Rude
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85135)
Shingle Springs, California
February 22, 2012 10:25pm CST
There's this advice column in the newspaper, "Teen Talk". The columnist had gotten a letter from a teenager who was mourning the loss of the family dog. They had had him since she was very small, so he was pretty much there as long as she remembered.
I don't remember reading the original article, but sometime later she published some reader responses to the original. I really couldn't believe how many people wrote in with some variation of "she should get over it - it was just a dog".
Mind you, just from working with a rescue group, it's pretty clear that a lot of people feel that way about animals. And fine, if you feel that way, don't have pets. But it really floored me how many of those people went out of their way to write in and say that. Really, why would they do that in response to somebody who is mourning.
Rude and hurtful, people going out of their way to be rude and hurtful. What a world we live in...
8 people like this
24 responses
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
23 Feb 12
Hi dawn,
pets to me are my children and for the teen, she must have felt she lost someone very close and its right that should grief for her dog, I don't understand when people say its only a dog, they don't have any feelings at all, would they say the same thing to someone who lost a child? no, I don't think so but I lost my beloved Thomas my cat in December and I am still griving for him because he was my baby son, I just cannot stand people saying its just a dog or a cat.
Tamara
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Feb 12
Not fun, but I'm glad you're getting better. I am fine, house on the market, things are moving slowly here...
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
23 Feb 12
There is never any need for rudeness. I am allergic to cats and fail to see anything appealing about them. But that doesn't mean that I can't empathise with those that feel differently. I often used to cuddle my pet tarantula at night. She'd pop into my ears to keep warm. Such larks!
2 people like this
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
5 Mar 12
yup.i remember a "sister" at my mom's church telling me i shouldn't mourn for a recently deceased cat because "they have no souls"..i told her appearently,neither do you.
i wanted to punch her in the head.
i wanted to punch her in the head.2 people like this
@vandana7 (98861)
• India
23 Feb 12
Dawny ..I am guilty of being rude at times 
, but not in such situations. I am nasty when somebody is beetchy with me acting innocent kind..Even that kind of rudeness on my part seems so unbecoming of me. My latest way of treating this situation..becoming icy cold and aloof..treat the person as if the person doesn't exist. Trust me, that doesn't go down well either.
, but not in such situations. I am nasty when somebody is beetchy with me acting innocent kind..Even that kind of rudeness on my part seems so unbecoming of me. My latest way of treating this situation..becoming icy cold and aloof..treat the person as if the person doesn't exist. Trust me, that doesn't go down well either. 1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Feb 12
OH, female student, male? coming back? or not?
@vandana7 (98861)
• India
26 Feb 12
Female..just 16..but starting with additions, multiplications, divisions, and fractions..and a little bit of English (as if I know some..lol). She learnt typing though..I gave her an hour each day on the system, typing stories from movies. She is now able to read though not as fluently..and understand about 10 to 20 percent of what we talk in English. She tries to talk in English..anyway she is getting married and Vandy is upset..she will get pregnant in an year or two, and have a baby. Her income might not be enough to sustain their family at that point of time, so there will be marital discord leading to additional dowry demands and what nots. Same script so many times. Why dont people get it.. I kinda like her Dawny..and would hate to see her in that kind of mess.
I kinda like her Dawny..and would hate to see her in that kind of mess.1 person likes this
@mariab2000 (740)
• Canada
23 Feb 12
That is definitely very rude and hurtful towards the person who is mourning the loss of her dog. How can people be so insensitive towards animals and even people like that. I can understand that they don't like dogs or other animals but they can atleast empathize with the person for whom that dog was very special and meant a lot to them. They are hurting that person's feelings and causing more hurt and anguish to them and not being very helpful to get them over the loss of their dog...
2 people like this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Feb 12
Not at all helpful. I don't get the point at all.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Feb 12
yeah, and if you don't care for animals, fine, but why say that to a child who is mourning a pet?
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
23 Feb 12
Hi Dawn,
I remember to this day the pain I felt when my first dog was hit by a hit and run driver. I was 11 and the dog had been in my life since I was born. It was devastating. I got another dog eventually through the 4-h that I was a member of. He was a black lab. I Loved that dog. He was mine but he really was the family dog. Again his passing, even though of natural causes, was still devastating. They are a part of the family. It's never "just a dog" or "just a cat" to the family of these pets. The ones that responded so coldly must not have pets or let's hope that they don't. They clearly have no clue as to what it is like to suffer such a loss.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Feb 12
yes, let's hope they don't have pets. Probably they shouldn't have children either!
