Disappointed...

Jacksonville, Florida
July 23, 2012 11:31am CST
Today I am feeling very disappointed. You see, when my husband got hurt and we called a lawyer the lawyer told us his case would be a high paying one once we were ready to settle. Sadly, they lied. Today we found out he is only getting $20,000 when we settle. We had so many plans, we were planning on buying a house, helping some family members and taking the kids on a vacation and now, well, none of it is going to happen. I just thought this was going to be a new beginning for our lives, our ticket out of Hell. I thought our children were going to have a better place to grow up in. I was just so wrong and I feel so stupid now! I thought we could finally prove people wrong about us. I thought we were no longer going to be the scum of the family anymore after this...Again I was so wrong. I am grateful for the money we will be getting, I just wish they never told us we were going to get $125,000. I hate being lied to in such a big way like that. It was such a HUGE let down. I guess I just need to get over it, what else is there to do? But it will take me a while to get over such a big let down. I have cried, gotten angry and now well I just need to move on and get over the fact that this will be the way our life forever is. I guess I just need to pray for a miracle to happen... Have you ever been let down in such a big way?
10 people like this
19 responses
@inertia4 (26582)
• United States
23 Jul 12
Maybe you should not have had your hopes up that high to begin with. Just because the lawyers said one thing does not mean it was going to happen that way. Be grateful for what you did get and move on with your life. I do not think you are the low end of your family. I know I don't know them, but from talking with you here on MyLot I get the feeling that you are the richest one of all. You are nice, you are honest and caring. To me that is work millions. Not everyone has the opportunity to make old of money. I know because I am in a situation like you. So I get it.
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Jul 12
You know inertia, I am usually a negative thinker so I didn't believe them but everyone around me was telling me to be more positive and it could happen and blah blah blah. Then the lawyers on top of it telling us this would be the amount I guess I did kind of fall into their lying trap. I started to believe it more than I realized. This is why I am normally a negative thinker so I don't go through the pain I feel now...I am so highly disappointed!! Back to my negative thinking, at least I won't feel the agony I am feeling right now... Thank you inertia, I don't feel rich when I look around and live the life I have. But I know what you mean. I am just so tired of everyone looking at us like were scum because we take no vacations, barely get by, smallest house, unstable life...I am just so sick of it all!
4 people like this
@inertia4 (26582)
• United States
23 Jul 12
I totally understand your anguish. I feel the same way. And what makes it worse is when my evil ex talks out of both sides of her mouth. One one side she rubs in the fact that she has loads of money and the other side she tries to make me think she is living hand to mouth. She is a fu@king bit@h. So don't feel bad. I am still living in my apartment and I am tired of looking at the same walls day in and day out. But I am planning on painting this fall. DO'n worry about how others look at you. That will not get you far in this world.
3 people like this
• Grenada
23 Jul 12
Oh honey, I am soooo sorry to hear that.It must be so tough to get such a let down.I'm really sorry.I don't know how you feel both you and the guy with the girlfriend problems...But God knows and He's aching too to see you all in pain and disappointments and discouragements.Know always, that you can go to Him.He is the Comforter and the Just Judge, the Vindicator of them who love Him and supplier of our needs.
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Jul 12
Thank you. It is really tough expecting one thing and being so highly disappointed! =( We are fully relying on the Lord, we know only He can make this better. We have been praying a whole lot. And were trying not to get angry, but were not doing so good with that. After that phone call now our AC went out again and our landlord is NOT a good one so were going to be sweating again... Such a bad day!
3 people like this
• Grenada
23 Jul 12
Stay strong dear...
2 people like this
@marguicha (78352)
• Chile
23 Jul 12
I´m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you did not overspend while you were waiting for the settlement because that way you can get into big debts. Coudn´t your hubby use part of that money to study something so that he could work in spite of his handicap? I hope everything turns out the best for you! Take care.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Jul 12
Thank you. No we did not have the money to over spend at all. We were hoping this check would be our relief. Apparently not though. Apparently were supposed to struggle forever. My husband school wise is about on a 4th grade level. He would not be able to pass any tests or anything unfortunately...
