that kind of life will be complete different. I also met many couples where (mostly the men) is not interested in his wife any more after marriage. Also weird: he meets her and loves her the way she is, the way she dresses, but as soon they are married he is complaining about her way of dressing, behaviour, talking to other men/women, meeting her friends.. and if she changes he is going out with other women because she is not taking care of her anymore. It beats me why. Same with kids: wanting kids, talking woman over to get them, but if the kid is there not longer interested because she is fat, the situation is changed, he doesn't get all attention anymore, she is always tired etc.. Enough examples of that. If you can't be realistic about the fact that if a relationship is changing (no matter if you are married or not) feelings will change too, and you can't cope with that or are willing to accept and work on that you better don't get married or start with getting children.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
11 Nov 11
hi friend, i have also seen such people and even before they start a good life, they end up in divorce. i think these problems raises due to lack of understanding between couples and less comparability of a relationship.
@Jotomy (6147)
• India
10 Nov 11
Hi vito, ofcourse it is not a strange question but it is not that applicable to everyone. Love can't be change after marriage, if it is changed that can't be a love at all. Love never change thinking may be changing. Have a nice day.
• United States
10 Nov 11
mmmmm .. thanks jotomy :)
@tiina05 (2319)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
hello, Honestly, I am not married yet but I understand what you are talking about. Well, you are correct love changed in many ways that is why we shouldn't get very close to each other. I am in a relationship and I am experiencing it. It is like that I dont want him anymore but when I am far from him I feel really missing him. That is why it is better to miss each other to have a thrill in relationship.
• United States
10 Nov 11
mmmm .. yeah you understand me
• India
10 Nov 11
hey, it's not true that every one changes after the marriage. It depends on the other person, how he behaves with you, and the strategy changes after the marriage.
• United States
10 Nov 11
I agree with you to some extent
@bubuth (1816)
• Philippines
9 Mar 12
I agree that there are lot of married people change there feeling to there partner after there marriage because. There are some reason behind it, like they started to get bored to there partner because they always see each other because they are already living in one house there is also possibility that the feeling change because both couple don't have enough time foe each other because they are busy on there work or task. That's why i admire the couples that in there old age they still have time to have out with there partner and they still look like in boyfriend and girlfriend relationship.
• United States
23 Nov 11
Well i guess that people can get bored with the one that they choose to marry but if it is really love then they should not want to not be with the one that they chose to marry. I mean if you truely love the person that you got married to then you should never really get bored with them. It shouldnt just change because you got married or even over time because you married them and that means that you wanted to be with them forever. Although alot of people in the United States and i guess alot of other people in the world dont really hold marriage as high as they should and dont consider it to be a life long deal.
12 Nov 11
I think that the love never changes after marriage it's just that we all have differences and sometimes some are not patient and understanding to handle such problems with their marriage.Sometimes its just all in the mind but if both parties choose to keep the fire burning then I believe that the love in them will be more intense day by day.
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
11 Nov 11
Since human wants can never be satisfied, that huge appetite of man can influence love to a certain degree. Love is illusive, we can't say for sure how long love can sustain in a relationship as the roving eyes of man can trigger the heart to fall in love despite being happily married. When the heart has fallen in love all hell broke loose. The fresh love will be more concentrated than the first love that he is married to. Some say marriage kill love, and I think there is some grains of truth to it.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
11 Nov 11
Hi, I think love definitely grow older as we mature at heart. On the very first day of our meeting, we don't know if it is love or which type of love it is, i.e. is it a romantic feeling, physical attraction or emotional attachment. But once you are committed (after marriage) you do go through all these levels of love. Along with love, respect for the other person also take our forward. I heard this story sometime back. How long can you hold water in your palm? if you tilt your hand, the water will fall, if you close it, water runs thru your fingers... similarly, love is so precious and it depends on ourselves how much time we keep the water intact. If you are trying to over protect, it will just leave and not come back.
