How do u handle people who's obviously there to use u?

@simonelee (2718)
China
May 25, 2012 4:31am CST
I've already encountered many people with different personalities and attitude and it doesn't affect who i am. But, recently i met someone who's acting so weird as if we know each other for very long and came to a point she almost take over everything what i have. It pissed me off and wanted to make a scene just to make her stop and make her realized what she's doing is beyond boundary. I know she only make friends of me because she want everything i have. she want me for her to be fame and be friend with my friends and etc. Guys, i need your help on how to stop this person. I already talked to her several times and still she's acting like having an amnesia.
5 people like this
20 responses
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
25 May 12
Some people are just like that. Be frank with her and tell her to stop. If you told her that already, keep telling or reminding her about it.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
25 May 12
I don't know if she did it intentionally to annoy me or she's too numb to feel the situation. I'm so tired of reminding her of her actions and still constantly doing it. For now I'm avoiding her to stop her because i don't want to be rude to her in public. That makes me look bad. She's to good in acting and manipulating people around us.
@yoniarnon (1081)
• Israel
25 May 12
I agree with chicgale and if she doesn't listen do like you think and avoid her
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
25 May 12
Yeah, it is better to just avoid her.
@viji_v2 (727)
• India
25 May 12
Hi, if she did it for the first time and you have talked with her about this issue, she may correct it, if it is done without knowledge. But if she do it again and again and even after you have talked to her, she is doing it purposely. For this situation, either you have to raise your hands or just move away from that place to save yourself from her again and again using you. If she is shown pity, she wont be stopping it at any time. Take care.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
25 May 12
I'm ignoring her right. She already have what she want(my friends and fame) and i know she's building her self to them to impress them. I know she's not a good person to be with my friends but i don't want to destroy her to my friends and look bad in the end cause she's acting differently in front of them. I keep blaming my self why i allow such person to be part of my life... now i regret it.
@viji_v2 (727)
• India
25 May 12
Don't worry friend. She cannot do it for longer. A person can't act like good person for long. Surely your friends will find her sooner. You stay as you are.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
27 May 12
I hope they'll found out soon and i'm hoping that girl won't do bad to my friends because i was responsible why they become friends too. They are good friends and they don't deserve to be use or being abused.
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
25 May 12
It sounds like you have already told her how she is making you feel and completely confronted her with this issue. If she is still behaving this way then it is probably just time to cut her loose. You don't need someone like that in your life. She is not a good a person and she does not value you as a friend or a human being, she does not deserve your friendship. It is time stop taking her calls and to stop hanging out with her. If people don't enhance your life then they are not worth having around, seek out new friendships with better quality people.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
28 May 12
I did my best to save our friendship that about to bloom but she didn't listen. It was like I'm talking to someone with selective amnesia. I consulted elders to give me advice and guide me with my actions, their reactions and adviceas are all the same. I asked friends too who she recently met and spend time with and they complaint the same issue. I thought i was the only one who feel and experiencing this.
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
28 May 12
It sounds like she is someone with a flawed character, perhaps if enough people distance their selves from her she may eventually learn the errors of her ways.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
31 May 12
I really hope for this Ladym33. I don't know if she is really innocent about this or she's just pretending to be. When i talked to her she's like a child who has innocent face and keep on saying "okay. Now i know,it won't happened again. Thank you for reminding me". Ugh! It's always like that. As if nothing happened, all the conversation we had is useless. I don't know if she is slow, retired or what. She's not normal.
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
29 May 12
Is she trying to be u? haha :D Why does she has to do that in the first place? She's like trying to take over u, replace your status in front of your friends. haha U should not be bothered about her because the moment she gets all she wanted, she will start to leave u alone. By then, u might already all your credibility or trust because of her Get the problem solved by getting out of her life, it would do u good ^^
@simonelee (2718)
• China
31 May 12
A lot of sigh for this. Can't really tell all she did to me. I hope it would be easy as that kun2349. A persona like her is a challenge and I'm not easy moved by someone but this time i almost give up. She put me in trouble many times,got humiliated by her intentionally. Now, i ask the one above to clear my mind and heart from anger and move on.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
1 Jun 12
So what are u waiting for? Unfriend her, get her out of your life, stop all contacts with her completely. Never mind if she starts badmouthing u now, if it takes a little sacrifice to get a fresh start, by all means When dealing with such people, u have to b hard hearted and harsh. I'm sure she knows your weakness and that's why she's exploiting it
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
26 May 12
Hi there! Perhaps she fall in love with your surroundings. She likes everything you have, you friends and so on. It just like what happened to someone I know. This one friend makes my friend feel that she's been ignored by others because of this that one friend. She does not want others to be with my friend and my friend feel sad. Fortunately she is a strong girl and don't care if that one friend wants to take everyone around her as she still can meet and make new friends. Anyway you need to tell her that you dislike what she did even if she make the amnesia thing again and again.(^^)
@simonelee (2718)
• China
31 May 12
Definitely inlove! She's dying to befriend my friends for years, now she saw a chance she instantly grab for it. Your friend experience is what she's actually doing now. I know she has other agenda that eventually destroy me from my friends. I have nothing to worry about cause I've been good to them but evil is much stronger now.
