Disappointed or anger?

@saphrina (31740)
South Africa
September 11, 2012 4:06am CST
Hi sweetie. Guess one of my thinking buttons broke again. I am impressed with myself as I don't get angry anymore. But now, I'm only disappointed. Which is better, anger or disappointment? Maybe both is bad for you.
6 people like this
29 responses
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
11 Sep 12
Hi saphrina Sometimes anger needs to be vented out. The more you keep the anger within you, the more unhealthy it becomes - stress, blood pressure and even something more severe. For the disappointment, it is heart breaking no doubt but then, it seems to be subtle in nature and knowing my dear Saphrina, I can say that she can handle this - but again there would be a extreme and limit. It might not work out but - you can share and discuss things with people, friends and even acquaintances who are closer to you and I am quite sure that it would help at least with the disappointments. ps: personal advice - please dont keep thinking about the anger or disappointment as many a times these things create a vacuum and you feel that you are being sucked into a kind of blackhole.
@akp100 (13191)
• India
11 Sep 12
Blackhole... hmm.. That's quite true.. Too much thinking can create worse situation.
2 people like this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
Nothing to worry about sweetie. Got nothing to suck me in. Anyway, can take a lot up to a point.
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
12 Sep 12
If that is true, I love the change happening to you... must have been painful but am sure that life would be good for years to come
@primeaque86 (7968)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
Hi. I would rather chose none of the two. If you are disappointed, it can give you bad effects on your health too. It's better to accept things, sometimes there are things are not meant to happen for some reasons....
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
11 Sep 12
Thank you for your opinion.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
Your're welcome!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (157682)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Sep 12
hi prime am I missing something here? I thought yo u' were saphys friend? you sounded sort of cold and she sounded rather dispondent too,I am not sure she was all th at thankful to you P rime?
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 12
For me, anger is one of the result from being disappointed. I need couple of disappointed to make me get angry. So, you know the answer?
2 people like this
@vandana7 (57187)
• India
11 Sep 12
I have to give it to you..u are right..in a way..
1 person likes this
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
12 Sep 12
I believe you ever saw the movie of Hulk and couple of other movie? Anger is an instant feeling, but give so much effect. Whether to ourself and or to the people arround us. When we anger, we will lost our consius, shame, etc. While for disappointed, we prefer to hold it.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
anger can be destructive sweetie. I know the answer, thank you.
• Australia
11 Sep 12
Anger can be creative, where disappointment is almost always destructive. And if you can get angry and explode, the pressure goes, and you wont suffer stress, hypertension, and for all I know, hives. Anger is for winners, disappointment for losers. I mean, we all get disappointemnts, that doesn't make us losers, but dwelling on it does. Anger makes us get up and do something about it. Lash
2 people like this
@Hatley (157682)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Sep 12
hi grandpa lash once when I was a young nurses aide I had a patient who was really very rude and we are ta ught the patient is always right, wellmost of t he time, but this time I had to run out of the room or call the man the most obscene person I had ever met then slap him hard,so I was in the utility room having a q uick cry when m y head nurse came in and w ent right to the garbage can and gave it an almighty kick as she yelled take that you creepy nerd you and that and that. two more kicks,. then she asked me why I was upset, I told her about Mr,smith and his obscene mouth. I asked her why she had kicked the can, she said "never mind co me with m e,." we went into Mrfoul Mouth Smith's room and she said," Mr smith I have kicked the can instead of y ou but if I hear one more foul word out of that foul mouth of yo urs towards my aides I will personally kick you to Kingdom Come,. He was so shocked he did not say a wo d,from then on he never used his nasty vocabulary and too he was dismissed the following day as the doctor also had had it with him,anger won out that time for sure.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
oh, I got up and did something about it, sweetie. Nothing can get me down now. Lol That is funny actually, Hatley.
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
12 Sep 12
I agree with you , grandpa_lash. Disappointment is an emotion we keep inside , most of the times. I personally don't know how to deal with it to prevent the health problems it makes. Being disappointed is about something we can't change most of the times , it doesn't depend on us. Now , anger , we can get up and make a change , we can express it with shouts , kicking garbage cans , like hatley just mentioned. For the most of my life I tried to avoid confrontation and kept my anger inside until I exploded. When I exploded , things became better.
@akp100 (13191)
• India
11 Sep 12
Hi Saphy Well, I will go for last one , as yes both are bad for you... But surely angryness sounds more better than disappointment... But better you try avoiding both as in then end both can make us suffer...
2 people like this
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
11 Sep 12
Hi Bro Uncle Fester got you some
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@akp100 (13191)
• India
11 Sep 12
He he.. You have changed your avatar after long time.. But this one is best character from that horror family..
