Do you tell your friends that their requests for favors sometimes can't be done?
By 2004cqui
@2004cqui (2812)
United States
March 26, 2012 11:13am CST
Now that my time will be taken up with the "hands on" stuff I do from now till it hits freezing temperatures again, my friends are putting in requests for ME to print something I've done or do research on something for them and mail it to them. Even my sister has done this!
I know these people, although near my age don't like doing anything with a computer, siting a lack of understanding about the household computer, no time, not as good at it as I, etc. They will say they're too tired or have no time. These are the same people who announced to everyone they know they have email or a face book acct. I've told them I'd just shoot them an email with it attached and you'd think I'd just sentenced them to a year in jail! They never use face book. So therefore they have no electronic communication! They'll say "yes I do, face book and email"! I have to tell them, not if you don't use it. They can't figure out why I can't just print it off and "mail" it. I want to tell them a ream of paper is $3, ink is about $15 a cartridge, then there's the envelope and postage. I do tell them the lack of all this stuff put into a communication is what email and face book is about!
Do you think I'm being unfair to my friends or am I being selfish?
8 responses
@sandaikite256 (92)
• Sweden
26 Mar 12
I think that you are not selfish because why can't they do their own business?
But it's ok to do that once or twice but if they request you like many times you say no.You can't do others work for too long or too much.You can help them if you want to but I would help them but not all the time(i mean that i can't do the others work all the time cuz i have to do my own work right?).
Don't let your friends to get addicted that YOU will finish their work all the time and that will be trouble to you for having no time to do your own work.
It's your decision if you want to help them or not.And think about it what will happen if you don't help them or if you'll help them.
1 person likes this
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
26 Mar 12
You've taken a lot off my shoulders! Even if they paid the $30 for paper and ink, I'd ask them if they have the time to take me to the store and then come back here for them to do the printing. I don't think it would happen. They would realize the time investment.
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
26 Mar 12
Let me be emphatic with this response NO YOU ARE NOT BEING SELFISH.These people are trying to take advantage of you and that isn't right. Whether you have time on your hands or not, that's none of their business and that's not for them to monitor.
If they persist, let them know the cost of the paper and the ink and let them pay you for your time. It's takes time to do research, time that you could've otherwise been using for your purpose, it takes time to do all the number of things they're asking you to do, let them pay, and by them I mean your sister too.
I'm sorry but from where I'm sitting that's utter nonsense and total advantage.
Don't let people take advantage of you, continue to stand up for yourself, because you're NOT in the wrong here.
1 person likes this
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
26 Mar 12
And with all this support I am more confident to say no! I told one friend about a web site I built about specialized cooking for diabetics without impacting the others who eat whatever they want. I asked for her ideas because she's a good cook. The conversation ended with only one outcome, printing out copies of what I had and send it to her through snail mail! I was very disappointed. If someone does favors for me I'd be more likely to return the favor. Thanks for taking the time to help give me a "backbone".
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
27 Mar 12
I think you are being fair to yourself...I have had people ask things like that too..I had a friend that wanted me to do her son's invites to their wedding but they didn't want to pay much for it....I reminded her that filling the ink in my printer cost a ton and no matter what they paid me it wouldn't be enough....they seriously need to learn a few things for themselves!
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
27 Mar 12
I just can't believe people would be so selfish! Why would a person want to be friends with these people? Sometimes when I hear people say they are going out for their monthly "girls night out" I feel like I'm missing something. But when I think it over I realize I just don't have the patience for it!
@offkey (313)
• United States
27 Mar 12
I would tell them, sure I'll do it, if you pay me, let's say .10¢ a printed 12 pnt font page plus $3.50 an hour, and the cost of postage. You're not selfish they are for asking you to do this for them, especially when they say you can send it through email or facebook but refuse to go through with it.
@Cherish14 (2693)
• Philippines
27 Mar 12
i don't think you are selfish because if you are, you wouldn't be doing any favor for them. some friends that we have would really tend to abuse us because they know we are nice and would do things for them. i hate it when they do that, so what i do is tell them how i really feel and if i can't do them a favor, i tell them honestly.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
27 Mar 12
Thank you! You hit the "nail on the head"! All of my friends know they can turn to me in time of need. They can easily trust me. So on and so on. So when any of them ask me for something that is difficult for me to fulfill I would have far more respect for them if they would just stop doing this! One person even got angry with me because "It's not that much paper and ink". I tried telling her that she isn't the only one. She didn't like that answer either! "But we are really good friends". Yes, that is actually what she really said!
@dazzledlady (1618)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
I think it is alright to refuse once in a while, after all you have a life to run too. And I also believe you are not selfish but if they are always doing that to you then they were the ones who are selfish. For me, it is never too late to learn and adapt to the changes in this world if you are willing to. It is just a matter or motivation and patience. If you are letting them do that to you, they will never have the reason to learn for themselves. So I say, dont push yourself too hard. If you cant do it, tell them and let them understand. If you have means to teach them that would be better. Self reliance is way better than depending on others to do it for you.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
26 Mar 12
I even taught a few 90 year old people how to manage their computer, banking software and credit card information on line! I've got all the patience in the world. I just don't have the time or money to fill their requests. We have a library to do that.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
26 Mar 12
Your "friends" are selfish. Let them do their own emails/internet work. They are just using you. If you want email/facebook you have to take care of it yourself.
Tell them to do so or to quit with it. Your time is precious too.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
26 Mar 12
And these guys don't know anything about it. They don't bother to want to learn about their own computer. "I'm too tired, too busy..............
Well what am I? The one who I asked for help from actually turned the conversation around so I would do a favor for her?! Not going to happen.
@honest_efforts100 (1607)
• India
6 Jul 12
I always tell my friends what I am feeling. I know it’s hard saying no to friends but sometimes there is no other way. If your friend is truly your friend then he or she will understand your no.
