Friends of Children and Pets

Thanks for the discussion. As regards the question about my children's friends, normally I did unless the child's behavior, my child or the friend, became a problem when they were together. Now, that my children are grown, they have had a few adult friends I didn't like and fortunately, they always end up not being friends without my interference. As adult children, my children learned for themselves that some of the people they chose as friends were NOT friends at all just users. My dogs are pretty much at home dogs and don't wander. In our city it is against the law for a dog to wander the streets especially with an owner who just turns them loose. I do not take them to a dog park, because around here too many dogs have been getting sick from the dog parks. Some of the dog parks have had problems with ticks and Lyme disease, and other dogs being brought to the parks while the dog is sick therefore giving the sickness to other people's pets. Diseases like Parvo stay in the ground for years and if your dog is young and not treated for Parvo, the chance of getting it is very high. My two dogs are very different, two different ages, but they play well together. Only on occasion is there a problem between them and usually that is an accident and one hurts the other and they yelp. One of mine is female and other a male and both have been either spade or neutered. I've never met a dog I didn't like but I have met dog owners who I didn't like at all and who have turned their dogs vicious. In part of our metroplex area, pit bulls are banned because of what I believe to be bad owners, not the breed. I have a problem with neglectful owners who just put a dog on a chain in a yard and never do anything with the dog. It is like the dog was a cute, cuddly puppy they spent time with but when they grow up, the owner doesn't like them anymore and abuses the dog. If you aren't going to make a commitment to take time with the dog or any animal for the life of the animal or take care of them, then don't take on the responsibility of ownership. I'm really tired of hearing people say how stupid animals are, especially dogs, when dogs are known to have the intelligence of a seven year old child. Dogs love unconditionally and give you far more in many ways than most of us give them. At one time in the past, I owned acreage and had a mix of dogs and cats. I believe I had as many as 5 dogs and 5 cats at one time. It was a rural setting and the cats roamed and hunted all kinds of small wildlife. My dogs have never been allowed to roam, because there are just too many people out in the world who due to their own fear of animals will hurt a roaming dog. It is expensive to take care of that many animals at one time, but I did it and they all, dogs and cats, got along well together. However, let a strange dog or cat come around, it was a different story. My animals were very protective of each other and would not permit an invasion of other people's pets. They didn't attack other animals, but they did let the animal know they were not welcome. It is terrible when an adult is jealous of a child in any manner. Our children always have competition in life and must learn to deal with it. But you would think when an adult is jealous of a child they would quit it and realize how childish they were. But many parents are just into controlling their children's lives down to the smallest things and it is just sad to see the results. I cannot tell you how many children I've seen over the years have their feelings hurt and friendships ended, not because of the other child, but because of some prejudice of the parent. Sometimes I think the child is more grown up than the parent.

We have had issues with a parent at dance class. He is very jelous that my girls dance better then his. The thing is his daughter has been in this style (irsh step) for only two years. Mine have been in it for 7 and 5. They just have had more practice. This father though has caused my girls a lot of trouble. accusing them of bullying, of being insubordant, and even threating to hit them if they touch his daughter, (as my 11 year old had to hold her hand in the one dance this blew into a big thing). I had to call the cops and get a restraining order on him fro threating my girls (we had witnesses). The owner will not kick these parents out (the cops where also called by another parent becasue the girl is a bully and was leaving sizable bruises on her daughter) We are leaving the school after this recital and moving over to a new one becasue of it. They can keep their idiont family, while the rest of the class leaves. There are 5 other families leaving with us a total of 11 kids. On the other hand my kids have friends they have been close to for over 8 years. We have play dates that include not oly the kids but us parents and our doggies.

I did like my childrens friends...and all these years later they all still call me mom! Yup....surprising! And they still feel free to visit....Reggie didn't really have any friends....he kinda like to steal the show so others backed down for him.

Hmmm, Penny and Ciara's friends? Well, I like them all, but Penny only gets along with those who are alpha and will pin her down, if a dog doesn't she will bite them, so she isn't sociable enough to have good friends. Ciara on the other hand, is a snob and I wonder if this is because she lives and plays with another dog 24/7, because I take her to my neighbor's and my neighbor's dog, who is old and rarely shows bounciness, jumps up like a puppy when Ciara is around, yet Ciara ignores her.. So I got a snob and a bully as dogs, what kind of friends do you suppose they can make?? lol As for my son's friends, I like them all, but there is one I wouldn't want to have over for an over night. This is because we do live on the lake and at my son's party, it was this boy who I told at least 3 times, that he can't go in the lake since we didn't ask his mom and he ended up going in anyway. I can't be responsible for a child who won't obey the rules, not when something can happen to him because he decides to go swimming and he has an accident. So as long as the child is respectful and follows our rules, I don't mind and I really like the brothers who live up the street, even though the older one tries to con me into letting him do something, he knows I will call his parents if he does something wrong.. Now my daughter, her best friend she made in high school, at first I didn't like her because her and her mother let my daughter go to their home when she got angry with us. In other words, my daughter ran away at 15 and I didn't know where she was and the mother didn't call, so I didn't want my daughter near this girl. Today, I think the girl knew it was wrong, and she and I talk a lot now, which is good since she is the Maid of Honor for my daughter's wedding..:)

My kids have relatively good taste in friends. If I find I don't like one of their friends, it doesn't take long for my child to see the bad in them also and hang out with them less and less. Thus far I've liked everyone my oldest has chosen to hang out with.. but I haven't met too many of my younger kid's friends yet.

Now throughout the years I have came across some of my children's friends that I didn't care for very much. There was usually good reason for it though. I am not one to be judgmental or think that everyone has to fit a criteria. I think my son's friends were the ones that I worried with the most..lol. We have some chihuahuas that live next door who come to visit my chihuahuas sometimes when they go outside. It is a fiasco. They bark and carry on like they will eat each other up and then they settle in for some sniffing and playing.

I think I liked most of my kid's friends. There were a few I was afraid would be a bad influence, but my kids dealt with that all okay too. I never was jealous as my kids made pretty good choices for friends anyway - obviously the mother who was jealous over looked the fact that her daughter could choose good friends such as you! Parents can be crazy sometimes!