3 people like this
• United States
23 Jul 12
First off You and Hubby Are Not , Not the scum of Any family. Do not let Anyone make you feel that way! you two are good people and you have each other. Anyone who looks down on this is the Scum , Not you! Ok about the money. It is enough to find a better place to rent? And to take the kids on a mini vacation. The kids will love it. Or... it can be a start for the college fund. 20,000 is a nice sum! To answer your question. No, I haven't been told something that great was to happen and it didn't happen. But I have had loved ones pass away . That is worse. So look on the bright side. You , Hubby , and the kids are healthy. And you have each other.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Jul 12
Thank you girl. It is just the way others think of us, you know? When they think of us they think oh I wonder if their going to actually be able to keep this place and pay bills. That is hard to know that is how they think of us. Yeah it's enough to find a better rental. We just so badly wanted to own our first house together and be able to go on our first real vacation together since we have never had one. I am grateful for what we have. I just wish we were never promised so much more. That amount of money is going to be gone before we know it and I will have to get a job, I am so dreading that part. I want to be a stay at home mother and I thought I would be able to or I never would have had kids. I don't want someone else raising my children...
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jul 12
Suggestion. Stay home until all the kids are in school. Then get a part time job that has the same hours as the school hours. That way you will Still be home when the kids come home!Don't you Ever see yourself as a failure. Everyone is having money problems! The kids are here and you love them.You will find a way.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
23 Jul 12
I've been let down a few times, so I know how you feel. That's why I remain pessimistic. So that if something does turn out good, I get pleasantly surprised. I think it's good that you've already poured out your emotions. To get it out of your system. And focus on moving ahead. I know it's not the sum that you and your family wanted, but it IS something. And I hope that you could use it to make your lives a little better. And maybe a little treat to bring a little happiness to you, and your kids (and your husband of course), that you deserve.
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Jul 12
I am usually a negative thinker bounce but for some reason everyone telling me to stay positive sunk in my head. I should not have let it but I did. I usually feel that negative thinking is the safer route and now I remember why. I am no longer going to think positive because all it got me was a broken heart! We thought this was going to be our break in life. We thought we were finally going to have something nice, we thought we were going to buy our first house finally after being together for 8 years and always renting... I am grateful for it, I know it doesn't seem that way but I really am. I am just so shocked and hurt right now. When you expect so much for so long and then find out its not going to happen its a lot to handle in one day.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
24 Jul 12
Oh please don't get me wrong. I'm sure there would be people here bashing me(us) for thinking negative. And I'm sure that it is better and healthier if we thought positive. But... I've always thought that it served me well to be pessimistic. It just lessens my stress levels. I hope you don't let yourself get defeated with this. I'm sure there's a rainbow for you and your family just around the corner. I'm pullin' for ya!
@Hatley (154806)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Jul 12
hi Lovingmybabies oh that was awful of the lawyer to su ggest su ch a lare sum as the let down mst have been overwhelming. but look at the bright side you have 2 0000 thousand more dollars than yu o had before. somehow you m ight still be able to realize one or two of your dreamed. I know I think how y ouo fee. when we b ecame homeless and my son worried for my safety on the streeet got me in here a retirement center he promised i would not be here long as he wo uld get a great jog and we would be ab le once more to rent a two bedroom a partment. well nothing has worked out likethat he is working but not making the big wages that would get us in to a 2 bedroom apt. so yes I am disappointed but am having to see the bright side of it too so as to stay happy here and now.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Jul 12
It was awful. It hurt so bad. We just had so many plans and to think they are now not going to happen breaks my heart. We have been going through this crap since December 2nd, I am just so tired of it. I absolutely am starting to HATE lawyers! They are liars and crooks. Yes it is much more than we have now. I am grateful for it, I truly am. I know it probably doesn't seem that way with this discussion Hatley. We just thought our life was going to change now. We thought we would be able to buy our first house together and finally not struggle for once. When reality smacked us in the face, it broke our hearts. I am trying to keep the positive thoughts in my head that it's more than we have now. We have been through so much, especially with this case that I just thought it was finally our time, finally our break in life...
