You don't need to be here.
By Amber
@AmbiePam (85975)
United States
June 20, 2012 3:09pm CST
A discussion from another mylotter prompted me to remember something funny. I am on disability. And I am also bipolar (that is NOT the reason I'm on disability). Because I was on Medicaid I had to get my medication from a certain place. And that place required you to see a counselor. I thought that was good. I mean anyone with any kind of mental illness (seems so strange to refer to myself as having a mental illness. I'm just so boring and normal) can only benefit from talking through issues. But after a couple of times seeing my assigned counselor she apologized to me. She said she didn't think I needed counseling. You're supposed to go twice a month, but she changed mine to once a month. Then, after having someone higher up go over my case, they changed it to once every two months because they didn't feel I needed to come. And when I did go we talked about politics, religion, where to get the best groceries...I just thought it was hilarious. I had to come because of the rules. Now truthfully, some days I needed to talk things through because if you know of my situation, you know problems abound. Eventually, I changed facilities and didn't have to see a counselor at the new place.
A long time ago when I was in college a professor was out of line, and I told him so privately. If I told you what he said, you'd agree. He told me I could not come back to class until I talked to the President of the college. So I went up to the office of the president the next day, and he apologized. He said he reviewed what had gone on and I was not at fault. It totally backfired on that professor.
Some places you just don't expect apologies. It seems weird. I would never think a counselor would tell you you don't need help because wouldn't that mean losing business? And I expect someone high up in the academic world would try to cover a professor's behind instead of agreeing with a student. I was taken off guard both times.
Anyone familiar with situations such as these?
4 people like this
13 responses
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
20 Jun 12
some many years back when i was in my twenties, i was able to talk about pretty bad things that had happened to me without crying or a lot of emotion. when i was sent by an organization to a counselor, we called a "shrink" back then, iwent twice a week for about 3 months. He must have thought i was ok (i wasnt, never have been)
because he told me i didnt need him. i just needed to grow up a little more and face things. 
anyway, i cried all the way home! since then ive realised its because he didnt see my real problem, which was, guess what? Rejection! of all things
because he told me i didnt need him. i just needed to grow up a little more and face things. anyway, i cried all the way home! since then ive realised its because he didnt see my real problem, which was, guess what? Rejection! of all things2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Jun 12
hi bunnybon all counselors are not good ones and you did get the
short end of the stick with that one.my husband had to have a counselor for a long time as he got to where he was afraid to walk out the door, so I had to work for both of us to keep us afloat. they really did help him too and after some months he began to be his own self again and went back to work with no more fears at all. so so me counselors are good and some are great and some are worthless too./
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
20 Jun 12
Back when I got a divorce you had to go to conseling before you could file...well I went then my ex went....then we had to go together....and we sat there and the couselor told me to file and move on with my life.....and he told my ex he needed to be in his office every week....I have heard that sometimes marriage couselors get addicted to their patients....and keep dragging it out so they have a solid business....So yours was really honest! It was also good you got an apology from the college pres....my daughter had a run in with a professor and my son told her to let the professor know that her tution was paying his wages....LOL.....he didn't back down though!
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
20 Jun 12
Oh yes, I can relate. Not that life is perfect now, but you remember the problem I had years ago with my husband? Well he started going to counseling and then he said I need it too. So I did start going, (to a different counselor because every time we go to the same counselor, he over talks me and then the counselor says I have a problem), and I went probably for not even a year and she said she doesn't need to really see me but left it open for me to make appointments if things get out of hand. Which they are again, but it has been many months since I been there..
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
20 Jun 12
Oh I forgot, when I told my husband this, he of course said something like, "Of course, you probably made me out to be a bad guy and you have no problems" No, I do tell her where I go wrong as well as when he acts immature, so I don't play the "I am a victim and pity me card" like he does..
1 person likes this
@lafredricktaylor (256)
• United States
20 Jun 12
Well a while back i had to take anger management classes because i got into an altercation with someone once. But in the class, the teacher seemed as if she needed to be sitting in the desk next to me. And after a couple of sessions, i wanted to prove that everyone gets angry and lose their cool sometimes and if i am to be punished for it, then everyone that gets angry should. But anyway, i came to that conclusion when the teacher used to get upset an awful lot when people kept asking back to back questions. she hated that! so one day she was talking about things in life that make you mad. So one of the guys asked her a question. and she was trying to brush the question off so i came back and asked the same question and told her that i didnt hear her answer the question. After she answered the question another guy asked a what if. The teacher then says..are you goin to teach this class or do you want me to continue..and i replied, well ma'am we have to ask the questions because if we knew what other to do than lose our tempers..we wouldnt be here right. She replied...I dont know where the H*LL you would be but i know where you finna be if you dont stop asking all these Da*N questions..the room got quiet and everyone was looking around. She walked out the class for a lil while. She came back in after a few minutes and apologized..now to me..i think she has taught this class enough to know better. But hey..the world is ran by people who jus have jobs! but it was jus funny how the picked her to show us how NOT to get upset about simple stuff!