1 person likes this
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
1 Jun 12
You need to be careful with her. Yes, it is bad to have negative thought to others but sometimes like your case we can't help from having the negative thoughts especially when she seems to ignore what you said to her. Hope she can be like any other friend without any secret agenda to you.
@lumenmom (1996)
• United States
1 Jun 12
One thing you could try is talking to her and telling her a "story" about a person who pretended to be your friend just to get something from you and how you had to cut that person lose because you realized what they were doing. She would not have to know you are referring to her, she would think you were talking about someone else but she would then see what you do to people who treat you that way. It may help to open her eyes to see that you knwo what she's doing. In the end you may have to actually cut her off. If she asks why just say you are not comfortable with the way the relationship has been going and you thnk it is better for both of you if you back away for a while.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
1 Jun 12
Great idea lumenmon. Since she's been asking me to go out it's perfect to apply your suggestion. I hope she'll get the message of the story and come to realize it's already a warning that soon i'll dump her if she keep doing it to me. I'll met her if I'm ready and in the mood to tolerating her actions. One thing i don't like being with her is her jokes. I don't feel like laughing about it. I'ts so obvious that she's just pretending to be someone you'll love to be with, no dull moment.Duh!
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
25 May 12
Just tell her what you feel and just keep away from her. Make her understand what you want. Don't allow her to be closed to you and warn your friends about her. There will be possibility that she will use your friends against you so better be prepared.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
31 May 12
I think she really did cause the moment we met they changed a bit. They are no longer as warm as before. There's an awkward feeling. This this pissed me off. Just one snap big changes happened that is why i decided to get rid of her. I was worried and paranoid. I'm hopping that my friends will see her true colors and flaws. That it is not me who have problem. I was once competing to her but i realized why should i? I hope this experience will turn into positive one.
• United States
25 May 12
I dismiss those type of people out of my life completely and entirely, no remorse. Forgiven, but not forgotten and never again can we be friends. Polite passersby only at that point.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
31 May 12
Have you experienced this also? I don't easily forgive people neither forget the pain. I don't want to be a monster to her but she pushes me to the limit. Mylot is my exhaust cause i can't really express myself to my friends and I'm avoiding that this issue will get worst and more people involve, some friends advices won't help also. Thank you for dropping by mrscallands22.
• Philippines
25 May 12
just ignore her if she doesn't listen to you. anyway, it's not your lost.it hers. if she's not listening to you, then it just proved that she just befriended you because she need something from you. be intelligent enough to know whose worth your time.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
28 May 12
I really dislike her attitude. I was not expecting it because I've been nice to her and warmly welcome her. Few days spending time with her only prove that she's not worth to befriend. As we spend time together i can sense that she's not sincere and her laugh sometimes is fake, not only i who observed it. Thank God.
@swapmind (357)
• Australia
25 May 12
It is sometime difficult to understand a person who newly walked into your life.It takes time to adjust but if at any point of time you realise there are some intolerable things just make the person understand your problem,i mean set some terms and conditions because these are the things which if not rectified may turn your life into hell.So mere cribbing upon the things is no remedy ,streamline the things before it turns grave and you end up as a sufferer.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
27 May 12
You're a deeep person. hahaha it made me read you response trice. I did my best and talked to her several times but she keep repeating her wrong doings. She agreed with me and later doing it again. As if we never talked. I sincerely open my feelings to her and told her i still welcome her to be my friend if she stop doing it. I'm already tired of understanding her, i was hurt several times and for her as if she did nothing bad.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
25 May 12
Avoid her and stopped talking to her. If she doesn't listen and stop what she is doing, then the best thing you can do is, to put a gap between you and her. Never talked to her and always avoid her. She is too good with manipulating other people, so be it- those people and your friends will come to know about the truth one day... Believe that, there is no bad intention and lies that won't be revealed.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
27 May 12
Thank you jaiho. I was really pissed off to the extent i cried. I don't deserved it and i treated her nicely and welcome her to be part of our group and now she's trying to destroy me. Why there's such a person like her living in this world. I hope soon everyone notice her flaws. If she's an actress she already won Oscar award for best actress.
