sometimes i wish he gets a bit more romantic
By jazel_juan
@jazel_juan (15747)
Philippines
July 19, 2012 8:42pm CST
or i guess i am just reading too much?
see my husband is a nice guy, i mean nicer and has a lot more patience and i know he loves me. Just that how i wish he gets more of the romantic thingie as he is not the most romantic person in the world lol. I even told him that once as i got pissed off as there was once he just greeted me on my birthday and nothing else. how romantic could he be?? 
Like yesterday i was not feeling well, how i wish he could just comfort me or something! How clueless can he be? Someone told me here, maybe i am not that way to him, that was months ago, i learned to be the one to initiate, when he comes now i ask him how he is, how was his day and i hugged him more. But he is clueless as he does not do anything to reciprocate. duh!
are men clueless sometimes? or is it just him? lol oh well!
Like yesterday i was not feeling well, how i wish he could just comfort me or something! How clueless can he be? Someone told me here, maybe i am not that way to him, that was months ago, i learned to be the one to initiate, when he comes now i ask him how he is, how was his day and i hugged him more. But he is clueless as he does not do anything to reciprocate. duh!
are men clueless sometimes? or is it just him? lol oh well!3 people like this
16 responses
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
20 Jul 12
No you're not the only one. When my husband proposed to me by just handing me my ring that's still in the case, without as much as a "will you marry me?", I should have realized his total lack of a romantic bone haha!
Subtle hints don't work with him. Like on valentine's, I told him upfront that I will feel more loved if he will send me some flowers. You know what he did? He handed me his credit card and said, here honey, get any flower you want, and some chocolates too. Lol!
Don't get me wrong, he's the best husband for me. But not exactly a romantic one.
Oh well, guess we can't have the best of both worlds. :)
2 people like this
@katcarneo (1433)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Wahahaha this is too funny! My partner thinks flowers are a waste of money. I work in events (mostly weddings) and so everytime I come home from an event I bring home a bouquet of flowers for him, or worse, and entire floral centerpiece! I was thinking "hint, hint, give me flowers!"
2 people like this
@katcarneo (1433)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Lol! In my case, he talks about how Valentine's Day is a marketing ploy, and everything related to V-Day screams commercialism! When I am on FaceBook and I see friends of mine happily toting flowers given to them by their loved ones, I do "Wow, flowers! How sweeeeet" very loudly.
2 people like this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Ladies you are not alone on this one too! My husband NEVER EVER gave me flowers as he also think it is a waste of money! lol. Till now i could do nothing but laugh at this too, i mean how unromantic they can be? they do not have an ounce of romance in their body. Even during valentines, he would just say it is such a cliche now that he does not want to join the hullaballoo of it! wahhh!!! 1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Jul 12
jazel__ some men are clueless and need a little thumping to
get it into their heads we love to b e told I love you
my hubby always said you gotta know I do as all I do
is for you.they are mostly practical and not at all romantic
unless you show them how.you can show him how to be a tad more romantic and some of it will stick. I always complained
that he never bought me flowers. so one day he gets this big silly grin and takes a wheelbarrow and walks up the street to my mom;s house.he returns about forty minutes later with a full wheelbarrow full of the most beautiful Shasta daisies lush white full bloom and he plants them in a row in front of our house."now" he says '" do not
say I never brought you flowers." they were really truly beautiful too.
2 people like this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
awwwww now that is sweet Ms.Hatley, wonderful memories for you. I am smiling when i read this, maybe someday my husband will get the hint
@gerlieann (73)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Wooow that man now it worth an applause! he is so sweet but just need to be thumping before doing so.! Happy for you Hatley!
1 person likes this
@katcarneo (1433)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Hahaha story of my life. My partner is quite the same, and I am still trying to accept that he is not like me. Me! The type who still writes letters and gives cards and handmade gifts. The other day I was stranded at a mall because it was raining too hard. Our house was five minutes away by tricycle. I called him and said I couldn't get out of the mall because of the rain. Instead of offering to be at my rescue, he simply told me to just hurry home. How clueless can you be? As I proceeded to be upset, he asked me why I didn't just say I wanted to be picked up. Grrrrr. It was the third time I called him from the mall (where I get off the bus from work) hinting that I wanted to be picked up, and still he doesn't get it!
