Helping someone you don't like...

@viju0410 (2286)
India
July 18, 2012 3:21am CST
Hi friends, There is a neighbor aunty in her 60s and yesterday she fell down near our house and I saw her and rushed to give a helping hand. But somehow, she was not ready to get up at all. She sat on the road for almost 4 minutes and I was actually calling others for help so that we can take her back home for first aid as she had broken her nose and was bleeding. Soon there were 3-4 of us and we asked her if she’s ok or we need to take her to the doctor. Now this aunty (& her husband too) is very self centric in nature and always complain about some or the other problems in the colony. We only visit them once a year during the Diwali festival to exchange greetings. In short, though I am not comfortable with that lady, I did help her but with some hesitation. But when she got up, she spoke few sweet n magic words/ blessings/ thanking etc which left me speechless. They made me develop some kind of respect for her…. Do you have something to share in similar lines? Have you helped the ones whom you don’t like? Thanks and happy lotting. Viju
5 people like this
18 responses
@Suggar (3612)
• Bulgaria
18 Jul 12
We are all different Viju, we don't like each other the way we are, that's why we collect friends similar to our characters or completely different but we still have a point or two, or even more to build up good relations or friendship. But such human needs like someone fell and needs a hand to stand up, or someone is trying to kill him and you are helping the person to not get killer or hurt, it is in our nature I think. Even if we don't like someone we are still people blessed with heart and we are unable to watch how someone get hurt or suffer in front of out eyes. If we were able to help and haven't done it, it will eat our conscience. In our building there are only pensioners living. To be honest I don't like talking to them at all, some are annoying, others are full of madness. When we first came into this building our neighbors who are near to us and we separate the same wall for our living rooms were making us problems for the noise. They called our landlord and told him we are living too loud, we take showers too late at the night and so on ... To be honest I don't like them all. Second night when we spent here we made party with our friends and their daughter came on our door with the question "Who are you here?". But now we say hello or just simple chat when we meet in the corridors. I don't like doing it, but in the name of the peace for all us and our relations I can't ignore them.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
18 Jul 12
Hi, Agreed with each of your word here. I think the blessed heart within us is doing the magic. However, i am happy she spoke those sweet words to me. I think it is the best way to avoid tiffs, be a bit friendly even though you don't like but for peace, you can do it. I can understand about the pensioners, even the above response of LK also feels about the pessimistic side of certain people. Thanks for sharing your experience.
1 person likes this
@Suggar (3612)
• Bulgaria
18 Jul 12
I believe that everyone has his button of getting good instead of bad mannered. Probably you touched this button.
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
20 Jul 12
• United States
18 Jul 12
It is good that you helped this lady, even though you do not really like her, especially since she was injured and really needed your help. I think the fact that she did not want to stand up right away was probably a combination of shock and pain. I am glad to hear that after she recovered a bit she was kind to you as well. I have helped people that I did not like if they really needed the help, especially if they were hurt or in danger. I think that is the right thing to do, and I would hope that they would do the same thing for me if the situation were reversed. There are only a few people that I would not help regardless of the situation, and even these people I cannot say with 100% certainty that I would not help them if the situation were really serious, even though they have done some very bad things to me in the past.
2 people like this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
19 Jul 12
hi, You are another kind hearted person friend. Yes it is true at times we help them irrespective of our liking. I got scared when she was not at all getting up and that made me worried as well. But her words were very soothing and i start respecting that age factor as well. Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jul 12
Yes, I can understand why it would be scary for you, and I am sure it was just as scary (of not more so) for her. It is good that she had someone there to help her, though, because I am sure that comforted her and helped her to feel calmer and not panic as much, especially since it sounds like she was hurt pretty bad. It is good that her words soothed you as well ... you were there for each other, which is a bond that I hope continues in the future.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9476)
• United States
18 Jul 12
I'm glad that you helped her out. I would help someone out if they were in a situation like that even if I don't have favorable feelings toward them. It's best to help someone out we never know if we would be in there shoes someday. I hope that she is recovering well.
2 people like this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
19 Jul 12
Hi, Thanks for your kind words. That's right, we never know if we would be in their shoes. Yes, hope so, she's recovering faster. Its a concern as she's in old age so hope she's taking care. I couldn't meet her yesterday as they were not at home.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jul 12
Yeah when people age it is usually harder to heal. Hopefully you can catch her at a different time and see how she is doing. I would hate to fall down at my age let alone if I was her age. That gets pretty scary. As older ones can break their bones easier and that could lead them to having to live in a facility after a fall.