@Mashnn (4503)
25 May 12
If you really think she is bothering you then you can cut her off from all your communication by changing your phone numbers and letting her know that you are truly fed up with her.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
27 May 12
I will do that someday. I already blocked her in social networking site cause she's been asking me about my account. I don't her to penetrate my life deeply so i did it. Someday i wish that she'll realized her actions. If she continue to be like that all the people surrounding her will gone. I hope her friends won't do it to her.
• India
25 May 12
I would agree with a mylotter. To be frank and tell her. Maybe you need to be more specific. Maybe she is acting to show her innocence. You tell her clearly and tell her to stay out sternly. She should stop.
@surekharathi (14134)
• India
25 May 12
Friend same position was with me a girl make me friends and we were friends but she used me for her study purpose. Then after completing purpose she told me dont talk with me I feel very shocking how can a girl use to another girl. I also stop talking with her but next time no make any friend.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
27 May 12
So you fully understand me. So she just used you to pass and get high grades? Too bad. So, you stop trusting your classmates? Friends are important but make sure you pick the right one because good friends will last forever, either you're up or down. Good friends are rare to find nowadays but i know there are still good one left. Let's give other a chance but be wise and observant.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
25 May 12
If you don't like hanging out with her then as the others have said then just avoid her. It doesn't sound as if you really like her much at all anyway. That being said, I'm not sure that I follow just what exactly she is doing that is so wrong. You say that she wants "everything you have" which is what? If you think she is going to steal from you then you just should not have her around at all. She wants to be friends with your friends? Maybe she likes them like you do. Am I misunderstanding this? I'm not following what the problem is. She wants fame??? How would she get that from hanging out with you?? I feel like I'm just misunderstanding a lot in this discussion.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
27 May 12
Lets say my friends are in limelight. That girl want my position and be close to my friends. I have nothing against that but as i observed she just used me and start pretending. She only talk to me if my friends are around and if not as if she's alone. They are now close but my friends also observed that she treated them not as the same before. Why? because she was already known close to my friends so why put more effort? What she get from hanging out with me? Fame. Instant fame.
@Sanitary (3969)
• Singapore
29 May 12
There's only one thing you can do, stop the friendship. Unfriend her from your life and she would be out immediately. If your friends around you knows it, they will come back to you. I have similar friends like her and i have unfriend quite a few of them. What hurts me most is, such friends would often get our very friends to turn their back on us, sowing discord in order for them to fully owned them. I dislike such person and i won't hesitate to be harsh on them when opportunity rises.
@gaiza12 (4889)
• Philippines
29 May 12
Ignore and stay away from her as much as possible. If she keeps on going where ever you go, try to ask her to leave you alone. I haven't felt being used before so my advise won't be as good as the others.
@musicman6 (2369)
• United States
27 May 12
Everybody here has some good advice, and one thing I know for sure, is that you need to confront here immediately, because the longer you wait to do it, the more she is gonna think she can get away with it! As soon as she sees that she cannot get away with it the sooner she will stop! And you have to be strong and decisive!
@megamatt (14327)
• United States
27 May 12
Yes it really is a bad thing when we come to the conclusion that this person is there just to use us. It really does hurt, as we obviously took the friendship far more serious than the other person really does. Yet there are just some people who obviously are not going to take the friendship all too seriously. It is really a sad state. It is really hard to deal with people like this and it is a sad moment when we just have to cut them loose from our lives. But it is rather necessary to really do, because they aren't doing us much of any good. And obviously, they are going to act like they have done nothing wrong. Because in their minds, they have done nothing wrong. To live the life of delusions, it must be nice.
@alberello (4755)
• Italy
25 May 12
Well, dear friend, you and me, we are somewhat the same way! In the sense that I feel I have almost no personality, then, in the span of my life I've been used by many people. In particular, and this is almost I might recommend it to you, a person who wanted to go out with me, but "control" him. This to me was not at all well! One evening I took the phone and called him, finding him an excuse I said simply, "I feel I do not frequent more than you, friends like before!"