2 people like this
@katcarneo (1433)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Sometimes I get so annoyed because I am not the type who asks to be picked up just because. I mostly do things by myself, so when I obviously need help, I don't get why he doesn't get it!
2 people like this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
true, they just don't get it sometimes.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
that happened to me too, when i would say i will do some over time work and he will just say just come home and i really wonder if they are clueless about this? that when we say things like this it means they need to pick us up! men can be really clueless! Its like they do not know how to read between the lines.1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Oh dear, men differs from each other.
Some men are romantic and sweet while others are not too sensitive.
Same thing with women, I am not that sweet-depends on how sweet is define from its true essence -hehehe.
Just show him how much you care and don't change your ways.
I am sure he is sweet on other things 
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
20 Jul 12
All that glitters are not gold. Some guys who express their love and romance can be not good inside and goes to other girls and some guys who do not express their love and romantic can be the person who loves you very much.
I think some love are not shown and are hidden in the men's heart. Some men believes it is weak to cry or show their feelings in the front of the girls.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Yes you are 100% right, not all men are alike..and even tho my husband is not the most romantic person in the while, he is still perfect. oh well... i could still dream.
1 person likes this
@aejey322 (1004)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
You are not alone... :)
My husband seems to be like that also. I know he loves me... I can see how he cares for our children. But there are just times when I can't help but to doubt it just because he was not romantic at times.
And yes, I also experienced just being greeted with "happy birthday" It could have made me feel better if it comes with at least a stick of rose... and even anniversaries... Before the day, he would talk about it like "hey, our anniversary is fast approaching.." so you're expecting like maybe he is planning for some sort of surprise... but you'll be more surprised because there's nothing spectacular...
I envy those thoughtful guys really planning out to surprise their wife or gf...
maybe there are just men who are like that. you can't get a complete all-in-one package...
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
true, i guess they forget to being sweet as well they are working too.. they get tooo practical and forget the romantic stuff.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
I thought i am alone on this one. but true how i wish he would just get a cake if he finds roses a waste of money, i bet cakes are not lol as we get to eat it! But then my husband would not even get even a slice of it...
I have who do this, he would take his wife out for a date and he would also get her gifts...
@aejey322 (1004)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
sometimes i wish we did not get married. he was sweeter when we were still bg/gf... well maybe it's true that sweet things may fade when you live in one roof... because it happened to me. lol. But nevertheless, I'm still thankful because he has been a good father to my kids.
but i still can't forget about the cake and the rose... lol!
1 person likes this
@gerlieann (73)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
There are some men who are insensitive. Maybe that's it. I can relate to you when it comes to my man also. We did so much affection to them, we initiated romantic moves however they are so destructed with to many things that they did not recognized our efforts. I cooked a lot for my family and sometimes i took extra efforts to make it more special and yet never had an complement. Even when i get sick instead of comforting me he gets mad because i did not took care of myself that is why i get sick!
2 people like this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
True, he also gets mad at me for being sick too but sometimes we cannot help it right? i mean there are things which we could not control and no matter how much we take care of ourselves, we still get sick and needs care.
1 person likes this
@katcarneo (1433)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
We just want our men to cuddle us and coo "My poor baby is sick...." and all that sweet nonsense. How hard can that be? Instead he tells me to sleep while he goes on and plays DOTA. A good thing that can be said about my man, though, is that he prepares all the meals at home. He will most certainly oblige to a request of a hot bowl of soup when I am sick.
2 people like this
@gerlieann (73)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
right, we don't want to get sick just to get his loving attention, caring. We dont like to be sick as well.It's just that sometimes we want to be pampered also. We deserve to be taking care of as well!
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
20 Jul 12
Well, what I have learned, is that usually the way they were treated at home is the way they will treat others as they get older. This is true in friendships and relationships and it is sad. Too many times because they did not get the Love and attention, etc. that they so desired as they were growing up, they do not know how to show it when they are married.
Maybe you need to have a talk with your husband and let him know you are feeling this way and see if there is ways you can change this. For me I know knowing there is someone who cares when I am feeling at my worst makes it more worth while.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Yes i believe he was just too tired from work too but then sometimes we need some love and care.. and i guess he also got used to me so independent and doing things on my own too.