1 person likes this
@dosking (41)
• India
23 Jul 12
Unrealistic expectations for me caused lot of grief earlier especially when I am promised for money to clear my debts
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Jul 12
Yes I am keeping my negative outlook in life, it is not as painful...Lesson learned!
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
23 Jul 12
It was terrible that they even threw out that big of a sum. They should have known that they weren't sure they could honestly get you that much. You had so many plans and now it's all down the drain. Though I don't think your life will forever be the way it is now. It's good you are getting atleast the $20,000 back though.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Jul 12
I agree, they never should have told us that at all. If they didn't, I would have been expecting the lowest amount possible! But making all of those plans and having some sort of hope for our future was the only thing that kept me going each day living here... Now I am just so sad. I am grateful for the money, I just also know we cannot buy a house and get out of this situation now...
3 people like this
@alaskanray (4642)
• United States
23 Jul 12
Funny you should bring this up today. I just got off the phone with a lawyer...the third one I've contacted in my case. Yesterday, after months of trying to get this lawyer in Portland to take me seriously, after sending her all the information she requested and emailing her several times for some kind of response, she had her aide email me that her calendar was full and she had no room for me! I have been trying since December to get a lawyer to sit down with me and discuss my case, tell me if I even have a case or not and let me get on with my life. The first lawyer said this would be a federal case so he insisted I call this woman in Portland so I did. When I tried to call him back today, his number was disconnected! So I turned to the phone book. We now have an appointment with a new lawyer tomorrow morning bright and early. At least he can tell us if we have a case or not. If we don't, then I can let go but if we do, he can bloody well go to bat for us. This is exactly why I told that first lawyer that I didn't want an out of town lawyer...because when they're not local, they just plain don't care. I'm sorry you had such a disappointing settlement. Here's hoping mine turns out a little better but I'd even be happy with $20k at this point...we could pay off some of these bills! Hugs!
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Jul 12
Oh goodness. I understand your frustration with lawyers. We had a different lawyer for this case for the first month. Then all of a sudden they tell us this case is too difficult for them and they were dropping the case!! We were like what?? Then we called about 20 different lawyers and this one was the only one that would take the case without an issue. My husbands ex boss did not have workers comp so it was a little bit of a tricky case. They had to go above him to the people he was working for and get comp out of them... It was a pain the rear end, the whole thing was a mess. He got hurt on December 2nd and this case has been dragging on and on. We still have not even settled yet, the lawyer just told us we will be soon. (To them soon could be a year from now!) I hope the lawyer your going to see is a better one than the others. A good lawyer is almost non existent now a days! Yeah we are grateful for the money but we just thought we were finally going to own a house together and go on our FIRST vacation together! Oh well, something is better than nothing...
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jul 12
Yah, I hear ya loud and clear. We had a good meeting this morning. At least he's willing to look at our case and tell us if we have one or not! That's a lot more than the other lawyers were willing to do!
@sedel1027 (17868)
• United States
24 Jul 12
I'm sorry you were let down I would be very mad, not disappointed. Did the tell you way they were only settling for $20,000? What about going to court to fight the amount? If my husband couldn't work there is no way I would not settle for $20,000. even $125,000 isn't a lot for someone who will not be able to work - especially if he is not getting disability or other compensation. I'm sorry you have to vice up time with your kids. I know how hard that is. I'm dreading my husband medically retiring from the military because as much as I enjoyed working I don't like having to put our youngest in daycare and I don't like having to send my son back to public school. Even though I'm going back to school.my husband thinks we will be able to alternate our schedules enough for things to stay the same. I doubt that.
• Jacksonville, Florida
25 Jul 12
Thank you. I was mad. After that wore off I became disappointed. Lol. I don't know exactly how it works but the lawyer told us that is all they are going to give us. So, he said we are settling for it. I know it is such a low amount for what happened and for the fact that he will no longer be able to work! There is no way he will get disability or anything unfortunately. It really stinks that I will not be home with my children anymore. My husband says he will fight and try to go back to work but for one no one will hire him with one hand and for two I don't want him in massive pain every single day! It is so unfair! I hope you get to work it out with your schedules to make it work!
