How do you deal if a partner verbally abuse another partner?
By ajithlal
@ajithlal (14716)
India
July 18, 2012 9:57pm CST
I have seen partner verbally abusing the other partner in front of people and I wonder what I can do to help them. Sometimes when we see our friend's partner verbally abusing our friend, we might be helpless on that situation. What is the best advice we can give to comfort our friends and also for the friend's partner to not verbally abuse he or she?
3 people like this
12 responses
I also think it is an embarrassing situation.
@rsa101 (37969)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
Well being the third party it is really hard to butt in and involve yourself from stopping the situation. I think it is the abused party that can say "NO" to all of this and if the other party can do this then I think that is where the part you can really protect the person from being harmed further. But when the abused allows this to happen then I guess we have no right at the moment to stop this from happening.
2 people like this
I also think sometimes third party can hardly involve in it and stop the situation. I think most probably we need to advice the person who does.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
20 Jul 12
Hi ajithlal: Depends on how abusive but I think I would say at some point stop! You are rude with this person and it's simply not fair. You are not being educated, etc. And if it's not that terrible, when I have time I sure talk to the victim and tell him/ her that he/ she should make something to stop this abuse.
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
19 Jul 12
In such situation, you have to look for a chance to talk to them at a private and comfortable place where discussions can be held in a more harmonious and open manner. Gives advise on respecting each other and let them know of the consequences of doing that in front of the public. Of course, you must be prepared that the abuser may insult you or raise his or her voice on you. Then you must take it patiently and explain to the person again.
@gracepadirog (201)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
oh its so embrassing to have a husband like that,for mw, i will talk to my friend privately, i will advise her to talk to her husband not to do that in public they should talk about that matter seriously,they should have a fix deal regarding that matter,the wife and her husband
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157873)
• United States
19 Jul 12
Sometimes it is not a good idea to intervene, because the abuse may escalate. It is good to use kind words in your relationships so that there is some idea of how people who are supposed to treat each other. It is very sad to see a friend being abused.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Jul 12
ajithlal hi if you sawy a man beating his partner would you not stop him? So if a partner is verbally abusing a friend of yours I would be embarrassed but I would walk over and say"that is your partner do not abuse her like that. I like you bu I do not like what you
are doing." now its up to her and him, if she has some common sense she will tell the husband or boyfriend"do no talk to me like that as I will not let you do this to me." if he does not stop get the woman to walk off with you and let the male partner cool off and come to his senses if he has any.
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
19 Jul 12
Thanks Hatley for the advice. I think physical abuse most people would stop him or her. I think now a days verbal abuse most people would not interfere. I also sometimes wonder what I should do when finding myself in such kind of situation. Sometimes my friends quarrel in such situation, sometimes it would be verbal abuse, or sometimes it would be like making fun of the partner. I wonder what pleasure such people get in such kind of situation. I think it is better for me to stop such situation when it begins. I think some people get pleasure in humiliating their partners in front of others.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 Jul 12
When a person is abused in a relationship, there is really nothing that you can do in order to help the partner that is being abused because you cannot help a person that does not want to be helped.
With that said, if you are friends with a person that you know is being abused, then the best thing that you can ever do for that person is to be a friend to that person. Be there for them if they need someone to talk to.
1 person likes this
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
21 Jul 12
As a friend we need to remind them of their worth as a human, and that it's not right for anyone to abuse us in anyway - verbally or physically. In a relationship, loving is one thing, respect is another.
1 person likes this
@zhette4220 (181)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
I've been in that situation...and i felt so embarrassed that even my friends has to hear how he speaks harshly towards me... If i'd be asked, it would be better I guess if my friend would just act they don't listen maybe? or they'd just go out.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137251)
• Philippines
23 Jul 12
The best you can do is to report the abuse in hot line for battered wife, or consult to lawyers to file a case against the person whom they were been verbally abused Abuser can be the boss, co-workers, husband, etc. It should be stop, since we are entitled to be respected as a human being.