2 people like this
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
11 Sep 12
I love him tooo
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
Both feelings are not good. But, if I were to choose, I'd still choose disappointment since it's more subtle and wouldn't have that much effect on any relationship as compared to anger. I used to be angry all the time and I would even gear my anger towards others, which is never a good thing. As years pass, I was able to contain my anger, and surpass my hot temper. Being disappointed all the time is also bad, since it would still give negative feelings. If disappointment occurs all the time, it just means you are expecting too much, and eventually, you might have that feeling of not being able to accomplish anything at all.
2 people like this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
hi sweetie. First I was extremely angry. Actually out of control, when disappointment took over, I became depressed. I lashed out a lot. Worst of all I had no one to turn to for any support. Now I'm over it and honestly, I'm a new me, actually.
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
That is so nice to hear. I'm truly happy for you. It's great that you are now able to control any negative feelings and have become a newer you, which I know, you're so proud and happy to be. Congrats!
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
Thank you sweetie. That is so kind of you.
• United States
11 Sep 12
I would rather be angry with someone instead of disappointed. If I am angry it will not last for long. If I am diappointed it would last much longer and make me feel differantly about the person.
2 people like this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
11 Sep 12
Hi sweetie. Sounds fair enough. Anger it is then.
1 person likes this
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
12 Sep 12
Being angry is more practical , it makes one do things that cause a big wave and sometimes it helps to make the situation better. Ha ha ha. I exploded on my dad almost a month ago and he improved his behavior to me since then. Being disappointed is more like keeping the feelings inside and not do something at all. That's how I see it.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
oh, anger can cause a wave sweetie. Disappointed will make you depressed. Not a nice feeling. Hope things will stay cool between you and your dad.
@celticeagle (114184)
• Boise, Idaho
11 Sep 12
I think that anger and disappointment mean there is something lacking. Anger means there is something underlying that is bothering you. Disappointment means you know the reason for the anger and are disappointed. So it sounds like you know yourself pretty wel. If you know what makes you angry and disappointed then get rid of it!
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
thank you sweetie, I definitely got rid of it... Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
hi Sweety, This past months life is not good but I stay positive I am really disappointed to the people around me but I just let it go besides they will not help me anyway I don't want to get mad at them as I will just stress myself too much and it's not healthy Hope you feel better
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
qe all go through bad things in life, just depend on how you deal with it... Those who caused the trouble in the first place, just don't give a damn. They just go through life destroying everyone they can without feeling any remorse. I'm fine, thank you.
@ElicBxn (60050)
• United States
11 Sep 12
Anger is an active emotion, disappointment is a passive one. No, neither are especially good for you, but neither are "bad" by nature. Its more of what you do with them. After all, Jesus is seen becoming angry in the Bible - whether or not you are Christian, most will admit he preached a doctrine of Love, even when his followers failed to follow it. But his actions were to drive the money changers out of the Temple, and while there might've been a place for them outside the Temple, they probably didn't belong IN the Temple. We also saw him become disappointed. As he did when he asked his Disciples to Watch with him and they fell asleep. He woke them, but did not become angry with them, he asked them again, and again they fell asleep. So, neither are innately "bad" but you need to consider how they affect you, don't turn them in on yourself. I speak from experience, I have been "pre-ulcer" several times because I do.
2 people like this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
I'm over both sweetie. I do try to avoid most bad things that will trigger my anger, so far I'm winning.
• India
11 Sep 12
Nice to see you after a long break, hope you missed your mylot friends in this long days.. welcome back. Both anger and disappointment is not good for us, we must try our maximum to control our anger, as you mentioned you planned to avoid your anger, that's great, keep it up forever and don't disappoint with your decision again
2 people like this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
thank you sweetie I'm sure I can keep this up without disappointing myself I the end.
@Sreekala (18782)
• India
11 Sep 12
Hi saphy, Happy to see you after a long time. Regarding the topic, I think I am worse when I am angry, but on disappointment am silent mostly. I must admit I cant control my anger often In case of disappointment, it is harmless to others atleast.
2 people like this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
hi sweetie Good to see you again. Its not worth the effort to get angry anymore. We don't gain anything from it...
@vandana7 (57187)
• India
11 Sep 12
I prefer anger sweetie..it means we still have a chance to correct the situation. Disappointment is a resigned acceptance of the situation. It should be only when we are truly helpless.
1 person likes this
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
12 Sep 12
How much murderer in out there? Some of them are a nice person, but when the anger comes. Everything changes.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
hello Ma. I don't want to get angry anymore. I probably will be disappointed again, but I hope not. I just have to stay positive.