@sedel1027 (17868)
• United States
25 Jul 12
Wow, no disability Regardless of what the lawyers said, I would be pushing them to get more money. Its quite ridiculous that a company isn't held more responsible. Does he happen to be a Veteran?
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Aug 12
They are trying to push for more money now but we will see what happens...We cannot afford to wait much longer though.
@KrauseHome (32835)
• United States
8 Aug 12
Personally I think you need to be grateful for what you are getting. Maybe they just could not get you the original amount they told you due to situations they were not aware of at first. Or there are sometimes times when someone is just estimating and then wrong and like you said they should have prepared you more for this. But this is better than nothing and you just need to always remember that god is always in control.
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Aug 12
I am grateful as I stated but I do not appreciate being lied to. I don't think its right for people to say things JUST to get hired...If that is the case as soon as they found out the amount changed they should have told us that which they did not. Yes it is better than nothing like I told others as well. I am grateful for what we have, I just thought this would be our break in life...We have always struggled and I would like for our children to have more than what they do now...
@Shellyann36 (8037)
• United States
25 Jul 12
I would be very disappointed too if I were told we were receiving $125,000 then again later it was only going to be $20,000. Look at it this way though.... you can at least get a decent vehicle, take your family on a vacation and still have plenty of money left. Just use the money that you are going to get wisely. Internet Hugs!
• Jacksonville, Florida
25 Jul 12
Yeah it was quite disappointing. You know, I just wanted to prove people wrong. Show them that we can have nice things too. I really wanted to own a house together! =( I am so tired of renting, I really am. But yeah we will be able to get a vehicle which we definitely need! And maybe a mini vacation. =) We will be very careful with it. Were thinking about buying a trailer and renting it out so we will at least have some sort of income in case I cannot find a job...
• United States
25 Jul 12
Oh my goodness, this sounds terrible for you. What happened and do you HAVE to settle? Is it too late to change lawyers? I feel so bad for you and what schemers those lawyers were. They should have known what this was going to do from the beginning. I wish I could help you out, I really do. I'm so sorry.
• Jacksonville, Florida
25 Jul 12
It is terrible. =( I am so disappointed now. We do have to settle or they can keep throwing offers and that could take more than a year to settle which wouldn't be much better. We don't know if even after all that waiting if the offer will go up or not. It's a gamble unfortunately. Thank you, I appreciate your kind words so much. The lawyers are liars and they are schemers your right! There should be a law against them lying to people all the time.
• United States
24 Jul 12
It seems your family bears down on you too muc, you have to live within your means. Do what you need to do to make sure you have what you need. Don't look forwqard to people needing you, or being on top in your family. Just be happy for what you have.
• Jacksonville, Florida
25 Jul 12
Thanks for your response. =)
• India
24 Jul 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about this, they must avoid this lie which made you to dream a lot. Be sportive, some times too much of expectations will give disappointments. Hope you are happy with the amount whichever you received
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Jul 12
Yeah they got our hopes up for no reason. It is so wrong. We are happy with the amount were getting, I just hope it will help our life.
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
24 Jul 12
We have a friend that was hit by a semi, the semi did not stop at light. They kept telling her she would get a big settlement. They just settled with her, and after paying the lawyer and all the bills, she had $10,000 left.
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Jul 12
Yeah, it is terrible that they lie and get away with it. I wish I knew that they might be lying. Since this was the first time ever dealing with a lawyer we really did not realize they could be lying!! After we pay the lawyer we will probably have about $12,000 left after they take their part out!
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
24 Jul 12
Most lawyers can't be trusted! I have always know this and known alot of people who have been screwed over by lawyers! Most only care about themselves and not their clients! I hate to say this but you and your husband are very gullible. Not just with lawyers but lots of other people. You and your husband are very nice people and this gets you in trouble. In today's world,in some cases,being not so nice is better then being nice! I hope I did offend you! If I did I am sorry! Just telling you what I think.
