Relationship Comments

'I know how you feel!!' LOL But seriously I do. I've learned over time that not just because someone comes crying about a relationship gone bad, or someone laments the life their in that they actually need advise. More often than not, if you try to give advice to these people, pardon the expression, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. And why. They're too caught up in how they feel, and just the mere fact that they are able to rant about something is help in itself. They will be feeling the tremendous relief to remember much of any advice that they hear. This of course is not a bad thing. Just the last week, my husband and I were having a tiff about his immaturity. It had been going on for a few days now, although I really didn't want to talk about it to anyone. I was with my officemate while I was arguing with the hubby through text. She could see that I was clearly irritated about something and coaxed me to tell her the story. I gave in because such a clear expression of irritation could not be one to be passed up. I told her the story. Although I appreciated getting some burden off my chest, I pretty much know how to handle the situation. I wasn't really ready to worry about how to handle the situation: in fact I wanted to ignore it for the time being because it was eating up a lot of my energy. I do understand that my officemate wanted to be helpful and did not like seeing me so irritated over anything and started giving all sorts of advice. I really didn't listen much to any of it, and I would just debate with her on some points. I also do not appreciate if people would talk about their certain dislike to my situation or talk to me about it negatively. I may rant about certain things but like you said, it's just a way of letting off steam.

Hehe, I guess I sort of agree. But then again, if you are starting a discussion, you are starting a discussion - just like the name implies. People are going to put their two cents in, that's just how it is. Especially on here. I guess the best advice is if you DON'T want advice, and just want pity (?) or just want someone to hear you out, someone to vent to but not to point things out to you, maybe having a blog is a better way to go or even calling up a friend to vent to. But I do agree that it's frustrating when you are in a situation, and when you are sure that the other person is in the wrong, that when the person who responds to your discussion gives you a perspective you dont' want to hear, it might be upsetting. *shrugs*. Plus there is no way to know 100% of the circumstances behind the situation or story or problem, so it's hard, as someone who responds to discussions, to draw conclusions from what you're saying. Maybe we are just not seeing the entire picture as you are, as you're the only one who knows exactly what is going on that may have been skipped over in the discussion. Know what I mean? I wouldn't get upset about it, is basically what I'm saying. On MyLot...We all receive responses that are totally unsolicited or not what we expected or wanted at all. I have many many times. You just ignore the ones you dislike and positively rate the ones you do. . I have had people respond to a long, thoughtful discussion of mine by saying "I don't know" (and that's it - literally). And I have had people be extremely rude and argumentative, when I wasn't trying to pick a fight, I was just trying to gain some insight on a situation in my life. I have also received answers with advice that I thought was bad or did not intend to follow. But hey, that's just it, we are all different people with different ideas of what is wrong and what's right, and we all are entitled to speak (or rather, type) our minds. Now, I hope this wasn't a lecture... If this is one of those discussions you intend to ignore, that's fine, I just thought I would share my point of view (like we all do in discussions). . Happy MyLotting! Oh, and I hope you resolved whatever relationship problem you were having!

I know what you mean but kind of the point of being here is commenting on discussions so if you post it people are going to respond. I do however, try to refrain from telling people that I know how they feel. I might however say that I can relate, but of course nobody can 100% relate to what someone else is going through but in a lot of cases some people can at least to a point relate to a certain experience, but as to saying how someone else feels that should be avoided. Also just saying something will be OK is not helpful either. Time does however heal all wounds, but at the time that a wound is opened it is hard to believe that and we don't really want to hear it.

You made me laugh (heheheh) Exactly! One thing that I do not like is- commenting on someone's situation. What will I say if I am not there- unless the person ask my opinion. Even the person ask for my opinion and advise if I haven't been there- it's not easy. It is always easy to relate with someone's situation when it did happens to me before- or I have been there before. I like reading status in facebook- and it amuses me when people start commenting...(lols)

If people simple want to get it of their chest, are not asking for a reply, advice or some empathie (no matter if it's the kind you like or not, it's not said others don't like it) then they should say so. I think this place is ment to be to start a discussion. Discussion means people talk.. not just read and ignore/don't answer. Or am I mistaken?

This reminds me of the time when I change my relationship status from in a relationship to single and people started liking it through facebook. I find it crazy that they seem happy that I broke up with my boyfriend then. People can get weird at times, you know?

Hi there! Thanks God that I am not like that when a friend or anybody talks to me about their relationship status or about anything. I think in this case I am a good listener! haha Because I really just listen to their story, sometimes I smile and try to make the situation lighter but I don't give unsolicited advises coz like what you have said, I don't know what they really are going through and besides sometimes, I just don't know what to say or sometimes i feel like my presence and few gestures is already enough to make someone feel that I am with them and that I can be a "shock absorber" of their rants!

I agree that people should not say that they know how you feel , or its ok. People may just be trying to be sympathetic to your feelings. I believe that listening is more important than commenting.