@shibham (17025)
• India
18 Jul 12
Hi viju... Years ago, i was attempted to be murdered. Last year, i got the judgement from court and that person got the punishment. If that family needs any help, then a big NO from me. Otherwise my helping hand is always available for friend and foe. Friend gets honored and foe gets realized... let them realize and lament. Have a nice time.
2 people like this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
18 Jul 12
Hi shibham, OH No, what was that for dear?? anyways, hope the matter is settled now and you are safe. I kow you are a kind soul but of course this family will never turn to you for help. Wish they soon realize their mistake/s. How's the wedding preparations? Is the flood under control in your area?
1 person likes this
@shibham (17025)
• India
18 Jul 12
Viju, Dont know the exact reason, i think someone provoked that person to attack me from backside. Everything is settled now. Wedding preparation is running smoothly, Last 15 days i was almost busy with my sister as she gave birth my niece on 6th July. Flood is under control but some places are still suffering.
1 person likes this
• India
18 Jul 12
viju, good to hear that you helped that unsocial aunty, really it shows your kindness, there is nothing wrong in helping the persons whoever we hate, by this way we can make a good friendship with them. Hope the aunty never forget about your help and here after you both have a good friendship
2 people like this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
19 Jul 12
vp, well, even i am not so social but i know i am active when it comes to neighborhood activities. I am not sure about the friendship but i now hope, she'll stop complaining about the people's behaviour.
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
18 Jul 12
hello viju, Good job That is human instinct. In times like this we sometimes forgot about our feelings or what is between us with the other person. What we have in mind is to help the needy- as we are not in a warzone. I won't hesitate doing the same thing even if I don't like the other person or I am not close to the person. To help someone is a privilege that doesn't cross our way everyday, therefore we should let it pass. have a great day
2 people like this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
19 Jul 12
Thanks jai. I am very simple and i don't have much longer list of people i don't like. But somehow, i was never too close or friendly with them. That's right we are not in a warzone and more so, noone was there too which actually made me worry as well. Happy lotting..
• Philippines
18 Jul 12
When someone needs help, whether you know him or not, you should offer a helping hand. If you help someone you don't like, you might become friends after all. You realize that he is nice after all.
2 people like this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
18 Jul 12
Hi, That’s really true and we do usually help them. But its again true that we might change the feelings for that person after the incident. Thanks for sharing your views and happy lotting..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Jul 12
Hello viju, it's clear that this person is old and have tendency to be less patient than the younger ones. maybe they have been very pessimistic for a long time with her husband as to why people aren't so fond of them. you have done something really good for the rest of the people, i wish i can be nice to misguided people some day
2 people like this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
18 Jul 12
Hi LK, Yes, we too have felt that way as at least even during the get togethers / social gathering (especially during festivals) the couple had their own silly reasons for not participating but always tried to find out mistakes of others. Best wishes and happy lotting.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
18 Jul 12
You have done a great service and at the same time discovered that your neighbor is not a bad person afterall. She may have unpleasant character not to your liking but there is still a soft spot in this woman that mesmerized you which could reconnect the missing link.
2 people like this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
18 Jul 12
HI, Thanks for praising me friend. Sometimes people prove us wrong or may be i have always underestimated her. Yes, no doubt, now i have sincere respect from the bottom of my heart for her. May be the words she spoke was really the missing link.
1 person likes this
@toyota4k (1212)
• Philippines
18 Jul 12
It is our duty to help our neighbors when they are in need whether we like or dislike them. When we help somebody, we should not ask or wait for rewards for helping somebody. Wait for the Almighty for blessings in return for the good deeds we make
2 people like this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
18 Jul 12
Hi, yes, you are right. We never wait to see who need our help, it was just the time and i was the only one nearby that lady so i helped her at the moment. Thanks for both the responses. Very rightly quoted.
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (8987)
• United States
18 Jul 12
Wow, bless your soul! Kudos for looking past your own feelings in order to the right thing, and that is to overlook this lady's past attitudes to you. So far I haven't done this yet, as I have yet to witness someone that will need my help. I may not like a few people because of the way they treat me even though I wasn't doing anything wrong to them, but it sure is not reason enough to deny them immediate help if they really require it. As what most people would say, its always better to be the one to extend help than be the one to need it.
2 people like this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
18 Jul 12
Hi, That's so sweet of you. We hardly talk and she find it always difficult to even smile at us. I thought that is their way of treating people so why bother much. I know we are not at fault but may be its their attitude towards others. Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jul 12
I can't think of a time in my life where this kind of situation happened. It is sweet that she had kind words for the people who helped her out. That may get someone tovisit her more than once a year. good luck..