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Jul 12
No they cannot be trusted. After the $20,000 they still have to take their part out. So, we will really be getting like $12,000 probably. We are gullible thats true but they still should not have lied and said they could get us $125,000! That was wrong. I am not offended at all, I do know we are too nice to people who don't deserve it but someday we will have our time where things will get better...
@shaggin (24139)
• United States
24 Jul 12
$20,000 is a nice sum of money. But it wont last that long things are so expensive. I can totally understand why you are dissapointed when you were expecting to get around 105,000 more then you are really going to get. I think your lawyer was wrong to tell you this. Maybe he had hoped that if he got you to think he could get you that much money you would chose him instead of another lawyer. Perhaps another lawyer truly could have gotten you the rest of that money but you will never know now. I remember your other post about the drunks in your neighborhood and how you couldnt wait to move once your husband got the settlement. I am really sorry to hear you wont be able to now. That is really sad and a huge let down seeing as you werent just going out and buying frivilous stuff you were going to move somewhere better for your children to grow up.
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Jul 12
Things are so expensive. That money is not even what were going to get because the lawyers are taking their part out of it too. Unfortunately... The lawyer should never have said it because it really hurt us now. Yeah, we called about 20 lawyers in this town though and everyone said this case was too tough for them except for our lawyer. So that's why we went with them. I did want to move SO badly, I just thought our life was going to change for the better...It just hurts a lot. Yeah I really wanted to give a better life to our kids. =(
@marie2052 (3697)
• United States
24 Jul 12
Unfortunately almost anyone with an attorney attached to the words gets robbed. Even SSD can turn you inside out. When I finally realized I was disabled, and went to the Social Security Office, they sit you down and even have you fill out the paperwork where you want your check to go in the checking account etc. Piece of cake right? That piece of cake turned into almost 3 years of nightmare for me. While I was being poked, prodded, and PROVING I needed to be declared disabled after working almost all my life, serving my country, raising 5 children, I called a Social Security Rep for Veterans. HE informed me til I was refused 3 times he could not help me. Once I had been refused the third time, call him. Well I did. HE then sent paperwork to me and he was to get like 40% of the pay from the beginning date not just the date HE started. People from the 50's and 60's did not know what a savings was. When I started work at age 15 I got 90cents an hour for being a nurses aide. I went in the army day after I turned 18. I was so proud. Got a 98.00 pay check a month divide that into 4 then 40 hours. And the Army did not go by hours month meant month. I fortunately had figured out how to run a business so I could stay home and raise 5 children. So while I was in the medical field at a young age, then tugging and pulling babies, toddlers, my business, then going on to go back in the Army during Desert Storm for more tugging and pulling, getting my EMT and working for 12 years with HIV/AIDS pts, I finally am told I have spinal desinegration in my cervical and lumbar areas. So as the Social Security Rep worked my case and getting a portion of my money, I was finally going to have to have a hearing with a judge on my case. My rep called me and one thing slid me under the wire to getting a 529.00 month SSD Check. Know what it was? Did I still have a copy of my Prescription for my walker. prior to that I was being repealed time and time again telling me I could still tug and pull working housekeeping in a hotel. yep. Life is not kind no matter what age you are. you are just greatful for the meager amount you get and go on until life is over I guess. Did your hubby settle for that meager amount if he is now unable to work? I always think of you and your children even though I don't talk to you everyday! Much love to you darlin.
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Jul 12
Your exactly right. We are going to be robbed because out of that $20,000 the lawyers still need to get their money out of that too! My mother is trying to get Social Security Disability. She has been denied once already. She has fibromyalgia (not sure on the spelling sorry), Depression, COPD, Pinched Nerves and High Blood Pressure. With all of that combined, they still said she could work! Absolutely crazy what it takes to get on that. My mom started working at 18 years old, she is 55 now. She should be able to get it. She has been trying to get it for 3 years now too! It is so unfair. I hate life, I really do. I am getting to the point where I am just wanting to give up on everything. My husband's lawyer said that is as high as their going so we don't know what to do. My husband has to make a decision by the end of today. If that is as high as their going regardless we don't want to keep dragging the process out... I always think of you too and your in my prayers. =) Love to you too and hugs!