I hope you will feel better soon Ms. Tina..
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
20 Jul 12
I think it is better to tell your husband what you are feeling. I think most boys do not know what the girls want until they tell you. I am also a husband and I think mostly I would like from my wife what she wants from me. I think most probably you tell him that you would like him in a romantic ways in a nice way. I would suggest you to tell him what all things you want from him like giving a a huge hug and give a kiss, etc. Men are like that dear. They want to be told by their girls what they want and they will do it. Say like this. I will be very happy if you buy me a dairymilk. When you hug me, I feel a huge amount of happiness inside. I do not know why whenever you give me a kiss I see a smile coming on the corner of my mouth. Best of luck jazel.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
21 Jul 12
It is nice to be with someone who knows what you need or want, i do not have problems opening up to him about it but then how i wish i do not have to.. i mean do we always have to tell you what we want? can't guys tell what we like?
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
20 Jul 12
Over the last couple of years, my husband and I have been through a really rough patch in our relationship because of medical issues that he has been dealing with and the stress that it has caused to me. There used to be a time when he would always give me a kiss before he went to work in the morning and we spent a lot of time snuggling, but we really don't do that anymore and I kind of miss it.
I think that with men it does get to a point that they get comfortable in a relationship and they don't think that the need for true romance is there anymore.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
21 Jul 12
Your husband is indeed not into being romantic, jazel. So you might as well stop expecting that he will be.
As long as he does things to prove that he loves you that's okay.
However, girls are girls and they expect their partners to be romantic too. 
@cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
I don't have a partner. But I know that some men are just like that. My dad doesn't give flowers to my mom too. He would always say that you can't eat flowers so it's a waste of money (men's famous dialogue LOL). My mom isn't romantic too, so I guess they're perfect for each other. They do eat out on Valentines and on their wedding anniversary though, but my sister and I would always tag along LOL. They don't want to be left alone anyway.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
my parents do not even celebrate their anniversary and do not go out.
@jvincent_129 (4994)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Yes. Every wife wants that from their husbands. They want to spice up the relationship once again. Women are seeking for attention and love from their partners. I know how that feels because I too have a girlfriend. Every man should remind once in a while their partners how much they love them.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
21 Jul 12
Good thing you are sensitive when it comes to these stuff vincent, you should listen to what your gf wants or needs.. it will come in handy 
@512771751 (1096)
• China
20 Jul 12
OH, it is common for males not being romantic. Males are not careful as females, they have to go to work and when they come back home they feel too tired. I have a similar experience like you. Just understand him.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Lol but i also work and he works, so its equal.. so i still do not think its fair though
@zhette4220 (181)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Men are like that.They are afraid of showing their emotions , especially when it comes to sweetness thingie. They feel like "eww" co'z they are actually not used to it.What you got to do is to initiate. Do to him what you want him to do for you.That would have a good outcome. know what? boys like the fact that they are taken care of.
Goodluck jazel...have a happy married life
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
I guess they are not used to it as well they want to be manly.. lol but then being sweet is a sign of a good man too.. oh well.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
20 Jul 12
Have you asked him outright why he isn't very romantic? Maybe if you were to sit him down, with no distractions and asked him, maybe he is blissfully unaware of your needs or just needs to be told? Are you romantic with him? Like any relationship its about what both partners want and need as well as compromise. However I am not surprised that you were P*ssed off when he couldn't even be bothered to get you anything for your birthday. How long does it take to go out and purchase a birthday card, just a card means he has taken the thought to get it for you! It doesn't have to be an expensive gift, its the thought that counts. We are not always clueless, just need to be told LOL
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Sometimes there are just too many things that's going on in our minds that we tend to take significant people in our lives and the things they do for us for granted. Often times we forget just how much we need this people in our lives. This also happens to me when I am bothered with problems or just busy over-thinking a lot of stuff, fortunately though my girlfriend is very sweet, understanding and kind, and she never fails to make me notice this. I do compensate for not being able to reciprocate her attention at times, and I apologize sincerely to her for those times. I guess though, that there are people who are just not that romantic, but I believe I am and I am proud to be. Don't worry, I'm sure he will make it up to you in his own ways.