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
23 Feb 12
I really shouldn't be replying, I am in a bad mood right now, but if I saw someone had replied about it, "being just a dog" then fine, when you have a brother or sister die, I can just say, "he/she was just another person, there are many people in this world" Before anyone gets on me for making that comment, I have lost a sister, and though it isn't the same as when I have lost dogs, both have left an empty spot in my life..
Before anyone gets on me for making that comment, I have lost a sister, and though it isn't the same as when I have lost dogs, both have left an empty spot in my life..1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
26 Feb 12
That's true, some people don't care enough, so why even bother to make a comment when the person was upset? Unless they can empathize with her, they should keep their mouth shut..(or in this case, their fingertips off the keyboard)
@celticeagle (159222)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Feb 12
Because they don't care. People today really don't seem to have any tact, respect or manners. I have seen some instances where young people will say hurtful things to just get a rise out of the other person. Yes, what a world we live in.
@celticeagle (159222)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 12
I don't think they cared that much. Self serving people don't do nice things unless it serves them in some way to do it.
@much2say (53954)
• Los Angeles, California
23 Feb 12
I wonder why these responses were published (I mean, I'm all for free speech and getting different sides of the matter . . . but this is a teen advice column . . . just how would that mourning teenager feel reading those kinds of responses??!!). And did the columnist make any comments about those rude comments? I think some people aren't aware that the things they say are hurtful or insensitive . . . they say things like it's supposed to be a common sense type thing. "Just a dog" is such a heartless thing to say . . . like saying "just a daughter" or "just a son" . . . pets are part of the family but some people don't and never will understand that.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Feb 12
The columnist just published them without comment other than "some of our readers commented". I wonder what was the purpose of publishing those ones. I don't see how that was helpful to the teenager reaching out for help.
@bluemoonpavilion (4658)
• Singapore
23 Feb 12
Hi dawn,
Poor little girl, facing a double hurt. The newspaper should have some discretion as to what to publish as well. It is awful to have something like that thrown in her face when she's really needing consolation.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Feb 12
I hadn't thought of that, but yeah, how is that helpful for them to even publish that?
@bluemoonpavilion (4658)
• Singapore
27 Feb 12
To increase readership surely. I wonder about the ethics issue.
@changjiangzhibin89 (16539)
• China
25 Feb 12
I guess those who said so in their letters haven't kept a dog and others,they couldn't understand how the teenager whose dog was missing felt.The teenager didn't want to get letters of consolation but hoped that somebody found the dog for her or him.My dog was once lost.My wife was so mournful that she cried at the mention of the missing dog.What amazed us was that the missing dog came back by itself ,after half a month.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Feb 12
Somebody must have been keeping that dog inside or something, but I'm glad it came back.
@changjiangzhibin89 (16539)
• China
26 Feb 12
It seemed as if she wandered about the streets and fell ill soon after coming home.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
23 Feb 12
Many oeople don't see animals as members of the family. I do understand. Even though I could Never be near a dog , I Do understand they are a member of the family. I think it is so sad that people would say " get over it" when you lose a pet. It is so harsh. thankfully it was strangers . I hope the people close to this teen Have hearts!
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
23 Feb 12
This is exactly why so many teens don't reach out for help, because they're ridiculed if they do or their feelings are diminished. Though something may not seem like a big deal to an adult.. whatever it is it's certainly a big deal to the teen.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Feb 12
Yeah, you get beaten down enough times, you stop trying...
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Feb 12
Yeah even if they didn't understand, they could have been more sensitive.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
23 Feb 12
People can be so rude! Many woud not be complaining about this girl and her lose if they were in her shoes! Dogs and cats are family memebers! I hate people like this! I also hate people who bragged about poisoning a stray cat that kept sneaking in the persons house and the memeber started a discussion about here! Thank Goodness it was deleted not long after it was posted! People can be idiots besides rude!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Feb 12
I saw that one, didn't get a chance to respond...
@rameshchow (4426)
• India
24 Feb 12
some time it works, those who are rude and cruel the society is having fear at them...
nobody is trying to touch them...
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Feb 12
Don't know what society can really do about this one. Teach better manners in school?
@wangxiaomeng521 (14)
• China
23 Feb 12
"what's your favourite food?” The answer of this question can be different for different people.Such as some people treat the family as the most important thing in their life,while some others are not.People can be treated different in different occasion, the dog also might be ignored in their family.The phenomenon you have seen dosen't mean anything.Whatever,everyone should realized that people and pets are equal....
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Feb 12
If people don't think animals are important, that's their business, I guess, but to shove that in the face of a person who is mourning a beloved pet is just disrespectful.
