I fear ageing and You?

India
January 13, 2012 11:20pm CST
I touched 47 years yesterday. With every passing year i fear that i am entering the phase of old age.I am still single which makes it even more painful.I fear that i have already missed out some fantastic moments of life which i may never get again
4 people like this
18 responses
@ABCL2012 (62)
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
I am still in my early thirties and I don't mind aging, in fact I'm excited to reach forty because I want to experience what its like to be of that age based on the saying " life starts/begins at forty." Will it change the kind of life I have right now? lol...
@yanzalong (10174)
• Indonesia
15 Jan 12
Life begins at 40 and starts to decline at 75. For someone who is 50, don't worry, you still have about 20 years to make success. One can reach it if one's healthy and fit. I notice many look very old at the age of 40. I think this is because they don't work out: jogging, walking, swimming, cycling and many more. They don't have to follow all, pick one up such as joggin or simply walking.
• India
17 Jan 12
Its not any exciting to age especially so if you have a lot of things yet to be finished in life.You think 40 is a nice age to experiment because you are only 30+.When you actually reach 40 you will feel why i say this. At that age you will feel if only you were 5 years younger
14 Jan 12
Aww Preet, I really feel for you! You know what though - there is still soooo much you can do! You say you've missed out on some fantastic moments/ What about the moments that were fantastic you haven't missed? I know being single is seen as some kind of failure - but it needn't be like that! Have you ever wanted to sky-dive, fly a plane, visit Victoria Falls, ride a horse, make clay pots or figures, work with wood, or study photography? Maybe not - but hey there are sooo many things out there for a 'singleton' to do. And who knows, maybe there's that special someone out there with a hobby you choose - just hoping that there's someone out there just like you..? I'm 64 (just), and - no I do NOT want to sky-dive - lol, but hery - there are still things I wanna do.... Go get 'em friend! Go get 'em! M.C.
• India
17 Jan 12
Your enthusiasm rubs on me. At 64 you are exhibiting all the confidence and vigor of a 30 year old. Congratulations.Yes there are always opportunities not matter what age.But somethings in life loses its relevance after certain age and time. Marraige is a classic example. People say i am still young enough or not too old to marry still. But is marriage now the same as marrying when i was around 35?
17 Jan 12
Hi preet, You say that some things in life lose their relevance after a certain age and time. Yes that could be true, but at what age and at what time? There are things that matter less as you age - and some things that matter more. For instance thinking of future relationships, I am sure as we age (or ripen - lol), what we want in a partner changes. I'm not talking about libido (necessarily), but characteristics. What we want to do with our lives changes too. What we do with our life changes... There are things I do now (like write), that I didn't do in the same way as a younger me. I used to go into the kitchen at 3pm every afternoon and start preparing the evening meal - from scratch - for the family - now? You gotta be kidding! I now have a dish-washer - didn't years ago. I used to ride a bike everywhere (better than waiting ages for a bus), I passed my driving test at 55 - me cycle anywhere? Ha ha ha - don't make me laugh - As a car-owner I've seen how selfish car-drivers actually are to cyclists! Like me back then, they haven't a clue what the cars behind them are doing or not doing behind them! The mad thing is - I seem to have less time ha ha - maybe I'm slower - more ha ha. You mention that I have the confidence of a 30 year old - hmm - not sure I had much confidence then. Yeah - much more now. So........... Preet, Go for it..... M.C.
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
14 Jan 12
That is a phase you will grow out of as you age. There are a lot of us here who are a lot more older than you and are comfortable being so. With no exceptions, it happens to everyone born and living. We all do miss our "Golden" moments and that is exactly why they are called "memories". Just remember one thing, there will be more of these moments, keep your eyes peeled and grab everyone of them. The experiences will be so vivid that the older memories will fade away and you will have no nostalgia for them. Today and now (eevathu, eege) should be your new mantra.
• India
17 Jan 12
I recon you are from Karnataka India. yes there are always things to expect at all age. New opportunities and challenges do keep coming so long we are alive and kicking. But the one issue which is irretrievable is marriage. It loses it charm if not done at the right age and moment.Dont you think so?
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
17 Jan 12
I am from Andhra Pradesh and we speak Telugu at home. I speak several languages as I work all over India, erecting factories. I agree that every event has to happen in life at the appropriate time, otherwise life loses its charm.
• United States
14 Jan 12
I feel like this as I am getting up there as well. 42 and counting I don't think I am scared of getting old. I am scared of losing my independence..