2 people like this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
18 Jul 12
Yes, definitely i made up my mind to knock her door this evening just to check on her hurt nose. I too experienced this for the first time in life.... Thanks for being here.
1 person likes this
@anex08 (868)
• Philippines
18 Jul 12
wow! that's a good job. weather we like it or not we have to help each others out because we cannot depend on ourselves all the time. I salute you for giving out a helping hand even in doubt and a few sweet words melt your heart away which means you're absolutely a person with great personality and a big heart...
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
18 Jul 12
Hi, You made my day with your sweet words too dear friend. This particular couple shifted to the house the same day when we moved there. From that day one, we never had good terms though there was nothing bad as well. May be because of the age or we say generation gap, they always had a different (rather opposite) view for everything. Really, i never thought she would speak so kindly to me. Thanks for boosting up my spirits!
1 person likes this
@toyota4k (1212)
• Philippines
18 Jul 12
We are all bound to help others, either those we like or not and we help them because they do need our help. but when we help others,we need not expect or wait for rewards.
2 people like this
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
19 Jul 12
Hi viju Helping anyone at the time of need (on a good context like this) is always something really great. I am happy that you did it. Not all will do this kind of acts. For me, yes, there have been some incidents where I had helped the "not so lovable" people and I was also misunderstood once. But then, I dont care in how and what you think, I think and do what I feel right. Back in village, there is this "betu" whom I never liked, he is a shopkeeper (grocery seller) who always charges his own rates, talks filthy about customers with other customers and his language too isnt that polite. Almost no one liked him. One rainy night he closed the shop and was returning back home, met with some accident and there was blood loss. Someone found him and took him to the hospital. News spread, his family is illiterate and his kids too young at that time. No one had access to money at home or anywhere. And they needed blood. This was one time when I donated my blood for this person. And some people also took me wrongly that I am trying to win the shopkeeper as a friend to get my stuff at cheaper rates and what not! but that is how things are at villages! Unfortunately, it has been 14 years since I last went to my village.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
19 Jul 12
Hi sid That's very inspiring story. We do what we feel is right. I could have ignored her also, but a that time i felt tensed when she didn't get up. Hope after that incident 'betu' changed his attitude towards you. I can understand people never say good things, some people are there who make up bad stories out of good deeds. I too never understand such persons. Hope yu get another chance to visit your village soon. This aunty always had problem with my husband and argues on the quality of water supplied in our colony, though my husband has no authority or has anything to do with the water supply. Of course to certain limit, he help the person incharge to do maintenance of motor/borewell etc out of his own interest and sometime do the work free of cost. My husband never spoke to her respecting her age. Anyways, hope she's taking care of her broken nose.
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
20 Jul 12
I missed the aunty completely I think she is all alone at the home or has no one to talk to. This is why when she finds one person accessible, she starts telling all that she has on her mind. When I used to go to the old age home here, I always felt that the old people have almost no one to talk to. And when the find one, they go on and on and on - it is just normal as I might do the same when I meet someone at my home.
@sjvg1976 (13822)
• Delhi, India
18 Jul 12
Hello Viju, Its great job you did.I know its not easy to help people whom we don't like. Its like you i also forget that i don't like that person and always extend my helping hand to him/her when he/she needs it.There are few people who think like you Viju if we all think like this may be we would be able to make this world a better place to live.
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
19 Jul 12
Hi sj, May be there is some missing link which's connecting back. I usually don't have many names in 'don't like' category. But then i just forget about how she treated us etc and i was also a bit worried when she was not getting up even after 4 minutes... but it's kind of her to have spoken those nice words.
@Hatley (157523)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Jul 12
hi viju I realize you are from India and I am here in the USA. but we have a saying that Christ once said"Thou you help the leasst of them, you also help me" I am a Christian and I have helped others whom I was not comfortable with and found that the only reason I had not been comfortable w as I had believed arumor that this woman was a snob , and very unfriendly.I found out she was not snobby nor unfriendly but just shy like myself. We became good friends and when I mov ed and called back in search of her, she had just passed away from fast growing cancer.,
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
19 Jul 12
Hiii, I am so happy to hear you. Hope you are doing fine. Many mylotters have always missed your responses/posts and they always prayed for your good health. Very sorry about that friend of yours. We never understand that why people are away when we really need to reach them. Thanks for quoting "Thou you help the leasst of them, you also help me" Warm regards,
@freymind (1352)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
I think I've done it a lot in my life now . Be it someone at home or school. I don't know why but I don't think its hard to help someone who is in need.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
20 Jul 12
Hi, that's really great of you. Keep up doing the good deeds. Yes, we can't see someone in pain, even they are the persons who are not friendlier to us. Thanks fr your response.