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
21 Jun 12
okay I am a retired therapist, you can always talk to me on those days you may feel you need to.
Yes a counselor will tell you you don't need counseling because we are bound by and ethical board, like a doctor we are to do no harm and have clients dependent on seeing a therapist when they in fact can learn to deal with their issues on their own is wrong for reasons.
1 - the person will never learn to be independent I make the right choices for their lives, if someone is always there counseling them.
2 - the person is robbing the client of their money. Counseling is a service, you wouldn't go to an eye doctor if nothing was wrong with your eyes would you?
3 - It is unethical
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Jun 12
ambiepam the professor had to back you up as it was
his job to do so.also a counselor has the duty to be truthful so if he honestly thought he could not help he would say so. maybe he
just felt he was not qualified to help a bi polar person.I had
a boss who was bipolar and refused to take her medications so
she was always really down or horribly up , we were her worst
crew one day and her =best crew the next. it was hard to work
under her as yo u never knew what to expect either. she could be so nice and if she had taken her meds she would not have fired fou
people in the years she worked there.after she left they hired back three of them. I was the on who cou ld no come back as I had broken myshoulder, had surgery and have only a small usage of my left arm so no shelving books for me at all. she was fired for firing me on age as thats not a vaid reason to fire a good wmployee so I was asked back but physically I could no longer do the job.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
21 Jun 12
I am trying to think of a time this has happened to me, Ambie, but I can't seem to think of any at all.
I've had to go to counselor's before, and I am glad you had a great one. I'm bipolar as well, but when I went to counselor's it was before I found out. Though I do believe I went to maybe two sessions wherein one they told me I was bipolar, and another was a follow up appointment.
In any case, I had one counselor, well the prerequesite, to whom would "Evaluate" me, this guy really made me feel uncomfortable. I don't remember the whole situation, which makes me wonder if maybe I repressed it, but I was at a difficult time mentally when I saw him. The only thing i can remember is he made me feel frightened, he was coming on to me sexually. I went to see a counselor at that same place and I told her that I did not, under any circumstances, EVER want to see that guy again. They told me I had a separation disorder, I forget what it is called. I sense have gotten over it, as it really only lasted about three or four months, and I didn't need to see them after that, thankfully.
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14691)
• United States
21 Jun 12
Yeah, pretty much the same as you with the counselor. I had panic attacks since the age of 17. When I was 41, I heard there was not only a name for what I had but also a treatment. I had to see a psychologist because of my insurance. I think I created a sonic boom running to a counselor's office! lol
Anyway, the counselor told me I needed to see a psychiatrist because of the issue of panic disorder syndrome and because they were qualified to prescribe medication whereas the counselor was not. So, I saw a psychiatrist.
It only took one session with him for him to say that I did not need counseling. My problem wasn't psychiatric, it was physical, and the medication got rid of my panic attacks. I had to see him every two months, though, for what he called "medication maintenance". I guess he needed to make sure I wasn't growing a tail or a third eye or something. I saw him for a half hour every two months. After about a year of that, my GP began prescribing me the medication I needed for the panic attacks so I no longer had to see the psychiatrist. That suited me just fine since it was cheaper to see my GP and because whenever I was with the psychiatrist, we ended up discussing HIS problems! 
I'm glad to hear that both of the situations you mentioned worked for you, especially the one about school. It sounds like you found some very honest people. It's a shame there aren't more like that.
I'm glad to hear that both of the situations you mentioned worked for you, especially the one about school. It sounds like you found some very honest people. It's a shame there aren't more like that.1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
24 Jun 12
Yes..and they are rare occasions. There are a lot of people out there looking out for themselves and the biggest problem is that they are in fields that people really need good people in. It id great to meet people that are really in their places for the cause and not just out for that dollar.
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
20 Jun 12
hi dear Ambie, didnt happen to me yet but I am glad it happened to you so that sure was and still is good for your self esteem. You got these nice experiences to fall back on when you have a bad day and question yourself too much.
1 person likes this