• India
14 Jan 12
Once we enter the 40's its time for tension. Nobody really is happy growing old.But there is nothing one can do to stop it
• India
14 Jan 12
Why is there a tension? live life like you did the past years of your life. am i missin the point here?
1 person likes this
@youless (93173)
• Guangzhou, China
16 Jan 12
In fact in the past I didn't care about my age so much, since the work and life kept me busy. But lately I suddenly realize that this year I will be 37 years old. And then it seems it will be soon for me to be 40 years old. It sounds to be a very old age. I wonder whether my time went to be in vain as I am not a successful at work yet. Perhaps this is already my life. I love China
• India
17 Jan 12
yes take clue from the experiences of people who are above forty now and get started. Just get your priorities right and speed up. In a blink of your eyes years will pass and you will be someone into his forties.
@sjvg1976 (18411)
• Delhi, India
15 Jan 12
Hello Preet, Ageing is what i also get worried of.Though i am in my thirties but still feel that what will happen when i will be in 50s will my body be that efficient as it is now and will i be able to work much like i am doing now. I am married and have 2 kids. Yes it hurts when we get older and are still single we do feel loneliness at a certain age and feel like we had someone with us with whom we could share our feelings.I have seen many people like this who feel it this way.
• India
17 Jan 12
Yes you seem to sync with my thoughts about ageing. Its painful if most of our ambitions are unfulfilled. If our top priority in life are fulfilled we dont feel the pinch of ageing. Otherwise its brooding about missed chances all life
@momof3kids (1903)
• Singapore
15 Jan 12
Aging and dying are part and parcel of life. NOBODY will and can escape this phase of life. If you meet an arrogant young person, let it slide because he or she will either turn old one day or die young. Accept aging and what comes after it. My believe to turn your life to be beautiful is by volunteering your time. Smile always.
• India
17 Jan 12
Yes indulging in social activities is a wonderful way to ease and pass time in a good manner. I am interested in social work too and i do intend to take it up some time later in life.
@yanzalong (10174)
• Indonesia
15 Jan 12
Everyone will face old age and will go through it. It's unavoidable. However, we can improve our phyisical appearance and health. If we exercise regularly and eat the right food and follow the does an don't. I am sure will still look young although we have reached old age.
• India
17 Jan 12
Yes we surely can improve our physical appearance and health by exercising regularly.But the internal organs will surely show signs of degeneration as we age.
@neelia_lyn (2017)
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
What I fear about ageing is when the body gets easily tired and unhealthy. So now while I am in my early 30's, I would have to have more regular exercises and eat more healthier food in order to stay healthy even when I grow old
• India
17 Jan 12
You are some 15 years younger to me.So dont worry but keep your exercise regimen going.Its not necessary that one has to feel tired and unhealthy as we age. Havent you seen people who are below your age less healthy and active than you?So practically age alone is not the determinant of good health. All young people needn't me healthy and vice versa.Of course age does effect the functioning of our organs gradually. But good and continuous exercise will slow down the degeneration
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
14 Jan 12
I'm ten years older than you and I know what you mean about wondering if you're missing anything. But getting older slows us down, which is not a bad thing. It's a natural process that slows us down so that we become aware of the best things in life. We begin to really notice the sunrise and sunset, the lovely flowers along the roadside and the sound of a child's laughter may bring back great memories of our own children. Our physical lusts are waning, forcing us to deepen our emotional ties to our partners. In this slowing down, we enjoy life and each other even more. Aging is not a bad thing, it's just different. It's natural to be fearful but once you accept that you're coasting toward the next world you can enjoy this phase of life. Relax, no one lives forever and what sane person would want to? Do as much as you can now and vow to die with no regrets about how you treated people.
• India
17 Jan 12
Physically i am still healthy and hale.But mentally the feeling that i have lost some glorious moments in life sends me into disillusion.The most important thing i missed in life is marriage at the right time.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
14 Jan 12
I don't fear aging or getting older since there is no difference from that moment on I left school start working and got kids. Every day seems the same to me. Even I did a lot in the end it's all the same since what you did pass too. I think you are just fooling yourself you missed fantastic moments. Only if you never found the courage to do something spontaneous you later on say you mist something fantastic. In reality these moments, if you ever dared to do so, where not fantastic at all. Instead of still being afraid on your age you better start living, taking risks, find the courage instead of talking about all the fantastic moments you missed.
