are you always ready to "forgive" and "forget" ??

Well, it seems to me that those are really words which are easy to say but hard to do. :( I often say I have forgiven someone, but then I feel the pain everytime I see this person. I often say I have forgotten something that hurt me, but then again the memory shows up when I see someone who has the same situation. And last year, when this thing happened to me, I can't even forgive this person. I told him that I won't forgive him and I will never forget what he's done to me. He told me that he has gotten the punishment just like what I wished and he asked for forgiveness from me. But I still can't. I'm no longer angry with him, but I just can't forget what happened. :(

its hard to forgive especially when that person hurt you so much it is really hard for me to forgive it takes a day to forgive that person. i forgive her/him but i will not forget what she/he have done. we are just human no one is perfect we will forgive.there would be a distance between me and his/her to avoid a complication.

for me, forgiveness is given to those who ask for it sincerely. some people can say 'sorry' so easily that they do the same mistake again and again. it is kind of hard for me to forgive those kind of people. more so those who intentionally hurt me then ask for forgiveness after. i'd rather pray that God forgive me for not forgiving these kind of people. i may forgive but i can never forget unless i get an amnesia. it takes a long time for me to re-establish trust to those who betray me. once hurt, i tend to be more cautious in dealing with the people who hurt me. i'll be on guard at all times because at the back of mind, this person can hurt me, can do this or that.

Even do it's hard to forgive the person doing wrong. We need to forgive them and forget everything they does unto us. Because forgiving them and forget will make us free from burden... There might be some point that is hard forgive someone who really always bother us. Even do we are set them free and away from them to alleviate our grudge, distress and frustration. They always make ways for us to hate them...this is what happen to me now. But I am always trying to kept my angry with that woman to make my life easier

This question seems easy to ask, but reality depends on each person. You are trying to get into people's minds, possibly into very personal matters. It depends on each individual. Bear in mind that not everyone is comfortable sharing something like this in a forum. Mylot is a social forum. Personally, I would not or could not give you better ideas. If it is something personal, I would not be sharing that here. I would talk it with some friends, family or some people I'm comfortable with.

Forgiveness does not change and does not erase the facts, I think people are confusing: take acceptance as forgiveness. Do not know why we do not believe in love without betrayal?! ... Does this century the Internet, the desire to assert at all costs, the money power of the feelings, lest some of us did not have patience with our partners us actually want everything fast, without understanding that "two" does not mean to look at each in one direction, but both in the same direction .. I know I can not forgive infidelity, violence, domination .... and I think my last love, because I betrayed! And I bought it in us .. When you try to keep alive, even if you know you're betrayed, you'll never be a happy man, always suspicious, always irritable, always, always ... you have to have naked soul! .... How did you head to your more settled near the man who betrayed you? how you may feel a woman in his arms, when the same arms were tight else?! OH! !! would be too much for me to forgive! Ladies, my friends ... please believe in love without betrayal ... just stop a moment ... when you meet, to touch ... and no longer let go!!

I would say that for my own peace of mind, I am always willing to forgive. Or I should say that I am willing for forgiveness to happen in my life. I say that because I don't know HOW to forgive as it is not something that is done, but is more like something that you experience but first you have to be willing. When you blame or hate others, it is in your own mind that this happens, so it stands to reason, that it is in your own mind, that hatred is directed - nowhere else. _Derek

Well our God is a forgiving God and if only for that reason I have no reasons to be not forgiving. I have learned to to be forgiving because God wants me to be. If He was able to forgive me then I should also forgive those who did wrong against me. Yes it is just so hard to do that. Indeed forgiving could be granted but forgetting might take some time but by the grace of God we can always forgive and forget so that the sin committed against us will no longer bother us at all. Maybe it is practical to just forgive those who are asking forgiveness but if we are to follow a Christlike attitude we should always forgive even if the person asks forgiveness or not.

To forgive is to be humble and to accept the apology given to us...saying this I can forgive but forget? no.

it so easy to say to forgive but forgetting is hard. i could say everyone should move on and let the past stay that way. but the truth we never we encounter again the same person who give us heartaches and lot of troubles the past is revive. so i could say that to forgive may be easy for other and they could forget at the same time. but n my experience i could forgive but could not forget.

When people feel guilty for their mistakes and apologize, I generally forgive them, but it isn't easy to forget about the situation altogether. In fact when people repeat their mistakes (intentionally) even after apologizing it is harder for me to forgive them. I believe that forgiveness can be given only for mistakes, and mistakes are something done unintentionally. When a person asks for forgiveness on some mistake and then repeat it and again asks for forgiveness, I think they do it only to hurt us more.

Personally, I can easily forgive but I can't say that I can easily forget. I can forgive a person and as long as what he/she did to me doesn't involve my family. Actually, it would depend on the weight of the mistake. Personally, I really can't hold grudges for a really long time since I despise disliking/hating people but it doesn't mean I can easily forget. I think the first step in moving on (and I'm not only referring to wrecked relationships) is forgiving. Forgetting is another matter. I don't know if other myLotters would agree on this but "forgetting" means erasing that person's fault completely from your mind, right? That's why I don't think "forgetting" is something that's applicable in this kind of scenario since people cannot completely forget something.

being betrayed more than a few times by more than a few people you you really considered as special ones, it's really hard to forgive but as time passes by and by God's grace I learned to forgive some of them. but forgetting is hard...I don't want to forget those things though, they're precious lessons to me.

how i wish our hearts are ready to forgive and our mind are ready to forget.this is not easy but try to practice things in life and im sure we will do.

I prefer to forgive people above holding a grudge but, sometimes forgiveness is easier said than done. When I can forgive people, I believe it makes me a better person. The burden of holding a grudge can make people bitter. So, I seek to forgive, whenever possible. What I can't readily forgive, I keep working towards it.

I have trouble forgiving and forgetting. Even when everything has been talked out, and there's already closure and everything, deep inside I would still be holding a grudge. I wish I could just let it go, but I think this is just the way I'm wired. It can be stressful.

Absolutely true! Sometimes, being hurt by the most trusted persons you have sinks real deep but when they show how much they are sorry for hurting you, you forgive them. But sometimes, even if you are mo longer that trusting to a person, just telling him/her that it was okay, still the pain remains.

Even though forget and forgive comes hand in hand but I am not able to forget easily , just like you . I forgive very easily. It is a difficult task to forget an insult or cheating and such . Although I am giving my best try to forget the past and move on with the future but it is still not in my control . If I and others are able to practice both I think there will be a drastic change in one's life and living . Good topic ! Have a nice day

Hi Sayo, Yes ur correct its very hard to forgive someone who was so close with us and forget their insult, but as time goes on we never bother about those persons and move on in our life. Its about exprience, that too in this modern world we can expect lots and lots of break ups happen due to money. For money, many of our so called friends itself went it some extreme to cheat us. Its better not to forget those cheating and never to forgive those too because if he/she cheat us again its hard to recover from that. Better to stay away from that person to avoid more confuse in our life.

I m short tempered, but when he/she ask for forgiveness I can't refuse. Because I feel that if may be some where some how, I also hurt some one.. So if i can't forgive any one than how can i accept the same from the others. Humans make mistakes. Its natural.