• India
11 Nov 11
yeah you are right in case 70 % of people says love feelings change after marriages . But the thing is truly love wont die. it happens when we love our partner only to enjoy with him/ her . Some partner don't know much about each other after marriage they could now what they dont know before . This happens in relationship .
• United States
11 Nov 11
I think marriage can change a person for the better and at some cases for the worse. It all depends on the person, the purpose for getting married. Some people get married because they feel lonely and they desperately take anyone who comes along and some people get married to a person to quick without fully knowing the emotions the person brings them. Marriage changes everyone's view on love, because once you find that one then it's yours and nobody can take that away from you.
@dorannmwin (36695)
• United States
11 Nov 11
For me, the feelings of love that I have for my husband did change after we were married, but they changed in a very positive way. When I make any decision in my life, I think about him and his feelings. I am able to feel his pain a lot more since we've been married as well. Additionally, if it wasn't for the fact that we are married, I don't know that I would have been able to have stood by his side through his illness the way that I have as a married woman.
@sql_cell (1429)
• Indonesia
10 Nov 11
All depends of the person undergoing. If the love she had was true love, love is not going to change.
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
I cannot say anything very informative about this discussion as I'am not yet married myself - but I think, if I will be married I will never lose the feeling my love towards my wife. If that is really genuine love I don't think you two will ever have a dull moment because just by seeing each other everyday would make life already exciting. But if you're married for the sake of money, and any other drives that commands marriage outside of love, then yes, of course.
@rafiholmes (2898)
• Malaysia
10 Nov 11
im not sure..im not married yet..but sometimes the never chnage..its the peoples reactions to each other..
• United States
10 Nov 11
I think that you get to know an individual extraordinarly well after marriage. An individual would be able to hide their messy habits in a dating relationship, but wouldn't have as great of luck doing this when they're married. You find out more of the negative attributes of an individual when you choose to marry them. It's easy to come off as a great person when dating someone. This is why you should date someone for a while before you marry them. I think that when our irks become provoked, we lose those butterfly feelings that we initially had in the relationship. It is easy to become bored in a relationship, so both people in the relationship must work hard to rekindle those sparks so that the relationship will thrive. Don't just sit at home when you're married, go out on dates and enjoy yourselves like you did when you were dating. I think one of the myriad of reasons why marriages end in divorce is because mates don't know each other well enough and they find out in marriage that they weren't compatible enough for each other.
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Hi! vito787. Most people change their priorities in life when they get married. Great responsibilities set in and sometimes love for each other will now be secondary. Their main focus now is on their children and for providing for the needs of their family. That's probably the main reason why couples get bored and find that their married life is already like a routine. There's no more excitement on their relationship. So for married couples who want to stay together and live happily ever after, I suggest that they remain sweet with each other and don't let the responsibilities of marriage ruin their life. Have a great day!!
@bhimbhim (13)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Feelings do change after marriage. I agree. It can be a change for the better or a change for the worst. I noticed couples whose marriages are on the rocks...maybe because of their feelings for each other that floated to separate directions. In my case,my feelings for my husband really changed a lot. My love for him grows and grows each day...and the sense of security and comfort increases especially that he shows his changes too from being a bit immature to someone who becomes responsible and focused to his role of being the head of the family.
@lijoos (346)
• India
10 Nov 11
i dont knwo because i dont married yet. but i am sure the mode of love will change.but its strength remains same. after marriage the love will turn into new face.but it doesnt means the stength is reduced. love is forever till the end.
@ayvanee (149)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
I personally know of couples whose feelings change after some years of marriage. Maybe not getting too close to your partner is not the solution, the solution is simply to love the person wholeheartedly, do something to spice up the relationship, do something fun everyday. In my opinion, when you get bored of your partner, you're not inlove, getting bored was never & never will be in the context of love. When you love or get married, you always find ways for the marriage to work and for the feelings to stay. One should always be in love... EVERYDAY, always with the same person. :)