• India
17 Jan 12
Perhaps the only thing i showed some complacency in my younger days was the issue of marriage. I took it for granted and thought that it will happen automatically without I having to do anything. It was wrong for which i repent today. I should have given my marriage a serious thought at the right time.On all other issues i have approached it with courage and have achieved success to my satsifaction
@derek_a (10902)
14 Jan 12
It seems that we all fear getting older and watching ourselves deteriorate for a time, but I can say that is does pass. It has been a long time since I was 47, but I remember going into a panic. I didn't exactly feel myself physically slowing down or any different at the time, but was aware of something that was changing. The real change came when I was 58 and had a heart attack - it was a genetic problem I had with blood clotting because my Dad had an attack at exactly the same age, with the same blood condition. For a while, I thought about how much longer I was going to live on earth, but that too passed. I do practice meditation and through meditation I feel I can handle the idea of getting older and dying a lot easier. It is not that I want to die, but can accept the inevitability a lot easier. I believe that we are not given anything in this life that we are not capable of dealing with, it is more to do with learning more and more of how strong we really can be. _Derek
• India
17 Jan 12
Recently i read a quote which is very relevant to this topic.'everyone dreams of a long life but no one wants to age'.Yes ageing is painful especially after one crosses 40.Its even more painful if many things which should have been done at a younger days still remains unfulfilled. for instance marriage. Some things in life loses its utility and charm if not done or achieved at the right time. Its all nice to say that there is no age bar to achieving something in life. But still..
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
Me too. I am 23 but I am afraid for my parents who are separated. I am afraid that they would grow up with regrets in their lives. I am just hoping that they are happy specially my mother who is still supporting me because I would be going to a med school this year. I would love to find a job and support her. But with my course it is hard to land a paying job right now to support her.
• India
15 Jan 12
You are only half my age. You still have a lot of time. But dont get complacent.Get your act together and try to achieve things you want to.time flies
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
Sometimes in life I am afraid of getting old. I am afraid that I will be vanish someday in this world. However, as I face it, I become more strong because I am with the people I love. Be thankful and don't start living in fear. You are not left behind. Look around you.
• India
15 Jan 12
More than the thought of vanishing from the planet its the pain of not having succeeded in many things that hurts as we age. In my case, the thought of being single still is hurting because i feel my most romantic period is gone never to return
@yahnee (1250)
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
As we grow older, we fear our birthdays because it is another year added to the age. However, age is only a number. It is what you feel that makes you fear getting old. In this generation 50 is the new 40. Look around you at people of all ages. Can you still recognize who is 30 or 40 or 50 especially if you happen to live in the city? Don't despair, you still have a lot going for you.
• India
15 Jan 12
With every passing year we feel a bit down. Who would love to age? Frankly nobody.Yet its an inevitable part of life. Its less painful to age when we have accomplished most od our desires in our younger days.Otherwise its a reason to brood all our lives
@beamer88 (4268)
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
I don't think I'm scared of aging. I guess I've accepted the fact a long time ago that I'll definitely age no matter what. I know I've had a lot of missed opportunities which I can't do anymore now considering my age, but I blame myself for those, not my age. But I do feel bad about those I missed out on. That's why now I try to make the most of everything each day.
• India
15 Jan 12
we all have our share of missed chances. There is still time to realize most of our goals except one-marriage.Even if i did get married now there is not the same charm as it would have if i had married 10-15 years earlier
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
14 Jan 12
I am single and 49. That does not bother me. I never have been married and never wanted to. I don't even want a man in my life! Long story why! I am not lonely but I do fear aging! I hate it! On top of getting older I am over weight and that makes it worse! I hate going up and down stairs. I need to learn to make life style chances,especially with food! I can't eat like I used to! I don't do somethings I used to. I worry about retirement! I am not finacially secure! Those are the things I really worry about with getting older!
• India
14 Jan 12
It seems we both have many things in common.I know how it feels to be alone,although you say that your are fine with it. I wanted to marry and friends and relatives have been prompting me. But i always wanted to marry someone who i liked before tying the knot. Its not in my nature to marry Just anyone for the sake of marrying.
• United States
17 Jan 12
I understand what you are feeling. This is an irrational fear though, because I know people over 70 who don't look or act it. Not all of us are going to have all we had once dreamed of. We live our reality day by day. I get anxious about aging but there is really no point to it.