Alone and Confused

I´m so sorry, friend. Before my vacation, I remember that you told us you had been offered a job. What happened to that? I also read at another time that your home had some empty bedrooms. Would it be possible that your mother lived with you so you wouldn´t have to go back and forth?

I am sorry to hear of your dilemma. Could you talk to your husband about how you are feeling? We have been through a similar experience and although it is difficult, I offered to help where I can, by phoning during the day and going to help with meals or whatever whilst my wife is in work. Because I am self-employed I can take time during the day. If I did not do this, my wife would have to get unpaid leave, and that would make things difficult. My wife and I sat and talked about it and she said how exhausted she was, and I couldn't see her making things worse with extra duties. Because we are together I think it is good share difficult tasks that have to be done. More important is that we have to share our feelings with each other, we have to talk to each other, or we wouldn't realize how stressed we become. _Derek

You are tired every day, because you are stretching yourself too thin. Are there services available in your area that could help with your mother a bit? As for your husband, he is an adult. He does not need for you to tend to his every need. Yes, he does spend his days working outside of the home; however, that does not mean that you have to do every single thing when it comes to cooking, cleaning and keeping the house. Do what is reasonable in terms of cooking and cleaning; do not push yourself to be some "perfect" homemaker.

Hi jade, good morning ! dont let things get you down, that is life and it is tough until you come to terms with it ! We have all gone through this and later when you look back you feel that it was just one of those experiences that helped you grow.Try to organise things so that it is easier for you to tackle every day chores in the best possible manner.Communicating with your husband may also help you ..All the best and take care jade

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this difficulties in life. Don't take life that hard, but try to carry the burden lightly. I know it is easier said than done, but think this way. Who will take care of your mom or your husband if you won't stay stronger for them. And who will take care of you if you let depression win over you.

Alone and confused, this happens to all at some point of our lives. I hope you still find some time to relax and take care of your own health so you could continue giving care and love to your family and your mom. Remember that life is full of hardships for now but everything will improve soon.. No storms last forever Jade. The sun will shine and you will be happy too. Meanwhile, enjoy life as it is. Your good works will never be in vain.

I am sorry you're going through this. Is your husband giving you any emotional support? I know from personal experience that it is very hard to stretch yourself so thin, doing your job at home while taking care of loved ones outside the home. You need to set some priorities to relieve some of the pressure on yourself. Figure out the things that are important. For instance, cooking your husband dinner is important but can you spend a couple of hours cooking several dishes and just heat up portions at dinner time? In the time it takes to make one dinner you could make 3-4 and take that daily pressure away. Do you dust every day? Cut down to once every 3 days. Your house won't suffer but you'll have more time and less pressure. Can your mother in law help or do you feel comfortable asking her? Remember, this is just one of many situations that will arise in the coming years. The way you and your husband and family work together in dealing with things like this is important. Although your husband is important, your mother need you and this situation won't last long. If he is upset with your attention to your mother, ask him if he would feel the same if it was his mother. This is life. Streamline your duties at home so that you can make people you love, not housework, important.

Hi jaderamirez, sorry to hear but you are good wife and good daughter. I hope you could be patience through this condition. God has know that you are must be strong. I hope your husband understand about your condition that you were tired. and no make it problem. Keep spirit. Enjoy your time to take care your mom. you still have chance and no all of daughters could be like you.

Hi Jade... I admire you for your kindness. Your hubby and your mom are both treasures, it truly can get confusing. I only wish you more strength and patience.

good day jaderamirez, with regard to your query, well, it is really confusing. however, in your situation right now, it will be best to pray unceasingly to God. in that way, your situation will be lighten. and, cast all your worries unto Him, since, He is only the way to find the true solution.

That is a really hard position to be in. Maybe you should sit down and plan everything you need to do. Make a schedule, according to your husband's office timing, and your mom's most urgent needs. And during all this, don't forget to take good care of yourself, because you feeling down or falling sick [due to ignoring your health] is not going to help anyone.

Well... that's tough. I've never been in such a situation since I am still single. You have to prioritize who needs you more. Maybe take shifts: you help your mom on some days or sometimes your husband. Figure out a way to a get a job that would suit your schedule. Your husband should be able to understand that your mother needs you too and vice versa. You haven't mentioned kids so I guess your husband will be fine on his own, he's old enough and he's healthy

Hi jade! Be patient with all these challenges in life. Every little thing that we do to help or to make others happy will be rewarded, most especially if we sacrifice our personal convenience for that matter. You might not appreciate this response as you read it but I assure you someday, you can come back to this response. God bless.

Sorry to hear that,I think you are supposed to take care of your mother because life in a good health is more important than anything else,besides it's a happy life's base.Your husband,i think he will understand you after you communicate with him.

Hi Jade, I agree life is tough. Traditionally ladies have to lead a double life. In one life they have to keep their husband happy. At the same time they have to look after their parents. I am sure you will also be able to do it. Women are emotionally much stronger than men. That is why God and society has given a woman two lives to live. I am sure you will be able to make a success of both lives.