@vandana7 (57187)
• India
12 Sep 12
Devilova, I just wrote a well thought out (at least I thought it to be like that) response and myLot ditched me..lol Never mind here is a retry ..normally it takes me ages to return to the discussion..but I felt I had to tell you what I think.. I am hurt, it becomes my duty to be angry about it, and do something about it. Why? It is an indirect duty imposed on us to ensure that the person who wrongs us does not do it to another. So the one who suffers is in fact a person who is given the duty to rectify the situation. Accepting suffering with resignation is wrong because when others suffer the same things, the sin becomes ours. Now for anybody to reach an anger of murderous level..they must have put up with a lot of hurt. Very very very few people are born with uncontrollable anger. Dont you think reacting the first time would have saved the situation? So suppressing anger is bad. It is too much of anger suppression that leads to such volcanic explosion. Nice people are mistaken about being socially nice. ok? Socially nice does not mean you put up with c r a p. Socially nice means ..you dont hurt others but when you are hurt ..you do take required measures to stop such behavior. And yes, I do feel sorry for those people in prison..many of them were nice folks. Isolating them is hardly going to help..when they need somebody to understand their side of story and their way of understanding the situation. The rule, of course, does not apply to everybody.
@AmbiePam (45757)
• United States
12 Sep 12
I prefer numbness to those two!
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
believe me, I get what you are saying, sweetie. But, we have to face both, take them by their nostrils and show them we can overcome it...
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@gloryacam (5546)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
That's the spirit, Saphy!
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@AmbiePam (45757)
• United States
12 Sep 12
@gloryacam (5546)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
It's part of the stages of emotions I guess. Anger is usually the first stage. And then there comes disappointment. These are bad emotions and they're really both bad for people. But, these are feelings that can't be avoided. What can be controlled is how we react towards how we feel, and how we cope with what we feel and finally, how we let go and put an end to it. It becomes unhealthy if we harbor these feelings for a long time. I hope you're going to be okay. Cheers! (Glass clink in the background)
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
hi sweetie. Those two stages can really send you on a wild trip to hell. Seems I'm lucky this time. I got rid of all bad things in my life after that disappointing ride. Love the sound of those glasses.
@cynthiann (18635)
• Jamaica
11 Sep 12
Both are bad. Sounds as though you are between a rock and a hard place going through a mega stressful time. It will pass. Everything passes in time my friend. Thinking of you
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
how are you my sweet muffin? Luckily I'm out between that rock and hard place, thanks to one unbelievable person. Just hope it will work out this time. Thank you and take care.
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
hello sweetheart Anger won't do us good. It will only give us wrinkles as well. Disappointment gives lesser health problem. Anyway, forget anger and disappointment. let's rock the city
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
12 Sep 12
hi sweetie. Rather get rid of both. Happier times and life await you then. I have a lot of great things happening in my life right now.
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
13 Sep 12
I think being angry is an active action, while being disappointed is a passive action. Isn't an active action is better than a passive action?
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
13 Sep 12
action, smaction sweetie. Its unhealthy.
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
13 Sep 12
Well, you can release what is inside your heart when being angry. But you will keep your disappointment deep inside your heart and that is not healthy to my opinion...
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
13 Sep 12
I'm facing everything with confidence now, sweetie. I can keep my anger under control and disappointment I treat like a bad dream. Face it and get it over with. Its still painfull, but that I can survive.
@Memnon (2173)
13 Sep 12
Niether are good. But I guess that of the two,disappointment is the lesser evil. Anger often fueln revenge and stres- sometimes life shortening. Both feed resentment, but I rarely get stressed over disappointmen as it is encountered on a daily basis in most walks of life! That gets me depressed..
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
13 Sep 12
hi sweetie. One thing I have learned the hard way, is to deal with both. No matter what caused it, take it head on and be done with it... Not easy, but worth a try.
@Memnon (2173)
13 Sep 12
I have found that whilst disappointment, and sometimes anger, stalk me, depression is a constant companion, if companion is the right word...
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
14 Sep 12
sweetie, read a book, do a cross word puzzle, anything to keep your mind of getting depressed.
• Dhaka, Bangladesh
24 Feb 13
Sorry, dear sweetie, I wrote a nice response but I could not post it and it disappeared. Let me try it to re-post. Anger and disappointed may happen together. At first, if I do not get my desirable job done, then I will be disappointed and thereafter anger. If I saw that my job is not done properly, then I will be disappointed and at the same time anger also. But in some occasions, I cannot express my dissatisfaction/disappointment. As an example, when I see my senior or boss commits some mistake or does some nuisance act, then I cannot be angry or cannot show my disappointment. Before tasking any person, we must consider the the capability of a person and type of job, experience on it, confidence on him, value and priority of job etc. Because we should not give a job to doubtful person, who may not be able to do it. Have a very nice day.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
24 Feb 13
No worries sweetie. Anger is my best friend followed by disappointment. People tend to teach us that daily. I show both instantly, just my nature. I love to do things myself, then i know i cannot be angry or disappointed in someone else.
1 person likes this
• Dhaka, Bangladesh
24 Feb 13
Hi Sweetie, you are very right. Have a marvelous weekend.